Taggart And Torrens Podcast: Episode Guide

‘member when you tried to recall a specific cackle-inducing TnT moment but couldn’t put your finger on which episode it was?

No worries, bahds! These summaries will remedy the dilemma so you won’t have to spend hours searching for the most sarcastic thanks, Salvador meeting Briashley in Surrey, the inflatable floating Sharkie, Hitting the Post with TLC, or the unfortunate young man who can’t pronounce vowels while cleaning his cottage. HUGE THANK YOU to our bahd, Rikki, for helping put these together! And remember you can you catch up on all the episodes on iTunes, SoundCloud, Google Play and YouTube here

Jump To Episode: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 :: 11 :: 13 :: 14 :: 15 :: 16 :: 17 :: 18 :: 19 :: 20 :: 21 :: 22 :: 23 :: 24 :: 25 :: 26 :: 27 :: 28 :: 29 :: 30 :: 31 :: 32 :: 33 :: 34 :: 35 :: 36 :: 37 :: 38 :: 39 :: 40 :: 41 :: 42 :: 43 :: 44 :: 45 :: 46 :: 47:: 48 :: 49 :: 50 :: 51 :: 52 :: 53 :: 54 :: 55 :: 56 :: 57 :: 58 :: 59 :: 60 :: 61 :: 62 :: 63 :: 64 :: 65 :: 66 :: 67 :: 68 :: 69 :: 70 :: 71 :: 72 :: 73 :: 74 :: 75 :: 76 :: 77 :: 78 :: 79 :: 80 :: 81

Episode 1
Introductions & Rationale for poddy

“Canadianity”

Vacation (from hell) cruise reflections – “Floating Vermin Festival” (Character: Dennis)

Canadian Thing that comes to mind – Jonathan- “Want To?”
(Jeremy – “Come on, eh?”, Jonathan – John Candy quote) –> Significance of John Candy

Rob Ford discussion

Storytime Chime (Jeremy – “6-7 no-shirted guys smoking crack and flexing”)

Jay & Dan Interview

Ask Ronnie segment (J-Roc appearance; “75% of the woman I polled referred to you as studly,” “What’s poppin’? What’s crackin’?”)

Favourite Canadian TV Show (Jonathan – “Hanging In”)

Jeremy – “Holy Boats right there”

Favourite Canadian Food (Jeremy – “Peamale Bacon”)

Favourite Canadian (Jeremy – “John Candy”; Jonathan – “Jeremy Taggart”)

Episode 2
Embarrassing stories (Jonathan – “New Years Eve 1979. Little Drummer Boy performance”, Jeremy – “Getting caught masterbating by my dad… like a runaway train,” Jonathan – (1995 hosting International Day to Eliminate Racial Discrimination alongside Master T – poor joke delivery)

Dealing with forgetting people’s names (Jonathan – Commit to the fake cough, Jeremy – Recall a shared experience; Everything sounds better with “BAHD”, Don’t like: buddy, boss, bossman or guy.)

Bob Dylan Comebacks

Ask Ronnie segment

Danko Jones interview

“Pop it into your Word Hole”

Urkle calls Jonathan “the n-word”

Episode 3
Rob Ford discussion

Reflections on young drinking

Jonathan’s working at McDonald’s

Sochi Olympics reflections

Jeff Marek interview

John Dunsworth (Mr. Lehey) interview

Ask Ronnie segment (J-Roc appearance)

Crop Circles

Episode 4
Sick of Sochi

Jimmy Fallon & late-night talk show hosts

Jay & Dan interview & discussion about Sochi

Gerry Dee interview

Callin’ Pranks game

“Crushin it”

Ask Ronnie segment (J-Roc appearance)

Episode 5
Post-Olympic Withdrawals/Reflections

Jeremy’s Rick Nash bar story

Martin St. Louis drama

Jonathan recollects a Pink Floyd concert goer story (“Don’t worry about it”, “Hey StreetCents!”)

Jeremy – “Some speed with my legs”

Jeremy recollects living with Sean Avery in LA

Brent Butt interview

Brian Volmer interview

Poem Sayin’ Game
– “Father Figure” by George Michael
– “When I’m With You” by Sheriff
– “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Jermaine Stuart
– “Tempted to Touch” by Rupee

Episode 6
PJ Jeans/Fads in Fashion

Trailer Park Boys discussion

B-Rich interview (“Out for a rip” & Jeremy’s “sneaky rips”)

“BAHD”

Poem Sayin’ Game
– “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder
– “Kissing Rain” by Roch Voisine
– “The Look” by Rosette
– “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band

Episode 7
Rob Ford & Disgraced Sprinter Ben Johnson

Candy Awards
– Canadian word: Jeremy – “too”, Jonathan – “right”
– Food: Jeremy & Jonathan – “Poutine”
– Canadian moment: Jeremy – “Golf & Late-Night Beers with Lanny MacDonald”, Jonathan – “Writing for Juno Awards, David Suzuki and Bruce Cockburn introducing Gordon Lightfoot; getting shutdown by Gordon Lightfoot

Ask Ronnie segment

Episode 8
Dion Phaneuf & PK Subban discussion

Solange & Jay-Z in elevator video role play

Callin’ Pranks Game

Edmonton Oilers discussion

“Dangling So”

Episode 9
Trailer Park Boys discussion

E-mail Blunders (Jonathan – “Wah Wah, My Pussy Hurts”)

Ceiling Falling on Ronnie

“Polar Grizz”

Jersey Shore “Abters”

Embarrassing Gigs (Jonathan’s role at Reality TV Show Awards–>Danny Bonaduce; Jeremy’s bar mitzvah drum solo)

House renovations

Disability acting roles (Rosie O’Donnell “Riding the Bus With My Sister”)

Over & Under Game
– Musician: [Over-rated| Jeremy – “Pharrell – ear worm guy”, Jonathan “Coldplay”| Under-rated| Jeremy -“Smokey Robinson”, Jonathan – “Bruce Hornsby”]
– Actor: [Over-rated| Jeremy – “Jared Leto”, Jonathan – “Justin Timberlake” |
Under-rated| Jeremy – “Kristoph Waltz”, Jonathan – “Steve Buscemi”]
– Sports: [Over-rated| Jeremy – “Tiger Woods”, Jonathan – “Alex Ovechkin” |
Under-rated| Jonathan – “Edmonton Oilers (David Parron)”, Jeremy – “Anthony Gose”]

Episode 10
Jonathan has laryngitis; discussion on being sick/ill

Jeremy’s drinking history; discussion on getting banged up

Stompin’ Tom Connors

Jonathan recollects meeting Queen Elizabeth

Harry’s Mail Bag
– Different Career Path: Jeremy – chatting/talking; Jonathan – Stockbroker
– Significance of #7: Jeremy – Born on 7:57 on April 7th, wore it in baseball, Mickey Mantle wore it
– Street Cents old vs new: Jonathan – preferred old version
– Partied in Sudbury: Jeremy – Yes
– Stories from Joe Schmo set: Jonathan – Finale Bust
– Keytar vs harmonica hands-free headset: Jonathan – Keytar
– Nicest Celebrity: Jeremy – Alvin Jones; (Rita McNeil); Jonathan – Jason Priestly, Jenny McCarthy
– Least Nice Celebrity/Biggest Jerk: Jeremy – Flea (“big timing”); Jonathan – Backstreet Boys @ the Junos

The problem with karaoke

J-Roc’s new rap “CYT (Clap Ya Turdcuttah)” – recorded in laundry room

Finishing up the school year/places to visit in the summer (Jeremy’s son – “FREEEEDOMMMMM”)

“Take care, Bahd!”

Episode 11
Jeremy reflects on time with Our Lady Peace (going separate ways; 21 years; touring with “Jagged Little Pill” tour, new musical ventures)

Jonathan – “You’ve been blessed with the gift of the gab, bahd, if I do say!”

State of music industry and entertainment (getting rid of landlines; TV->Netflix)

Jonathan’s “3 Prong Recipe” for Career Choices: Fun, Money, Challenge (any 2/3)

Bumping into TnT supporters

Jeremy playing @ charity golf tournament with Staal family; Canadian PGA tour

Chile–> Cheel-ay

Summertime adventures with kids (Jeremy – “Cruisin’ in the Parks”)

Suggesting names for Jeremy’s new rock combo; (Jonathan – “Handbag, Sac a Main, Overhead Bins, The Irony”); #namejeremysband

Current state of TV shows (Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory)

Jann Arden “Unloved” duet story

Laugh tracks on “Intervention” (Street Cents removed laugh tracks from Friends, put it on Law & Order); Jeremy – “The worse it gets, the bigger the laughs are!”

Live Woos; Jonathan – “I’ve always wanted to be a woo’er on a live record.”

Jeremy featured on Chad Kroeger’s “Hero” music video (photo shopping Josey Scott’s ass; Jennifer Lopez’s “cottage cheese factor”)

Mutt Lang’s list making songs; Chadville’s songwriting

Sum41 on Jonovision (Jonathan checking out their moms); the end of Jonovision

80s Sitcom Theme Songs Game
– Growing Pains (Alan Thicke song; Kirk Cameron ultra-religious)
– Family Ties (Jeremy – “Remember that had the cheesy like they were hippies and they were real go-getters, and then they turned into like regular yuppies…”
– Barney Miller
– Nightcourt
– 227
– Webster
– Mister Belvedere (Marilyn Manson?)
– Who’s the Boss?

Kid on Vine (Plastic spoons on the eye sockets; “mmm – blocking out the haters!”)

Jonathan’s Top 3 “Could’ve Beens”: John Stamos sitcom (regular cast member); Nightly talkshow on CNN; The Soup; Audition for Reality Show – House Busters;

Episode 12
Jonathan’s Charity Harness Racing experience (inflatable bouncy horse race; accused of cheating; “is this really happening?…the crowd has turned on me!”)

“Is This Really Happening?” stories
– Jeremy – someone in band losing it on an airplane smoking joint on Californian beach running into the cops –> overnight in jail
– Jonathan – pulled over by CHP (Californian Highway Patrol), the tests that “I can’t even do sober”; G7 conference in 90s (Bill Clinton look-a-like) –> hosting post-conference conference and having to kill time between band sets (7 minutes in front of 70, 000 people). “It was bad news bears.”

Jonathan’s new country band (Shortlisted Names: Miniature Ponies & Giddy Up) “whack away on the Gibson Hummingbird”

Jeremy’s new band name Tweet suggestions: J-Bahds, The Bahds, A Couple of Bahds, The Fords, The Ronnies, 12th Storey Massacre, Holy Boats

Rob Ford update

Jonathan recollects hosting CBC’s AIDS Care show for teens (Snow flew in from Jamaica; “big times” the hotel; 3-4am partying; return to hotel to middle-aged women in their room; Snow was arrested the night before the performance; Sexpert Sue Johanson put tire-sized condom over Jonathan in a giant penis suit, photographer takes photos with Snow; best songs are ones that sound like children’s nursery rhymes; “ very playgroundy”)

Jeremy’s Musical Guilty Pleasures; “force feeding musical vegetables”

Jonathan recollecting his daughters singing Spice Girls

GagnYES or GagNON Game (Impersonator Andre Philippe Gagnon)
– “We Are the World” – Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie, Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nelson, Tina Turner, etc.
– “My Heart Will Go On” – Celine Dion
– George W. Bush
– “Rocket Man” – Elton John
– “We Are the World” – Bruce Springsteen
– “Wild Horses” – Rolling Stones
– Pink Panther song

Getting Boat License

“Fucks Sakes” as a band name

Episode 13
Reflections on Roberto Alomar (on Mr. D, his “rehearsed but patient smile,” 90s McCain’s “Catch the Taste” commercial
– Jonathan – “Catch the taste isn’t even a thing!”
– Jeremy – “When it hits the palate and you’re catching it with your flavour bits… picture the little Rawlings glove towards the end of your tongue or wherever the hell those parts are.”
– Jonathan -“Robert-O-My-God that’s good juice!” | “I am livid if you can’t tell.” | “Ala-mar-ma-lade”

“Jeremy Braggart”

OK Blue Jays song

“Boots n Hearts” Country Music Festival
– EMT lady– Airborne skin reaction/infestation/allergy “candles”
– EDM discussion

Jeremy’s festival Ecstasy experience

Saved By The Bell movie
– Dustin Diamond’s book which stirred the pot, adult film “Screetched,” life after Saved by the Bell, stand-up comic, (Jonathan – “I don’t even mean to diss the guy, because I am like one bad decision away from working at Burrito Jack’s.”
– Mario Lopez: Terrible awards “Lopezies”; “big smile with the dimples”; Mari-Yes or Mari-No Game
– Dustin Diamond: Chuckle Factory gig, “I am famous actor… you have pro-bla-bee seen me on tv.”

Jonathan’s Worst Fear: Computer taken into custody, Judge asks “did you or did you not search DustinDiamond.com?”

Sobey’s reflections (upscale Jewish grocery store in Toronto; Jonathan made dress for his daughter; negotiating with “Inspector Killjoy” for 150 burger patties)

Jonathan hosting “Crew-BQ” for Mr.D crew (Giant Tiger: Washer Toss, Bean Bag Game, Lawn Darts, “Cart Guy Carl” gives 5% off, soccer-baseball)

Mario or Jennifer Lopez Quote Game (Lopez or No-Pez, Mari-Yes/Mari-No)

George Lopez Joke Quote (jokes4us.com – “ethnic jokes”)

Miniature Ponies 1st gig

Episode 14
Jeremy’s microphone mishap (“could’ve been an interview with the pope!”)

Peter Mainsbridge’s private audience with the Pope; mistaken for President of Poland

Jonathan’s Trailer Park Boys hotel room story (“Love at First Diss”; walking in on “one of the dudes from one of Canada’s best known bands” having sex)

“When you’re touching that remote, you’re pushing old load.”

Hotel Concierge’s weirdest request: litre of maple syrup and saran wrap

MuchMusic’s 30th anniversary reflections (Past Vjs, Speaker’s Corner, music-based coverage –>media/pop culture coverage)

Jonathan’s birthday plans for Battle of Alberta season opener

Summer festivals (“shake down, take down,” “Dry Humperies,” Concert on the Hill, Marti-Gras on Argyle Street)

Dan Gallagher – “He liked to pound some frozen soldiers”

Jonathan’s – “Over-laughinsating”

Can80’s Videos game
– Northern Lights – “She Ain’t Pretty”
– Lee Aaron – “Whatcha Do to My Body”
– Haywire – “Dance Desire”
– Doug and the Slugs – “Too Bad”
– Frozen Ghost – “Dream Come True”
– Gowan – “Strange Animal”
– Paul Janz – “Every Little Tear”
– Platinum Blonde – “Cryin Over You”
– Barney Bentall – “Something to Live For”
– Skidrow – “I Remember You”
– Phil Collins – “Take Me Home”

Jeremy recollects going to the washroom, wearing werewolf costume, missing 4am intro. “Whatev salad”

Replacement lead singers (Gowan for Styx, Arnel for Journey)

Phil Collins – “FANKS”

Sting’s solo efforts “de-valued” the stock of the Police; has dinner at a huge table with a throne. “Can you pass the asparagus? Can you pass the Kale chips? Do you like the Sirloin? Have you tried the Brussel Sprouts?” “THANKS”

Sting’s kid is a total brat: “Fuck off” “Would you like some eggs n beans?” “Fuck off, you’re not my mum!” (Jonathan: “Why are Sting’s kids so angry?!”)

Cavalia horses dancing to “Cotton-Eyed Joe”

Episode 15
Jonathan welcomes Jeremy with “Elanor Rigby” rendition

Apple iPhone6 release with inclusion of U2’s new album– Bono needing to tap out; “promo not dough”; the iWatch

Discussion on materialism

Copycat Songs: “When does ‘inspired by’ turn into ‘flagrantly stealing?’”
– “Stay with Me” by Sam Smith –> “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty
– “Dani California” by Red Hot Chili Peppers –> “Last Dance With Mary Jane” by Tom Petty

2 Truths & 1 Lie Game
– Jonathan: 1st concert was Chuck Pride; Took ballroom dancing for 2 years; Has Jonovision logo tattooed on ankle
Jeremy: Met Neil Young; Met Mick Jagger; Met Bob Dylan
– Jonathan: Spit on by a camel; Dated Stephanie Kaye from Degrassi; Tried out for Soul Decision
– Jeremy: Pissed on a rack of mink coats; Pissed on a man’s leg under table; Pissed on a sleeping friend

Karate chops in hotel room closets

Can-80s Commercials Game
– Health Canada – Anti-Drinking Ad (Dad goes from “Zero to Dicksty”
– Canadian Tire – picking hockey teams (Albert gets overlooked)
– 1987 Eggs – Raging dad + Eggs = happy
– Aztar – “Feast your sound-holes on this”
– Log Driver’s Waltz – “member?”
– Whisper2000 Hearing Aid
– Maple Leaf Bacon – “Bacon getcha, eh?”

#ALSCHALLENGE – Jeremy’s Ice Bucket Challenge story

Jonathan discusses Oilers season opener with 1984 team in attendance; high cost NHL tickets

Jon Stewart convention

Episode 16
Phil Kessel arrives 15lbs overweight to training camp; importance of player conditioning

NFL discussion: media/tabloid coverage; domestic violence, “beating kids,” & Michael Sam situation; lack of response; short player lifespan

Discussion of Rob Ford being diagnosed with cancer

Thigh gaps and bellies: Jeremy – “women are finding that Randy look… they get randy over randy! They like the barrels! If you don’t have the barrel, they won’t look atcha…. They like the big poncho!”; crack weight-lifting

Seedy, rich barrelled business men in Yorkville; Adult films being filmed in the Hyatt on King; listening to Ke$ha or Pitbull; 5000 thread count shirt

3 things Jonathan’s not into: Camping, Bay Street, & Vancouver

Can90’s Videos Game
– Crash Test Dummies – “Superman’s Song” (both picked; 90’s Superman references; Brad likes “to pound frosty soldiers”)
– Rita McNeil – “It’s a Working Man I Am”
– The Tea Party – “Temptation” (Jonathan had “Sister Awake” as next pick;)

[Jeremy’s favourite comedy acts: SETV, Kids in the Hall, Jeff Martin; Jonathan agrees, except Burton Cummings for 3rd pick)
– Our Lady Peace – “Life” (J-Roc samples the song for 1st Trailer Park Boys movie; Jonathan’s love of hybrid words/wordplay)
– Moxy Fruvous – “King of Spain” (Jonathan confuses them with Carmen San Diego house band, Rockapella)
– Spirit of the West – “Home for a Rest” (Lead singer with Alzheimers)

Episode 17
Jonathan’s African Thumb Piano

Massey Hall: Jonathan as J-Roc; Jeremy performing 8-minute drum solo (gig with Jay Baruchel & Matt Good) – Drum solo etiquette

“Sharp Dressed Man Wedding Drummer” video on YouTube (Rick Kay and the Allnighters. Jonathan – “he brought uzi to a kitten fight”; Jeremy – “isn’t that the guy that looks like Mr. Perfect, the wrestler?!”)

Jonathan – “Aren’t drummers kinda like the goalies of the hockey world?”

Phil Collins – Cheesy Disney Shit; overall good drummer; “Take Me Home”

Jeremy reflects on 90s beef with Matt Good

Analysis of the tweet highlighting supposed tension (Jonathan – “I laugh like an 8 year old girl so it doesn’t happen often, but when it happens, it’s great… Like, I cackle like a hyena…”)

Live Tweet questions
– Favourite Winter Activity– Jeremy: tobogganing, “no vertical drops on the sledsie”; Jonathan: tobogganing, outdoor rink pick-up hockey “proud tradition of ‘who gets Albert?’”, big-time myself by renting out 1st Kraft Hockeyville rink for $60/hour

Which sounds better? Torrens & Taggart vs Taggart & Torrens; Kevin/Jill; Tracey/Stewart; Laird/Sasha; Tim/Chrissy; Amanda/Tommy; Kate/Brady; Linda/Larry; Kyle/Mary; Gretta/Barry; Tracey/Tom. “Add the N first: N-Kevin & Amanda”. De-Shawn/Le-Kevin; 2 kids named Easton & Weston. “My son, N-Brent.” Hanque. N-Kelly. (Le-A –>LeDasha). “Y’all Jealous.” Noreen/Nick. Noreen/Norbert. M-Nick/M-N-Kelly. N-Randy. M-NeShawna. (“Tattered & Torn”)

Can70’s Videos Game (Terrible Name Game)
– Anne Murray – “Danny’s Song (Even Though We Ain’t Got Money)”
– The Stampeders – “Wild Eyes” –> (Red Hot Chili Peppers “Can’t Stop”; Jeremy’s Accapella Chili Peppers; Jeremy admits he recorded the TnT theme song. )
– Chilliwack – “Fly at Night”
– Gino Vanelli – “I Just Wanna Stop” (Best chest hair and longest sound checks in Canadian history; Eugene Levy’s skit turning into gorilla–>Schitt’s Creek)
– Triumph – “Lay it on the Line” (J-Roc’s new album name: Escalades & Accolades)
– Trooper – “The Boys in the Bright White Sports Car” (Jeremy – “Holy Boots”; gratuitous piano intro)(Jonathan hates “Oowatanite” – April Wine cover)

Jonathan guest hosting Q with Andy Kim (SoCan mug); 2 months later, CBC security calls and requests to FedEx it back.

“Chad-Vil” divorce. (Avril – “Sea-monkey sized wisp of a thing”)

Jeremy reminisces bout touring with rap acts

Live Tweet questions
– Gary Hogan asks Best Live Concert – Jonathan: Dire Straits, Leona Boyd, Paul Simon, Paco de Lucia; Jeremy: Elvin Jones, Jeff Buckley, Page & Plant, Radiohead

“Keep blockin out the haters!!”

Episode 18
Theme song sing-a-long

Jeremy’s 14 year old “fake-sex” story: “In actuality, I was the worst and had zero game.”

Jonathan shares about his week in Yellowknife and Oilers’ season opener (Barney Bentall; no caribou meat around- “if you’ve ever jammed a caribou burger into your pink mouth , that’ll set you straight real quick”; “dope MCs in the ‘knife”; Oilers team analysis; jersey-throwing fan lost his iPhone – “Screw You Guys! Nooooooo!”)

Toronto Blue Jays update

Leaving a game early to beat the parking

Milan Lucic’s distasteful act. (“Thrown load”; “like a Dr. J skyhook over the glass…coating the folks in imaginary load”)

Oilers Fan from Athabasca felt up Jay Onrait’s sister in high school

Poem Sayin’ 2000s edition
– “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne (“frust-rated” vs “frustrated”)
– “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed (Jonathan: Describe the woman who’s writing a FB post “So psyched for Creed tonight with the girls.” Jeremy: Linda, works at Target, wearing home Avalanche jersey, likes big red screw-off beer can)
– “Drinking in LA” by Bran Van 3000
– “Hot in Here” by Nelly (Nelly hitting on Jenny McCarthy; flying 1st class shirtless; “Maybe it was getting hot in thurrrrr”)
– “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter (1-hit wonders; Dexy’s Midnight Runners – “Come on Eileen”)
– “Beautiful” by James Blunt (James Blunt’s party lifestyle)

Halloween Costumes (Jeremy’s kids – Black Grim Reaper Thing, zombie-ing it up; Jonathan’s kids – fairy, Red Riding Hood; Jonathan wanting kids to go as bag of garbage or compost; Best Costume: Exploding suitcase; Jonathan’s Hearing-impaired costume, Jeremy’s ocean costume, drunk Ronnie’s Frankenstein costume)

Episode 19
Jonathan’s Canadianity lifestyle (“to the bone” – fully embracing quirky Canadian-ness)

Jim Carrey hosting SNL (“landed a segway”; strained presentation/difficult for writers; funny cast not being used; Jonathan’s all-time favourite SNL cast members: Bill Hader & Kristen Wiig; Mark McKinney having pedigree but not cutting it on SNL; eavesdropping Farley, Sandler, Spade, & Chris Rock in a restaurant “no holds barred trying to entertain each other”)

David Spade & Jonathan’s friend on a date: “Big Mama’s House 2” to see trailer for his new movie; “no hammer time, that was it…”

Post “Tom-Kat” wedding: Jim Carrey wanted to “usurp it and make it look stupid” by renting 2 studios at Warner Brothers – Winter Wonderland (ice skating rink, reindeer, In&Out burger truck, actual snow storm, 1800s little people carolling, penguins, etc) & Over the Top money spending. (Morgan Freeman “they are birds, but cannot fly”; Tom, Katie, and Tom’s mom show up – Katie “a full head taller than Tom on skates” Tom skates “amazingly,” swooshes over, gets down, Footloose style and “Mission Impossibled her”, putting jacket under her head. “The party was validated by his very presence.”

Jimmy Fallon – “jumped too soon” into film career from SNL

Dukes of Hazzard co-stars John Schneider and Tom Wopat record Jazzy Christmas album (Jonathan: “It’s just ill conceived and a bad idea”)

David Hasselhoff & 9-11 story (invested $40 mil of his own money on Pay-per-View special in North America which aired on September 11th)

Jeremy gives advice to up-and-coming musicians

Jon Bon Jovi – “Would sell his grandmother for a hit song”; “’member?”

Carrey or Don’t Carrey Game –> Carrey or Not Carrey
– Quotes from Jim Carrey or Carrie Fisher; “jam this in your word holes”; Drew Carey; Carey Price; Mariah Carey; “two happy households is better than 1 unhappy one”; “there’s another one of the sad sackers”; “kinda downer city doing the Carrey thing”

Name a Mariah Carey song Game

Story behind “Awesome”: Jonathan recollects a t-shirt; Jeremy shares about a place in the woods – “Mom, can I go to Awesome?”

Jonathan’s truck rental company: RollingProductionRentals.com; Jeremy: “that is a horny idea and visually logo horny.” Jonathan: “I’m now a trucker who dabbles in tv.”

Getting on iTunes: open up “a whole new world”

Jeremy playing in a cover band with 50 year olds at 15 (kicked out for being too young; “Tell him I’m in Calgary on tour” while in the shower)

Jonathan recollects when he felt the most pressure: Being DJ for 15 year old kids wanting to get it on during slow jams; “Let it Be”; “Put it back to the start!”

Tarzan vine-to-vine of stories

Episode 20
“Jeremy Taggart all night and day” – Jonathan’s rendition of “Unskinny Bop” by Poison

Jian Ghomeshi discussion
– Jonathan – “You have a poo sandwich” – Comparing to kids in lunch room with leftover pizza or fun things. CBC just lost Hockey Night in Canada & Strombo – desperate not to lose Jian. What he brought to CBC must’ve been “so heinous”.
– Jesse Brown smoke-show “I have a big story” = Jian’s Facebook post (so sure “big story” was about him)
– “You’re a Strange Ji-animal”
– Jeremy – “We could be dealing with Canada’s biggest sex offender in it’s history…”
– Jian’s preferences for on-air hosting; unpredictable; respectable workload was “astonishing”; controlling guests if he wasn’t there; culture of protection for Jian
– Jonathan – Jian called in 2000 to discuss “legacy”; recalls “heinous” e-mail interchange between random female Facebook friend and Jian: “A date would be fun, but no monkey business for 6 months….” His response “so, just to be clear, you can’t s— my c— for hours while I l— your p—-.”

Suggestions for new Q host: Jonathan Torrens? Peter Gzowski? Shad? Norm MacDonald? Buck 65? Tom Power? Jann Arden? Wab Kinew? Piya Chattopadhyay? -Jeremy would change the name to “H”

Jonathan’s love of Bill Clinton “Bubba”

Jonathan teases Jeremy for loving “Two & a Half Men”

“Who’s On Mainsbridge” Game (Peter Mainsbridge “voice of reason and soothingness”)

Ford Brother; Geddy Lee; Gordon Lightfoot; Sidney Crosby; Barack Obama (both picked)

Episode 21
AMA Review
– “Make some Noize” Drinking Game – Pitbull; “Jarring & Unsettling to see him without sunglasses”
– Aretha Franklin/Diana Ross called Dick Clark – “Dick Cock”
– “ohh ‘Member?!?” re: Nostalgic pairings (too old to know the new artists)
– No longer performing: production, lip syncing, miming instruments, playing with tracks, etc.

Miniature Ponies’ first gig (Drummer Darcy running late for gig; Mike Clattenburg – director for Trailer Park Boys – filled in for 4-5 songs!)

