Taggart And Torrens Podcast: Episode Guide

“Canadianity”

Vacation (from hell) cruise reflections – “Floating Vermin Festival” (Character: Dennis)

Canadian Thing that comes to mind – Jonathan- “Want To?”
(Jeremy – “Come on, eh?”, Jonathan – John Candy quote) –> Significance of John Candy

Rob Ford discussion

Storytime Chime (Jeremy – “6-7 no-shirted guys smoking crack and flexing”)

Jay & Dan Interview

Ask Ronnie segment (J-Roc appearance; “75% of the woman I polled referred to you as studly,” “What’s poppin’? What’s crackin’?”)

Favourite Canadian TV Show (Jonathan – “Hanging In”)

Jeremy – “Holy Boats right there”

Favourite Canadian Food (Jeremy – “Peamale Bacon”)

Favourite Canadian (Jeremy – “John Candy”; Jonathan – “Jeremy Taggart”)

Dealing with forgetting people’s names (Jonathan – Commit to the fake cough, Jeremy – Recall a shared experience; Everything sounds better with “BAHD”, Don’t like: buddy, boss, bossman or guy.)

Bob Dylan Comebacks

Ask Ronnie segment

Danko Jones interview

“Pop it into your Word Hole”

Urkle calls Jonathan “the n-word”

Reflections on young drinking

Jonathan’s working at McDonald’s

Sochi Olympics reflections

Jeff Marek interview

John Dunsworth (Mr. Lehey) interview

Ask Ronnie segment (J-Roc appearance)

Crop Circles

Jimmy Fallon & late-night talk show hosts

Jay & Dan interview & discussion about Sochi

Gerry Dee interview

Callin’ Pranks game

“Crushin it”

Ask Ronnie segment (J-Roc appearance)

Jeremy’s Rick Nash bar story

Martin St. Louis drama

Jonathan recollects a Pink Floyd concert goer story (“Don’t worry about it”, “Hey StreetCents!”)

Jeremy – “Some speed with my legs”

Jeremy recollects living with Sean Avery in LA

Brent Butt interview

Brian Volmer interview

Poem Sayin’ Game
– “Father Figure” by George Michael
– “When I’m With You” by Sheriff
– “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Jermaine Stuart
– “Tempted to Touch” by Rupee

Trailer Park Boys discussion

B-Rich interview (“Out for a rip” & Jeremy’s “sneaky rips”)

“BAHD”

Poem Sayin’ Game
– “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder
– “Kissing Rain” by Roch Voisine
– “The Look” by Rosette
– “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band

Candy Awards
– Canadian word: Jeremy – “too”, Jonathan – “right”
– Food: Jeremy & Jonathan – “Poutine”
– Canadian moment: Jeremy – “Golf & Late-Night Beers with Lanny MacDonald”, Jonathan – “Writing for Juno Awards, David Suzuki and Bruce Cockburn introducing Gordon Lightfoot; getting shutdown by Gordon Lightfoot

Ask Ronnie segment

Solange & Jay-Z in elevator video role play

Callin’ Pranks Game

Edmonton Oilers discussion

“Dangling So”

E-mail Blunders (Jonathan – “Wah Wah, My Pussy Hurts”)

Ceiling Falling on Ronnie

“Polar Grizz”

Jersey Shore “Abters”

Embarrassing Gigs (Jonathan’s role at Reality TV Show Awards–>Danny Bonaduce; Jeremy’s bar mitzvah drum solo)

House renovations

Disability acting roles (Rosie O’Donnell “Riding the Bus With My Sister”)

Over & Under Game
– Musician: [Over-rated| Jeremy – “Pharrell – ear worm guy”, Jonathan “Coldplay”| Under-rated| Jeremy -“Smokey Robinson”, Jonathan – “Bruce Hornsby”]
– Actor: [Over-rated| Jeremy – “Jared Leto”, Jonathan – “Justin Timberlake” |
Under-rated| Jeremy – “Kristoph Waltz”, Jonathan – “Steve Buscemi”]
– Sports: [Over-rated| Jeremy – “Tiger Woods”, Jonathan – “Alex Ovechkin” |
Under-rated| Jonathan – “Edmonton Oilers (David Parron)”, Jeremy – “Anthony Gose”]

Jeremy’s drinking history; discussion on getting banged up

Stompin’ Tom Connors

Jonathan recollects meeting Queen Elizabeth

Harry’s Mail Bag
– Different Career Path: Jeremy – chatting/talking; Jonathan – Stockbroker
– Significance of #7: Jeremy – Born on 7:57 on April 7th, wore it in baseball, Mickey Mantle wore it
– Street Cents old vs new: Jonathan – preferred old version
– Partied in Sudbury: Jeremy – Yes
– Stories from Joe Schmo set: Jonathan – Finale Bust
– Keytar vs harmonica hands-free headset: Jonathan – Keytar
– Nicest Celebrity: Jeremy – Alvin Jones; (Rita McNeil); Jonathan – Jason Priestly, Jenny McCarthy
– Least Nice Celebrity/Biggest Jerk: Jeremy – Flea (“big timing”); Jonathan – Backstreet Boys @ the Junos

The problem with karaoke

J-Roc’s new rap “CYT (Clap Ya Turdcuttah)” – recorded in laundry room

Finishing up the school year/places to visit in the summer (Jeremy’s son – “FREEEEDOMMMMM”)

“Take care, Bahd!”

Jonathan – “You’ve been blessed with the gift of the gab, bahd, if I do say!”

State of music industry and entertainment (getting rid of landlines; TV->Netflix)

Jonathan’s “3 Prong Recipe” for Career Choices: Fun, Money, Challenge (any 2/3)

Bumping into TnT supporters

Jeremy playing @ charity golf tournament with Staal family; Canadian PGA tour

Chile–> Cheel-ay

Summertime adventures with kids (Jeremy – “Cruisin’ in the Parks”)

Suggesting names for Jeremy’s new rock combo; (Jonathan – “Handbag, Sac a Main, Overhead Bins, The Irony”); #namejeremysband

Current state of TV shows (Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory)

Jann Arden “Unloved” duet story

Laugh tracks on “Intervention” (Street Cents removed laugh tracks from Friends, put it on Law & Order); Jeremy – “The worse it gets, the bigger the laughs are!”

Live Woos; Jonathan – “I’ve always wanted to be a woo’er on a live record.”

Jeremy featured on Chad Kroeger’s “Hero” music video (photo shopping Josey Scott’s ass; Jennifer Lopez’s “cottage cheese factor”)

Mutt Lang’s list making songs; Chadville’s songwriting

Sum41 on Jonovision (Jonathan checking out their moms); the end of Jonovision

80s Sitcom Theme Songs Game
– Growing Pains (Alan Thicke song; Kirk Cameron ultra-religious)
– Family Ties (Jeremy – “Remember that had the cheesy like they were hippies and they were real go-getters, and then they turned into like regular yuppies…”
– Barney Miller
– Nightcourt
– 227
– Webster
– Mister Belvedere (Marilyn Manson?)
– Who’s the Boss?

Kid on Vine (Plastic spoons on the eye sockets; “mmm – blocking out the haters!”)

Jonathan’s Top 3 “Could’ve Beens”: John Stamos sitcom (regular cast member); Nightly talkshow on CNN; The Soup; Audition for Reality Show – House Busters;

“Is This Really Happening?” stories
– Jeremy – someone in band losing it on an airplane smoking joint on Californian beach running into the cops –> overnight in jail
– Jonathan – pulled over by CHP (Californian Highway Patrol), the tests that “I can’t even do sober”; G7 conference in 90s (Bill Clinton look-a-like) –> hosting post-conference conference and having to kill time between band sets (7 minutes in front of 70, 000 people). “It was bad news bears.”

Jonathan’s new country band (Shortlisted Names: Miniature Ponies & Giddy Up) “whack away on the Gibson Hummingbird”

Jeremy’s new band name Tweet suggestions: J-Bahds, The Bahds, A Couple of Bahds, The Fords, The Ronnies, 12th Storey Massacre, Holy Boats

Rob Ford update

Jonathan recollects hosting CBC’s AIDS Care show for teens (Snow flew in from Jamaica; “big times” the hotel; 3-4am partying; return to hotel to middle-aged women in their room; Snow was arrested the night before the performance; Sexpert Sue Johanson put tire-sized condom over Jonathan in a giant penis suit, photographer takes photos with Snow; best songs are ones that sound like children’s nursery rhymes; “ very playgroundy”)