Jeremy’s grandma “had a thing for Mick Jagger” t-shirt

“Not allowed lendin’”

Adidas Rugby pants (Grey with purple stripes while everyone else had navy ones. “Might as well be an albino pigeon”)

Bully Remorse (Jonathan’s childhood bully Vince – “Hard to look cool with tears in your eyes; sitting in the middle of the backseat; in a headlock”.) Jeremy’s hair pulled so hard it felt good. Jonathan’s Grade 8 bully was sleeping with the teacher, would drive her car (“I’m gonna fulligan kill you”). Jeremy’s bully pounded head against cement wall “like a Roman bully”. Teachers with liquor/dart breath. Jeremy’s teacher snapped and started hitting golf balls through the window.

Jonathan gets put in the A-team basketball game – (Mr. Gannan – “just don’t touch the ball”); Jeremy’s creepy, strange pedophile baseball coach; Jonathan’s first drink of hard liquour was with soccer coach who fabricated a tournament to take group camping

The 1st Annual Greasies (Greasiest spots in Canada)
– “If you hung out at pool hall, under 15, you were smoking darts”
– The Dome in Halifax: “Perfect Storm of bad ideas”; “It’s a Dry Humperie of Epic Proportions”; “It’s a place where people go to fight and make love – sometimes with the same person”
– The Brunswick House: Jetson’s drunk dancing in cowboy boots to Pearl Jam; kicking over pizza signs; throwing garbage cans; young Mr. Miogi look-a-like stretching, prepping to run
– Lord Nelson Beverage Room: Jonathan barfed into the tub on Christmas Eve after sister took him to out at 15 to get banged up on Draft (Homemade pizza)
– Banff Grizzy House: Bear Fondue 60s Swingers club.

Jeremy’s late-night coffee – “Taggart & Torrens in the evening”

Greaseball 3-Quote Game
– Arnold Schwarzenegger
– Milan Lucic
– O.J. Simpson
– R. Kelly
– Honourable Mentions: Charlie Sheen, Joe Francis, Bill Cosby – Canadian Greaseball: Jian Ghomeshi

“He Shoots, He’s Pissed” – Jonathan as a high-voiced, monotoned, angry Franglais hockey coach with Jeremy as the stick-boy that lives at the rink

Episode 22
Jonathan’s beef with “Right On!”
– RollingTruckRentals.com: Quote for truck repairs was doubled! – “Right on!”
– @ Registry to get plates for truck: Woman unable to help him further – “Right on!”
– Truck won’t start, power died: “Right on!”
– “It’s an epidemic! 3 times in one day!”; “He put on his Teflon nothing sticks ears and right-on’d his way out of it!”; “NO! No part of this is right on!!”

Jeremy’s late night of “Death from Above 1979” documentary; “epic night of laughs”

Jeremy’s update regarding his transition out of Our Lady Peace; “enjoyment of the possibilities of anything”

Breaking News: Taggart & Torrens hitting airways – TSN1050 on Dec 29/30, 2014

Importance of being open to new opportunities; “waiting for the phone to knock”

Gold Isuzu Trooper guy getting shot by drunk hunters; Wheels’ Dad owned one

“Is it Hawking Talking?” Game
– [Stephen Hawking’s concerns towards Artificial Intelligence – “nerd waves”; “Are the computer heads gonna wanna pound?”]
– Actual quotes from Stephen Hawking or Jeremy’s made up statements
– “somethin you can succeed at” – Hawking has east coast accent?!
– “We need to make this a board game!”

How-to-do Christmas with kids
– Jeremy’s daughter has to have a yo-yo; sons range from computers, video game stuff, “trashes”
– Jonathan’s kids have to give away toys in order to make room for new ones

Entitled Kids
– Up to parents to engage with kids along with the stuff; kids want attention and to just hang out with parents
– Jonathan recollects working on “The Kids in Charge” tv show
– Jonathan’s daughter watching Play-Doh & Kinder Surprise YouTube videos
– Jeremy’s kids watching the Minecraft YouTube walk-through videos; “blocking out the haters”
– Jonathan’s idea to post videos of reading books, one page at a time. “Hey guys! My name is Daryll. It’s called “to Kill a Mockingbird.”

25 year anniversary of StreetCents – a similar show is needed today “it’s fit for the pit”

Mike Clattenburg (StreetCents & Trailer Park Boys) playing pranks
– First cheque written to Rob Wells (Ricky on TPB) “re: sucking 8 penises” but crossed 8 out and put 9 in red marker
– Jonathan’s house broken into; female RCMP officer found a card from Rob Wells, Jean Paul, & Mike Clattenburg “We’d like to thank you for… sucking our C’s” with penises drawn everywhere
– Penis drawings on post-it notes hidden everywhere, food labels, etc
– Jonathan’s friend Matt gave him a box to take as a “carry on” – filled with ridiculous contents “is this your box?” –> Jonathan found heinous magazines and labelled them “please call me, these are collector’s items” and left them behind in a hotel

Jonathan is “a mess” when putting up Christmas Tree like his dad; Jeremy put up his real “wide, leaner tree”, the tree fell “right in front of me” at 2:30-3am; tree: “Hey Bahd! I’m banged up.” Jonathan recollects “Little Drummer Boy” story of humiliation.

“Your mouth to God’s ear…”

Episode 23
“Christmas Spec-tagg-ular” & “Torrens-tial Amount of Gifts”

Products of Environment: Jonathan’s dad hated putting up the tree

Stand Technology: Wide base/girth, 3-banger vs 4-banger, “triangle screw technology doesn’t work”, “tree stand has to have a wide stance”

Willie Nelson’s favourite joke = worst joke in the world (Woman getting stung by a bee)

Worst Gifts: Jonathan – bag of tiny hotel soaps; Twitter follower: one windshield wiper, 2L pop bottle bird feeder; Strawberry Shortcake doll; $1 Giant Tiger gift card; loaf of bread & 2 rolls shellacked, turned into candle holder; LCBO gift certificate; earrings & Backstreet Boys magnet to 23 year old guy; weight loss book & salmon orange dollar store MC Hammer pants; Pot of Gold chocolates with middle missing; assortment of meat seasonings; gravy boat;

Reactions to bad gift giving; Jonathan giving “racist paraphernalia”

Gift Gap: Established terms of gift giving (ie: Ornament exchange turned into Armani gift giving)

Jonathan’s family trip to Nashville to see Emmylou Harris

Jeremy clarifies the 3-banger vs 4-banger tree stand situation; Jonathan bought his stand from Canadian Tire, wearing Sorel boots, with Bryan Adams’ “I Need Somebody” playing #Canadianity moment (Bryan Adams Reckless Flu – BARF; Desert Island Bryan Adams’ jam – Jeremy refuses “Whatevs Salad”)

Holiday Hum-Off Game (inception of developing characters before songs)
– Feliz Navidad or We Wish You a Merry Christmas – (creep in elevator, with sunglasses, with porn)
– (Guy scraping snow off windshield) – The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
– (Single man going into Target just cause it’s open) – Jingle Bell Rock
– (Accountant, wearing fedora/scarf/trench coat, waves car through at crosswalk, not in a hurry; “Why is humming so hard?”) – It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas/Winter Wonderland
– (Unhappy guy working his 11th hour, gonna be late, is a little concerned) – Ruldolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
– (Trent basting the turkey cause Nancy can’t handle it) – Good King Wenceslas
– (Ski-lift guy just got a girl’s number – Larry) – Have a Holly Jolly Christmas
– (Elderly woman worrying about her guest travelling in snowstorm) – First Noel
– (Young man alone in his room, jamming, trying to find himself) – The Little Drummer Boy
– (Post-midnight mass priest, getting into his flannel jammies) – I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Family traditions: Jeremy: open 1 gift on 24th, sticking fingers into gifts, searching in closets, etc; Jonathan: had to wait for mom to put on lipstick, opening one gift at a time, Nutcracker playing, spiced doughnuts

Allan Doyle biography – reflecting on stuffing food down, otherwise someone else would eat it; poor family warming themselves together with the oven for heat

Christmas > New Year’s Eve

B4-4: Orange, spiky haired troll dolls, “Weren’t they Chippendale’s dancers?” ; “Whatever happened to the Moffatts?”

Trailer Park Boys popularity – Bands & Sports Teams passed around dvds; US audiences didn’t know if it was a Documentary vs Mockumentary; TPB touring with Our Lady Peace

Aspirations to get TNT on iTunes; possibility of a podcast tour

“Do you think Wheels’ dad will come by for Christmas?”

Episode 24
iTunes debut – #1 Comedy Podcast

Jonathan’s ominous neighbour – “It’s a nice day outside” –> “Yeah… too nice!”; “He’s like the Lennon to the world’s McCartney”; “You got your tractor fixed, Harold?” “yeah, but one trip up and the field and that thing could be bitched.”

“Bitched” = Something being broken

Jonathan – “What the clam?!”

Leafs Update: Carlyle fired; classic band-aid solution; Kessel – “2 weeks on, 2 weeks off”

Word Juniors Update: CAN vs RUS; Essence of Canadianity = Curtis Lazar smiling on the ice; Darnell Nurse – “Silver Lining on a Dark Cloud”

BAHD of the Week: [Jeremy: Canadian World Junior Team; Jonathan: Darthregus from Calgary matches $300 bid for Halifax Co-Op]

Jeremy explains CD vs MP3 sound quality. (mastered according to Suzanne Vega song)

Jonathan discusses his “Off the Record” reputation that’s followed him; “like a mosquito in my ear”

TnT Movie Suggestions:
– [Actors] Mark Paul Gosselaar & Dustin Diamond; Ellen Degeneres & Antonio Banderas; Marshall Mathers & Jared Leto; Said the Whale’s Drummer for Jeremy; Christian & Edge; Go West band members; “Jonah” from Danger Bay & “Mike” from Hangin’ In; Matt Damon & Ben Affleck; “Burt & Ralph” from the Raccoons; Jack Nicholson & Johnny Depp; John Tavares; Jeremy’s pick = Bill Hader for himself & Joel McHale for Jonathan; Jonathan’s pick = Ross Hull for Jeremy & twins from the band Bros or B4-4 band for himself; Jim Carrey & young Robert Redford; Gerry Dee & Fabio
– [Plotline & Supporting Cast] Fred from Corner Gas as TnT Manager; Ellen Page as “tiny villain”; travelling from east coast to Tofino; Jay & Dan as Keystone Cops; Mike Smith as elderly waitress woman; Brent Sutter takes them to farm-house to drink moonshine; only 36 hours to make the trip in a Dodge Dart; Russell DeCarle from Prairie Oyster as Jonathan’s dad; Rex Murphy as Jeremy’s dad
– [Soundtrack] “Sunny Days” by Lighthouse, “Bad Boys” by Haywire, “Lay it on the Line” by Triumph, “Can’t Stop” by Jacksoul, “Sweet City Woman” by The Stampeders, “Too Hot” by Alanis Morissette, “It Ain’t Enough” by Corey Hart, “Tonight’s the Night” by Neil Young, “If Venice is Sinking” by Spirit of the West
– Sutter: “No, you guys aren’t gettin’ outta here with this snow tonight. You might as well bunk down in the barn. Take a pull on that and tell me it ain’t Christmas! Suck that down with your pink mouth and relax! You’re not gettin’ anywhere in this storm!”
– Taggart & Torrens: The Movie – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVsw9pvrGQQ

TSN FTW – Shout outs to Gord Miller, Ray Ferraro, James Duthie, Bob McKenzie

Episode 25
Reflecting on the 25th episode anniversary: B-A-H-D “taking over the world”; “Canadianity as a movement is taking over and it’s great”

T-Shirt budget & 12-shirt breakdown.

Canadianity Definitions: snow; paying for guy behind you at Tim Hortons; sorry; being nice; helping people around you; shovelling elderly neighbour’s walk; “sorry, bahd, they didn’t have any Canadian Maple, so I got you a box of Timbits;” when your beer-league goalie shows up 5 min before you hit the ice. –> Winning submission slips drawn out of a toque (like Sunday afternoon at the Bingo Parlour; grandmas hacking darts; “8 cards going with multiple dabbers going with a dart in their mouth – THAT’s skill”) Winner: Jeff Brown. “Let’s read some more responses… want to?” Terry Fox; back bacon, bag of ketchup chips, Moosehead beer, & beavertail for dessert; Nickelback; John Candy; “Cold out there, eh? At least there’s no mosquitoes!” “given the circumstances;” battling each other for niceness; bringing sleds to the school for kids at pick-up time… Winner: Moose Bertleson (TNT-Tees)

Canadianity Stories: Jeremy – Taking mushrooms in White Rock; Jonathan – Bagpiper playing while a brawl outside Charlottetown bar; Being atop of Northwest Territories mountain, drunk on whisky, with Rick Mercer, seeing a muskox; Writing for Junos (David Suzuki and Gordon Lightfoot introducing Bruce Cockburn).

Bahds of the Week: Jonathan- Matt (brought brew to the neighbourhood shimmy game) or (honourable mention to Bruce who oversees the neighbourhood rink; Jeremy- Tim Oxford from the Arkells (helps post TNT episodes)

Jeremy’s Cold Winter Classic Jams
– “Coldest Night of the Year” by Bruce Cockburn
– (Jonathan suggests the idea of a weekly Taggart’s Top 5 jams)
– “Acadian Driftwood” by The Band
– Jonathan requested: “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Meaghan Smith & Buck 65

Jonathan recalls being given expensive Bauer skates; apologizing for his skating ability

Jonathan serenades Jeremy with “Littlest Hobo” song: “Maybe Tomorrow” by Terry Bush

Jeremy mentions being in the “Hey Jude” video, next to Ringo.

Jeremy’s most banged up story: 28th birthday @ Juno’s; (discusses allergy to alcohol & migraine headaches); really hammered, gave person a hug, tried to pull off fake hair… “What are you doing? — You know what I’m doing.” (Jonathan: “You tried to smoke him out.”)

Jonathan @ Gemini awards: Congratulates man’s wife on being pregnant – not pregnant.

“You Don’t Remember Me, Do You?” – is the worst!

Dustin Diamond going to jail for stabbing on Jesus’ birthday. (Dust-in-the-Wind)

Discussion on employment opportunities and longevity in the business. Jonathan – “Unless I have a moral opposition to something, I do it”

“Your mouth to God’s ear, Jeremy Taggart!”

Earth-shattering news: Target pulled out of Canada like… “Ronnie just burst in the room” “Harper pulled out of Kyoto” “Justin Bieber’s father should have” “The Leafs out of playoff contention” “Shaun White in Olympics” “Dump snake from Ricky’s bird” “Will Smith should have before Jaden was conceived” “BiWay out of the dictionary”

Looking through catalogues (Consumers Distributors, Canadian Tire)

Jonathan buying high school girlfriend 2 feet of chain that turned her neck green; dumped shortly thereafter–> Discussing negotiation and middle-men in adolescent relationships. “Wanna pound? Lol?” “You can LOL yourself out of anything.”

Discussion of porn and its effect on monogamous relationships. (Jonathan’s analogy of the all-you-can-eat buffet; Jeremy’s viewing of porn in the barn; Eatons/Sears swimsuit catalogue pages; Jeremy didn’t get “the talk” but got caught having a yank at 14)

Jeremy shares Ronnie’s experience growing up in strict Catholic upbringing

Jonathan recalls his e-mail gaff, where his manager sent out – “Wah, wah, my pussy hurts. I don’t want to be a fucking panellist.” as “reply” to Jonathan rather than “forward” to his assistant. Discussion on how to keep from impulsively sending things. (Jonathan: Type a draft, sit on it for 24 hours, then send if you still feel the same way)

Jonathan requests Top 5 Snowbird (Summertime/Wintertime) Jams for next episode

Episode 26
Jonathan travelling to “sunnier climbs” aka Florida with the family; Jeremy contemplating a trip to Cali during March break to “Universally -Disneyworld-esque experience”

Jonathan recalls flying to England at 6, wearing a “Humiliating bib that said UM – Unaccompanied Minor-which might as well have been like perv-alert, right?… Hey pervs, this child is solo!”; Jeremy recalls Taggart Family trips – James having heat stroke while camping “punching at bugs attacking him… he was having like hallucinations in his tent.”

Jonathan’s dad having “Ronnie-style” outbursts when felt hard-done by – leaving groceries behind if boxes weren’t available; taking bullies in his car to principal’s office.

Jeremy’s mom cheering him on while fighting bullies. “Get’em Jere, Come on!”

Liar Friends: Far-fetched storytelling (Grandma taught him how to box/protect himself, fends off bullies, comes home, nanny is dead); “The TSN Turning Point”, “no possible truth-ville”; Jeremy’s white classmate who was cousins with Michael Jackson –> “Whatev Salad!”

Right to Ditch – RTD: Jonathan’s top friend quality; Jeremy – “Can we do that thing, like you promised?”

Basement Drills – “Lights out, everyone in the basement”; Taggart’s woodshop teacher coming to his house every week wanting $2.

Woodshop Class – teachers warning the students, “Fire it up”, making num-chuks and picking up girlfriends.

Jonathan’s Walrus magazine awards dinner/auction. Unintentionally offered $3500 to take Margaret Atwood to lunch. “My big mouth got me in big trouble… Idiot Tax!”

Jonathan is worked over by guy requesting $20, gives him $80.

Canadian Kids Shows: [YouTube Playlist]
– Poka-Dot Door [Pokaroo]
– The Friendly Giant [“Never has the pan-flute so captivated an entire generation”; Jeremy’s dad’s drum teacher played music for the show]
– The Silver Basketball [“Take kids into a hut and make up exercises as we go”]
– Under the Umbrella Tree; ShantyTown; The Forest Rangers; Great Space Coaster
– Big Comfy Couch [Clown-Girl got banged up, doing the clock dance]
– Fred Penner’s Place
– Harrigan [Irish-Canadian kids show; “Champ is here today with his guitar!” mail-lady on a unicycle; Freestylin’ Clarinet]
– Popular Mechanics for Kids [“Starred a young Canadian host who would go on to be a quite a successful actor in the united states of America. She’s now wife to a certain hockey playing pylon that Toronto fans love to dislike.”– The Girl Next Door, Love Actually]

“You won’t believe what America’s like, yeah?” … “Thanks!”… “You gotta accept me as I am.” “How’s it going in America, Harold? — Oh Auntie, you won’t believe it!” “Feck off!” Discussion of Elisha Cuthbert turns into the Who having a fight. –> The Most Sarcastic Thanks. “I really like the song you just released… — Oh, Thhhhihhhannkkkkkkksssss.”

Mr. Dressup theme song [The Greatest Canadian Kids Show – Ernie Coombs;

Jeremy: “Give yourself a pat on the back” — Jonathan: “If only my arms were that long.”]

Bahd of the Week: Daniel MacDonald who created TNT Movie Trailer

Jeremy’s best friend, Alex O’Reilly, can’t yell.

Jeremy’s Top 5 Canadians Down South Jams [YouTube Playlist]
(Jonathan sings 1-866-WOW-DEAL; Basic impromptu scenarios started)
– “Steal My Sunshine” by Len (Jeremy hung out at singer’s chalet in Kelowna)
– “You Could Have Been A Lady” by April Wine
– “One Fine Morning” by Lighthouse
– “Wave Babies” by Honeymoon Suite
– “Patio Lanterns” by Kim Mitchell (“You guys plough!”)

Robert Plant & Alanna Myles

Jonathan assigns “Top 5 Stick it to the Man” jams (“You know what, Corby? I’ve been working in this stink hole for 2 years now listening to you tell me that I suck day in and day out… I’m done!” –> Turn Me Loose!)

Phat Bacc – Love song about a shapely Posterior; rapper asks random patron at mini golf place to be in the music video, they end up dating [Video]

Jeremy discusses current Canadian music, distaste towards spinning stick drummers

Jonathan – “Where the cheese is, that’s you’ll be apt to find me, bahd”

Sweet & Sour, Chocolate & Peanut Butter, Sugar & Spice, Horton’s Double-Double & a Maple Cream.

Intention to dedicate Episode 27 to Dave Semeko & NHL’s Greatest Goons. “Goon-a-bration. Goon but not

Episode 27
Jonathan recording from “sunny climbs” in Florida

Torrens’ household Slairs; 5 coats of industrial anti-slip; “If you’re wearing burlap shorts, you’re probably okay, but if you’re wearing silk pajamas, you might go through a log wall” – fighters must wear oven mitts.

TTV – Time to Vocal; “Hitting the Post” game explanation and introductions
– Jonathan: The Wolf in Bracebridge, afternoon drive: “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi
– Jeremy: 99.4 The COQK in Red Deer, morning show: “Secret Lovers” by Atlantic Starr [Jonathan cackle laugh – the angry rooster that’s the logo for COQK]
– Jonathan: 88.5 The Imp in Pinawa, MB, overnight show: “The Final Countdown” by Europe [Jeremy “I’m gonna give you different call letters because I want to keep the COQK for myself” – Jonathan “Sure you do!” – 1:27 TTV – Serious tap-dancing]
– Jeremy: The COQK – Red Deer’s Only Rock Station – “You wanna rock the COQK?”: “Unskinny Bop” by Poison [“Hello! You’re on the COQK!”]
– Jonathan: 86.5 The Dam in Lethbridge, AB – mid-morning shift: “Do You Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart [“We’re not exactly Sid-the-Kid here.”]
– Jeremy: 101.9 The Bird on Gabriola Island, Saturday WayBack PlayBack: “When it’s Love” by Van Halen [Jonathan cackle laugh]

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Stickin’ it to the Man” jams
– “Enough is Enough” by April Wine
– “Carry Me” by The Stampeders (Workin at Baskin Robins – movin on)
– “Day by Day” by Doug & the Slugs (Margaret & Keith job interaction) [Jono’s rowboat called “MYOTT” – handmade rowboat story with guy that doesn’t get back to him, Carol surprises him with Father’s Day gift]
– “Doesn’t Really Matter” by Platinum Blonde (leaving job at record store; listening on ipod on the bus) [Cory Hart in the vocals a bit; “Tears are Not Enough” – Greatest 90 minutes of Canadianity; Suge Knight going to jail… drinking lattes/eating scones?]
– “Hasn’t Hit Me Yet” by Blue Rodeo (throwing hot coffee in boss’ face, hits you 1 month later) [“I feel like you really rounded the bases, emotionally”

Jonathan assigns “Dressing Room, Pump-Up” jams

Goon But Not Forgotten. (Dedication over Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You”). Honourable Mentions: Tie Domi, Dave Semenko, Tiger Williams (pulled Jeremy’s hair in the Juno Cup), Bob Probert, George Laraque, Matthew Barnaby, Ron Hextall, Ray Emery, Ian Laperrier, Mike Rupp, George Parros (Jeremy – “mustache-o smart man, serious school action”), Marty McSorely, Donald Brashear, Chris Neil, Chris Nilan.

Hockey Wives tv show. Jonathan – “Is that something you’ll watch with your eyes?”

Bahd of the Week: Mike MacFarlane for creating the TnT website: www.taggartntorrens.ca

Greasies Stickers for the windows of restaurants

Discussion about favourite TnT games

SpunOut TV show (allegations towards one of the actors & show gets pulled; Lost Prophets pedophile; Social quicksand)

Episode 28
Jonathan in Montreal working on YTV’s Game On show

Jonathan’s room service mix-up; calls after 70 minutes – apologizing; the guy chuckles “I forgot to get your room number” – the new “right on”; Jeremy reports that his food arrives too quickly

Jeremy discusses life on the road – hotel rooms, killing time, boring cities, looking for escape, etc.

Jonathan watches Nacho Libre 3 times in 2 weeks

Jeremy discusses house cleaning -“fire the vacuum around”; Jermaine Jackson loving vacuuming (train wreck reality tv show); “The Taggarts” – reality tv show with Jeremy’s parents.

Twitter Follower Questions:
– Celebrity co-host: Jonathan – John Candy; Jeremy – Jay &/or Dan
– Fave Canadian Bands/Artist: Jonathan – Gordon Lightfoot; Jeremy – The Band, The Guess Who, Blue Rodeo, Tragically Hip, Hey Rosetta, Wintersleep (Jonathan suggests B4-4 & The Moffatts)
– Jonathan tells Joe Schmo story
– Leafs vs Oilers game (Taggart vs Torrens; Toilet Bowl; Jack-Off – Eichel’s “sick flo, blah”)
– Thoughts Dini Petty? Discuss Canadian talk show hosts
– Taggart on Trailer Park Boys: Jeremy’s open to be a “really good creepy guy friend of Randy”; Jeremy discusses partying with Pat Roach (Jonathan’s mic begins to echo)
– Jeremy’s Wikipedia picture: Jeremy defends himself wearing the NY hat; discusses Red Sox owner being wheeled around/banged up at a wedding

Hit the Post Game (Round 2)
– Jonathan: 104.4 The Woodpecker in Grand Prairie: “All We Are” by Kim Mitchell
– Jeremy: 101.7 The Wolf in Riviere-du-Loup: “Eyes of a Stranger” by Payolas
– Jonathan: 92.7 The Puffin in Point Pelee: “Turn Me Loose” by Loverboy [Hail Mary with the website and phone number]
– Jeremy: 88.9 The Falcon in St. Johns, NB: “Waterfalls” by TLC [“one of them’s not with us anymore” – Jeremy & Jonathan cackle laugh]
– Jonathan: 87.7 The Garter Snake in Airdrie: “GhostBusters Theme” by Ray Parker Jr. [“Garter Snakers…”]
– Jeremy: 107.5 The Otter in Regina: “Curious” by Sandbox [“How’s your otter?”]
– Jonathan: 107.7 The Loon in Selkirk: “Echo Beach” by Martha & The Muffins [“nailed it like Sidney Crosby” – tap dancing]
– Jeremy: 102.4 The Raven in Sudbury: “Sweetest Taboo” by Sade [“Sardeh, Sharday, Sade?… That was ridiculous!”]
– Jonathan: 101.1 The Skunk in Cornwall: “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle [“Let the wind blow the stink off of you…pound a couple frosty soldiers and get real…”]
– Jeremy: 92.5 The Gopher in Kamloops: “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve [Jeremy gives the overview of how The Verve samples the Rolling Stones]

Bahd of the Week: Jeremy – his good friend Brad Lang; (Jeremy gave his shirt to Brad; ordered 2 dozen more shirts; talk of TNT buttons; curiosity towards potential sponsors) Jonathan – Mike Stevens (bluegrass harmonica player who donates 50% of his proceeds to kids across Canada; instrument lending libraries, etc. “Maybe my bahd of a lifetime!” ArtsCircle Canada Website)

Twitter Questions (continued)
– What would Franglais hockey coach say about Leafs vs Oilers game? (“We lost 1-5; I’ll have one hot dogs and two ketchup; two left and one rights” Tim Oxford loves the Franglais)
– Jonathan: “On 88.9 The Falcon, St. Johns’ only choice for rock… We Falcon rock. You’ve gotta be Falcon kidding. It’s 88.9!” – Jonathan wants t-shirts with fake rock stations.

Episode 29
Jonathan in Phoenix; Jeremy in -29 Toronto. “Sweet America… I think everyone’s getting donkey-fisted by this winter.”

Jeremy – “Yikers Island”

Jeremy’s Top 5 Locker Room Jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “Rock You” by Helix
– “The Kid is Hot Tonite” by Loverboy (“Anybody got any tape? Where’s my cup, bahd? She runneth over, bahd”; Jonathan’s father-in-law’s story of a 14 year old pounding a pint of the Captain; Jonathan – “I’m all fired up I want to punch myself in the face.”)
– “No Time” by The Guess Who (“Canadianity in the soul… couple of teeth on the floor…”)
– “Metal on Metal” by Anvil (Jeremy – “a bunch of bangers just ready to get into it!”)
– “Bruce Lee” by Indian Handcrafts
– Bonus Track: Jonathan’s pick – “Big Leagues” by Tom Cochrane

Jonathan assigns Top 5 Canadianity Post-Break up Jams for next week (“It’s over, eh?”)