Jeremy’s Musical Guilty Pleasures; “force feeding musical vegetables”

Jonathan recollecting his daughters singing Spice Girls

GagnYES or GagNON Game (Impersonator Andre Philippe Gagnon)
– “We Are the World” – Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie, Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nelson, Tina Turner, etc.
– “My Heart Will Go On” – Celine Dion
– George W. Bush
– “Rocket Man” – Elton John
– “We Are the World” – Bruce Springsteen
– “Wild Horses” – Rolling Stones
– Pink Panther song

Getting Boat License

“Fucks Sakes” as a band name

OK Blue Jays song

“Boots n Hearts” Country Music Festival
– EMT lady– Airborne skin reaction/infestation/allergy “candles”
– EDM discussion

Jeremy’s festival Ecstasy experience

Saved By The Bell movie
– Dustin Diamond’s book which stirred the pot, adult film “Screetched,” life after Saved by the Bell, stand-up comic, (Jonathan – “I don’t even mean to diss the guy, because I am like one bad decision away from working at Burrito Jack’s.”
– Mario Lopez: Terrible awards “Lopezies”; “big smile with the dimples”; Mari-Yes or Mari-No Game
– Dustin Diamond: Chuckle Factory gig, “I am famous actor… you have pro-bla-bee seen me on tv.”

Jonathan’s Worst Fear: Computer taken into custody, Judge asks “did you or did you not search DustinDiamond.com?”

Sobey’s reflections (upscale Jewish grocery store in Toronto; Jonathan made dress for his daughter; negotiating with “Inspector Killjoy” for 150 burger patties)

Jonathan hosting “Crew-BQ” for Mr.D crew (Giant Tiger: Washer Toss, Bean Bag Game, Lawn Darts, “Cart Guy Carl” gives 5% off, soccer-baseball)

Mario or Jennifer Lopez Quote Game (Lopez or No-Pez, Mari-Yes/Mari-No)

George Lopez Joke Quote (jokes4us.com – “ethnic jokes”)

Miniature Ponies 1st gig

Peter Mainsbridge’s private audience with the Pope; mistaken for President of Poland

Jonathan’s Trailer Park Boys hotel room story (“Love at First Diss”; walking in on “one of the dudes from one of Canada’s best known bands” having sex)

“When you’re touching that remote, you’re pushing old load.”

Hotel Concierge’s weirdest request: litre of maple syrup and saran wrap

MuchMusic’s 30th anniversary reflections (Past Vjs, Speaker’s Corner, music-based coverage –>media/pop culture coverage)

Jonathan’s birthday plans for Battle of Alberta season opener

Summer festivals (“shake down, take down,” “Dry Humperies,” Concert on the Hill, Marti-Gras on Argyle Street)

Dan Gallagher – “He liked to pound some frozen soldiers”

Jonathan’s – “Over-laughinsating”

Can80’s Videos game
– Northern Lights – “She Ain’t Pretty”
– Lee Aaron – “Whatcha Do to My Body”
– Haywire – “Dance Desire”
– Doug and the Slugs – “Too Bad”
– Frozen Ghost – “Dream Come True”
– Gowan – “Strange Animal”
– Paul Janz – “Every Little Tear”
– Platinum Blonde – “Cryin Over You”
– Barney Bentall – “Something to Live For”
– Skidrow – “I Remember You”
– Phil Collins – “Take Me Home”

Jeremy recollects going to the washroom, wearing werewolf costume, missing 4am intro. “Whatev salad”

Replacement lead singers (Gowan for Styx, Arnel for Journey)

Phil Collins – “FANKS”

Sting’s solo efforts “de-valued” the stock of the Police; has dinner at a huge table with a throne. “Can you pass the asparagus? Can you pass the Kale chips? Do you like the Sirloin? Have you tried the Brussel Sprouts?” “THANKS”

Sting’s kid is a total brat: “Fuck off” “Would you like some eggs n beans?” “Fuck off, you’re not my mum!” (Jonathan: “Why are Sting’s kids so angry?!”)