Bahd of the Week: Tim Thompson (@b0undless) – Hockey Night in Canada Music Montage maker; discussion of 2 dozen TNT shirts hot off the press

Breaking TNT News: 12-1pm filling in for Mike Bullard on Newstalk1010

Anti-Skype conversation

50/50 Shots Game (Maple Syrup Shot after True/False questions; must say Canadian word– “What the clam are we doing?”)
– Jeremy – “Tom Cochrane” (Jonathan cackle laugh)
– Jonathan – “Bruno Gerussi” (Jonathan & Jeremy cackle laugh) “Surprised with the after-burn.”
– Jeremy – “Saskatoon” (Jonathan – “It’s like your teeth are wearing little sweater vests”)
– Jonathan – “Mike Reno” (Jeremy – “My daughter’s crying downstairs, and I’m crying inside…”)
– Jeremy – “The Canadian Canoe Museum” (Jeremy – “I might puke today, bahd!”… “What are you doing to me” feeling)
– [Jonathan dodging bullets “matrix style”]
– Jeremy – “Pass me a beer, bahd!” (“This is getting to the point where I’m not happy anymore…”)
– [Jeremy yells “You’re killing me!”]
– Jonathan – (“What do I have to say when it’s in my open word-hole?”) “I love beavers.” (Jeremy’s 1st syrup belch, thick burps)
– Jeremy – “Jann Arden & Drew Doughty” (Jeremy reports turning into Gollum)
– Jonathan – “Whiskey Dick” ( Jonathan – “My teeth are so pissed off at me right now…”)
– [Jonathan has the syrup shakes… and syrup sweats]
– Jeremy – (“Pound a shot you dirty street walker”) “Double Double” (Jeremy has the shakes and the “I want my Mommies”)
– Jonathan – (“My little saliva zamboni is workin overtime.”) “Johnny LaRue” (“Holy cat-fish!”)

Jonathan recalls buying Ketchup chips at the ice rink; Jeremy mentions “piping hot” hot chocolate, soup, hot dog, & some chips.

Discussions on bed-wetting (Jonathan’s sleep-over story @ age 8)–> Parenting was more severe back there. Jeremy – “I’m loud but not ragey.”

“Bahd” lightens the blow when delivering bad news

Jonathan enters father-in-law into contests in the mall. “It’s a ticking time bomb.” Garage Sale today sign at bottom of in-law’s driveway; Canton Cafe Eggrolls prank

“Let’s not play that game ever again, want to?”

Discussion of a “best of” games episode

Canadian winter = -40 with windchill; Jonathan – “Yikers Island!”

Episode 30
“Holy Catfish!… 30th episode spectacular! Happy bahd-iversary, bahd!”

Winter storm discussions – “It’s bananas!”; Carol pulling girls on a sled

Appreciation for being home with their families and kids; Jeremy’s 4yr old: “Why do you have to pick me up today?”; Jonathan’s 5yr old referring to the guy with no shirt on mowing the lawn (must be wearing knee-length, frayed, Denver Hayes jean shorts and Reebok pumps)

“Shirts-Off Party” – Hockey player thing, not bowlers. Jeremy recollects road trip in Montana. Jonathan – “I have a really long thorax and short legs… I’m disproportionate…”

Bahd of the week: Chris Bailey (@wigglechicken) broken ankle stranded in Ireland.

Jeremy recalls Daniel Carcillo’s mandatory “shirts-off party”; topless drumming; recent high-end Christmas party; Jonathan has a shirts-off party with himself before bed… “No one who’s doughy is gonna suggest a shirts-off party.” Jonathan prefers eating treats vs shirts-off parties

Importance of breakfast discussion; healthy lifestyle choices

Jeremy loves “Better Call Saul” & reveals his love for Chicago Mix – “I will crush that fucking shit like a crackhead! Gotta put the bag away and say ‘get the fuck off!’ That stuff just gets me. Caloric intake, heavy!” (Jonathan happiest while heavier)

Jeremy’s Top 5 Canadianity Break-Up Jams [YouTube Playlist]
(Sitting on couch in pajama jeans…)
– “Early Morning Rain” by Gordon Lightfoot (Working as chimney sweep, you’re dirty and your wife can’t deal with that part of your life, but it’s good money. “You are dust!” – Jonathan sings along – East coaster and Tammy who “gave me the ol heave-ho. Tired of me workin’ nights!…Eatin’ Cap’n Crunch!”) – Cape Breton phrase: “anadeh” [Jonathan’s St. John’s Air Canada bad weather flight: “We’re gonna take a run at it”]
– “Stand Tall” by Burton Cummings [Jonathan reveals his love for the Bachelor] (Popular person who doesn’t know heartache. -Jeremy slowly speaks lyrics aloud – Discuss how’d they’d film music video for this song. [Jonathan asks the last time Jeremy cried] Jeremy – “…silly human pride… Jesus Christ, Burton, you had some lyrics. Wowzers! Holy Boats!” [Jonathan asks about Jeremy’s crying a 2nd time. Jeremy “cries all the time”]
– “It Makes No Difference” by The Band (You’re with a person you’ve loved for years, but they’ve changed… “Heartbreak, for reals!”… Important to sit in the grief and deal with it before you move on.)
– “Thinking of You” by Harlequin (Fondly remembering an old relationship. Dennis eating at Swiss Chalet; Amber, the waitress, gives free carrot cake. “She may be the rope that pulls him to safety… He’s in Bummed-Out Harbour, bahd! Amber’s gonna pull him to Promise of the Future Harbour”)
– “My Girl” by Chilliwack (Jonathan sings along. Jeremy plays reverse hit-the-post with 101.1 The Bird.)

Jonathan assigns Top 5 Canadianity “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” Gettin Busy Jams

Eh Lister Game – Famous Canadian voice clips
– Lesley Neilsen (whoopie cushion on Letterman; real life problem with flatulance?)
– Dick Irvin (Hockey Night in Canada announcer)
– Wayne Gretzky
– Norm Macdonald
– Martin Short
– Wayne Rostad (On the Road Again host)
– Louis del Grande (Listerine commercial; Jonathan has “Seeing Things” bible script)
– “right in the pocket” (Friday night dance show on Much Music) – Monika Deol
– Bruno Gerussi
– Jim Perry (Host of Definition)

Twain or Twin Game (Shania Twain impersonator – only live performances)
– Twin – “You’re twong, bahd!”
– Twain – “You’re tight!”
– Twin – “Twong! That’s Twain!” – “Play this game at your shirt-off party and see what happens!”
– Twin – “Well done, bahd!”

Discussion on cover bands (Pink Floyd cover band playing arenas); “What happens when the Twain leaves the station?”; ViaRail (ViaWhale) should have Shania Twin & Twain play. “Whose bunk have your boots been under?”; have 2 cover acts ever hooked up?

Naming Cover Bands Game: Alannah Myles (Black Velvet); Nickelback (This is how you remind me); Tryin’ Adams. Jonathan – “That’s my shirts-off party! So nichy but it’s where I live!”

Jeremy tells hotel atrium story at music convention – guy having a yank, with drapes open. Thousands of people below viewing him through glass atrium, laughing at him jerkin’ off. Crowd cheered when he ejaculated. “It was on the fucking news!” Suggestions of who could it be: Jean Cretien, Steve Fonyo, Paul Gross, Norm Perry. (Jonathan and Jeremy cackle laugh)

Episode 31
Rationale for doing the TnT Podcast: Home for nostalgic Canadianity

Jonathan’s mic troubles: Directional & Omnidirectional; iPhone 4 notification challenges

Jeremy reflects on 2 best things of being a famous musician: technician to set-up/tear down drums; moving from van to tour bus

Tour Bus/Jet Rules: No Number 2; DMB Chicago grated bridge dump on scenery boat

Invitation to send updates, stories, and pictures: taggartandtorrens@gmail.com

Bahds of the week: Tom (@ClusterHeadTom) – Cluster Migraine Headaches; Bahd License Plate in Nova Scotia (@DegaustKirk)

Jeremy’s Top 5 Log Driver Jams (description of how they came to this topic – Essentially road trip or “floating down the river” jams; “Log Jams”) [YouTube Playlist]
– (“burlin down” – just “rippin”; Jonathan shares intrigue with burl)
– “Let it Ride” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
– “Here For a Good Time, Not a Long Time” by Trooper (Jonathan critiques the song – “Every now and then it’s gonna rain” – “distill it down into a reduction sauce”)
– “Tshinanu” by Kashtin (Sobey’s bag full of popcorn chasing the log down the rapids)
– “Turn the Lights On” by Big Sugar (Jonathan – “What are you listening to these tunes on?!”… “Log-driver sounds like code for something else, bahd!” “I’m gonna start dropping burlin’ the verb into every day conversations.” Jeremy – Beats by Dre headphones)
– “Down by the River” by Neil Young & Crazy Horse(“QUIT YOUR BURLIN!” greasy guy burlin in inner tube with jean shorts)

Jonathan assigns Top 5 “Fuck it, I’m Gettin’ up” Jams (Rump Shakers for Non Dancers) Jonathan – “Holy Frig Amanda, Keith’s on the dance floor. Come getta load of this!”

Poem Sayin’ Game – (verbal paper-scissors-rock to decide who goes first)
– Jeremy – “Good Mother” by Jann Arden (Jonathan: “read it like you mean it, bahd!”; Jeremy & Jonathan cackle laugh; “I need something real punchy for this lyric… Well, why don’t you take the lord’s name in vain, Jann? That usualy does it!”)
– Jonathan – “I Hate My Life” by Theory of a Deadman (Jeremy – “Mad at your dad, jam!” Cape Breton Styles; Jeremy cackle laugh; Jonathan – “That is NOT a good song.” Comparison to terrible grade 8 poetry)
– Jeremy – “Can’t We Try” by Dan Hill (East coast accent; Jeremy & Jonathan cackle laugh; “Captain Highliner reading love poems”)
– Jonathan – “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion (Jonathan – “Give me one more and I’ll do it as the French-Canadian hockey coach”; Slips into Mario Lopez’s mom)
– Jeremy – “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle (As Clint Eastwood clenched teeth guy; Jonathan cackle laugh; greasy and creepy – “Hannibal Lector quality”)

Best of Hit the Post on Newstalk1010 with Jim Richards – YouTube Playlist
(“Your mouth to God’s ear, Jeremy Taggart!”)
– Jeremy: 98.4 the Cockroach in Victoria: “Nova Heart” by The Spoons
– Jim: 101.4 the Mole in Lloydminster: “Wild Horses” by Gino Vinelli
– Jonathan: 101.9 the Rascal in Red Deer: “Baby Ran” by 54-40 (lost cat) – Jeremy: 102.7 the Marmot in Fogo Island: “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits (With Sting on background vocals)

Episode 32
Jeremy burling around in the warm air; discussing spring weather

“Canadianity is a sausage party” – Bahd of the Week: @livil for highlighting the importance of women to Canadianty–>Caladyianity –> “A bahd is a bahd is a bahd”

Women that best exemplifies Canadianity. Jeremy: His mom & Catherine O’Hara; (Jonathan shares Mr. D actors getting frisky post-lunch Dental floss story; people having intimate relations in the forest) (Jonathan lists off awesome Canadian women) Jonathan: Viola Desmond (challenged segregation in Glasgow, NS; 9 years before Rosa Parks)

Jeremy’s pronunciation of Scenario: “Scen-are-ee-o”

Server Pet-Peeves. Jonathan: Inclusive pro-nouns; don’t take away plate if someone else is still eating. Jeremy: No handshakes or sitting down at the table. “…Burling down a big bag of chicken wings at the Old Frankie’s Tomatoes” – Jonathan: “I like seeing servers burlin’ around, it makes you feel like they’re on top of it.”

Ideal Swiss Chalet orders. (Swiss Chalet training con: nod while offering dessert options)

Moments of Frustration. Jeremy: F-Bombs; Jonathan: “God-dammit;” “Maybe a ‘for frig’s sake’” (Jeremy – “Seriously!? What are you, Ned Flanders?!” Jonathan’s wife: “Aww, nuts!”

MAFK – isn’t a word, so it’s okay. Jonathan shies away from swearing, Jeremy reflects on an upbringing filled with “Fucks per minute”

Jonathan & Jeremy banter about their swearing tendencies

Women spitting and swearing- yay or nay?

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Fuck It, I’m Gettin’ Up” jams (always someone who’s banged up) [YouTube Playlist]
– (Sharing Absinthe stories. “Bad news bears… Liquor’s writing cheques that your body just can’t cash”)
– “Black History Month” by Death From Above 1979 (Dougie, zamboni driver, in Orilla drinking Absinthe. “Hey Keith, get a load of zam-dougie!”)
– “Brill Bruisers” by The New Pornographers (Gordie, burly line-man in Northern BC. “How can he move like that in those Caterpillar work boots?!”)
– “Home For a Rest” by Spirit of the West (Wayne in Bracebridge. “Wayne! Open up, monkey nuts!” Wayne is having a shirts-off party alone in the bar)
– “I Heard I Had” by Dear Rouge (Gee, ski-lift operator, quiet guy. “Where’s the fucking flying pigs, Gee’s on the dance floor!… Better chance of getting a Yeti on the camera… What’s next, a Beatles reunion?”)
– “Woodstock” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (Warren’s seen Neil Young 317 times. Magnetic pull to Kylie “like their pelvises are drawn to each other”)

Discussion of Joni Mitchell. (She’s hacked 25,000 darts; she’s a dart machine!; She had to smudge her house after Ghomeshi left to remove bad vibes. “Yikers Island”)

Jonathan buys a “sexy” baseball hat for $7.99 from Canadian Tire

Jeremy buys a “big fucking” shark balloon. Floating all over the house, floating with the current of the air conditioner. – Anti-Pinata discussion (underloaded with candy)

No Cell Phones until 15 – role of parents with kids’ social media/cell phone use

Sammy Hagar yells “Quit Leaving” to his sleeping drummer

Alanis or Avril quotation Game

Jonathan sings along with “Tears are Not Enough” (Gordon Lightfoot, Burton Cummings)

Allude to an on-stage “live date” show in Toronto. Jeremy: “Get your Canadianity asses into the place that we’re playing that we will disclose at a later date.”

Episode 33
Torrens’ household on snowstorm lock-down; snow above Airstream door; 4.5ft base

Bahd of the Week: Andrew Stokely (gave mic advice – “now I’m just jamming words into the sound hole”)

Jonathan’s Tire Story. [Asked small business to price out set of tires; ordered them without authorization; Jonathan complaining to Michelin]

Jeremy screws up bahd of the week t-shirt mail-outs

Debrief last week’s swearing discussion. (Jeremy felt dirty; Jonathan felt squeaky clean, like a nerd). Jonathan: “Son of a B” after getting stuck in snow drift. “Cocksucker” after slipping on ice and fell on his back. (Frustrating Motor Vehicle interaction = yelled loud enough he saw stars!)

Jonathan buys the St. Elmo’s Fire soundtrack. Jeremy not impressed – “hard syrupy.” Jonathan loves the “Love Theme” & discusses the David Foster music video.

Discuss appreciation of submitted e-mails: taggartandtorrens@gmail.com

Junos. (Arkells’ wins; Jacob Hoggard as host; Alanis tribute)

The Voice. (Jeremy can’t stand Adam Levine; Jonathan raves about Pharrell)

Jeremy shares story of the “I just had a wank” comedian

The Chronic Masterbater living next to Jonathan’s mom. (non-stop “givener” from 6-10pm with the “contraption”- turns out he was training for arm-wrestling competitions).

“Did he?” “Didn’t he?” “Did he?” “Didn’t he?” – Archie Bunker – 4th wall awareness

Jonathan proposes game called “Dude, I Googled You”.

Burton Cummings discussion. (Burton as Lightfoot as Rod Stewart. “1:20 of jokesplanation”)

Jonathan impersonates Gordon Lightfoot as Jeremy discusses his music and podcast tendencies. “Podcast party… they CRUSH them!”

Jonathan’s Top 5 “Quebec Motel/Strip Joint” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– (Order food from restaurant across the street. Pornos on 3 channels, pretty sure they’re filmed in that room! XXX-Dancers Nude…)
– “Try” by Blue Rodeo (“Okay, Guys…” Kids in the room, couldn’t get a sitter)
– “Rockstar” by Nickelback
“Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here” by Deborah Cox (“Okay Guys, D’Accord le guys, Make some noise for Brandi Snifters”)
– “Fall From Grace” by Amanda Marshall (Jeremy as French DJ – “Here comes, Sheree”; Jonathan cackle laugh; “What was that song? Was that a hit?!”)

– “Bye Bye Mon Cowboy” by Mitsou (“Okay Guys, D’accord le guys… Put your hands togethers… for Ample Parking.” Both cackle laugh.)
– The gals workin are hackin’ darts in between. “D’accord le guys. Calms down!… Hannah Mount-anna” Both cackle laugh. “Stacey Sweet.” Jonathan: “It’s really intoxicating… I’m drunk with my own power doing the top 5!”

Episode 34
Jeremy is “burling and laughing” over the top 5 from last week.

Jonathan plays “Birmingham” by Amanda Marshall on keyboard; sings tunes; reads lyrics; “panties in a wad” tour; “0 to 60 back to 0 in 3 years”

Special Announcement: TNT live at Canadian Music Week on May 5th @ the Rivoli

Corey Hart contest “fill out ballet and he’ll call Yop”; Jonathan impersonates him and sings Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Bahd of the Week: Chris (@ChrisRedwingfan) -made 100 window decals for 101.9 The Bird

Suggestions for Rock the Coqk with purple angry rooster with veins – “I rock the Coqk”; better than truck nuts (originated in Fort MacMurray) and sticker families

Odin’s 13th birthday party; Asperger’s kid; Facebook call out = massive response; discussion on bullying “brings out volatile lion”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Date Disaster/Destruction” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “YYZ” by Rush (Post-skiing adventures with Linda; he’s air-drumming and she’s reaching for the door “I’ve got an early morning!”)
– “Another Night in Bangkok” by Murray Head (Annie meets Toby’s parents; “I think I left my oven on and I should go stick my head in it!”)
– “Let it Rain” by Amanda Marshall (Shannon gets “friended” after putting song on, “Amanda Marshall is a buzzkill!”)
– “Bad Apple” by David Wilcox (Pete, working man from Antigonish, & Harriett eat at Subway, “Are ya goin to barf? I got some demi-lunes for dessert” Jeremy cackle laugh. East-coast impersonations – “he said, she said” & “areyas”)
– (Jonathan’s story of girlfriend’s dad who spoke through the dog. “Muffy says…”)
– “Insensitive” by Jann Arden (Loretta & Bernie finish date on sour note after eating fondue in Banff)

Jeremy struggles to say “deteriorating”

Jonathan assigns Top 5 “opening up the cottage” jams

Quebec Motel/Strip Club guy – “Okay guys…. time for your feature dancers… Dora the Sexplorer”

TNT MailBag (taggartandtorrens@gmail.com) –> Props to Mike MacFarlane for giving a place to bring bahds and ideas together; Jonathan sings “Untwist My Balls” to tune of Toni Braxton’s “Un-Break My Heart”; Jeremy shares ball-swelling story; reflect on Canadianity

Talk About Game
– Jeremy – Steve Nash
– Jonathan – Barbara From
– Jeremy – Winnepeg
– Jonathan – Calgary (sings David Foster Olympics theme song)
– Jeremy – Lacrosse
– Jonathan – Poutine (“heart-attack risk!”)
– (Impromptu bananas: come in bunches, have peels, yellow, sometimes there’s tarantulas in them… Both cackle laugh)

Episode 35
Floating “sharkie” balloon needing to go to helium shop to get “topped up”; Jeremy’s daughter afraid – “but they’re friends now”

Jonathan shares about his inherited fear of mice; recollects his mother’s fear; shares about finding mice in his pick-up truck (mama mouse & 6 blind, wet mouse babies + shop vac)

Jeremy numbs out/fades out when hearing the intricacies of cars

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Cottage Cleaner” jams [YouTube Playlist] [“musty and optimistic”]
– “Ready to Start” by Arcade Fire (Garrett sitting in the canvas camp chair with handful of screws with handful of screws from half-finished project. The musty mini bar fridge that hasn’t been opened since last summer)
– “No Sugar Tonight” by The Guess Who (Trevor and Sheila at Lake Cushybushwak in northern Manitoba. Trevor, inherited the cottage, is optimistic; Sheila is resentful. “I think a friggen squirrel got into the flour is what I think”; “You just gotta get a little elbow grease and figure it out, babe”; “It’s like the squirrels were partying with a mound of cocaine!”; “Oh look, there’s a fire pit where we can burn the rest of our money, Trev!”; “That’s a perfect place to store our dreams!”; “Saskberry pies! Shiels!!!” Jonathan – “I hope Trevor and Sheila make it, but I think they’re on the ropes.”; “When the Lord closes a musty door, He opens a screen with a rip in it window” –> Trevor meets Laura from the bait shop; Sheila goes down south and puts up big numbers on Plenty of Fish) – “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks (Kamloops, BC. Bryant (“the letter T boom of 1981)”– recent break-up, 86 year old father, Carlos, recently died. “NaD? Why can’t you be here with me… I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t even pronounce my vowels and consonants….” both cackle laugh. “Seasons not Neasons! SAY IT WITH AN S!”; “Is this NINTER?”; “Why are you so annoying?! Get some S’s!” Jeremy – “even his dead dad is like “no dice!”)
– “Four Strong Winds” by Neil Young (2 middle-aged women in down vests; Kelly and Tanya in Yellowknife; filled with regret towards their decision to sell their bachelor suites. “I HATE it out here…”; “Let’s get the fuck out of here then!”; “Let’s get up there and get into things!”)

“Let’s do the bahds of the week, want to?”: Jonathan shares about his work-cation to LA, burlin’ down the highway, when tire blows out on rental SUV.
Jonathan’s Bahd of the Week: Cody Garcia spent an hour+ helping to change the tire. Jeremy’s Bahd of the Week: Paulie O’Byrne (im1in5.com) – stick handling ball across the country to raise awareness for mental health

Jonathan as Cory Hart calls Jeremy up

Jonathan sings “Dark Horse” by Amanda Marshall

Mario Lopez & Joel McHale– “Oh my god, stalker!” story

Jonathan talks Nova Scotia film tax credit situation

Brainstorming about taking TNT on the road – conversation on stage, potential guests and music, comfortable Canadian clothing

Jonathan – “That’s enough with the hats – the civil war re-enactors, the fedoras, the felt things, the newsies stuff…”; scoop neck t-shirts, and “I see what you did there,” enthusiasts; Jeremy – Drop Crotch Pants (DCP); winter

Follow-up to perve next door story with Jonathan’s mom: calls her and she thinks it’s a prank call cause her earpiece isn’t working. Hung up on him. Jeremy – “I’m gonna blame the mouse that ran around her body”.

Jonathan answers phonecall from Carol online

Mike Duffy app – pre-recorded names. Jonathan vs Jonathon. “Hey Wade, it’s the old Duff!” Larry. Berry vs Barrie. Roderick. Jean-Claude. Mary. Bernadette.

Jonathan Talks About: Mike Duffy

Episode 36
Jeremy crushes his fingers in garage door – “What the Fuck have I done?”

Rationale provided for new game “Strip the Post”; talk about the brilliance emerging within the Top 5 story lines.

Bahd of the Week: Matt Schoeder (lives in France) – wanted to buy pair of tickets for random bahds to TNT show at the Rivoli

Reminiscing on Pop Shop & Seaman’s Beverages (“ban the can” campaign)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Stay Awake” jams [Youtube Playlist]
– “Painted Ladies” by Ian Thomas (North Bay, ON @ IGA; Norman (Jere) & Glen (Jono) unloading Margarine boxes. Norman’s calico cat “Scratchy”. “Who in the hell put this YOP in a non-refrigerated truck?”; Hacking darts & cutting corners)
– “Curious” by Sandbox (Regina, SK @ Taxi Dispatcher’s office for Cyril’s Taxi Service; Barry (Jere) & Kent (Jono). Kent transferring calls. Barry makes funny faces and annoying noises, has a shirts-off party. “My belly’s talking at you, bahd!”)
– [Taquitos @ the Irving for 2.99 in pre-Salvador voice]
– “Born to Be Wild” by Steppenwolf (Barrie, ON @ Ferndale Comet gas station; Gordie (Jono) & Toby (Jere). Toby is little brother since their mom is a “lady of the night”. Gordie focusing on the accounting; Toby eating candy bars and getting chocolate on the receipts. “You smell like…That shirt reeks like mom!” – “You son of a whore!”)
– “Lager and Ale” by Kim Mitchell (Cape Breton, NS @ Sobeys; Kyle (Jono) & Pete (Jere); Kyle has thick accent and critical of Pete’s work ethic. “See them mustards? Let’s put them over there by the ketchups! Grab a box and shut your word-hole…. Just cause you moved down here from Onscario doesn’t mean you can tell us what to do with our economy!… I’d appreciate it if you weren’t like a goddamn mosquito in my ear while I’m tryin to do stuff. Frig off and let me do my work, willya?… The only thing I like about Ontario is when people from there, stay there… Turn down this friggen Rock music.” — “The only guy I like that’s bald. He’s bald and I don’t even care!!” — “I would rather plunge myself with a fiery toilet brush than listen to 4 more bars of that!… Turn off this musical barf!” – These guys aren’t in a good place)

[“Holy Catfish! We’re half an hour in!]

– “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy. (Surrey, BC @ White Spot; Salvador (Jono) & Bri-Ashley (Jere); He’s greasy, she’s in high school. “You Canadians are so uptight, you need to relax…Do you know what else is dirty– my entire mind… Sorry for putting my hand on the small of your backs…” “GET LOST!!!” “Did you know that dance is a vertical expression of a horizontal intentions?” “Stop it! …Turn your music down. WAIT A SECOND! SHUT UP! Just keep your hands off of me, you greasy jerk!”) — Jonathan: “She’s MAAADDDDD!” Salvador: “I don’t understand your Canadian ways!” Both cackle laugh. Jonathan: “It’s easy, Salvador, just don’t be a pervy nightmare and you’ll fit right in!” “He’s too touchy feely, even for Spain.” Jeremy: “He’s just like, while he talks, grasping and grabbing always, like reaching and grabbing. His hands are like muppets…”
Jonathan calls Jeremy as Corey Hart

Popular kid names: Gord, Eddie, Tanya, Kevin, Larry, Lawrence, Glen, Glent, Bryant, Rait, Sue-Ann. “Do you wanna hold ______?”

Strip-The-Post Game
– Jeremy: “The Hole” in Sudbury: Double Ds of Glaze-Yer Berries
– Jonathan: “Skintimates” in Lethbridge: Jann Harden
– Jeremy: “The Watchlight” in Gimli: Kaelah Salad [Jonathan – “It makes me feel not very good about myself.”]
– Jonathan: “Lingerie n Lace” in Ottawa: Skim Campbell
– Jeremy: “Ray’s Sunshine House” in Renfrew: Wanda Baskervilles [Jonathan – “I feel oily. I feel terrible about myself, about us…”]
– Jonathan: “The Tuna Melt” in North Bay: Whora Secord
– Jeremy: “Dipper n Dip”: Le-Lani MacDonald
– Jonathan – “I had Pamela Ballin”==> Quebec “D’Accord le guys” announcer: “Hidden Hog”: Mann Murray “Right before your eyes she change genders”; Roadside hot-tractions
– Jeremy: “The Rack” in North Battleford; “Hands On’ in Grand Prairie; “Knockers” in Chilliwack; Beckie Barnyard-stomp; Flo Nelson; Maggie Mays

Potential names for Quebec announcer? Roch Vagine?
Jeremy’s story of getting peed on by childhood friend

Nickname discussion. Jonathan’s “Pick-a-Bum” nickname story. Jeremy: “That is beyond fucking gross!” Jonathan impersonates the “Pick-a-Bum” kid. 50-year old nickname of “ShitBox”; “Cum Cum Woah” ferry guy

Episode 37
“Tote Bag”

Jonathan discusses J-Roc’s rendition of “Ahead By the Century” and being abducted by aliens; turns down gigs as J-Roc – “Pardon me, MAFK?”; Impersonations of Scandinavian Trailer Park Boys fans – “YodeLahey”

Jonathan shares about Nova Scotia Film Credit Rally

Jeremy had to do Snack Pack drop off duty; Jonathan had to drop off teddy bear duty

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Stop Singing” jams [“Shut Your Yap” jams] [YouTube Playlist]
– “Albert Flasher” by The Guess Who (2 bahds driving home after slo-pitch game; Gary & Dougger; “You read that pitcher like an Evangelical flyer, bahd!” “I have a case of friend-won’t-listen-to-me-itis.” Dougger tried quite a few distraction tactics!)
– “Rainy Day People” by Gordon Lightfoot (2 bahds finished work @ Boston Pizza, fired up to meet up with girl customers. Ash & Daryl. Ash mentions Bri-Ashley in her zebra pants, with Instagram who was going to quit her job at White Spot due to handsy new Canadian; Going to Dry-Humpery @ 10; “She’s a hot lookin’ tuna”; “Let’s grab some taquitos at the Irving…”; “DARYL, will you pull this Jesus Cordoba over and let me out?”)
– “High School Confidential” by Rough Trade (Salvador hitch-hiking & Cindy pumping gas for her Hyundai Pony; “…just while I work to understand your Canadian ways”; “I’m a Social Worker”; “I wouldn’t mind getting social with you… Any advice to help me meet ladies?”; “Perhaps putting on a shirt would do it. You are a little forward looking.”; “Touch my nipple for one second. I could cut glass. It’s like I’m smuggling raisins.” Salvador gets frustrated, talks skorts, wants out.)
– “Layin’ Pipe” by David Wilcox (Construction workers Linden & Brandt; “friggen rights”; “Couple of Hey Michelinas, couple of Hungry Man?”; Linden yells out the lyrics totally off tune; Brandt pretends to sleep. Jonathan: “I’ve been given time-outs for Car-monizing…)
– “As the Years Go By” by Mashmakhan (Spencer & his dad after soccer game; “They’re called cleats, big time.” “Do your hands hurt, Dad? From having a keen grasp of the obvious?” “That’s so interesting, Wikipedia!” “’Member before you got home from work? I loved that.”)

Jonathan’s Top 5 “Over the Course of a Wedding” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “Sign Your Name” by Terence Trent D’Arby (Watching the Couples Dance; Ted & Marcy; “Yikers Island, Ted!” “Is it just me, or are they consummating the marriage right now?” “Is that a snake?” “That’s not a snake, Marcy!” “What kind of sick party did you bring me to?”)
– “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle (Cringe-Inducing Father-Daughter song. Dina & Derrick (dad) who doesn’t like the new husband)
– “Let Your Backbone Slide” by Maestro Fresh Wes (Groomsmen choreographed routine. Keith & Petra. “Maybe if you let your backbone slide sometimes, that thing might fall out of your arse!” “This was a mistake! Turn this shit off! Forget it, Petra!” — Wires crossed–)
– “December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)” by The Four Seasons (“oh my god Cheryl, this is my jam” jam. Cheryl & Trina. Doing make-up in bathroom. “He’s been like super leaving eyeballs all over me, but I think I’m gonna do him.” “I wanna fuck him forsure…” “I can’t even…” – Meets Orville.)
– “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion (Orville & Trina are slow-dancing when Trina’s boyfriend, Kirby, shows up with a “possi mob deep”. “Thanks for dancing with my girlfriend and keeping her warm for me… Who are you, Gatsby?” “This is a wedding!” “It’s about to be a funeral.”)

Episode 38
Jonathan’s daughter looses 1st & 2nd teeth; Jeremy’s oldest son, Jon, lost two front teeth – demanded “going rate of $16/tooth”

End of April (Snow in Toronto; Canada items @ Dollarama in Nova Scotia)

Journey/Steve Perry Discussion. “South Detroit” is not actually a thing! ; Perry was “locked up in a cage with only food and water”; drummer (Deen) singing equally as good as Perry; How “Arnol” was found on the YouTubes.

Hockey Discussion: Connor McDavid, Toronto’s issues, lack of goal-tending/Defence, Kadri, Lupul, and Kessel hardships, playoff hockey intensity

COM-PERRY Game: Steve Perry vs. Arnol vs. Deen Castronovo singing “Don’t Stop Believing” –> How do bands survive the departures of their lead singers?

Jonathan does Steven Page impersonation (Jane, Pinch Me, Yoko Ono); both cackle laugh

Border crossing protocol on a tour bus

Summer Camp Reflections – Jonathan talks about bible camp – “side salad of God stuff”; Jeremy’s “Camp Kitchikewana” experience of the kid who shines his flashlight on his bird, comparing cock size–> refers to famous athlete “P11” reference: “Does it work to bring the hot lookin’ tunas around?”

Summer Camp Game (real or fake camp names)
– Jonathan: Skiff Lake, NB – Camp Cootaloogo
– Jeremy: Wenkler, MB – Camp Watchalista Counsela
– Jonathan: Falcon Lake, MB – Camp Itchaleggy [both cackle laugh]
– Jeremy: Chestermere, AB – Camp Trustafunda
– Jonathan: Stormer Lake, ON – Camp Crochadoo
– Jeremy: Duncan, BC – Camp Leavemalone
– Jonathan: Michipicoten Provincial Park, On – Camp Touchdis
– Jeremy: Mahone Bay, NS – Camp Getchaclothesoff
– Jonathan: Carpenter Lake, BC – Camp Ing
– Jeremy: Sayres Lake, BC – Camp Catchavirus

Sharon, Lois, & Bram show discussion; “Skinnamarink” – Lois died (April 22/15) – takes the edge off for the kids – “Squawkology in the back seat”

Jonathan does Australian Peter Garrett impersonation: “Beds are Burning” is a socially conscious kids show = worst show; both cackle laugh. “Look on the ground, it’s a carbon footprint!”; “Peter Garrett’s Wild Australia”

Episode 39
Live @ the Rivoli – Canadian Music Week – 1st gathering of the bahds

Hairstyle Discussion: “Master of Commander” hair; tennis ball hair; “I’ll take short hair for $600, Alex!”

Brief visitations of Salvador, Steven Page (Jonathan mentions Steven Page’s tweet to him; his desire to have Page join him onstage for a game)

“Frosty Soldiers, Cheers”

Jonathan’s Junos Award joke writing flop: “unlikely tour pairing” – Wide Mouth Mason announces plans to opens for Deborah Cox “Wide Mouth opens for Cox”

101.9 the Bird sticker giveaway- “Little boys have birds and little girls have front bums”

Role Call (free shirt): Distance driven (“not the furthest place, emotionally”) –> bahd in Saskatoon & Pembrook; (Small town name dropping – Jonathan @ Oilers game –> random guy sharing he necked with Jay Onrait’s sister)

Peter Garrett’s “Wild Australia” tv show – suppression of aboriginals

Poem Sayin’ Game
– Jeremy as Nic Nolte – “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera (“a little aggressive”)
– Jonathan as Cape Bretoner from Antigonish – “Possession” by Sarah McLachlan (Jonathan buys middle school gf a chain, which made her neck green)
– Jessie – (Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” is a “personal pronoun bus crash”) – “Foolish Games by Jewel (Jeremy refuses to share his “ridiculous” Jewel stories; sounds like a South Park character) – Complains about Jonathan on Street Cents & Jonovision (Jonathan knew it was time to leave when he thought Sum 41’s moms were hot)
– Jonathan as Salvador – “Stay” by Lisa Loeb

Jonathan: “I do impersonations of people no one wants to hear.”

Jonathan recalls meeting the queen; going to “queen school”; “yeah, yeah”; dissed by Prince Phillip –> “It was peanut brutal, as the kids say.”

Mike from tnt.ca website asks a question for “shits and giggles” – “How did you guys come together?” –> doing Karaoke together as Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt. “Peripheral friends but not besties”

Jeremy tells about meeting Jonathan at Matt Mayes house party, playing left-handed drum kit; their appreciation for social commentary

Jeremy: “Erect is good when you’re trying to make something happen”

Mike Clattenberg’s Call-Centre Darts

Jonathan discusses finding it hard to turn down fan requests for J-Roc appearances at bachelor parties. “He goes from zero to dixty” real quick. = Deactivated Facebook.

Jonathan’s friend goes on date with David Spade, who takes her to “Big Mama’s House 2”

Hit the Post Game
– Jeremy: 102.3 The Jackyl in Orillia: “Careless Whisper” by George Michael
– Jonathan: 99.9 The Narwhal in North Bay: “Closer to the Heart” by Rush [Jonathan gets booed! Jeremy references and defends his TLC Hit the Post]
– Jeremy: 105.9 The Dove in Sarnia: “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS [“This guy had a little bit of a rough go… I don’t know about you but I like belts around my waist, not my neck”]
– Jeremy: 99.4 The COQK in Red Deer: “Do It Again” by Steely Dan [“Like disgraced sprinter, Ben Johnson…”]
– Jonathan: 105.9 The Dove in Sarnia: “The Look” by Roxette [“Hey Dovers!”]
– [Saying “Good Morning” right before Hit the Post’]
– Uncle Jessie: 107.5 The CONT in: “All My Life” by Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt [Mic doesn’t work – “Bring your world hole over here, Uncle Jessie”]. –> “What a Man” by Salt-n-Peppa
– Wes from Greenbank: [Jonathan tells Camouflage motorcyle story]: 88.8 The Owl: “Kiss Me, You Fool” by the Northern Pikes.–> “Romantic Traffic” by The Spoons. [Jeremy: “WES, I WANT YOU ON THE RADIO, NOW!”; Jonathan: “I don’t remember life before Wes, and I don’t want to!”; “WWWD: What Would Wes Do?” – “A Wes-Planation”]

Jeremy tells story of being on mushrooms, playing encore with Sam Roberts Band, doing 5 minute drum solo [Jonathan: “That’s like taking an uzi to a kitten fight”]

Audience Question: If you were a stripper, what would your 3 song set be?
– Jeremy: “Bye Bye Mon Cowboy” by Mitsou
– Jonathan does Corey Hart impersonation – “Phone You Yop” before greasy Quebec strip club guy. Shares broken English “Waiting For You” by Richard Marx
Audience Question: Can Jeremy play a drum solo?

Episode 40
Discussing being middle aged. Jeremy turns 40, has ear hair; Jonathan’s aches and pains

Jonathan’s being quiet in his Miami hotel; hates the beats in the elevator and “ill-fitting spandex items”; pumped cologne into the hallways

Debriefed the live show at the Rivoli; Jonathan – “highlight of my life”; working to make merch available online, sharing intentions to go on tour, “annual Bahdstival” or BBQ

Jeremy talks about the importance of “pract-tick”

Miniature Ponies upcoming gig for 500; “hard to pract-tick because everyone works in film”; Jeremy: “are you going to fire a BNL tune in there?”- suggests & sings “Jane”

Jeremy defines paradiddle, mamadada drum beats; describes “One Man Army” and “Stealing Babies” as two of his favourites

Discussion on BB King’s passing

Jeremy discusses his favourite hotels “ones that have feel”; San Francisco, Spain, Quebec City, New York; “maxi mini-bars”’; putting beds together and jumping on the beds; tour manager waking Jeremy up for an early-morning flight

Random flight-related issues: stomach troubles, Jeremy’s had migraines, the shits, a yank (‘because I was bored”); Jonathan talks about watching Nacho Libre 3x on his commute to and from Maui–> distaste for Jack Black; discuss comedic actors and their roles

Jonathan discusses his inability to do audition well; “Titleist – watch it fly”; Vegas Casino commercial @ Crabs table showing excitement, “I’m dying inside!” before learning. “It’s important to know what you’re good at and quit tryin’ to mow that grass.”

“Did Richard Klein win at life? Discuss”

Jonathan auditioned with Danny Bonaduce and his wife; “It was devastating, Dootchbags”

Bahd Mailbag: @bucketstp – “Context for May 2-4?” From Daniel – “What Canadian movie would you like to star in?” — Jeremy: “Goin’ Down the Road”; Jonathan: “I’d love to play Gordon Lightfoot at some point…. Yorkville & folk scene”

Jonathan discusses rice cakes – “I’ve been on low level gut watch for 4 months” – Pounding “sleeves of rice cake garbage… Might as well be eating dust bunnies. I’ve been eating door stops made of sawdust”; Jeremy crushes 1 bag Chicago Mix per week

Bahd Mailbag continued: @pokeybandit – “After Babcock, who will we end up talking endlessly about?”’ “Any plans for a live show in Halifax?” ; From Kirk Degaust: “What’s the worst meal you’ve ever eaten?” — Jonathan: “Not worst – but different… In Northern Community, raw Caribou being chopped up on the gym floor; muktuk/whale blubber”; Jeremy: Dish soap pasta. “Tasted like I was being poisoned.” Jonathan: “mesquite crunchers.” From Colin Haggarty: “Favourite Cottage activity other than getting banged up?” — Discuss the possibility of the “shut up around the campfire” jams

Activities for kids– Sug doing Timbits soccer– discuss favourite Timbit flavours, discuss the frozen not baked; syringes to inject timbits.

Episode 41
Salvador makes an appearance – “I would like to take the time to thank you for answering the phone when I call your face.” — Jonathan: “There’s a little Salvador in all of us.” Any good impression requires a starting word: Salvador’s word is “Again”

Discussing shorts (jean shorts; Jeremy wearing classic 3-stripe 90s Adidas shorts)

Jonathan’s favourite sneaker ever: Low top Adidas Patrick Ewings (size 12) –> Discuss Converse, Kangaroos, Rugby pants, Adidas duffle bag from mars, Happy Days lunchbox, Jonathan’s Grey construction site Thermos “Just never landed in the pocket”

Lunch Time anxiety. Jonathan: “Kids with the jello or pudding. We weren’t allowed that stuff. I had a head of lettuce and come carrot sticks”… “Gag-it-down sawdust granola bars”

Jonathan’s Gr. 1 trip to Houston. Buys a white 3-piece suit. “I would not take my eyes off the prize.”

Discussion about Mr. Dressup, Mr. Rogers, Fred Penner, & Raffi

Crash Test Dummies. They both sing “Superman’s Song”; Jonathan overplays “First Noel” while selling t-shirts in Cavendish

Jonathan’s idea for sketch: John Mayer’s back-up singer “Waiting”

“Want to?!”

Collin Hanks is doing “Callin Pranks” on comedy network

Canadian or Can-Not-ian Game: The Instant Replay; The Egg Carton; Peanut Butter; Motorized Wheelchair; The Garbage Bag; Zamboni; The Bag Tag (diversion to McCain punch commercial); The Paint Roller (Norm Breaky should be Bahd of the week); Liquid Paper (Mike Neismith from the Monkees – “trustfunda”)–> “Must’ve gone the way of the dodo”–> discuss the lack of penmanship/handwriting

Discussion about Beatles movies – Hard Day’s Night; Magical Mystery Tour

Jeremy shares about Letterman’s retirement, dinner with Elvin Jones, chilly Ed Sullivan theatre, playing on Conan O’Brien

Jonathan discusses his time on “Game On”

Jeremy shares Annalise Kindergarten story. “I just said, ‘whatever’.” followed by eye-roll

Popularized Household Phrases: Jeremy – “Alien Sized” ice cream. Jonathan – “Showy-shows,” “Tote-Bag” – it’s really kinda valley girl and weird, “Will do, mildew” – Doesn’t even make sense, don’t like myself when it comes out of my mouth. (Jeremy: “That’s some heavy dad talk, right there”)

Jeremy’s dad would do pirouette farts; the uncle that would grab too hard (Jonathan – “Uncle Noogies”; Jeremy “Beat the shit out of you.” – Borderline assault); Jonathan’s brother sitting on him, using his own hands to punch him; Jeremy behind held down with spit coming out of face

Childhood Games: Choke (hold breath, other guy squeezes; Jeremy tells story about brother’s friend who fell onto gravel road); Jonathan hates towel snapping and wet willies; Making forts; Chuck-the-Boot (steel-toed boot tossed in the air, you have to accept where it lands. Jonathan: “That’s a game where no one wins”); Wind Bag (Jonathan’s neighbour that chases Sobey’s bag. Jeremy: “Was she all there?”; Jonathan: “That’s a game anyone can play. Sometimes the bag wins, sometimes you win.”); Letting air out of tractor tires;

Jeremy shares about finding dead animals hanging in neighbour’s yard

Jeremy: “Yikers Island” & “What-ev Salad”

400,000 downloads on iTunes. (Jeremy: “That’s horny, bahd!)”

Episode 42
Jonathan’s horse pick-up story. (5/8 lug nuts came off wheel in New Brunswick, with kids, at night, dualie truck with horse trailer; running out of gas)”

Bahds of the Week: Ralph & Kevin from Ralph’s Towing; young couple; Mike (“Hop in, you’re not going to kill me, are you?”)

Jonathan recording in his Airstream trailer in the driveway

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Speedboat” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “Miami Vice” theme song
– [Cigaret boat conversation; Adirondack vs Muskoka chairs; Kelly Gruber on IR but doin “rooster-tails”]
– “Panama” by Van Halen (Muskoka, ON @ Lake Joe; Tyler (Jere) & Luke (Jono) on a beer run. “How’s your mom doing since the divorce? …Cause she’s never looked better…. Pump the breaks on the alpha-male stuff, bro-dude!”) – [Jeremy doesn’t like going fast on the water]
– “Beverly Hills Cop” theme song (Leith (Jono) & Carp “Cause I just crush the bottom feeders” (Jere); 60 but look 35, well to-do business men “Captains of Industry” that one-up each other; Aquasocks, Schooner’s in town, Bentley, BMW, & Ferrari talk, “first-hand cool guy”, Stradivarius.) Jeremy: “It’s the same version as like a fight in Grade 6.” Jonathan: “Don’t you hate those dudes? Don’t like those dudes” , Jeremy: “Those guys are the D-Baggers”
– “Idle Eyes” by Tokyo Rose (Jezebel – bad girl at school (Jere) & Nerdy Neil (Jono) on a first-date, borrowed parents’ boat; “I thought you had a dad bod” “Those Physics books aren’t going to lift themselves.” Jezebel wants to jump Neil. They both jump into the lake, the boat burls into Schooner’s)
– “Some Like it Hot” by The Power Station (Cap (Jere) & Kyle (Jono) hungover but Kyle’s on something; “I went through the valley of being tired, but now I’m wide awake, bro, look at the sunrise!.. I’m gonna pound some pancakes, and toast, and eggs, sausage and bacon, and ham,and cereal, and porridge, dude I’m gonna see if they have lunch, and a BLT, and club sandwich and fries, then a belly rub…” “You’re way too zapped, man! You’re killing me, you’re like on an electric fence!”) Jeremy: “I don’t like Kyle, at all… He’s a coked out psychopath!” Jonathan: “I’m worried about those guys.

Jonathan got called into work, had to abandon poddy; recording in his “studio” under the basement stairs, with no air circulation, has a waiting area with 2 chairs.

TNT Snacks for Green Room: Chicago Mix & Cookie Sandwiches “like door stops.. will take the edge off real quick”

Discuss debut on Toronto’s Newstalk 1010. (Respect for solo radio hosts having conversations with themselves for 3 hours)

Childhood Games from the Bahds:
– Warren Mulvey – Speaker wire & Snapple bottle as pet dog;
– Tony – Create rock mansions to put wrestlers and Hot Wheels, then smash it with bigger rocks;
– Kevin Petty – Stacked up old tires on old rusty ogre;
– Joe Archer – Back to the Future – kick tin can with gasoline while wearing dad’s boots “Gas, Children, & Fire!”;
– Phillip – Take turns throwing rocks at each other while shielding with garbage can lid; street hockey shots with frozen tennis ball or orange balls;
– Goldie – throwing hacky sacks around a dark room until everyone looses;
– John King – Shoot bow & arrow into air while friend runs around trying to catch it with Styrofoam

Episode 43
Hiatus = “I hate us”; rationale for why there hasn’t been a new poddy for a couple weeks

Last day of school before summer summer

Jonathan’s Home Studio sounds like a bathroom?! Need some sweaters or egg cartons for the walls? “Treat this like a Steely Dan album” – Jeremy discusses big vs small room sound.

Reference to Stand By Me movie: Jeremy shares curiosity towards seeing a dead body; Jonathan shares a Trailer Park Boys “walking into sunset” scene.

Jeremy’s RJ Logan story: 1989, age 14. Greasy 2 bedroom apartment. 3355 Western Rd – Paradise Towers” in West end. His mom says, “smells like somebody fucking died down there!” He and Jetson investigate. “Gasp of a smell… so intense… gross and terrible.” The guy died on his couch, wasn’t discovered for nearly 2 weeks. Ambulance came to get body – but as they went down the stairs, the body almost comes off the gurney. Saw his grey face. His couch was left behind in the lobby, tipped up on its side. “The body releases all the what’s inside of you after 2 days or something like that… So that’s also the big issue, the contents of the body being everywhere.” Jonathan – “So, RJ’s Hungry Man dinner is also on the couch?” [both laugh] Pair of gloves left behind in the laundry room garbage, soaked with “RJ-ness”.

Ronnie rages in “angry heat” at Paradise Towers

Weird friendships like “cottage friends.” Jonathan shares about golf balls into the water; catching crabs with dimes in their bellies; Jeremy watches Batman marathons

Jonathan’s daughter’s graduates kindergarten (French lyrics for songs like “I Love Rock n Roll”); Jeremy’s daughter thinks everyone is leaving forever; Jonathan’s “Under-6 soccer”

Jeremy’s brother Jetson works at the Ferndale Comet; 15 year old friend squatting in some building & “pickin pockets”, gets girl pregnant – “Huckleberry Finn-type character”

Jeremy and Jetson steal money from the 90-year-old man selling corn on the side of the road in Mansfield; birthday cash from extended family

Jonathan’s summer jobs: selling t-shirts on Cavendish boardwalk, hosting Karaoke by night. Lived in abandoned ice cream shack with 3 cots.

Canadianity: The Book – Fall of 2016 release. Harper Collins is publisher. “We’re gonna have to start wearing turtlenecks and smoking pipes” –> Thick Wale Cord pants

Update on Newstalk 1010 Radio show. “We’re probably not talking about RJ Logan…”; doing things outside of comfort zone; planning tour dates; Jonathan pitches idea of doing 50th episode in a bahd’s house #bahdshouse #comeonoverbahds #bahdfest

Miniature Ponies 3rd gig raising money for Community Centre. “It’s a horse of a different colour”playing for a couple hundred folks. “We wanted to bring the thunder right out of the gate.” Drinks raised over the head = when you know folks are into it. “This winter was such a donkey fister!”

Jeremy shares live performance gaffs: Lights going out, fire alarms, electricity fails, outdoor power failure – PA failure, water bottles thrown on stage “technical difficulty due to asshole”, Chad Kroeger getting hit with shoe, crowd surfer catches a beer

Jonathan sings “Sex & Candy” by Marcy Playground; most over-rated band: Limp Bizkit – Fred Durst sex tape?; Jeremy’s concert bucket list: Derek & the Dominos (OneDirection missing out without Zaine); Jonathan’s concert bucket list: Dixie Chicks (had tickets for CMT Crossroads James Road & Dixie Chicks)

“Are we crossing the country in a van?” “A little planes, trains, and automobiles… I like the idea of stopping at a greasy motel and doing a podcast.”

Further discussion on podcast at bahd’s house. Tell us why we should do a podcast at your house at taggartandtorrens@gmail.com

Episode 44
Jeremy shares about the Stomp the Sigma Golf Tournament (Sponsors & Celebrity presence; Collateral Damage Suicide Awareness – leftbehindbysuicide.org; SAFEtalk; Kyle Brandon Travis Foundation)

Discussion about mental health and suicide, with the overwhelming stigma

Jonathan’s daring move with chocolate milk in the coffee

Jonathan moves into “echo town” recording closet; talks about needing to buy fabric from “Fabric-ville”; discusses “Swap Shop” on the pod – “TNT’s barter n trade”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Long Drive Vacation” jams
– [“Delivering your mouth to the whack” ; Ronnie would do the swinging “tornado fists” to the shins – “The bone hammers”]
– “Graceland” by Paul Simon (Dad (Jere) & kid in back seat(Jono) not feelin it.) Jonathan breaks character to sing along. (“Now that you understand that this song cannot be denied as a classic, maybe you’ll shut up!. “Dad, why don’t you put on some classic rock, like Avril… early Avril. Can you put on sk8r-boi?”) Jonathan sings “The Obvious Child”
– “It’s Still Rock & Roll to Me” by Billy Joel (only child Donald (Jono) & Regan (Jere) & Girlfriend Illana (Jono) driving from Toronto to Turkey Point,hoping to get busy with new girlfriend; Donald’s allergic to pollen and needs Epipen; “I didn’t know we’d have extra baggage…”; “I think I’m gonna be sick on the back of Illana’s neck.”) Jonathan recollects barfing in his mom’s boyfriend’s convertible; Jeremy barfs Banana Milk in Germany; Jonathan’s Jerk Chicken & Mango Lassi combo
– “End of the Line” by Travelling Wilburys (Mom Pamela (Jono) & George (Jere); “Do you think you could score us some Mary Jane, this weekend?” Pamela sets him up. “Hector, pull over, I want to examine George’s pockets!”)
– “If I Had a Rocket Launcher” by Bruce Cockburn (ragey dad (Jere) & hitchhiker Salvador (Jono) driving from Halifax to Murtle Beach; “It’s so nice and cozy between your twin daughters” “You keep your hands between your legs!” Refers to Bri-Ashley “I did not understand her ways”, “I thought I recognized your breath!”)
– “Sugar Mountain” by Neil Young (Blanka (Jere) & Maureen (Jono) stoner girls on bus heading to Pemberton; “I wonder if there will be any dudes in board shorts and flat-brimmed hats?’ “Don’t neck boys with beards, cause that’s how you get ticks!” “What-Evs” “I’m not coming home until I have a tick.” “Lyme Disease or bust, Maureen!”)

Jonathan’s Mr. D co-worker worked as milk man and on 80s music videos

Can-80s Game
– “Kiss You (When It’s Dangerous)” by Eight Seconds (for Jeremy 0-0)
– “We Run” by Strange Advance (for Jonathan 0-0)
– “Tokyo Rose” by Idle Eyes (for Jeremy 1-0)
– “Got to Pieces” by Paul Janz (for Jonathan 0-1)
– “Diamond Sun” by Glass Tiger (for Jeremy 2-0) –> Allen Frew impersonation for 7 minutes (both burst out laughing) Working the Tim Hortons drive-frew. “I went from Glass Tiger to Giant Tiger” “Coconut Joe shirt” “Roots Jacket with a beaver Canoe” “Calgary Olympics jumper” (both cackle laugh) Jeremy: “That’s enough of the Frew” Jonathan: “I don’t know if it is!” “I got grass stains on my yoga pants”
– “Drop the Needle” by Maestro Fresh Wes (for Jonathan 1-2)

Episode 45
Jonathan buys $325 of egg carton foam; “I sound dope!”; Jonathan laments over his poor sound quality for the last year

Debrief the Fredrock music Festival; Jeremy says “obviously” more times than he wants to; raised $1,000 for Student Hunger Program; Auctioning off Trailer Park Boys hoody for $560; J-Roc appearance with Jere on the beat-box

Discussing tour plans – “tweet us to tell us where you are” @taggartntorrens

Jonathan shares bucket-list desire of playing Gordon Lightfoot in a movie–> 1st appearance of Bernie & Gord. Gord pitches song idea for “If You Could Read My Mind” –> (midway through Gord turns into Corey Hart) –> “Hey Bernie!” (both laugh; Jeremy loses it) –> Salvador shows up to sleep with Gord’s wife = “Sundown is English for Salvador”; Gord’s 1st divorce was “bad news bears” setting records in Canada

Plastic frog thing (kiddie pool), slip n slide, Wet Banana = Wet Concussion. “I split my thorax open sliding downhill on a thing.”

Top Stitches Story. Jonathan sliced thumbs open while working at all-you-can-eat Lobster Restaurant. Jeremy getting banged up for the first time, wrestling onto garbage bags – “getting bull-rushed… it’s a bad move” King Kong Bundy style. “Shouldered into broken glass… Wrestling’s over! Be careful when you’re wrestling on the garbage bags.”