Cavalia horses dancing to “Cotton-Eyed Joe”

Apple iPhone6 release with inclusion of U2’s new album– Bono needing to tap out; “promo not dough”; the iWatch

Discussion on materialism

Copycat Songs: “When does ‘inspired by’ turn into ‘flagrantly stealing?’”
– “Stay with Me” by Sam Smith –> “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty
– “Dani California” by Red Hot Chili Peppers –> “Last Dance With Mary Jane” by Tom Petty

2 Truths & 1 Lie Game
– Jonathan: 1st concert was Chuck Pride; Took ballroom dancing for 2 years; Has Jonovision logo tattooed on ankle
Jeremy: Met Neil Young; Met Mick Jagger; Met Bob Dylan
– Jonathan: Spit on by a camel; Dated Stephanie Kaye from Degrassi; Tried out for Soul Decision
– Jeremy: Pissed on a rack of mink coats; Pissed on a man’s leg under table; Pissed on a sleeping friend

Karate chops in hotel room closets

Can-80s Commercials Game
– Health Canada – Anti-Drinking Ad (Dad goes from “Zero to Dicksty”
– Canadian Tire – picking hockey teams (Albert gets overlooked)
– 1987 Eggs – Raging dad + Eggs = happy
– Aztar – “Feast your sound-holes on this”
– Log Driver’s Waltz – “member?”
– Whisper2000 Hearing Aid
– Maple Leaf Bacon – “Bacon getcha, eh?”

#ALSCHALLENGE – Jeremy’s Ice Bucket Challenge story

Jonathan discusses Oilers season opener with 1984 team in attendance; high cost NHL tickets

Jon Stewart convention

NFL discussion: media/tabloid coverage; domestic violence, “beating kids,” & Michael Sam situation; lack of response; short player lifespan

Discussion of Rob Ford being diagnosed with cancer

Thigh gaps and bellies: Jeremy – “women are finding that Randy look… they get randy over randy! They like the barrels! If you don’t have the barrel, they won’t look atcha…. They like the big poncho!”; crack weight-lifting

Seedy, rich barrelled business men in Yorkville; Adult films being filmed in the Hyatt on King; listening to Ke$ha or Pitbull; 5000 thread count shirt

3 things Jonathan’s not into: Camping, Bay Street, & Vancouver

Can90’s Videos Game
– Crash Test Dummies – “Superman’s Song” (both picked; 90’s Superman references; Brad likes “to pound frosty soldiers”)
– Rita McNeil – “It’s a Working Man I Am”
– The Tea Party – “Temptation” (Jonathan had “Sister Awake” as next pick;)

[Jeremy’s favourite comedy acts: SETV, Kids in the Hall, Jeff Martin; Jonathan agrees, except Burton Cummings for 3rd pick)
– Our Lady Peace – “Life” (J-Roc samples the song for 1st Trailer Park Boys movie; Jonathan’s love of hybrid words/wordplay)
– Moxy Fruvous – “King of Spain” (Jonathan confuses them with Carmen San Diego house band, Rockapella)
– Spirit of the West – “Home for a Rest” (Lead singer with Alzheimers)

Massey Hall: Jonathan as J-Roc; Jeremy performing 8-minute drum solo (gig with Jay Baruchel & Matt Good) – Drum solo etiquette

“Sharp Dressed Man Wedding Drummer” video on YouTube (Rick Kay and the Allnighters. Jonathan – “he brought uzi to a kitten fight”; Jeremy – “isn’t that the guy that looks like Mr. Perfect, the wrestler?!”)

Jonathan – “Aren’t drummers kinda like the goalies of the hockey world?”

Phil Collins – Cheesy Disney Shit; overall good drummer; “Take Me Home”

Jeremy reflects on 90s beef with Matt Good

Analysis of the tweet highlighting supposed tension (Jonathan – “I laugh like an 8 year old girl so it doesn’t happen often, but when it happens, it’s great… Like, I cackle like a hyena…”)

Live Tweet questions
– Favourite Winter Activity– Jeremy: tobogganing, “no vertical drops on the sledsie”; Jonathan: tobogganing, outdoor rink pick-up hockey “proud tradition of ‘who gets Albert?’”, big-time myself by renting out 1st Kraft Hockeyville rink for $60/hour