Jeremy googles details about Uruguay

Jeremy discusses childhood friends Alex & Alex –> Jonathan lists 2 types of friends (people who are like you & history friends– “Aww ‘Member?”); the significance of good quality friends; not wasting time with shallow, sinking sand negative people

Jeremy’s Top 5 “It’s Too Hot” jams
– “Too Hot” by Alanis Morissette (Jonathan dove tails into Poem Sayin’: “Is it about sexy ambition?” Jonathan reads out 3rd verse. Jeremy – “It’s the original “Lose Yourself” by Eminem!”)
– “Ludi” by Dream Warriors (young Jeremy Taggart (Jono) & Ronnie (Jere) in Paradise Towers; Questions non-stop back and forth. “Why do our names all start with J?” “GO TO BED!”)
– “Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie & the Blowfish (unemployed & quit school bahds in 1997: Connie (Jono) & Reardin (Jere); “Reardin, tell me one move you’re making. The blow-fish have more moves than you.”; “It might be because I’m really hot, or because I find Hootie’s voice really grating… but the point is, I just am kinda sick and tired of hearing you talk about how you’re maybe one day sorta be making moves when I’m sitting here, marinating in my own desperation… My dad was sucked into a turbine!”) Jonathan – “Reardin is goin’ nowhere fast!”
– [Jonathan reveals he had a Hootie & the Blowfish cassette in his car; Jeremy talks about Darius Rucker being “hung like a mule” and “sporting a cricket bat”]
– “Summer in the City” by Lovin Spoonful (Rube from Kitchener (Jere) & Jesse from BC (Jono); building sheds; looking forward to travelling to Uruguay, talks about Alex and Bri-Ashley “We were close, like super close, like within 6 feet.” “DUDE!!!” “Hotter than a cobra’s taint out there.”) = Jeremy plays clips of “Do You Believe in Magic” and “Didn’t Have to be So Nice”
– “What a Day for a Daydream” by John Sebastian (Kylie (Jere) & east-coast Robert (Jono); “I always thought you were right cute.” “If I bring some Country Time lemonade, maybe we could neck for a bit… You’re friggen green, are ya? I could fix that right quick.” Discuss Hostess Munchies. “I can’t stand the sound of your voice, it ‘s like a car alarm. So either you shut your mouth and we get to the neckin’, or I’m walking away.”) Jeremy plays “Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind” & “Welcome Back”

Jonathan shares about the 2-Faced Game: John Sebastian Bach; George Michael Jackson

Jonathan: “That’ll suck the tears out of your look-balls” (The Lovin’ Spoonful & Barra MacNeils – “Darling, Be Home Soon”)

Lucy from Barra MacNeils played harp at Torrens wedding. “When she hits the high

Episode 46
French Baseball Announcer welcomes in episode 46

“man plans and God laughs, as they say”

Kanye’s concert with the lights on; Lenny Kravitz “fires out his bird” ; “from nip slips to cock slips” – “it popped open pretty hilariously…it’s classic. I saw a gif” “A gif from God.” “It wrastled its way out there…” “..like an elephant’s truck? It just rolled out there?”

Jonathan took “tiny roommates” to Nashville; shares being “donkey fisted” by airlines, changing both of their flights; Sees Marc Costanzo from Len in the airport (Jeremy talks about partying in Kelowna at Mark’s “Steal My Sunshine” Chalet)

Discuss plans for Comedy & Canadianity tour; hesitation from Saskatoon. Jonathan: “I know for a fact, I know as well as I know my own face that there’s lots of Bahds in Saskatoon, because we hear from them all the time.”

Discussion of Chris Hyndman’s passing

Gord shows up and briefly visits Bernie in “egg-carton town”

Randy Bachman’s running monologue to guitar music; Tal Bachman is doing the lord’s work, passing out the Mormon “whatnot” literature –> Bachmanism. “Is Randy Mormon? Is he?”

Jonathan’s Top 5 “Shutter Down Campfire” jams
[“For The Luva…; Shut the Fuck Up” jams]
– “Wonderwall” by Oasis (Trip (Jere) & guitar playing Cody (Jono); “I don’t need to be hearing your cheap t-bag tunes… You don’t even know the Gallagher jams! SHUT UP!!!!”) Jonathan: “Poor guy isn’t relaxing at all!”
– “Superman (It’s Not Easy)” by Five for Fighting (Rory (Jono) & Liza (Jere); Liza gets stood up from a guy she met online and meets guitar playing Rory at her campsite; “don’t really need a reminder from the 9/11 song.”)
– “More than Words” by Extreme (Denver (Jono) & Allan (Jere); “Cheesy Hair band from Boston? NO THANKS! I hate guys who smack the guitar on the beat. Do you know how much the song sucks?” “I have better things to do tonight than to stare at your baby poo brown eyes… SHUT UP BAHD!” “The cheap, fake Beatles part? FORGET IT!”) Jeremy hates the guitar knocking.
– “Time in a Bottle” by Jim Croce (hippie 60s couple – Glenda (Jere) & Lukas (Jono); “I’m trying to play the song for you, not with you.” Lukas shushes Glenda from singing along. “I’m trying to have fun, Lukas! Just play it and shut up!” Glenda sings along like a monk. “You know what? I want a divorce. You will not interrupt me one more time!”)
– “Time of Your Life (Good Riddance)” by Green Day (Teenaged couple – Charmaine (Jere) & Derek (Jono); Charmaine wants to do it, but he wants to play through the song first. “ooh, well, let’s practice. Wanna practice? Wanna try me out? Wanna take a taste of the candy bar before you buy it?” Gordon Lightfoot impersonation continues singing. “Maybe I should take my shirt off… Did you say hard on?”)
– Honourable Mentions: Brown Eyed Girl, House of the Rising Sun, American Pie, Wagon Wheel, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Hurt. Songs that shouldn’t be allowed around campfire, like “Oh What a Night” and “Chicken Dance” at weddings

Gord visits Bernie, discusses song idea about sinking “Edmond Fitzgerald” ship. (both cackle laugh) “Great moments in the origins of Canadian songs.” Bruce Cockburn’s “Wondering Where the Lions Are” originated in Bernie’s office.

Jeremy gives update on his busted finger from the garage slam; not able to golf

Gordon Lightfoot cover acts: Whispers of the North–> Burton Cummings as Gord YouTube clip. Cummings vs Bachman argument. Jeremy is “60’s Guess Who fan”.

Carol & Jonathan go out for Cow’s Ice Cream, run into Bob Mackowycz

Toronto Blue Jays update; Jeremy talks about his sports radio gigs, Pitch Talks panel, NEWSTALK1010 debrief when Jonathan was absent (“couples that get banged up together, stay together?”

Jeremy gives update on Ronnie dealing with the heat; alludes to RJ Logan smell’ “shorts & shirts off”; loves watching Mantracker & Survivor Man. Jonathan’s watching the Bachelor

David Spade has a new show. “Is it called annoying little guy in an office that says cheap one liners and pretends that he’s cool?” Jeremy recalls seeing him in a bar trying to wheel ladies. Re-mention Jonathan’s story of David Spade taking friend to theatre to watch his new movie’s preview.

Jeremy’s big friend “Cloutch” Brent Cloutier who swam fast and drinks 60 beers in a night; played AHL; his parents own Mr. Sub

“We should do the tour in a Prius!” Jonathan discusses the sexy Airstream trailer. Discuss the “bahdmobile”.

Episode 47
“Horny, bahd!” – Jeremy sits right behind the plate at the Jays game, nearly gets hit in head. “Hot like a frying pan.” Discuss 11-game win streak.

Jonathan’s neighbour lists his property – quoted Jonathan a price 3x higher than what he actually listed it for.

Top 5 “80s Jays/Expos Walk-Up” jams
– Jonathan does Franglais introductions for: #8 – Gary Carter; Andre Dawson – “Foul Ball-ism”; Tim Raines – Phil Collins jam; #37 – Tom Dickson – “Oh Yeah” by Yello; #0 – Al Oliver; #29 – Tim Wallach – “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel) [Jeremy snickers] Jonathan is sweating up a storm, “marinating in myself”.

Jonathan shares about trip to Chicago; no issues with this trip! Taking tiny roommates “Griswald Camping”; discuss the mosquito attack – Jeremy – “makes me hot”

Jonathan shares about charlie-horses in his calf; Jeremy shares about sleep paralysis

One-Hit Wonders – “How Bizarre” by OMC; “Unbelievable” by “EMF”;

Hairy famous people: Gino Vanelli, Eugene Levy, “Hairy Gibb”, Robin Williams

Birthed’eh Game (birthday and 3 options)
– March 22, 1931 –> William Shatner (“He looks Shat-tastic”; “The Shat came back, the very next day”)
– May 1, 1960 –> Stu Jeffries
– March 2, 1935 –> (Jonathan talks it out) Al Waxman
– November 8, 1971 –> Ocean Hellman
– September 24, 1972 –> Neil Hope “Wheels” (Died November 25, 2007)
– July 8, 1948 –> Raffi

Jonathan does more Franglais introductions

Jeremy talks about “Pitch Talks” in Hamilton; Jays GM, new Leafs management

Episode 48
Degrassi Junior High intro music. Jonathan sings along. “Everybody Wants Something” by The Zit Remedy; Wheels dominates in 2nd Season; Jonathan’s internet is “old, slow load”

Torrens Family Camping Update: Jonathan – “I think we’re campers, bahd!”; Jeremy – “You went for a double dip?… You’re living like Yanni out there!” Jonathan – “Power, Water, Poo Site”; Jeremy’s cottage adventures; Gated Community for Tiny Humans. DVD Combo Platter with Bruce Cockburn’s “Franklin” theme song.

Discuss plans for 50th episode at a Bahd’s house. “Risk is high, but the reward is pretty cool.” #bahdbeque

Jonathan’s hyper, all fired up and giddy, 3 cups of coffee in, buys bike, considers Tae-Bo or & Zumba, needs spandex for his turdcutter, John Deer glove down his pants. “tuckin hard”; construction guys pooping in bathtubs; peeing in cups.

“Let’s get into our Top 5! Want to?”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Back to School” jams
– “Bus Rider” by The Guess Who (Matthias (Jono) & Miller (Jere); Buddies on the school bus, 1st Day back; hand-me-down cords; french horn, “integers suck”; javelin practice, “Hey Malcolm, turn down that dusty old music” on the Walkman) “They were gonna get their faces punched in”
– [Shout out to the guys who wear sunglasses on the backs of their necks. Equivalent to truck nuts. The new rat-tail. Jeremy talks about guy watching laptop jerkin off in an apartment with windows]
– “___________” by ____________(Oliver (Jono) & Fiona (Jere); Oliver has a crush on Fiona, she’s not feeling it; “Did you just say Oliver-Clothes off?” “No, I asked how was your summer!” “What’s your favourite subject?” “My favourite subject is Fiona” “That’s gross!”) “Maybe Oliver should switch seats… it’s not happening”
– “Funk 49” by James Gang (Mr. Dez (Jere) & Kent (Jono); Cafeteria Manager and friendless Kent; “My English teacher, Mrs. Scooby said I can call her Ann this year.” Mr. Dez yells at Malcolm; “Trouser Chili”)
– [Jonathan tells about a 1989 Crown Vic full of 5 guys at Shoppers Drug Mart who “thought they were pretty big time”; “Thought they were revenge of the nerds”)
– “Misty Mountain Hop” by Led Zeppelin (Norbert (Jere) & Rex (Jono); 2 geeks bantering back at forth; “If Malcolm’s not careful, he’s gonna be asked to leave this study hall!” “Malcolm Powder” “Hey Malcolm, the computer program you designed is flawed” “Let me pass the aloe vera plant to soothe the burns”) “I love those guys… I’d be friends with those guys… ‘Prepare for Deportation’”
– “Sounds of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel (Malcolm (Jere) & English Teacher (Jono); Malcolm doesn’t respond to any questions asked of him.) “I’m so frustrated with Malcolm and I’m not even in the class… He’s allergic to the world… parenting”

Jonathan involved with Tenancy board after husky-owning tenant leaves rental suite.

Canadian or Ca-NOT-ian kids’ shows theme songs
– Jeremy – Caillou (“He’s not actually a likeable kid”; “He’s got all kinds of issues” “He’s just a hairless kid who has a real bug up his ass!”)
– Jonathan – The Uncle Bobby Show (Jeremy’s mom gave up her childhood pet monkey to the Uncle Bobby Show)
– Jeremy – Inspector Gadget (50% Canadian! Jason Alexander as Inspector Gadget? “The character of George is more likeable…”)
– Jonathan – It’s the Great Space Coaster (With Gary Gnu)
– Jeremy – Rocket Robin Hood (“Friar Tuck crushing all the eats” – Canadian! “I’m a suck-a-potomus at this game!”)
– Jonathan – Romper Room (Australia, Japan, & USA had their own versions.)

Discuss Orange Mafk celebrities: John “really tanned, no neck” Gallagher; Steve Anthony; Lloyd Robertson; Jay Onrait in the early days; “Spray guns at CTV”

Episode 49
Jeremy’s Top 5 “Canadianity Power Ballad” jams
– “Heaven” by Bryan Adams (Corbin (Jono) & Trixy (Jere); @ school dance; “I’ve got the draft burps!…. We should probably dance or whatever.” “Just do me a favour and don’t give me a hickey.” “You don’t have to muckle onto me like an oyster.” “Wanna go to Orange Julius?”) Orange Julius business plan: “Cok-E-coli” Orange juice with sugar “like cola”. “20 years before its time…The Smooth-ment”; “Butterfly laughter… what the clam is that?”
– “Never Surrender” by Cory Hart (Chestnut (Jono) & Abigail (Jere); Apology for barfing on Abigail’s Le Chateau top; “I can smell the bile of your belly on me!”) “They’re on the ropes!” “She’s had it!”
– “Heaven in Your Eyes” by Loverboy (Bentley (Jere) & Allison (Jono); hot guy with Trans-Am; Paramount Vista lookout; “Wait a second, are we gonna neck? I’ve been waiting for this since the Falcon Island war.” “Well Allison, you’re gonna find the ship to bounty.”)

– “Angel Eyes” by Jeff Healey Band (Leonard (Jere) & Sylvain (Jono); eyeing up Kathleen, fake id, Beaver Lumber staff, Thrifty’s store, “Do you know those underwear are half off?”)
– “I Remember You” by Skid Row (Jody (Jere) & Joel (Jono); Jody’s brother went away for a break & enter for the summer, feeling sad; “Let’s go rock skipping or do some burpies.” “That’s what they said to my dad before he went into the air turbine.” “Let’s go throw around the Canadian Tire frisbee, have some Kraft Dinner.” “I might meet you after for moose piss… He’s not gone, he’s just gone away for a few months… You’re the colour of mayonnaise.”)

Discussion about THAT guy who wants to play bass.

PEI theme park camping. Mr. Magic’s show (retiree amateur magician). Brings kids on stage, so nobody can leave. Chicken puppet lays eggs in empty bag: “What didst you do with the eggs, girlst?” Jono’s kid gets Sobey’s garbage bag hat from him, wants Mr. Magic to have a CBC radio show. “You havin’ a problem with turmites, ares ya? Phone lines are opent… How windy is it where you’re at?”

Bahd’s House for 50th episide: @andrewax1 –> rolling the dice with bahdism. “Chips will be plentiful.”

Discuss favourite moments from first 50 episodes: Canadianity Simplicity, Jeremy misses the calls, Jonathan loves Jeremy hitting the post with TLC’s “Waterfalls”; sometimes silly, sometimes serious; “Getting to know you has been a gas”; listener feedback in “real-time back & forthery”; listeners feel like the 3rd person in the conversation; tarantuals in bananas; dad sucked into wind turbine

Salvador appearance: “Thank you for asking my face. I am the assistant managers at the Orange Julius… We have wrapped sausages… I want to deposit it into the mouth of the girl who’s buying it across the counter from me.”

“Bahd” signs at Arkells shows for Tim. “Bahd him right out”

Provide update for fall tour plans: “You and I in a firefly convertible”; small intimate venues; request suggestions about great places to visit #bahdbites –> Love Bites & Def Leopard discussion –> Mutt Lange doesn’t write songs, he writes lists; Mutt Lange’s moving a lake

Sibling or Sib-Lie/Family or Fam-a-Lie Game
– John Candy’s brother Jim?
– Rod Stewart’s brother Rob? (“Do you think I’m sexy?”)
– Paul Gross’s brother Tony? (“a recent picture… looks like Beethoven”; “Looks like Marley from a Christmas Carol… Father of Confederacy?”)
Dion Phaneuf’s brother Dane? (“What didst ya do with the eggs, Dane?”; “I know Dane n them”)
Cory Hart’s brother Robbie? (Jonathan picked the same one for his list)
Alanis Morissette’s brother Wade? (Jeremy has met him! Dreadlocks weed guy)
Al Waxman’s brother Hal?
Mario Lemieux’s brother Alan? (Franglais complaints between Lemieux brothers)
Gino Vanelli’s brother Joe? (“Hey Ma!!” [Jonathan snickers] “This meatball’s lyin on the couch over here!”) Jonathan – “I want Joe and Gino Vanelli to have a show on CTV right now called “Gumba”… Guy, let me tell you something right quick.” Cheap BRIO beer. –> Jonathan’s Jonovision character “Gino Valente”: “Gino, you’re asinine”–> “Thanks, yours is about a 7, 7.5”

Episode 50
Live from Andrew’s basement in Etobicoke, ON – 50th episode spectacular

Introductions of Andrew and his bahds – He’s described as “unique & greasy”; Sloppy’s & The Kave (Male Strip Club with Canadianity names: Lloyd Throbertson, Peter Mainscape, Knowlton Ass, & Sex Murphy; Jonathan’s Kave name: “Flagrant Grease”)

Jeremy references Seinfeld’s Merv Griffin episode

Toronto Blue Jays discussion – “Kevin Pillar is not staying in his lane”; “someone please explain the Encarnacion bird”

Andrew asks about a potential “Best of” episode?; Jonathan shares his difficulties with the recording; debit cards going “banana” in the wash – “forever canoed”

Jeremy shares about Chris Farley documentary; “Why’s David Spade a dick?”; Tom Arnold’s Chris Farley poop at wedding story (as told to Mike Smith)

Discussion on the plight of communication, talking on phones, voice-mails, etc.

Alien-sized Salt n Vinegar chips

Bahds’ Top 6 “House Party” jams
– 8 PM: “Book Club” by The Arkells (Chitchat with Tim Oxford while song is playing. “Did you wheel any birds at River Fest?”)
– 9 PM: “One Week” by Barenaked Ladies (“How many Frosty Soliders have you pounded into your word-hole?”; “…riding the snake”)
– 10 PM: “Downtown Came Uptown” by David Wilcox (“Just sliding into the Denver Hayes…”; “Where’s my Cabello’s vest?”; “looking in mirror, putting on the Brut”)
– 11 PM: “Out for a Rip” by B Rich (“Covers the whole idea of being Canadian”)
– 12 AM: “Closer to the Heart” by Rush (Cab ride between bars)
– 1 AM: “——-” by —-

Lady upstairs thinks there’s AA meeting happening downstairs

Birthday Bahds: Jeremy (April 7) – John Oates, Billy Holliday ; Jonathan (October 2) – Sting, Kelly Rippa, & Ghandi; Andrew (August 26) – Mother Teresa & Macaulay Culkin; Tim Oxford (January 18) – Kevin Costner

Jonathan recollects 4am mornings at the rink, always bought Ketchup chips

Discusses heritage (Hungarian & Holland); Swiss chocolates

The bahds favourite Canadian shows & bands

“You’re full of chips!”

Discussed music programs in schools. Jonathan’s teacher Mr. Hiscock. “Brasshole”. Jeremy’s teacher in grade 9: “Nice job, Faggot Face!” School-related challenges

Episode 51
Debrief of the Bahd’s House – 50th episode

Canadianity & Comedy Tour dates released (driving show to show in Toyota Yaris or “the Ford Fax Machine”)

TnT merchandise now available online (t-shirts, hoodies, stickers, “other bahd-like and bahd friendly items”)

Jonathan’s Canada Post notice story: (“You have to lower your mailbox to 42 inches.”; 10 days is not much time to rectify it – “it’s my birthday”)

Jonathan was “out for a rip” with his padded shorts (“my little secret, wearing lingerie, no one knows”); ipod shuffle DJ; St. Elmo’s Man in Motion song; bypassers wave and ask if he’s J-Roc as “No More I Love Yous” by Annie Lennox blasts out of earbuds; Jeremy teases Jonathan’s music taste.

Torrens family Honeycrisp apple picking (“getting ready for my birthday…” – Jonathan’s October 2nd; Jeremy’s April 7th)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Sweater Weather” jams
– “Rock Me Gently” by Andy Kim (Kevin’s wife (Jono) & Kevin (Jere); finds croquette set, wakes Kevin up from nap who was up late watching wrestling, feeling sad about Roddy Piper dying. “I’ll play a 1-woman game of croquette by myself with the leaves.”) Jonathan recollects Andy Kim’s coffee cup story
– Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill ((Jono) & Melinda from Glasglow (Jere); Honey crisps shaped like Mike Duffy’s head) Jonathan: “Melinda wants to get it goin!”
– “Tom Sawyer” by Rush (Wyatt (Jere) & Region (Jono); 2 guys in the basement; “I think we should go out somewhere. Let’s go where girls go… Let’s get a Pumpkin Spice Latte… That’s what girls do! Let’s get some tattoos, grow some beards…” “that fucking Modest Mouse, that beard music!”) Non-best-friending.
– #gottagetmyjuliuson “________” by ______ (Yarbin (Jere) & Cal (Jono); working at mall, Cal shares about pac-man orange stand; “Maybe it’s here to battle Scurvy?”) –> Jeremy’s “RIP Neil Hope” You Tube find
– “Black Cars” by Gino Vanelli (Joe Vanelli (Jere) & Gino (Jono); “Hey Ma! I got a girl in here! Maybe YOU should get your own apartment!”; BRIO beer, New York Fries) Jonathan cackle laugh.

Poem Sayin’ Game – The Tragically Hip edition
– Jonathan – Salvador does “Wheat Kings”
– Jeremy – Joe Vanelli does “Courage”
– Jonathan – Gordon Lightfoot does “Locked in the Trunk of a Car”; sings it – (Jeremy laughing nonstop)
– Jeremy – Teenaged girl does “At the Hundredth Meridian” (mentions that James Duthie can rap this entire song, used to be in a band, play drums) Jonathan changes it midway–> Jeremy does 2nd verse as elderly woman gossiping with her husband not paying attention
– Jonathan – Mr. Magic does “50 Mission Cap” (“What didyast do with Bill Barilko, girlst?”)
– Jeremy – Alan Frew does “Music At Work” (Alan Frew’s stroke! “He got Frew it!”)

Headlines or Head Lies Game (Head Lice discussion: “Rippin your noggin every chance they get…”)
– “Winnipeg woman convicted of punching security guard while dancing at John Fogerty”
– “Portable toilet moved across festival site with woman still inside”
– “Supreme court won’t hear case of Quebec man who loves to feed squirrels”
– “Man, 30, surprised at McDonald’s prices”
– “Administrator not surprised by fire at heritage building in Parksville”

Episode 52
TnT Comedy & Canadianity Maritimes tour dates announced (What if Mr. Magic shows up and starts talking legal talk?)

Maritimes Conversations: “Well, you know…”; the suck-back ya; sh’….;

Canadian Election Day (Harper vs Not-Harper; “just not ready” boomerang)

Toronto Blue Jays discussion

Taggart Family Halloween costumes (Jack – zombie hotdog; Jon – Pizza; Annalise – Bumble Bee; Value Village bought rights to Thriller and is “going off”)

Jonathan shares buying 2 small Orange Julius for $10; “orange juice from concentrate and sugar water”; “my tiny roommates pounded one between the two of them and they went OFF” — “like melting a creamsicle, but not all the way”

Jeremy’s Burton Cummings story – barging into Tim Oxford’s recording studio 5-6x by mistake, before inviting them over for Mr. Greek’s catering.

Food courts discussion. “Saturday night, the food court was bumpin!”; “People are down with Pad Thai”. Healthy Choice chicken breast (microwaved for 2 min). Jonathan refuses to use passport for breakfast or lunch (“Nap City USA or something doesn’t agree”). “The Fried Whatnot”; “Teriyaki Town”

Jeremy mistakenly suggests that Jonathan drives a van – “Loser Cruiser”; Jonathan’s fancy party with “Firefly” valet service; Jeremy shares costume party at Kate Hudson’s place

Jonathan’s food deals with himself (eats 2 cookies tonight; work it off for tomorrow)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Spook-tacular” jams @ strip club, Popular Girl, in Sherbrooke, Quebec
– “After Midnight” by Eric Clapton: ASSPER the Friendly Ghost
– “Closer Together” by The Box: Slutty Mother Teresa – Helen (Student @ Laval)
– “Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett: Sarah the Firefighter with drink specials
– “Helene” by Roch Voisine: (Jonathan – “this name came to me in a dream, and I woke up laughing”). Marie Josie Billadeau, uses her real name (works at Subway)
– “Thriller” by Michael Jackson: O-Sonya Bin Laden (“loonies & toonies”). Jonathan – “I so badly want to go to that place… It is really funny to me.”

Breaking News: Canadianity Contest Week 1 (for Beer with a Bahd): Submit Most Canadian Costume #canadianitycontest

Peter Mainsbridge & Knowlton Nash image (Taggart found it; Mainsbridge blessed it)

Salvador shirt wearing guy at Fredrock Festival after party –had no idea who Salvador was

Upcoming Torrens family trip to Boise, Idaho to pick up RV and drive home

School discussion. Jonathan’s a “social sniper”; Jeremy’s “non-stop defending myself” fighting, Shawn from Alliston = real tough guy; Jonathan uses Facebook to track people down “member?”; childhood bullying affecting their children: Jonathan wants to shove a toddler, realizes he’s a “helicopter dad”

One more addition for the Top 5
– “Love Is” by Alannah Myles: Julie Slutty Kitty (“Me-ow”; with a dart)

Episode 53
Jonathan’s USA trip; last-minute cancellation in Boise, bought RV in Dallas; Hurricane Patricia; kids enter hotel to shaved headed man in bed @ 5am; “We busted a pounding ring.” “Being able to leave when you want, is AWESOME.”

Tour Prep Discussion (How to break up the driving? What games to play?)

Jonathan suggests “Two-Faced Canadianity” game

Halloween debrief: Jeremy was Super-Dead Zombie, Lisa was pirate; Candy Karma (Jeremy’s toothache post-candy); cloth candy bag with “halloween whatnot”, garbage bag vs pillow case

Torrens family crashed at Walmart (“pourin syrup over poo”)

Canadianity Costume Contest. Top 3 winners:
– 3rd place: Wheels’ Dad – @pyramidferments – Beer Koozie
– 2nd place: Alligator Al Waxman – @jerrymercer – TnT Bahd Shirt, & tickets
– 1st place: Kevin Vickers’ Sgt. @ Arms – @francoisdillinger – Beers with bahds, shirt, & tickets
– #Canadianity, #twofaced to enter next contest

Hit the Post Game
– Jonathan: 99.1 The Magpie in Fernie, BC: “Grace, Too” by The Tragically Hip [“That’s a sneaky sneaker!”]
– Jeremy: 99.3 The Wave in Plaster Rock, NB: “Night Shift” by The Commodores
– Jonathan: 105.5 The Mastadon in Lacombe, AB: “Black Betty” by Ram Jam
– Jeremy: 103.7 The Ptarmigan in Yellowknife, NWT: “What Have I Done to Deserve This?” by Pet Shop Boys [“These guys liked each other…”]
– Jonathan: 89.9 The Turbot in Corner Brook, NL: “Lunatic Fringe” by Red Rider [Jonathan uses thick Newfie accent, on location @ Leon’s]
– Jeremy: 89.3 The MA in Sherbrooke, QC: “Wild Horses” by Gino Vanelli [Jonathan does Popular Girl announcements]
– Jonathan: 102.5 The Raccoon in Barrie, ON: “Enter Sandman” by Metallica [young female DJ – 1st day on the job]
– Jeremy: 107.1 The Heart in Heart’s Desire, NL: “Strokin” by Clarence Carter [Jonathan shares resort story – 1-866-WOW-DEAL]
– Jonathan: 92.3 The Fur Seal in Flin Flon, MB: “I’m an Adult Now” by The Pursuit of Happiness [“I’m sucking harder than a Dyson.”]
– Jeremy: 92.5 Le Phaque in Quebec City, QC: “Dark Horse” by Amanda Marshall [DJ is put out due to snow storm]–> “Birmingham” by Amanda Marshall (Jare Bear & Colleen Morning Show duo on 106.5 The Light in Summerside, PEI) –> “Let it Rain” by Amanda Marshall (“let’s introduce some tension between them!”, “I don’t drink coffee” — “Maybe you should, there, wrinkles!” — “Have another bag of chips with your skirted egg.”)

Discuss Canadian drum solos & best live “woos” (“I want to be a wooer on a live recording.”)

TnT Mailbag: (taggartandtorrens@gmail.com)
– Josh DeSavino: Shared a story about sticking up for new employee with mental illness in factory being teased
– Brenden: Canadian living Caerphilly, Wales loving the Pod, east-coast call-in
– (Jonathan gets the warm fuzzies)

Reminder to submit #twofaced submissions for #canadianitycontest

Episode 54
40th anniversary of “The Wreck of Edmond Fitzgerald.” [Jonathan covers as Steven Page, then as Gordon Lightfoot–> Duet!] (Jonathan cackle laughs. “It’s like a bouncy lounge tune!”)

Jonathan wants to play “Front Page Challenge” with Steven Page on tour, shares his admiration for artists that he makes fun of (ie: Cory Hart)

Two-Faced Canadianity Contest #2 Entries:
– First Responders: Celine Dion Phaneuf; Connor McDavid Suzuki, Russell Martin Shorts, Marty McSortley, Michael Jay Onrait, Jan ArDan O’Toole; Thing & A Face: KD Lang; Last Minute Ones: Alan Steven Page
– “Suffice to say, we ALL won with the genious-ness of the submissions.”
– Chris Neil Peart, Steve Knowlton Nash, PJ Fresh Phil Espositio, Michael Cera McLachlan, Robbie Robertston Davies, Tommy Douglas Gilmour
– Honourable Mentions: Jann ArDan O’Toole, Lanny McDonald Sutherland, Russell Martin Short
– Top 3: KD Lang (#3) – Jimmy Blaze, Steve Knowlton Nash (#2) – Jason Reyes, Wok With Mansbridge (#1) – Michael Fredricks
– Taggart & Torrens, George St. Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Russell Peters Mansbridge, Michael J. Phoque, Anne Murray McLauchlan

Canadianity Contest #3: Take a picture of yourself in that captures “Regina” #Reginianity

“Hold your birds, Bahds, we’re coming right back to ya!”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Mixed Tape” jams
– [Jonathan’s kids listen to Chipmunks’ versions of pop songs like “Party Rock”]
– “Eye in the Sky” by Alan Parsons Project (Holly (Jono) & Helder (Jere) trying to impress Holly; “Behind the times, much? I’ve had this song on my walkman for like 3 weeks!… Uncomfortable, much?” “Maybe the next song I’ll pick is “I’m an Idiot!” eh, Holly?”, “Misinformed, much?” “Guess who just got an A in the clean grasp of the obvious class?… It’s national Go Away Month…”)
– Jonathan – “Holly & Helder is NOT going to happen.”
– [Jonathan doesn’t understand phone plan terminology; discuss frustration with automatic U2 album download; Jonathan sings as Cory Hart]
– “I Want to Know What Love Is” by Foreigner (Kelpy (Jono) & Rick (Jere); dudes lifting weights in basement; Rick references girls at Orange Julius, Manchu Wok, M-M-M-MUFFINS, kiosk outside Le Chateau. “The go away look and the come here look are the same – it’s just how you perceive it, bahd!”, “You gotta build up a Teflon soul so nothing sticks, bahd!”)
– “I’m Gonna Miss You” by Milli Vanilli (Marie-Josie Billadeau (Jono) & Howard (Jere); “he overshot the landing on the social runway”; Marie-Josie speaks Franglais and is unimpressed with Howard’s advances)
– [Lenny Kravitz doesn’t bathe]
– “Beds are Burning” by Midnight Oil (Andrea (Jono) & Australian Peter (Jere); “Can you see I like ya? Give us a hug!”, “I will never be in your bed, whether its burning or otherwise!”, “You like TV?”, “Umm no, I like personal space!”)
– “If This Is It” by Huey Lewis & The News (Vanessa (Jono) & Eric Robata – her volleyball coach (Jere); “Vanessa, let’s just talk about your bumps. Your bumps are perfect.”; he starts wearing eyeliner to be like “guy from Green Day”, snorts rails) Jonathan – “Mr. Robata is in a bad way. He’s completely offside. Wow! Mr. Robata made me really uncomfortable. Jeremy – “Mr. Robata’s got Jian on speed-dial.” –> How is Jian spending his time these days?

Jason Reeves doing a “victory lap” for Steve Knowlton Nash

Jare Bear & Colleen: 106.5 the Light morning show. “Are you gonna be giving away some “Whatevs Salad”?” “Oh that’s mature, Jare Bear!” Play hit the post with “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns n Roses. “Good morning! You should think about wearing some make-up!”

Promoting the “Reginianity” Contest

Episode 55
“A-poddy-gize” for lack of recent podcast posting

Discuss Tour Highlights: Saskatoon guy with “What didstya do with the eggs, girlst?” t-shirt; Requests for Malcolm on the bus; Salvador & BriAshley; Gord; Jare Bear & Colleen

4-banger Christmas tree holder.“It’s astonishing.. She’ll drink like 4L a day.” “Realies or Fakies” ; Jonathan gets mad like his dad.

More Tour Highlights: Tucson–> Dodge Caravan Town & Country; B-Rich (Minivan aficionado), Theo Fleury, Dave Lumley, Bill Welychka (“Smies”- smiles with his eyes)

eremy’s Top 5 “Wrapping Presents” jams
– “Ruldolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” by Corey Hart (Mindy (Jono) & Thomas (Jere); “Don’t you like how he says Rein-Dap?”; “Why does he have to sound like he’s important? He sounds Hangry! He’s always yelling. I don’t like how he’s yelling!”; “Gimme you! Take your shirt off! Let’s Touch Time!”; “Pump the brakes, Borat! Perv-City USA! Handsy McGee.”)
– “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” by Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan (Chatum (Jono) & Markum (Jere); gift wrappers at the Bay in late 90s; selling cassettes out of truck bed; “She has a real earthy quality, bahd! I bet you dollars to doughnuts she smells like patchouli.”)
– “Song for a Winter’s Night” by Gordon Lightfoot (Ben (Jono) & Lorna (Jere); empty nesting middle-aged couple; “Gordon Lightfoot cupped my wife’s bottock and it was sort of a badge of pride.”; “Why’d you get me a bread maker?”; “Back into me and let’s do a standing rocking spoon.”) Jono: “Lorna’s a bit of a hot lookin’ tuna!”
– “Christmas Must Be Tonight” by The Band (Skyla (Jono) & Paulie (Jere) in Flushing, NY: “Aunts get underpants.”; squabbling siblings, “Let me tell you something, right quick… Kenny G’s too busy drowning with girls.”)
– “Christmas Eve” by Gino Vannelli (Salvador (Jono) & BriAshley (Jere); “I have travelled great distances to see your face… Love knows no temperatures!”; “This is like a sex toy! Disgusting! I can’t handle this. This is despicable – a dildo with a foot on it! Take this away, I don’t want it!”; “Is your sister home for the holidays?”)

Uber vs Taxi folks mixing it up downtown

Weird Holiday Experiences/Family Traditions:
– Carter Wixter: Canadian Politics arguments; Amy Templeman: Wife-saver for breakfast; Myles Smith: Christmas morning french toast; Jonathan: Night-before Spaghetti; John Aroji: Mimosas & egg dish; Rikki Fryatt: ethnic dinners – “screw the turkey”; Ben Nived: Watch Muppet VHS recording; Scott Graham: “Merry Christmas-tree”; Wilson Spenst: Christmas road hockey game; listening to TnT; Joe Madison: Watch Best of Chris Farley SNL Special; Jessie Ferguson: birthday beer at Denny’s; Falcon Wrath: bucket of ice cream; Leah: go to the beach; Steven: Air Grievances Festivus style; Bawk-Off: get drunk; Jessica Penny: Excessive laughter @ end of Christmas Story; Jeremy: watching Elf with his kids; Spencer: open all but one gift on Christmas Eve; Joe Balleneski: Ukranian Christmas; James Duthie: Aspic (jelloed tomato soup and cottage cheese; “I feel the bile mounting in the back of my throat even reading it” – both joke in Scottish accent)

Steven Stamkos trade talks; rebuilding Maple Leafs team

2nd Annual Holiday Hum-Off
– (Guy found perfect gift for fickle Aunt Lorraine) – I Want to Wish You a Merry Christmas (Jonathan talks in East Coast accent- “popcorn is better than chippies”)
– Jonathan: “My new nickname should the Garborator… Pounding everything”
– (Reg: Trying to Home Hardware before it closes to buy Skill Saw) – Jingle Bell Rock
– (Marko: Doing all shopping on Christmas Eve, stuck in line @ Orange Julius) – Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree — [Jonathan hates the Second Cup; “Sagrit Cruller”]
– (Stanley: Making a bird house for your son but it’s not turning out) – Silent Night
– (Darnell: Trying to muster courage to give gift to Melanie) – I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus [red light vs green light touches]
– (Noreen: can’t sleep on Christmas Eve; husband Kendall is sleeping) – O Christmas Tree [“Snore much, Ken Doll?”]

Jonathan: likes to yell “hey” in Jingle Bells with anger and tries to stop the room

Christmas Films: The Man in the Santa Claus Suit (John Byner, Fred Astaire, Gary Burghoff)–> Nardwuar had a stroke

Episode 56
“Happy New You, Bahd!”

Jonathan & his family are in Florida, shares difficulty with Januarys, tells about the Welsh guy with the “salad of accents” – the boomerang racist comments

Jonathan’s dog Henry barks up a storm (“small enough to fit into the Sobey’s bag”; bahd-breed; “he’s as cute as he is dim…”)

“irregardless” and “supposably”

Netflix craze: Making a Murderer discussion (“it’s a binge-r”; “a lot of mid-west accent”)

Montreal Expos baseball announcer walk up jams [Jonathan cackle laugh – “it doesn’t get you fired up, AT ALL!”] Jonathan’s mic begins echoing – “baseball announcer function”; [Jonathan cackle laugh with echo]

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Turn the Page” jams
– “Running Back to Saskatoon” by The Guess Who (Forest (Jono) & Lawson (Jere) – 30 something bahds)
– [Jeremy leaves to go pick up his kids from school; talks about caring for the kids with Lisa out of town; late bedtimes]
– “Kodachrome” by Paul Simon (Candace (Jono) & Frank (Jere); pair getting back together after holiday breakup, but list-making in the process) “Frank and Candace are not going to make it!”
– “When I Paint My Masterpiece” by The Band (Keith (Jono) & Charmaine (Jere): East-coast folks; “It’s like I’m lookin’ like an angel in jeans from Mark’s!” “with those big look-balls”) Jonathan – “They’re gonna get it goin!”
– “Forever Young” by Alphaville (Shaun (Jono) & Roberta (Jere) Albertan teachers expressing interest in each other; Shaun mentions eating aspic; “Februaries”; “Maybe we can go to the drive-in Bingo and make some poor choices”)
– “Turn Me Loose” by Loverboy (Prospector Jasper (Jono) & UBC internship student Tannan (Jere) in Whitehorse; shacks/sex in Alaska; “Who would be crazy enough to have sex with that Jewel?”)

Jonathan sings “Tears in Heaven”; Jeremy – “saddest song in history of mankind”

God Bless Mr. Magic – concerned that he might come to the east coast shows

Encourages bahds to weigh in with t-shirt merch suggestions; requests “must stops”

Episode 57
Jonathan’s still in Florida, tells a joke to French-Canadian folks passing by

Jonathan: “Peanut Brutal”

Jonathan’s generator story with Cummins dealership; gets “Bruced”; “He put the over-time sneak on me!”; kind of another dangling so/right on situation; “now he’s all Mister up in my baba ganoush”

Jeremy: “Hanging out by the fire is like smoking 10 darts”; “The Tank Top & Barrel” – suggested bar name or song name (Jonathan’s stage name would be Mason Jars)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Wish I Weren’t Here” jams
– “’Til the Fever Breaks” by The Jitters (Tannis (Jono) & Harold (Jere) sick of the cold weather; “I’m wearing 2 pairs of pajama jeans!”; “It’s like March of the Penguins in our apartment…My arms don’t move cause they’re frozen!”; “I’m sick and tired of goin to bed with a jacket on.”) Jeremy: “Like tannis racket?” Jono: “Alex with the pull-out system…”
– “Harry Houdini” by Kon Kan (Merriam (Jono) & Caroline (Jere); want to meet and marry Jamaicans; “Our curves are something to be celebrated, as it should be!”)
– [Jono: “Bad News Bears!”; Maudite 8% alcohol beers – requests from Corey Hart; the label has guys canoeing from heaven]
– “_________” by ___________ (Jean-Luc (Jono) & Henry (Jere)) Jere: “He’s got 2 kids, too, and he’s only 17” Jono: “What a sin!”… “He’s selectively French.”
– “I’m Scared” by Burton Cummings (Dustin @ La Senza (Jono) & Gary @ Lush (Jere); “1-866-WOW-DEAL”; “Fe-BRA-airy”, “We need a part-timer for Thong Thursdays.”)
– “Hold Me Now” by One to One (Martin with silent t (Jono) & Joe (Jere); “It’s like groundhog day for my bird”)

Sting & Phil Collins going on tour together?

Discussion on David Bowie, Glen Fry, and others who have passed on

Episode 58
East Coast Tour Debrief. ENID waitress/DINER story; Jeremy eats donair egg-rolls “burning onion gut”; bahd jerseys

Jeremy has slumber party @ Torrens’ home; “Go on the Slairs” as a punishment (Jeremy cackle laughs); “he yard-saled it at the bottom” ; “you need a foot stick to stick the landing”; “We put 5 coats of industrial anti-slip on it…”

Jian Ghomeshi trial & domestic violence discussion (Henry barks in the background)

Jonathan’s 7 year anniversary

Simple Plan Sound-check (“How can bands with accents sing perfect English? What if Mr. Magic was a surgeon?); Jonathan sings with french accent: “I can hear too much drum in my ear-piece… Too much bass in the side-fill…I’m getting some slapback – can you turn it down a little bit?” (“Per-fick”) –> LSL: Lyrics as Second Language –> “member?” –> Old McDonald in french: Neep Neep, Ouaf Ouaf (Jeremy snickers)

Luther Vandross sings “Entertainment Tonight” song; “It’s a bad enough song as it is, but acapella is the worst.” Luther Vandross’ bus driver story = “Luther fucked himself gay”

Alan Doyle’der = Jeremy trips and rolls on sidewalk (Alan Doyle as a verb for falling)

Dion Phanuef is traded to the Senators. “Peanut Brutal!”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Valentine’s Day” jams
– “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill (Teri-Ann (Jono) & Dan (Jere) – “I’m leaving you for a tight end!”; orange dish racks; “There’s more to life than bread sticks!”) Jonathan: “Do I or don’t I have the cd – Dan Hill’s greatest hits?”
– “That’s What Friends Are For” by Dionne Warwick (Tracy (Jono) & Martine (Jere); working at a deaf institute; “let me suck your tongue?” )
– “Make Me Lose Control” by Eric Carmen (Rick (Jono) & Collin (Jere): lonely dudes making fun of Valentine’s Day; Melissa who works at Mmmmuffins)
– “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler (Karen (Jono) & Melinda (Jere); 40 year old relationship; both cackle laugh after complimenting each other’s deficiencies. “Your spare tire, your smelly feet, your inadvertant gaseousness…” “The ass-splattering shits you always have…” “I don’t care if you smell like carrot soup that’s been in the fridge for a week, you’re mine!” “Let’s play Scrabble… 16 word score for W-H-O-R-E.”)
– “Forever Young” by Alphaville (Salvador (Jono) & Bri-Ashley (Jere); He’s working in managerial role at Orange Julius; “Let me explain to your face! Why won’t you look me in the face? Why can’t we share a butterfly laughters?”) Jeremy: “The lead singer looks like Jaromir Jagr”

Episode 59
Jonathan’s in Las Vegas, meets real-life Salvador at Starbucks “Jim”; flight mishaps; luggage jam with shorts hanging out;

Jonathan’s hotel room-mate. Wet towels, Baha Fresh trash, Quicksilver baseball hat, (both cackle laugh), Skirted-Egg hair.

Hotel Intimacy Kit Game (Jeremy guesses contents; “Oh barf”; condoms, lube, “may or may not be a cock ring in there?”, “latex gloves?”, “sanitary wipes?”. “settle your stomach, tablet?”; BREATH MINTS! “Does anyone have a CERT?” “That was a great time, thanks! (crunching them up)” —> “CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH”

Discussion about Dave Matthews. “people wearing patchouli and long skirts, dancing in a field, it’s that”; “a lot of hacky-sack playing and those 3 sticks hitting together…”; “a lot Nicaraguan hoodies”

Jeremy recalls a week in Vegas, because Scott Stapp cancelled shows

Discussion on bands that are formulated, copy-cats of grunge, the butt of pop culture jokes, Mutt Lange’s songs are formulated lists (ie: “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?” and “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain)–> “When you make a salad, do you use lettuce, do you use green peppers, do you maybe put in some cabbage, do you throw in carrots? We just wrote a Mutt Lange song.”

Can-00s Game
– “Funkmobile” by Bass is Base (for Jeremy 1-0)
– “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter (for Jonathan 1-1) –> related to Susan Powter from Stop the Insanity fame? (She looked like Dolph Lundgren)
– “Nobody’s Supposed Here” by Deborah Cox (for Jeremy 2-1) –> “I think she’s doing the Lord’s work”
– “Hate My Life” by Theory of a Deadman (for Jonathan 1-2) –> “Who the clam is that? Did Mutt Lange write this?” (Reference to “I Hate My Life” Poem sayin) (Jonathan tells story of older gentleman working in Starbucks who dated Canadian girl in London, ON – who died)
– “Ooh, It’s Kinda Crazy” by Soul Decision (for Jeremy 2-1)–> Jonathan sings “Faded”

– “Up” by Shania Twain –> (for Jonathan 2-2) Reference to Great Big Sea’s “Up” and twitter followers who “Alan Doyle’d her”
(Sting plays NBA All-Star Game — “Desert Rose”; Evander Kane conversation)
– “American Psycho” by Treble Charger (for Jeremy 3-2)
“Corn dope” — Cheap Weed conversation
– “Fat Lip” by Sum 41 (for Jonathan 3-3) – “sweet little kids then 2 years later they were getting right into things – crazy party animal, nutcases”
[Jeremy reflects on hardest partiers: Nazareth, The Trews… The Trailer Park Boys; Discussion of Las Vegas; Jeremy’s gambling; hotel architecture; laundry, etc]
– “I Miss You Like Crazy” by The Moffatts (for Jeremy 3-3) –> Jonathan wants to see footage of Moffatts playing then cutting to Jeremy’s face while listening; Discuss Nelly Furtado’s “Oh Canada” rendition; Burton Cummings’ rendition with beatbox
– “Gotta Be Somebody” by Nickelback (for Jonathan 4-3) –> mock Vancouver accents; laugh at west-coast destinations Tofino, Ucluelet, Coquitlam

Episode 60
Jonathan sings “This is how we do it”, Jeremy’s late with the drumbeat; “see how vulnerable you feel when the other guy doesn’t jump in with the bacca-doom?… I let you hang there, feel so nakiee!”

Jonathan wants to meet guy who pitched “This is how we do it” for Hyundai and guy who approved it.

Jonathan’s update on the “Skirted-egg Pete Rose hair” mafk; shakespearean wig hair, but just around the back; $28 Intimacy Kit; Jeremy: “It’s been a great pleasure of my life… Crunch Crunch Crunch, Get the hell outta here!”

Jonathan tells Trailer Park Boys story from season 9, wearing a wig with McFlurry on bus; Mike Smith (Bubbles) challenges J-Roc to do longest “Haaaaaaaahn” ever

Canadianity Counts: ViewTube Game
– Celebrity Cooking with Bruno Gerussi (17,000 views) [random story with Bruno Gerussi and glass of pee?; discuss best prank stories]
– Al Waxman in King of Kensington (guess: 26,000views ; 56,729 views)
– CBC video hits with Samantha Taylor (guess: 5,600 views–>Jonathan cackle laughs; actual: 52,678 views; guess: 30 dislikes –>Jonathan cackle laugh; actual: 1 dislike)
– Chris Shepherd interview (guess: 3,200 views; actual: 25,500 views, 3 dislikes) [Jonathan’s story about presenting with Chris Shepherd at the Junos; impersonates him by reading Love Inc. tour dates; Both impersonate Alan Frew]
– Irish Rovers intro (guess: 46,000; actual: 46k views – “First thought, Best thought!”; Guess: 212 likes, 4 dislikes; Actual: 66 likes, 1 dislike. “Game should be called dis-likesia?” Jonathan continues talking like Chris Shepherd)
– Night-Heat full theme song (guess: 20k views; 6 dislikes; actual: 27k views)
– Around the World in 80 Days (guess: 14k views, 12 dislikes; actual: 8,200 views, 3 dislikes)
– Seeing Things song (guess: 8k views, 4 dislikes, 12 likes; actual: 2,400 views, 9 likes)
– Canadian Tenors & David Foster doing “Hallelujah” (“David Foster’s having a tinkle, spreading some magical fairy dust”; guess: 300k views, 15 dislikes; actual: 92k views, 5 dislikes)
– Mr. Dress-Up 1995 Christmas episode (guess: 80,000 views, 4 dislikes; actual: 54,000 views, 9 dislikes; “What kind of MONSTER dislikes Mr. Dress-Up & Christmas? Bastards!”)
– SCTV skit “Half-Wits” (guess: 32,000 views; actual: 332,700 views, 1,100 likes, 31 dislikes)

“Bad news bears” regarding winter storm in Toronto; “Don’t go havin’ a jammer, bahd!”

Randy Bachman’s “Taking Care of Christmas”—> Guess Who wormhole–> Burton Cummings’ video diary on Facebook (“Little Eva” clip = both cackle laugh; “come on baby, do the locomotion!” = continued cackle laugh)

Episode 61
Jonathan sings “Jane” as Gordon Lightfoot; Gord shows up in Bernie’s office pitching ideas for 90’s covers; sings “Lovers in a Dangerous Time”, “Thank U”; “Gord Does the Kids” album; sings “Ironic”

Discuss bowling (“Balling”)

Ronnie story of walking 1 hour home after mom/sister get kissed at concert; 6-hour walk after car broke down

Jonathan’s dad left groceries behind, if store didn’t have boxes available

Oscars Debrief (Chris Rock host, black lives matter, Leonardo DiCaprio, Stacey Dash)

“Hart Attack” Game
– Corey Hart; Corey Hart (“Typical me… I recorded the whole album and I hadn’t written a first single yet”); Phil Hartman; Phil Hartman (“Frozen Caveman Lawyer” same SCTV clip!); Bret Hart; Bret Hart (refers to “The Montreal Screwjob”)
– [Jonathan referred to research on Andre the Giant; poop in the tub; “Checking the oil” of his opponents – thumb into the bum – “It’s the size of a corn on the cob!” “It’s like a giant pickle” – “Not shower for days on end and sit on their heads!” “That’s not what you sign up for… that’s not what you want.”
– Mary Hart; Phil Hartman (voice of Troy McClure); Phil Collins (“What does that have to do with Hart?” “Nothing!”); “She has Hearrrrt, matey!” Beatrice Martin “coeur de pirate”

1987 CBC Degrassi Junior High commercial when Wheels’ dad comes back; Oh Henry commercial with electric violin; “Don’t Put It In Your Mouth” kids PSA; Liberal Free Trade” debate commercial

Jonathan predicts Trump winning presidency. “It’s not cute anymore… it’s gonna happen!” Jeremy- “I can’t think of a more shit-hitting-the-fan situation than him becoming president of the States… It’s nuts, cause I’m not crazy about her, either.” Jonathan- “The United States of America?! He’s a buffoon! It’s scary to even think about, bahd!”

Jeremy breaks down Wheels’ Dad episode. “Awkward City!” “Wheels’ dad is about the greasiest… He’s terrible!” Actor: Dave James –> davejamesdrummer.com “We have to get”

Episode 62
Jonathan teaches Indy how to rap; “Go on girlst, go ahead get down”

Jonathan provides update on the generator; “I got Bruced by Brucey in Orlando”; Good Bruce-ness reclaims Jonathan’s hope in humanity. Discuss March Break plans.

Discuss “Letterkenny” – why its good, its Canadian identity, etc. “This union is something I’m really jazzed about.”; Discuss “Billions,” “Better Call Saul,” “The People vs. OJ” –> “Black motorist Rodney King.” –> Yikers Island!

62 Jams: “Green Onions” by Booker T & M.G.s; “The Locomotion” by Grand Funk Railroad (Jonthan sings as Burton Cummings with keyboard);

Jeremy talks about music playing at his girls’ school. The “Get the hell in the school” jam; “Hey Baby” by Bruce Channel; Lord of the Dance instrumental (Riverdance slow motion running)

Jonathan plays 90s keyboard jams
– “One of Us” by Joan Osborne (normal–> Gordon Lightfoot); “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLachlan
– [Barrel fight in Burton vs Bachman? “come at him low, like neck under the barrel… once you’re in sit-town, you’re good”]
– “Stay (I Missed You)” by Lisa Loeb; [Jeremy chuckles/coughs]; “Eternal Flame” by The Bangles; “Lady in Red” by Chris de Burgh

Debrief the switch over to Sunday night Newstalk1010 show

Agin’ the Can-Age-Ian game
– Chris Hadfield (Jeremy guesses 52; actual 56)
– Ralph Benmergui (Jonathan guesses 53; actual 60. “Are you kidding my face right now?! God willing, we should all be so lucky!”)
– Anne Murray (Jeremy guesses 76; actual 70)
– Mike Holmes (Jonathan guesses 51; actual 52). “Boy does he ever fill out a pair of coveralls, am I right?”
– Kim Cattrall (Jeremy guesses 58; actual 59)
– Ron MacLean (Jonathan guesses 54; actual 55)
– Martin Short (Jeremy guesses 62; actual 65) – Martin Short “Whatevs salad” to Jonathan in the elevator
– Monty Hall (Jonathan guesses 83; actual 94)
– Who’s Older? Gord Downie vs Keanu Reeves?
– Gene Becker (Jonathan guesses 57; actual 63)
– Celine Dion (Jeremy guesses 47; actual 47)

Jonathan – “Son of a Gun… Fuddle Duddle”

YouTube musician clips (Burton & Gord Clips)

Episode 63
Jonathan talks about “putting on the do-rag” as J-Roc again

Discuss Louie Del Grande & Jonathan finding Seeing Things tv show “Bible” at CBC office

Jeremy’s family going to Medieval Times for “jousting and turkey legs?”; “1st course is whatev salad”; “It’s the blood vs crips in medieval times”; “Whatst did you do with the turkey legs, girlst?”

Jonathan’s girlst are fired up for the “Bangor Sneak”; partying in the RV; “nice Bruce will fix the generator”

Trudeau or False Game
– Random trivia about the Trudeau couple: Sophie as correspondent for E-talk; Justin acted in 2007 mini-series “The Great War”; Justin is Forbes’ 69th most powerful person in the world; Sophie worked as personal shopper for Holt Renfrew; Justin loves watching “The Property Brothers”; Justin’s birthday is Christmas Day; Sophie lists badminton in her favourite past-times.
Jeremy discusses Rubiks Cubes badminton; “Participaction” badges; Jeremy gets beat up in gym class; “Shirts & Skins” basketball – “that hurts like a mafk!”