Which sounds better? Torrens & Taggart vs Taggart & Torrens; Kevin/Jill; Tracey/Stewart; Laird/Sasha; Tim/Chrissy; Amanda/Tommy; Kate/Brady; Linda/Larry; Kyle/Mary; Gretta/Barry; Tracey/Tom. “Add the N first: N-Kevin & Amanda”. De-Shawn/Le-Kevin; 2 kids named Easton & Weston. “My son, N-Brent.” Hanque. N-Kelly. (Le-A –>LeDasha). “Y’all Jealous.” Noreen/Nick. Noreen/Norbert. M-Nick/M-N-Kelly. N-Randy. M-NeShawna. (“Tattered & Torn”)

Can70’s Videos Game (Terrible Name Game)
– Anne Murray – “Danny’s Song (Even Though We Ain’t Got Money)”
– The Stampeders – “Wild Eyes” –> (Red Hot Chili Peppers “Can’t Stop”; Jeremy’s Accapella Chili Peppers; Jeremy admits he recorded the TnT theme song. )
– Chilliwack – “Fly at Night”
– Gino Vanelli – “I Just Wanna Stop” (Best chest hair and longest sound checks in Canadian history; Eugene Levy’s skit turning into gorilla–>Schitt’s Creek)
– Triumph – “Lay it on the Line” (J-Roc’s new album name: Escalades & Accolades)
– Trooper – “The Boys in the Bright White Sports Car” (Jeremy – “Holy Boots”; gratuitous piano intro)(Jonathan hates “Oowatanite” – April Wine cover)

Jonathan guest hosting Q with Andy Kim (SoCan mug); 2 months later, CBC security calls and requests to FedEx it back.

“Chad-Vil” divorce. (Avril – “Sea-monkey sized wisp of a thing”)

Jeremy reminisces bout touring with rap acts

Live Tweet questions
– Gary Hogan asks Best Live Concert – Jonathan: Dire Straits, Leona Boyd, Paul Simon, Paco de Lucia; Jeremy: Elvin Jones, Jeff Buckley, Page & Plant, Radiohead

“Keep blockin out the haters!!”

Jeremy’s 14 year old “fake-sex” story: “In actuality, I was the worst and had zero game.”

Jonathan shares about his week in Yellowknife and Oilers’ season opener (Barney Bentall; no caribou meat around- “if you’ve ever jammed a caribou burger into your pink mouth , that’ll set you straight real quick”; “dope MCs in the ‘knife”; Oilers team analysis; jersey-throwing fan lost his iPhone – “Screw You Guys! Nooooooo!”)

Toronto Blue Jays update

Leaving a game early to beat the parking

Milan Lucic’s distasteful act. (“Thrown load”; “like a Dr. J skyhook over the glass…coating the folks in imaginary load”)

Oilers Fan from Athabasca felt up Jay Onrait’s sister in high school

Poem Sayin’ 2000s edition
– “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne (“frust-rated” vs “frustrated”)
– “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed (Jonathan: Describe the woman who’s writing a FB post “So psyched for Creed tonight with the girls.” Jeremy: Linda, works at Target, wearing home Avalanche jersey, likes big red screw-off beer can)
– “Drinking in LA” by Bran Van 3000
– “Hot in Here” by Nelly (Nelly hitting on Jenny McCarthy; flying 1st class shirtless; “Maybe it was getting hot in thurrrrr”)
– “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter (1-hit wonders; Dexy’s Midnight Runners – “Come on Eileen”)
– “Beautiful” by James Blunt (James Blunt’s party lifestyle)

Halloween Costumes (Jeremy’s kids – Black Grim Reaper Thing, zombie-ing it up; Jonathan’s kids – fairy, Red Riding Hood; Jonathan wanting kids to go as bag of garbage or compost; Best Costume: Exploding suitcase; Jonathan’s Hearing-impaired costume, Jeremy’s ocean costume, drunk Ronnie’s Frankenstein costume)

Jim Carrey hosting SNL (“landed a segway”; strained presentation/difficult for writers; funny cast not being used; Jonathan’s all-time favourite SNL cast members: Bill Hader & Kristen Wiig; Mark McKinney having pedigree but not cutting it on SNL; eavesdropping Farley, Sandler, Spade, & Chris Rock in a restaurant “no holds barred trying to entertain each other”)

David Spade & Jonathan’s friend on a date: “Big Mama’s House 2” to see trailer for his new movie; “no hammer time, that was it…”

Post “Tom-Kat” wedding: Jim Carrey wanted to “usurp it and make it look stupid” by renting 2 studios at Warner Brothers – Winter Wonderland (ice skating rink, reindeer, In&Out burger truck, actual snow storm, 1800s little people carolling, penguins, etc) & Over the Top money spending. (Morgan Freeman “they are birds, but cannot fly”; Tom, Katie, and Tom’s mom show up – Katie “a full head taller than Tom on skates” Tom skates “amazingly,” swooshes over, gets down, Footloose style and “Mission Impossibled her”, putting jacket under her head. “The party was validated by his very presence.”