“Gutter Balls” to describe things that don’t work out- cackle laughter

Jonathan pitches “Cumm-Bach” tour; “Bach to School” reality tv show; “Slashing Prices”; “Axl’s Garage”; “Thicke or Thin” –> “Thicke to It?”; “Hugh’s Cock”; “Movin’ on Yop”;

Hit the Post Game
– Jeremy: 92.5 The Hawk in Port Hawksbury: “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx [“Full Marx” a show where Richard goes back to school; Jonathan cackle laughs – “it’s a creeper!… Deceptively long!”]
– Jonathan: 93.7 The Squirrel in Medicine Hat: “Hold the Line” by Toto [“You banged it right on the head!”]
– Jeremy: 97.3 The Tick in Port Hope: “Wouldn’t it Be Good” by Nick Kershaw
– Jonathan: 99.5 The Praying Mantis in Sault Ste. Marie: “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears
– Jeremy: 103.5 The Narwhal in Rankin Inlet: “Things Can Only Get Better” by Howard Jones [“That was SICK!”; 4,000 views?!]
– Jonathan: 95.5 The Cat in Bracebridge: “Eye in the Sky” by Alan Parsons Project [mentions Zubaz work out pants playing Atari]
– “Rise Up” by Parachute Club (Jonathan jumps on-board)– “I don’t think I’m lying, I think I brought back the first Rubiks Cube to Canada – like on the Mayflower”

Jonathan sings random 70s one-hit wonders

Jeremy’s Top 5 “March Break” jams
– “Clap For The Wolfman” by The Guess Who (teachers Manfred (Jere) & Lory (Jono); “Collin’s hard on the head, but she’s a hot lookin’ tuna.”; “Seeing your kids during March break must be awk-is-the-word.”)
– “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison (G2 kids – Stevie (Jere) & Darcy (Jono); “Slide me some skin! Let’s go pound some demilunes and take some shots”)
– “Land Down Under” by Men At Work (Mom (Jono) & Suzette/Rhonda (Jere); “I hate this music with the crazy-eyes guy!”; “Digger-do me a favour!”; “Do a quick bump” at the top of the hill with Oliver and do some Molly…)
– “Roller” by April Wine (Janitors Curtis (Jono) & Joe (Jere); “Contraband Check!” Find a tupperware of Molly & take it! “I wouldn’t kick her outta bed for eating Arrowroots”)
– [Discuss the posted picture of people doing it on the front step at The Dirty Dome in Halifax – “He had a bone-air after the dome closed”]
– “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant (Orange Julius on a Friday – Morty (Jono) & Curt (Jere); “It’s March Madness, I can’t even get my thoughts together.” “Okay, Orange Julius Caesar, think you can rule me? Boss me around? You know what?

Episode 64
Jeremy recaps visit to Medieval Times (tomato soup in cast iron bowl, chicken, 1/2 potato; eating with hands; “I’m a chef at Medieval Times”; “Wench isn’t cool, but I’m your wench!”; Balsa wood jousting; “info-tainment”; Jono wants to see Jeremy guest as king)

[Indigo: “Where’d you go, bitch? Get back here, bitch?” at restaurant; her doll “bitch”]

Steve Anthony breaks hip climbing onto monster truck, live on tv; grape stomping woman writhing in pain (“I’ve never heard pain sounds like that before…” “It sounds like she was stabbed!!”)

’64 Jams: “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by Beatles; “Dancing in the Street” by Martha & The Vandellas; “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison; “Doo Wah Diddy Diddy” by Manfred Mann;

Jonathan discusses Marc Maron podcast interview with James Taylor

Jono debriefs his trip through Nashville: saw Gordon Lightfoot at the Ryman; “he’s a 77 year old man in a velvet jacket who uses throat spray”; “hot-lookin’ tuna” is his “new little wifey”; People embracing hockey; running out of gas in New Brunswick; Bangor Sneak; Bruce in Orlando wasn’t able to help with generator, but Bruce & Tommy in Nashville were awesome; Hershey chocolate factory in New Jersey

Discussion about Rob Ford’s death

Road Trippin’ Game
[2 options to road trip with, choose 1 & why]
– Jonathan: (Celine Dion or Drake) “Drake. I would use it as research for J-Roc… I’d like to ask his intentions with Rhianna.” (Impersonating Celine & French-Canadians, with clicking noises)
– Jeremy: (Collin James or Margaret Atwood) “Collin James rolls big time… He’s a bit high maintenance… I can see her as being moody as shit. I’ll go with Atwood.”
– Jonathan: (Keanu Reeves or William Shatner) “Reeves… I’ve met the Shat and he was kind of a, you know, who you might expect… he was pretty curt.” “I heard that [Keanu] got married…. to a guy!”
– Jeremy: (Avril Lavigne or Mike Holmes) “Mike Holmes, 100%.” Grizzly House in Banff used to be a swingers club. “He’s a good guy to have on your roster.” Sleeveless T.
– Jonathan: (Matthew Perry or Chad Kroger) “I’m gonna go Perry…”
– Jeremy: (Jann Arden or the guy from Amazing Race Canada) “I’m gonna go with Amazing Race Guy… cruising through life. Jann might have hilarious moments but she may have some down moments…”
– Jonathan: (Seth Rogan or Jim Carrey) “I’m gonna go Rogan… [Carrey’s] an odd cat. Rogan would be more accessible.” “Rogan would be hot-boxing your car all the time?”
– Jeremy: (Bachman or Cummings) “I’m gonna take Burton… I’d get tired of Randy’s bullshit after an hour…. give him a tiny Casio”
– Jonathan: (Tom Green or Tommy Chong) “Tom Green. I’m goin’ Green.” (He started reality tv and Jackass style shows)
– Jeremy: (Gino Reda or Gord Miller) “Gino Reda. He’s a beauty… [he’s] a Canadianity staple.”
– Jeremy: (Jay or Dan) “either/or! They’re both very similar, which is great!” “Jay’s tall enough, Toolsie could sit on his lap. Take ’em both!”
– Jonathan: (Neil Young or Dan Aykroyd) “Neil Young” “Want another timbit?” (Sings like Neil Young)
– Jeremy: (Gord or Bernie) “I’d take Bernie. More sociable”
– Jonathan: (Donald Sutherland or Ryan Reynolds) “I’d take the Reynolds route”
– Jeremy: (Don Cherry or Lloyd Robertson) “Don Cherry”

Phoning In Sick Game
– Jonathan’s girls have “extend-the-march-break-itis” — too sick to go to school but doing back-flips and dance routines
– Jeremy: Orville calling in sick to Staples, boss is Ashley. “That’s so greasy. Covered all the bases… That was EXPERT!”
– Jonathan: Daryl calling in sick to Urban Outfitters, boss is Donald.
– Jeremy: Kylie calling in sick to the Irving, boss is Todd, it’s Canada Day.
– Jonathan: Satchel calling in sick to Mark’s Work Warehouse, boss is Gary. (the schedule wasn’t too clear!)
– Jeremy: Becky calling in sick to Le Chateau, boss is Charles.

Episode 65
Jonathan’s in Vegas @ Red Rock Casino Resort; alludes to Deluxe Intimacy Kit

Jeremy shares story from 27th birthday at the Juno’s, trying to pull off a man’s wig; compares situation to Peanut Butter Solution movie from the 80s

Jeremy shares several stories from the Junos, including OLP doing the “switcheroo”; “it worked for Elvis Costello, but not for us…” “Whatevs Salad!”

Jonathan refers to Annie Lennox; Jeremy alludes to Jono’s bike-riding story, listening to “No More I Love Yous” on his headsphones

Trailer Park Boys season 10 discussion; J-Roc as Salvador, adopts different personalities,; classic Ricky phrases: “Tronald Dump, 2 turnips in heat, a toe to so.”

Sklar Brothers Podcast guest appearance synopsis

Jeremy shares about playing in charity game (Juno Cup) with Lanny McDonald, Tiger Williams (pulling my hair, “grabbing it and ripping it”)

Burton for Certain Game [Burton’s life-achievement on the Junos; “That’s hurtin”]
– [Burton Cummings quote or not? – references to Neil Young, Gino Vanelli looks like a pirate!… “He’s a hurtin’ unit”; Jono sings Dan Hill; Jono loves Ben Mulroney for taking people down in 140 characters on twitter, “fightin the trolls”, “reduce, reuse, recycle – he destroys them, and I love it”]

Jeremy’s seeing David Gilmour at ACC; went to Strombo’s house to see the Cult play & tackled the plugged toilet which was “condemned from early on”; “I have to empty my back!” Jonathan shares about Mike Smith hosting Guns N Roses after party.

Jeremy guesses the Deluxe Intimacy Kit (Temptation “Platinum Edition”) contents: 5 items “not concerned with the clean up”
– Jeremy’s guesses: condoms, lube, cock ring?, french tickler?, edible underwear?, moisturizer?, pocket rocket vibrator?
– No “crunch, crunch, crunch” mints
– Condoms, Lube, Couple’s Vibrating Ring, tickler, vibrator
– Jonathan investigates newindulgence.com: The Luxury Collection

Episode 66
American pronunciations: Route vs Route; “right now”, “neat deal”

Andrew sent in live audio of the Toronto Blue Jays game (both cackle laugh); Jonathan does the Franglais baseball announcer over top of Jeremy’s English commentary

Take Me Out To the Ball Name Game
– Jeremy reads names, Jonathan guesses if it’s a real player or not (baseball)
– Bryn Smith, Barry Bonnell, Mitch Webster, Mickey Clutts, Larry Beltmore, Angel Salazar, Jim Acker

Jonathan sings “Locomotion” on keyboard; debrief Burton on the Juno’s

Golf or Gaff Game (Par or Bogey)
– Jeremy reads names, Jonathan guesses if it’s a real player or not (golf)
– Mo Norman, George Knudson, Garry Googodame, Pat Fletcher, Dan Halldorson, George Lyon

The Olympic site isn’t ready to go @ Rio. “Peanut Brutal!”

Jonathan as Gord Sings the 90s part 2 (Jeremy names the artist)
– “Every Morning” by Sugar Ray
– “No Rain” by Blind Melon (Jeremy laughs over “it’s not sane”; both cackle laugh)
– “True Colours” by Cyndi Lauper/covered in 90s by Phil Collins (“it’s really bad!”)
– “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton
– “Linger” by Cranberries
– “Luka” by Suzanne Vega
– “Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe
– “More than Words” by Extreme
Farewell to Rexall Place game; Jeremy shares how many times he’s played there & shares story about the punch indentation in the metal door

Jonathan sings “Happy Birthday” to Jeremy as Gord; Gord shows up Bernie’s office to wish a birthday, “It’s somebody’s birthday, we’re going to hang out all day!” Makes a pan of Nanaimo Bars squares, Jonathan: “I love that we’ve made him out to be a problem”; “This is the one day a year where you get to tell me what to do!”

Discuss celebrating birthdays. (loot bags; Jonathan wants a cheeseburger; same plastic mold seats; “How do kids know they love McDonalds? It’s like it’s ingrained in their DNA”; orange drink; Jonathan pokes a smiley face in burgers)

Discuss 1st jobs. Jeremy washed dishes at Reggie’s, helped cousin Elliott sell fake shirts on the street corner. Jonathan works at Halifax Lobster Feast; minimum wage $2.05.

First Car: Jeremy didn’t drive until late – Honda CRV; Jonathan 1986 burnt orange Jeep Cherokee “Rowdy Bushwhacker”

Jonathan as Steven Page Sings the Pop Songs (Jeremy names the artist)
– “Drops of Jupiter” by Train
– “Thank You” by Dido (“Hit it Eminem!”)
– “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera
– “Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child [singing lounge styles, with white suit, grand piano, “Guy with the house in Costa Rica” pants rolled up]
– “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65
– Jeremy and Jonathan sing bits of “How Bizzare”; “Losing My Religion”; “Jumper” “Stacey’s Mom”; “Hanging By a Moment”; “Hollaback Girl”; “If You Could Only See”; “Crazy in Love”
– Gord sings “Oops, I did it Again”; “Bernie, Bye Bye Bye”
– Jeremy shares stories about Third Eye Blind
Steven Page sings “Happy Birthday”

Episode 67
Expo 67 (‘member??) or ’76 in Montreal? Vancouver in ’86. Expo 76 is a cover band. The Olympics were in ’76.

British Puppets with big teeth – celebrating stereotypes, you see!

Microphonies Game (Jonathan gives names of cover bands, Jeremy guesses)
– R.E.M. cover band: Are We Them? (Jeremy shares story of trying to be in R.E.M. cover band as a kid, is told on the phone “tell him I’m in the shower… tell him I’m on tour in Alberta…”; Jono wants to see a sheep Michael Stipe on Sesame Street singing Losing My Religion)
– Runs in Your Hoses: Jeremy shares about Guns n Roses tribute band
– ABBA Cover act: Still Bjorn
– Female AC/DC cover act: AC/DShe
– Counting Cows cover act: Counting Cornrows (both cackle laugh – “I’m so proud of it!” “The big pineapple head” “The original Weeknd with that hair”)
– Non Jovi, Earth, Wind, For Hire, Fleetwood Mock, Poison Cover act: Posin’, Oasis cover act: Oasisn’t, Near-vana
– Mandonna (they YouTube Mandonna’s version of “Like a Prayer”; the whole group looks like Madonna from different eras)
– Nickelback cover act: Poor Man Stealin’
– Counting Cornrows: “alien sized rock songs/sets” on the business cards with “Wheels’ dad as our agent”

Jonathan sings “A Long December” with vibrato, as well as a Beatles Medley

Jeremy plays 1967 Jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “I Can See For Miles” by The Who; “Respect” by Aretha Franklin; “(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher” by Jackie Wilson (Jono: “You couldn’t punch the smile off my face when this song’s on!”); “Penny Lane” by The Beatles (“It’s hardly civilized, I should say!”), “Ruby Tuesday” by The Rolling Stones; “Stop Children, What’s That Sound” by Buffalo Springfield; “Light My Fire” by The Doors; “A Whiter Shade of Pale” by Procol Harum; “I’m a Believer” by The Monkees (“Were they the first boy band?!”); “Never My Love” by The Association

Jonathan does Expos Baseball Announcer guy. Ray Face is Jonathan’s new favourite. Jeremy brings up Gary Googodame

Discuss Jordan Spieth’s loss, showing his age (22); sing “This is How We Do It” again; Jeremy talks about the walk-through at Augusta before the Masters

Can-Teen Game
– Clips of famous Canadians as teens: Wayne Gretzky, The Edison Twins, Alanis Morissette (Jeremy shares how he was kicked off stage), Neil Hope (“didn’t know we were doing the downer edition of Can-Teen!”), Jim Carrey, Ocean Hellman, Pamela Anderson, Jerry O’Connell, (Jonathan feels bad for Seann William Scott), Eugenie Bouchard, “me on streetcents, bahd”; (Jeremy references Dan O’Toole on CKDJ)

Jonathan wants to give away merch (“want to?”)

Episode 68
Jeremy shares about the “flu bug” with some “gurglidge”; missing Sunday night show

Jeremy plays 1968 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Sittin’ On the Dock of the Bay” by Otis Redding (Jere’s fave song of all time); “These Eyes” by The Guess Who (Jono references Maestro cover; Burton wearing Burton t-shirt; discuss self-promotion and record deals)
– “Black Day in July” by Gordon Lightfoot (discuss Lightfoot’s influence on other songwriters, songs affected by world affairs like the “mafk in Korea” who is friends with Dennis Rodman, Lionel Richie in Middle East); “Born to Be Wild” by Steppenwolf (Jere refers to selling knock-off shirts & Ecuadorian hoodies in downtown Toronto & story of being mugged; Jono buys a bed with $1000.00 bill)
– “Revolution” by The Beatles; “Hey Jude” by The Beatles (Jono shares story of UPI Music Camp @8, peer pressure from other kids to re-play the song so they could “get their perve on”… “I had no dog in the hunt”; Jere highlights his lookalike kid in “Hey Jude” video @4:40 next to Ringo = both cackle laugh “it’s so weird, so uncanny! Wow! Are you sure it’s not you?! Oh my gosh, look at this kid!”; Jono impersonates a British accent)
– “The Unicorn Song” by The Irish Rovers (Jono sings along; Puff the Magic Dragon); “Jumpin Jack Flash” by The Rolling Stones; “Dance to the Music” by Sly & The Family Stone (“Sly Stone blew himself up by doing the freebasing… a continued mess for decades”; “they’re picked, preserved somehow!”)

Canadianity Canadian Cover Band Contest – #tntcoverband
– Honourable Mentions: Millie Vannelli (Geno Vannelli), Mr. Mister Magic, Newfie & the Blowfish, Flurry (Snow Coverband), Shania Twin, Covergirl (Loverboy), Rash (Rush tribute mixed with STDs), Trapper (Trooper parody at Popular Girl), Mocksy Fruvous/Tom Mochrane/Mocksley Workman/Kim Mochshall/Mockfetts, Newba, Bush-ish, Billy Semi-Talent, She’ll Pass Jordan, I Mother Girth (“a real dog’s breakfast”), Deaf From Above, Blackie & The Rodeo Clones, Sample Plan, Honeymood Maudite, The Guess Why, Eh-C/DC, Faux Fighters, Platinum Con, Arcade Friars, Gordon Slightfoot, Nearly Neil, Practically Blonde, Matthew Just-as-Good Band, Cornrow Hart
– Winner: Jason Rees for Practically Blonde & Cornrow Hart; Runners up: Arcade Frairs, I Mother Girth, & Mr. Mister Magic

Jono checks into Toronto hotel, eats Heather Modlin’s fruit plate. Jere asks whether or not he checks the tangerine’s oil.

– Frew or False Game [Jono reads facts, Jere determines whether it’s Alan Frew or not]
– Toured with Fleetwood Mac; Has a brown belt in Judo (Jono laughs, Jere: “I could see him throwin a guy over his shoulder… you had low confidence & blew yourself up!”); Co-wrote “I Believe” the CTV theme for Olympics; Was born in Scotland (both cackle laugh; impersonate Scottish accents); **Note that 43:20 – 44:09 is blanked out due to Copyright issues**; Is an avid bird watcher; Is named after Alan Alda –> transitions into Bernie & Gord interchange “Who wants some Butterfly Laughter?”

“Do you ever google yourself?”; discuss back-up drum kits on tour; Jono eyes up Jim Cuddy’s guitars, gets eyed up from tech.

Jono shares decision to leave Trailer Park Boys after 10th season; highlights the show’s origination and how it developed; discuss the importance of Netflix;

Episode 69
Bahd in French = “Bahdism”

Jeremy plays 1969 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Laughing” by The Guess Who (Jono suggests “On the Darts” as a game; Duffy & The Darts is a great band name)
– “Baby, I Love You” by Andy Kim (Jono recollects the Andy Kim mug story)
– “Time of the Season” by The Zombies
– “I Heard it Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye (refer to California Raisins; “those little mafks could dance!”; both cackle laugh; “they were the Geico cavemen of the 80s!”)
– “Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Revival
– “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond (Jere admits to singing this banged up at Kareokee; Jono admits to being “ba-ba-baer”)
– “Everyday People” by Sly & The Family Stone

Discuss Prince’s death. (Diverse skill sets, philanthropy, comedy, belongings left behind, hypotheses towards cause of death, gender equality– “Go Fig Newton”)

Jono accidentally throws keys into the trash @ Toronto airport; gets “bruced” by taxi driver

Canadian Tire Flyer – Lower or Higher Game
– Jono gives product description and made up price; Jere has to guess lower or higher
– Products: Pressure Washer (“Hey Ma!!” Gino & Joe Vannelli impersonation); Hedge Trimmer; Ratchet extender set; Whippersnipper (mowing lawn “with bald spots”; Jono talks about “taking an uzi to a kitten fight”); Yardworks Hatchet; 50ft hose
– Jonathan talks about Scott’s Turf Builder commercial audition. “You feel like a chump… You wanna scrape your tongue!”
– Products: Scott’s Turf Builder Green Max; “you’re on fire, flyer!”; 190L Rain Barrel; 20t Log Splitter (“could you get a leg in there?”)

“It’s Been One Week” since Jono announced his departure from TPB; Jere checks in – discuss online trolls (Corey Bowles is a traffic cop); Jono’s choice to decline any other interviews

Gord plays/sings more cover jams for Bernie: “MmmmBop” by Hanson; “If You Leave Me Now” by Chicago; “Cold Hearted” by Paula Abdul; “Perfect” by Simple Plan

Episode 70
Jeremy plays 1970 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” by The Hollies (Reference to RJ Logan story; “the release into the couch”; “Paradise Towers – Glamourville – Sunset Court”)
– “Snowbird” by Anne Murray (Jere references Anne Murray photo with John Lennon; Jono shares “Snowbird” trivia)
– “Come & Get It” by Badfinger
– “Shape I’m In” by The Band (Jono shares that he loves the development of Gord & Bernie. “It’s like 2 and a Half men without the kid”; Jere shares Sheryl Crow’s “Move” when she’s on tour; Jono mentions Gord’s red crushed velvet jacket)
– [Jono shares about the “amish in the city lookin’ mafk”; aggressively parked cleaner trolley; Jebediah with his loud sighs; “lord of the pee”]
– “Instant Karma!” by John Lennon
– “No Time” by The Guess Who (Jere refers Burton’s Jim Morrison poetry phase; story of Burton drinking table cream to “coat the burlin’ gut”; Gordon Lightfoot’s song “Burton’s got the Gurgles”)
– “Cecilia” by Simon & Garfunkel (Discuss popular musician duos)

CB-See Yah Game
– Wayne & Shuster; The Raccoons; Front Page Challenge; Fraggle Rock; Theodore Tugboat. Discuss other well known regional shows on CBC (ex: Switchback)

Discussion on the Fort MacMurray fire

On The Darts Game
– Jason Priestley; Neve Campbell; Katy Perry; Keifer Sutherland; Roz Weston; Rod Black; Fergie Olver; Jackson Davies; Robert Clothier; Bruno Gerussi; Al Waxman; Graham Greene; Pierre Burton; Peter Gzowski “Live by the darts, die by the darts, like Bowie”; Jeff Hutcheson; Jim Perry; Chad Kroegar; Celine Dion; Renee (cigar & darts); Gino Vannelli; Corey Hart; Sass Jordan; Alannah Myles; Natalie Richard; Erica Ehm; Steve Anthony; Peter Mainsbridge; Lloyd Robertson; Jonathan’s grandma “like a vitamin, every night to shutter down”; John Candy (heavy darts); Wayne -darts & Shuster – no; Eugene Levy; Avril Lavigne; Derek Webley; The Weeknd; Justin Bieber
– Jono wants to know what the official name of “sleeveless shirts”? “muscle shirts?” “Sleeveless tee?” “Wheels’ Dad tee?”

Bouvi-Yay or Bouvi-Nay Game [real or fake quotes from Simple Plan]
– Jono reads lyrics as Salvador; Jeremy laughs: “So frustrate!”
– “I just feel so sad sometime”; both laugh; “One day, I won’t take this anymore!” (Jono: “It’s a deep well of emotions!”); “Do you ever feel like breaking down?”; both cackle laugh; (Jere: “Somebody give this guy a hug!”); “I feel like I’m living the worst day, over and over again”; “Sometimes, my heart ‘urts”; “It seem like every day, I make mistake, I just can’t get it right”; “Why do you ‘urt me?”; “I’m worried about our future” (Jono: “It’s my favourite game in the world!”)

Episode 71
Jono sings “71” & “days of the week” to tune of Adams Family song; “Recycle” song

Discussion about the field trip to the landfill; Jeremy’s trash stealer

Alan Frew is “coming Frew town” in Halifax for 30,000 PC Points; Frew’s 80s covers album (80290); both impersonate/sing like him; Burton is coming to New Glasglow, Nova Scotia “It’s almost worth making a pilgrimage”

Referencing made up Summer Camp names

Reflect on the success of “On the Darts” game; Jono sings as Corey Hart

Jono shares his thoughts towards George W. Bush, after seeing him in Vegas

Jeremy plays 1971 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Sweet City Woman” by Stampeders
– “Every Picture Tells a Story” by Rod Stewart (Jono misses variety shows; checks in about Orlando Bloom & Selena Gomez pounding)
– “Riders on the Storm” by The Doors (“ski” softens everything: “deathski”)
– “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver (“he’s sneaky good”)
– “If You Could Read My Mind” by Gordon Lightfoot (“automatic waterworks”; “this is the song that thrust me into a wormhole… it still punches you right in the feelings”; Chad Kroeger hat tip to Lightfoot; Darius Rucker hat tip to Bob Dylan & sings vibrato; mention greasy commercial for “Live, Confidential, & Discrete”)
– “You’ve Got a Friend” by James Taylor

Fort McMurray update; Jono shares movement to collect/donate Air Miles to support those affected by fires; significant support from twitter bahds to support

Jono sings “Drops of Jupiter” by Train (as Steven Page, then Alan Frew) – laugh at lyrics
– Alan Frew as a Camp Counsellor yelling at the kids “wear the hat, Jacob!”
– Sings “To Be With You” by Mr. Big (as Alan Frew, then Gordon Lightfoot who dedicates the song to Bernie)
– Sings “Girl, I’m Gonna Miss You” by Milli Vanilli; “Raspberry Beret” by Prince (as Gord)
– Michael J. Fox; Jim Carrey; Seth Rogan; Alex Trebek; Martin Short; Howie Mandel; Michael Buble; Carly Rae Jepson; “the guy who played Ed”, Pamela Anderson; Margaret Atwood (“I want to believe she’s on the midnight darts”); Rex Murphy; Adam McGowan; The Property Brothers (“the fun one’s on the darts”); “next week, let’s play Planet of the Vapes”; Bon Jovi; Harry Connick Jr.; President Obama (nicotine gum); Martin Luther King; Selena Gomez; Steve Tyler; Michael Douglas; Angelina Jolie; Brad Pitt; Leonardo DiCaprio; Oprah; Gail (Oprah’s BFF); Rhianna; Justin Timberlake; Jessica Biel

Discuss the Canadian Census

Jono sings “Someday” by Nickelback and “Baby/Bernie” by Justin Bieber (as Gord)

Episode 72
Clarification on Bernie Fielder & Bernie Finklestein. “Bernii” & “Cross Bernification”; “So one artist could feel the burn from two different Berns?”; Captains on ball hockey team

Jono sings Christmas carols as Bruce Cockburn

“Moxy Alan Frewvus” –> Both impersonate Alan Frew

Jeremy plays 1972 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Heart of Gold” by Neil Young (Jono sings along as Neil)
– “The Candy Man” by Sammy Davis Jr.
– “Hold Your Head Up” by Argent (Jono sings as Dan Hill “I’d rather stick shards of glass in my eye”)
– “I’ll Take You There” by The Staple Singers (discuss Sesame Street jams)
– “Freddie’s Dead” by Curtis Mayfield (Ben Bishop leaving the game on stretcher: “big spider-legged mafk, long-ass bitch”; Snoop Dogg’s YouTube diss rants & narrates a snake vs squirrel fight; Jeremy laughs uncontrollably; Snoop’s rants on Chip Kelly & Oscars)
– “Layla” by Eric Clapton
– “Summer Side of Life” by Gordon Lightfoot (Jono sings along as Gord)

Discuss “Tears Are Not Enough” compilation vs USA for Africa – “We Are the World” vs “Do They Know It’s Christmas” Band-Aid
– On the Darts – “Tears Are Not Enough” edition: Gordon Lightfoot; Burton Cummings; Anne Murray; Joni Mitchell (“Turbo Darts”); Dan Hill; Neil Young; Bryan Adams; Mike Reno; Liberty Silver; Ronnie Hawkins; Véronique Béliveau; Robert Charlebois; Claude Dubois; Carole Pope; Paul Hyde; Corey Hart; Bruce Cockburn; Geddy Lee; Paul Anka; Leona Boyd; Don Gerrard; Lorraine Segato; Salome Bey; David Foster; Bob Rock; Jim Vallance; Paul Shaffer; Frank Mills -> “Music Box Dancer”
– On the Darts – “Do They Know It’s Christmas” edition: Bob Geldof; Sting; Paul Young; Boy George; Phil Collins; George Michael; Simon Le Bon; Bono; Bananarama

Enigma’s “Return to Innocence” guy goes to fancy restaurant/will call at theatre, always yelling out; (both laugh non-stop & impersonate the yodel); Enigma guy within conversation & at ball field

Bubes & Biebs Game [Michael Buble or Justin Bieber Quotes]
– Jeremy describes Biebs as a “Mimbo”
– Discuss Bieber refusing to take pictures with the people; Ringo refusing to return fan-mail or sign autograph “tongue went numb from licking all the stamps”

On the Darts – Band edition: All the Beatles; every Rolling Stone; Aerosmith; Metallica; Motley Crue; Van Halen

– Jeremy shares 80s Joey Kramer story of smoking dart at a gas station and diving to safety as car blows up (both cackle laugh for nearly 2 min) Jono – “I have the post-laugh forehead sweats”

Jeremy’s Top 3 “Why Are You Playing That Song” jams
– Teenland” by The Northern Pikes (Teresa (Jono) & Rico (Jere) – Meet up for Survivor Finale after meeting in Chat Room)
– “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle (Darcy (Jono) & Baylene (Jere); “silence bro-dude, let’s just enjoy the silence”; Baylene plays intro on repeat like Taggart family neighbour causing Ronnie to rage)
– “If I Had a Rocket Launcher” by Bruce Cockburn (Candace from East Coast (Jono) & Beatrice (Jere); “Would you frig off with your lashes…You’re so gorgeous you could wear a Sobey’s bag and make it look like a fashion dress from Le Chateau or somewheres”; “Can you friggen put on something to put me in a good mood? This makes me want to shoot myself in the face!” “If I had a rocket launcher, I’d shoot myself in the mouth and put myself out of this misery!”) Jonathan clarifies that east coasters talk like Bingo Callers or Fiddle reels.

Episode 73
Discuss Gord Downie’s terminal brain cancer diagnosis & its impact; the upcoming tour; fave Hip songs – Jere: “Fully Completely”; Jono’s “Bobcaygeon”, “It’s a Good Life If You Don’t Weaken”

Jonathan shares about J-Roc’s cover of “Ahead of the Century” –> “2108: Bounce Wimme Now”; how Gord expressed gratitude for using their song in a different way

Jeremy plays 1973 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Oh My Lady” by Stampeders (“Jon Snow lookin’ mafk”; Jono loves the word “mafk” –> becoming a term of endearment, for objects. Jono received “drop that mafk stuff” message- “SHOTS FIRED!”; “He circled the wagons back!”, Jono sidesteps the comment completely. Jere laughs after hearing it read aloud)
– “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks (Jono – “I’d like to ride a horse to this song”; song always used for memorial montages)
– [Jono pitches concept for Andrea & Them sitcom after he and Carol talk nonstop like East Coast girl from ep. 72. “Andrea, where are you livin’ these days?” “Up in the 6, workin’ at Purolators.” Brainstorm the background for the show: roommate found “on Kijijis”, she’s a “big boned gal”, always struggles with what to wear, considering driving an Uber/giving folks Halloween candy, Lulu Lemon yoga pans; Jono wants to play Andrea, Jere would play roommate, Laramie “like the Dodge truck”]
– “Painted Ladies” by Ian Thomas (“Laramie, where are my Nerds?!”)
– “Danny’s Song” by Anne Murray (she’s confirmed “on the darts”; twitter handle @onthedarts)
– “Dream On” by Aerosmith (references back to Joey Kramer diving story)
– “Stir It Up” by Bob Marley
– “Jessica” by The Allman Brothers Band

Hobo or Nobo game [Jono reads plots, Jere confirms whether its real or not]
– (Jono shares about folks who litter in public. “The Crush, Burp, n Chuck”. “A shirtless, tattooed, maybe on crack Barney from the Simpsons”)
– Jere is shocked at the ridiculous nature of the plots

Episode 74
Andrea & Them: “I Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie & the Blowfish as theme song. Jonathan cackle laugh. “The worst laugh track followed by the worst song in the history of recorded music!” Brainstorm episode scenarios. (Jono finds audience applause; Jere cues laugh track). Both cackle laugh. (Laramie gets a gig, Andrea discusses Eggos and guest list, & Money Mart, Laramie is from “Camp Trustafunda”). Discuss other cast members:
– Andrea’s Manager @ Purolators: Alan Frew (Actually: Andy Jones from Codco)
– Laramie’s Band Manager: Louis Del Grande
– Andrea’s Love Interest: Kritch
– Andrea’s Catch Phrase: “Frig off, Pecker!”

Jonathan reflects on culture shock moving from east coast to Toronto

Jeremy plays 1974 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “The Streak” by Ray Stevens
– “Takin’ Care of Business” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
– “Star Baby” by The Guess Who
– “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot (Jono suggests that Andrea’s Manager should be David Bronstein aka “The Prince of Love”)
– “People Gotta Move” by Gino Vannelli (“Hey Ma!!”)
– “Free Man in Paris” by Joni Mitchell (This song is about David Geffan, her manager)

Andrea goes to Popular Girl and takes off clamdigger pants after losing a bet; Laramie has no “sexual tendencies” towards Andrea & refuses a puppy since it’s too “relationshippy”; Weekend darts “bumsies, called it!”; Jonathan’s convinced it’s a show

#Andreanthem contest: Send picture of Andrea & Laramie: Winner gets BAHD hoodie

Jono sings “Two Princes” & “Smooth” as Gord. “Santana is at the top of my I don’t get it list.”

Hootie & the Blowfish rip off Bob Dylan lyrics. Jono sings “I Only Wanna Be with You.” –> “That’s jacking! That’s flagrant lyric jacking!”

Jere references Hootie’s “13 inch hammer”; Jono shares the burden of men who have “big birds”; “Haul it out, Haul it out!”; “By the way, Manatee City, USA, just sayin”

Jono sings “Closing Time” as Gord. Semisonic guy wrote an Adele song.

Jonathan’s kids are learning how to beatbox

Jono pitches ideas for game shows: Date Squares, Newlybed Game, The Jerks at Work, You Be The Judge, Alma Matters–> Skat talk like Michael Buble, listening to Mel Torme

“He was a butt harvester!” – Recrushing them into new darts; Mike Clattenburg suggests “Call Centre Dart” – professionally made 5-minute darts

Name the Game (Jono describes game shows, Jere guesses)
– Front Page Challenge, Definition, Just Like Mom, Test Pattern, Bumper Stumpers “yes guy!”, Talk About, Deal or No Deal Canada, All New Liars Club, Canadian Idol, Video Arcade Top 10 [honourable mentions: Pitfall, Kids Street, Card Sharks, Jackpot; Test Pattern gifted 2-slice toaster, Definition gifted box of bic pens, Match Game gifted $470.]

Jono Talks About: Yo-Yos; Jere Talks About: Gardens

Jono shares about unidentified creature in his back yard, shares stories about killing gophers and conservative folks in Texas “are you a snowboarder?”

Episode 75
Platinum Jubilee episode (coin-sound throughout)

Jonathan’s post-office is on the darts; Dart Mouth, Nicotine Lips, Orange Hands. “Nick O’Teen” commercial

Shout-outs to Mike MacFarlane for doing website; Rikki for doing episode overviews; Wes for sending Jonathan an Oilers’ replica championship ring

Jono’s Kijiji Scuffle: Mackie (1990 Sentra driving, Fruitella wrapper guy) visits and criticizes the RV. “He was a dick with intent! Douching me out on my own property!” (Jeremy plays “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison). “He looked like the neighbour on Home Improvement mafk”, “Captain Kangaroo hair?”, “Mackie Bruce’d me out…”

Discuss the popularity of Andrea n Them. (Big-boned gal, Car Lashes for Cavalier).

Jeremy raises similarity between “Tangled up in Blue” by Bob Dylan and “Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie & the Blowfish. Bob Dylan = Jeremy’s all-time favourite

Jeremy plays 1975 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Rainy Day People” by Gordon Lightfoot (Jono wishes for John Mayer back-up singer show; references brutal “Africa” rendition by Toto)
– “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin (Jono raves about Chapin’s “Mr. Tanner” jam)
– “Oowatanite” by April Wine (Jere shares pranks played by drummers; talks about his practice regimen “Practik”; Ticketmaster “hub-bub” around Hip tickets)
– [Andrea n Them: go to the monster trucks. Rebel Wilson or Melissa McCarthy would be perfect as Andrea. Laramie plays in “The Circle Jerks”]
– [Jono discusses Nickelback’s “Rock Star” voice-over guy. Family Feud: “What do Nickelback fans absolutely have?” —> Barbed wire tattoos, motorcycle boots, Ed Hardy/Tap-out/Affliction shirts, frosted tips, leather cuffs. WHO IS THE GUY? “I’ll have the quesadilla, ha ha”]
– [Discuss the Andrea n Them poster contest & determine winners]
– “Crazy Talk” by Chilliwack
– “Fame” by David Bowie

Jonathan plays Poem Sayin’ as Andrea: “Rock Star” by Nickelback. “It’s terrible, this song.”; Salvador does the voice-overs. “That’s a cover that nobody asked for.”

Episode 76
Andrea n Them episode: Andrea gets HST cheque, goes to Ladies Night @ Sugar Daddys. (Jonathan cackle laughs) Laramie hates Andrea’s music & spends time on “Tinders”. “Hold my purse, I’m going right for the d-floor, bitch!” Laramie hates “Oh! What a Night” and “Hips Don’t Lie”. “I have 2 lazy eyes, frig off, don’t draw attention to it!” Andrea sweats like Bill Cosby.

Jeremy plays 90s acne commercial – “People say I eat too many chocolate bars” (Jono: “What a sin?! Why don’t I remember that?”)

Jono plays “Buffalo Stance” by Neneh Cherry (Andrea’s dance-with-me jam)

Jono refers to Lloyd “Andrea’s dad” from Kijiji; “knows his way around an F-bomb unlike anyone I’ve ever met!” References “return of the MAFK” Mackey from last week’s story.

Discuss the coin-rolling sounds from last episode. “Crunch crunch crunch” coin rollers.

Jeremy shares about being on “Hero” video with Chad Kroeger. Jere sings as Chad on the phone, “speaks in rhyming couplets”. (Both laugh). Jono sing-talks to tune of “Rockstar.”

Jono’s earworm: Alan Frew covering “Without Me” by Eminem. (Jono raps, Jere laughs!)

___________ Lookin’ Mafk game (& On the Darts)
– Louis Del Grande – Librarian lookin’ mafk
– David Cronenberg – Ad-agency lookin’ mafk (“speaks in question-ese”); Bordain-lookin’ mafk (“BLM, forsure”) – (“1 a day like a vitamin dart”)
– Dion Phaneuf – Quebec City Carnie lookin’ mafk (operates Gravatron, blasts Kiss; Jono in Franglais accent- “do you wanna go fasters?”; also scouting for Popular Girl)
– Mike Duffy – Humpty Dumpty lookin’ mafk; commissionaire lookin’ mafk; head of FIFA lookin’ mafk
– KD Lang – Workin’ at Joe Fresh lookin’ mafk
– Don Lake – Optometrist lookin’ mafk
– Seth Rogan – Workin’ at Menchie’s lookin’ mafk; “straight weed darts”; Know-it-all movie store lookin’ mafks
– Will Arnett – Slow moving Quick Copy Printing lookin’ mafk; East-Side Mario’s manager lookin’ mafk
– Jim Carrey – “on the darts forsure… heavy darts”; UPS driver lookin’ mafk
– Rex Murphy – working at the front desk nights/weekends at motel lookin’ mafk; Richard Simmons hair lookin’ mafk; “hard darts”; Wilfred Laurier lookin’ mafk
– Drake – Works at Canada’s Wonderland & talks too much lookin’ mafk
– Kim Coates – Jiffy Lube lookin’ mafk; manager at Popular Girl lookin’ mafk
– Jeremy Taggart – Nice guy at the bowling alley lookin’ mafk; research librarian lookin’ mafk
– Jonathan – “I’m an Anne Murray lookin’ mafk”

• Jeremy plays 1976 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot (Gord gets angry over a request for a radio-edit of this song)
– “Stand Tall” by Burton Cummings
– “Welcome Back” by John Sebastian
– “Slow Ride” by Foghat (Jon0 shares story about interviewing the postman as a kid)
– “Lookin out for #1” by Bachman Turner Overdrive (discuss Burton vs Randy rivalry)
– “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy (Jono shares carnie stories)

Episode 77
Jono sings “Summergirls” by LFO as Gord & Steven Page; compare with Crazytown, discuss deaths from LFO & Crazytown

Andrea reads “Summergirls” lyrics without laughing; Jeremy can’t stand the lyrics “that’s enough, I can’t handle it”

Jono hosted meetings for Domino’s Pizza staff in Las Vegas; shared story of 9-1-1 call from worried Domino’s operator who noted that a regular customer didn’t call in their order.

Discuss hot weather & dart smoking in Vegas

Jono sees Bob McKenzie in airport; “Amazing Race styles” through customs; Jeremy sat next to Peter North on a flight – “king of the load” with brand new white shoes, “don’t fuckin’ touch my hair”; Jono mentions that Bob was wearing “Ernie & Bert striped shirt”

Discuss success of “_______ lookin’ mafk!” game

“What’s He Driving?” game
– James Duthie – Jere: “leasing a nice Audi… he’s pretty smart with the cash”
– Hal Johnson – Jono: “He’s driving a Chev Malibu, 2012, navy blue, had on the gas”
– Bob McKenzie – Jere: “Hops into Ford Explorer. Fresh 2016, Leaseski. Dark blue”
– Steve Anthony – Jono: “He doesn’t own a car. I don’t think he’s a car owning mafk”
– Kim Mitchell – Jere: “…driving brand new Jeep Cherokee. Paid for with cash.” – “I’m gonna throw that in the whatev salad pile.”
– Jason Priestley – Jono: “Hard to narrow it down because he’s an antique car enthusiast. BMW 2002. Porsches from 60s – old mafks. 2014 Mercedes 500 Sedan.”
– Dion Phaneuf – Jere: “Big, brand new Corvette. Orange Corvette.”
– Ron McLean – Jere: “Volvo SUV. Needs some safety?” [Henry barks; Jono’s kids came home, Jono bails hay, went on a date.]

[Discusses Huey Lewis’ huge hammer; turbo liars; “out of control bullshitting”]
– Ben Mulroney – Jono: “Big Infinity SUV”
– Buck Martinez – Jere: “Easily see him rollin’ in a Range Rover”
– Pinball Clemons – Jere: “I’m thinkin luxury, North American SUV. Like a Lincoln”
– Rick Campanelli – Jono: “He suggests a level of practicality. Like an Acura sedan.”
– Walter Gretzky – Jere: “A mini, the bigger one. Great to drive with great sightlines.”
– The Weeknd – Jere: “A Bentley with white rims.”
– Drake – Jono: “Probably a G-wagon. Mercedes wagon.” Jere: “Military lookin’ mafks. Get in the floor boards lookin’ mafks.” Jono: “He’s got a whole salad of cars.”
– Margaret Atwood – Jere: “A Prius”
– Alanis Morissette – Jere: “High-end series. BMW. Tryin’ to show off…”
– Jon Montgomery – Jere: “He’s drivin a diesel Jetta, a swank one. Fresh.”
– Rick Mercer – Jono: “Lives in the city, doesn’t drive much… takes the Ubers. An Audi, something tasteful?” Jere: “Audi– fancy boring”
– Deadmau5 – Jere: “Stupid Lambo with the colours and the prints…fuck that mafk!”
– Carley Rae Jepson – Jere: “Masarati. Forsure.”
– Chad Kroeger – Jere tells story about test driving Ferarri & Lambo, but gets Miata.)

Jono shares he’s afraid of mice “beads of sweat on my forehead, screaming like a 7 year old girl,” because of his mother’s traumatic event. (Tried naming them, giving them accents. They’re “little terrorists”; tells story of mice taking over his truck)

Jere shares about Huey Lewis’ spotted hammer.

What is Richard Crouse driving? – Jere: “VW Bug… 3 wheeled car? An old MG?” Ross Rebagliati in a VW Van? Jeff from Tea Party is driving a hearse with big rims. (Jono’s mom wanted to buy a hearse = Adams’ family lookin’ mafks. Paint it white = immediately Ghostbusters. 2 Chrysler Cordobas. Ronnie drove a Vega… and Volvo GT rally car. Torrens Family also had Dodge Perv-a-matic 600 & Hyundai Pony.)

Commend all of the submitted “______ lookin’ mafk” submissions. #blanklookinmafk #onthedarts is “an afternoon well spent”

Free on Kijijis Game (Jono reads free item & location, Jere guesses whether it’s real; Jono cackle laughs after discussing “small amount of rhubarb”)

Episode 78
Canada Day Spectacular – terrible anthem renditions: Fabio-lookin’ Mafk in Vegas: “with growing hearts”, poor key change; turns into O Tannenbaum; guy trips on carpet; Habs vs Lightning guy pooches it 5 seconds in; Nelly Furtado at NBA All-Star game; Jays’ Spring training game “tryin to pour syrup over poo”

Jeremy plays 1978 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Feel so Good” by Chuck Mangion (CBC tsunami warning or technical difficulty song; Jono does “Popular Girl” intro for Sarah McCocklan, Miss Chin Picnic)
– “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill (Jono sings along; “this mafk can sing!”; mock the song as Gord & Bernie; read “incredible intel” from Orillia resident’s e-mail describing the true story behind Lightfoot’s “Sundown”)
– [23 minutes that shook NHL: Hall for Larsen (& Lucic); Subban for Weber
– “You Needed Me” by Anne Murray (Andrea talks to Laramie, who’s looking a new fabrics for stage clothing; Andrea eats Pride bagels, Magnum ice creams;)
– “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty (Jono does Expos announcer)
– “I Love the Nightlife” by Alicia Bridges
– “Reminiscing” by The Little River Band (Jere does Wolfman Jat; takes call from Gord)

Rat Piss Lager: “it’s sharp, but it’s cold!” Made-up TNT sponsor. “Maple Leaf Tears Beer, Beaver Ale… Logger Lager!” “just the guy burlin’ on the label” Jeremy laughs till he coughs

Taggart family going to Peterborough to Cottage. Dan O’Toole & Tim Oxford, too. (GORVING!)–> “You gotta be kidding me = Googattabe”

Logger Lager Lite made-up commercial. Logger Lager Classic.

Lake or Fake game
– Jere: Molson Lake; Jono: Lake Chachi (“It’s a fake lake!”); Jere: Cabonga Reservoir; Jono: Shart Lake (Jere tells stories of “shitskis” in the lake, “That’s SO gross!”, Jere refers to Subway guy farting with infrared camera “envelopes the crowd like a fucking bomb.”); Jere: Peter Pond Lake; Jono: Lac Googalie; Jere: Gary Lake (“Named after Gary Googattabe?”); Jono: Lake Darryl; Jere: Lac Sausage; Jono: Logger’s Lake; Jere: Lake Winnipegosis (“That’s real! t sounds like a lake with a disease”); Jono: Peckerwood Lake (“Where Andrea goes in the summer… It’s as cold as a witch’s tit!… It’s a bird turtler!”); Jono: Pickle Lake, God’s Lake, Lake Phaneuf, Lake P————–, Lake Titicaca

Discuss whether or not shriners fight over who gets to drive the cars (“their backs hurt from driving those little mafks!”

Jeremy shares about Menchie’s, abuses the “testers”; Jonathan hates gummy candies on ice cream, swears by vanilla base “as backdrop, your canvas”

Discuss & develop Gary Lake character (Laramie & Andrea’s landlord, drives Sebring, tanned & “kinda happening”, greasy, salt n pepper, “where’s my hug?”, 2nd world war stories, over-aggressive uncle-type behaviour, “Hey Jere!”, takes Menchie’s candy in pockets, “Gary Lake is maybe the breakout start from Andrea N Them!”)

Episode 79
Discuss road hockey being on the decline; wprk boots as the net (Jere brings up Chuck the Boot game)

Jono sings “It’s the End of the World As We Know It” and “We Didn’t Start the Fire” as Alan Frew (He covers “only hyper-fast list songs”); “I wonder if there’s a Scottish setting on the guitar pod”. Alan Frew eats Tim Hortons Breakfast wraps at sound-check.

Jono pitches “MAFK’N” Beer. “Hey mom, can I have another Mafk’n beer?”

Realtor or Faketor game
– [Donald Trump = Gary Lake?; “Have you seen the picture with his daughter on his lap and the parrots having intimate relations in the background?”]
– Susan Jacobucci – ReMax; Cash Sales – Homelife Reality; Kyle & Kendra Kilkenny – Kilkenny’s Kwality Homes; Sherlock Holmes – Century 21; Judy & Greg Ball – Bowes & Cocks Real Estate; Mack Meanoffer – Royal LaPage; Gary Lake – Lake’s Waterfront Homes; Lee Jeans – ReMax; Mort Gage; Su Casa – ERA Real Estate

Jono does Popular Girl announcer for special “SexPos night” (to 1979 jams): Carrie Carter; Andrea Brawson; U-pee; Skin Raines; (Bouncer is Revenge of the Nerds guy); Hairy Bird; “Magic Johnson would’ve been a good name for a male stripper”; “someone was probably BJ Simpson, too”

Jeremy plays 1979 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Ring My Bell” by Anita Ward
– “Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang
– “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough ” by Michael Jackson
– “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band
– “Pop Muzik” by M (Wolfman Jat introduces song, plays “Hit the Post”; Jere talks about cottaging in Peterborough; Lisa gets kneed in the nose; Jono’s kids go to swimming lessons)
– “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers (“Have you seen Kenny Rogers lately?” “Yeah, he looks like a bust of himself.” “He looks like a half-chewed peppermint!” “He’s got the Remo-drum head tightened face!” “He looks like Nemo!” “It’s like the back of his head is a huge knot of the skin, like a man bun but it’s just the skin!” “He looks like Wilson the volleyball.” “Kenny Rogers roasted his own face”)
– “Rasputin” by Boney M (Jono pretends to be 70s CBC call-in show host. “How windy is it where you’re at?” 1-800-EAS-TCOS)
– Live it Up CBC tv show intro

Gord visits Bernie through the window, discusses PSA announcements; sings “SunBernie”; Gord is on hallucinogens. Brainstorm venues to have Gord & Bernie and Andrea n Them. Paradise Towers? Gorgeous Estates? “A little TnT universe”

Jeremy plays “Babe” by Styx (“It’s a me fest” — “I want 3 more layers of me…”)

Andrea n Them episode. (Jono laughs). “Let me ask you somethin right quick!” Andrew has MachuWok coupons. Andrea gives update on the “bun in the oven” and her status with Salvador. Gary Lake drops by for a visit “Hey Lar!!”; John Mayer-naise. Gary Lake gives eviction notice.

Episode 80
Jeremy plays 1980 Jams:
– “Too Bad” by Doug & The Slugs (Slugcology 101; Norm MacDonald Show theme music; Don Rickles “douched” Jonathan while being interviewed on Q)
– [Jeremy goes to Muskoka cottage; discusses how doesn’t like Sheryl Crow]
– “Ride Like the Wind” by Christopher Cross (Christopher Cross & Kris Kristofferson comparison; Jono loves “Sailing”)
– “Call Me” by Blondie
– “Sailing” by Christopher Cross (Jono plays “Hit the Post” as Delilah on MagicFM; mocks the Delilah radio show; “sorry to hear your husband was sucked into a turbine!”; mock John Tesh’s bedroom – “You passed the Tesh”, satin sheets forsure, 4 post bed with red velvet drapes, “perv-goth forsure”, “black straps and one of those fuck-seats”, 4 long skinny mirrors with his picture etched, bowls of condoms)

Hit the Post Game
– Jonathan: 101.3 The Billygoat in Creemore as “Action Jackson”: “The Kid is Hot Tonight” by Loverboy [“…Fired it right over his head!… It comes with some responsibility!”]
– Jeremy: 99.9 The Worm in North Bay as “Jules ‘The Juice’ Johnson”: “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Taco [“You blew me up! I couldn’t even relax!” (Jono laughs!) “I couldn’t even get out the worm!”]
– [Discuss Annalise’s use of “Alert, Alert!” in the Taggart household; Jere shares story of Jetson wearing winter coat to school without shirt on underneath; wears his mom’s beige underwear “My mom doesn’t wear fucking thongs!”; overwhelmed by his dad’s “twig n berries”; “were they uncomfortable?!”; “beige bombers”; Jono got busted for wearing 2-piece bathing suits as a kid]
– Jonathan: 99.3 The Feather in Pemberton as “Kid Icarus”: “Funkytown” by Lips Inc. [“Waxy muthafucker!”]
– Jeremy: 103.5 The Gopher in Grand Prairie as “Terry Trax”: “Rhythm of the Night” by DeBarge [“Totally riding on Michael Jackson’s coat-tails!”]
– Jonathan: 107.3 The Curse on Oak Island as “The Captain High-liner”: “Escape (Pina Colada)” by Rupert Holmes [“Nova Scotia’s most mysterious rock!”; analyze the song’s lyrics – YouTube Views: Jere guesses 2 million; actual: 4.3 million; “why the anti-yoga sentiment?”]
– [Jonathan: “Where do you stand on the term ‘making love?’”; Jeremy: “Maybe if you’re old, if you’re 80!”; Jono: “Do you refer to Lisa, as your lover?”]
– Jeremy: 88.3 The Eel in Antigonish as “Dr. Disco”: “Maneater” by Hall & Oats [“He’s a little behind the times, that’s classic!”; (Jere tells kids to quiet down); tap dances through the intro; “Oatsy, cover me. I’m gonna go have 2 blows of a dart!”; “His face looks like a Mentos!… Looks like petrified wood… Did you eat squid and forget your epi-pen face?… His blow-hole is closed over and rushed to emerge…”]

Gord visits Bernie’s office and complains about Bruce Cockburn performing FarmAid. “You have a celebrity name: Co-Bernie.” “If you Relief my mind, Bern…”; Gord threatens to fire Bernie; Gord sings “Every Breath You Take (I’ll Be Watching You)”; Gord reads Bernie’s letters to his wife; “Live is Life” sing-along; “Does Bruce need a roadie?”; “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gord… Will you? Will you, really?”

Andrea N Them episode: “Someone’s home from work and could use a friend hug but i’m not saying it’s me, but I’m not saying it isn’t!”; Andrea suggests renting a 1 bdrm place with a King-sized bed “we can even paint a perv stripe down the middle”; Laramie buys $1,100 Danier leather pants like Jeff Martin; Gary Lake shows up “Hey Larry”, puts Laramie in headlock. “I’d like to see you put me in a headlock. I’d tie your pecker in a bow right

Episode 81
Mr. D summer wrap-up BBQ party. “You know what I mean?”; “ball of youth on the dance floor”

Jeremy talks about the brass turtle that’s “on fire”; refers to the “guy sitting in the ice” because his thermometer is broken.

Jonathan gets frisky with a giant sea turtle; “it wanted to hang!! …it didn’t feel erotic!”; shares dolphin story about getting “his bird” stuck in a guy’s wet-suit shorts, then 8L of dolphin goo “butterfly laughter” stuck in the shorts, in front of tourists. (Both cackle laugh)

Jonathan’s Toronto subway story with tank-top wearing, soft-spoken bearded man; “he got off before me, like the dolphin with that guy”; the guy was in family court, for not having access to baby — “I wasn’t actually going to kill her…” ; “meek, mild little lamb” who casually mentions “2 counts of attempted murder”.

“Dol-Phinished” – “Crunch, Crunch, Crunch guy” of the ocean, “greasy maniac”

Jeremy plays Top 5 1981 “Salesman” Jams:
– “Limelight” by Rush (Jere: Crunch Crunch Radio Shack guy; Jono: Vanessa; “I think if you turned the music down, you wouldn’t have to be so close to my mouth when you’re speaking…”) Jono: “He’s such a plaid-panted perv!”
– “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins (Jere: Hurried female shopper ; Jono: Guy in Van selling vacuums; “suck the dust in the air tonight in your bungaloo… You’re gonna get more days of your lives back… instead of sucking dust bunnies all over your house.” Central Vac in the van, air drumming.)
– [Gino & Joe Vannelli banter– Jono identifies connection to Miss Vannelli’s pizza; “Dick Docked”; “Shorts are like the inside of a smore” “3 bags of milk in his shorts”]
– “Turn Me Loose” by Loverboy (Jere: Encyclopedia Britannica salesman; Jono – woman in home; “If you show me your dorsal fin, I’ll show you my blowhole.” “Gaze right into my look balls!” “Maybe we should close the curtains and you can teach me everything you know.”)
– [Jono shares about Billy & Linda, swingers in the hot-tub at 15; Jere shares about playing video games with baseball card collecting family friend until 3am at 14 in the basement. “Wait a minute! That’s completely off-side!”; Guy leaves phone off the hook, angry Ronnie picks him up; Jono’s soccer coach fabricated tournament just to take 5-6 guys camping and drinking; Jere shares super greasy story of a young kid travelling with his 2 male coaches; Jono shares about the bathrobed judge who did the “knuckle drag across his bird” – “Yikers Island!”]
– “Believe it or Not” by Joey Scarbury (Jere: Gary Lake as Orange Julius Manager; Jono: employee)
– “My Girl” by Chilliwack

Reno or Beano Game