Jimmy Fallon – “jumped too soon” into film career from SNL

Dukes of Hazzard co-stars John Schneider and Tom Wopat record Jazzy Christmas album (Jonathan: “It’s just ill conceived and a bad idea”)

David Hasselhoff & 9-11 story (invested $40 mil of his own money on Pay-per-View special in North America which aired on September 11th)

Jeremy gives advice to up-and-coming musicians

Jon Bon Jovi – “Would sell his grandmother for a hit song”; “’member?”

Carrey or Don’t Carrey Game –> Carrey or Not Carrey
– Quotes from Jim Carrey or Carrie Fisher; “jam this in your word holes”; Drew Carey; Carey Price; Mariah Carey; “two happy households is better than 1 unhappy one”; “there’s another one of the sad sackers”; “kinda downer city doing the Carrey thing”

Name a Mariah Carey song Game

Story behind “Awesome”: Jonathan recollects a t-shirt; Jeremy shares about a place in the woods – “Mom, can I go to Awesome?”

Jonathan’s truck rental company: RollingProductionRentals.com; Jeremy: “that is a horny idea and visually logo horny.” Jonathan: “I’m now a trucker who dabbles in tv.”

Getting on iTunes: open up “a whole new world”

Jeremy playing in a cover band with 50 year olds at 15 (kicked out for being too young; “Tell him I’m in Calgary on tour” while in the shower)

Jonathan recollects when he felt the most pressure: Being DJ for 15 year old kids wanting to get it on during slow jams; “Let it Be”; “Put it back to the start!”

Tarzan vine-to-vine of stories

Jian Ghomeshi discussion
– Jonathan – “You have a poo sandwich” – Comparing to kids in lunch room with leftover pizza or fun things. CBC just lost Hockey Night in Canada & Strombo – desperate not to lose Jian. What he brought to CBC must’ve been “so heinous”.
– Jesse Brown smoke-show “I have a big story” = Jian’s Facebook post (so sure “big story” was about him)
– “You’re a Strange Ji-animal”
– Jeremy – “We could be dealing with Canada’s biggest sex offender in it’s history…”
– Jian’s preferences for on-air hosting; unpredictable; respectable workload was “astonishing”; controlling guests if he wasn’t there; culture of protection for Jian
– Jonathan – Jian called in 2000 to discuss “legacy”; recalls “heinous” e-mail interchange between random female Facebook friend and Jian: “A date would be fun, but no monkey business for 6 months….” His response “so, just to be clear, you can’t s— my c— for hours while I l— your p—-.”

Suggestions for new Q host: Jonathan Torrens? Peter Gzowski? Shad? Norm MacDonald? Buck 65? Tom Power? Jann Arden? Wab Kinew? Piya Chattopadhyay? -Jeremy would change the name to “H”

Jonathan’s love of Bill Clinton “Bubba”

Jonathan teases Jeremy for loving “Two & a Half Men”

“Who’s On Mainsbridge” Game (Peter Mainsbridge “voice of reason and soothingness”)

Ford Brother; Geddy Lee; Gordon Lightfoot; Sidney Crosby; Barack Obama (both picked)

Jeremy’s grandma “had a thing for Mick Jagger” t-shirt

“Not allowed lendin’”

Adidas Rugby pants (Grey with purple stripes while everyone else had navy ones. “Might as well be an albino pigeon”)

Bully Remorse (Jonathan’s childhood bully Vince – “Hard to look cool with tears in your eyes; sitting in the middle of the backseat; in a headlock”.) Jeremy’s hair pulled so hard it felt good. Jonathan’s Grade 8 bully was sleeping with the teacher, would drive her car (“I’m gonna fulligan kill you”). Jeremy’s bully pounded head against cement wall “like a Roman bully”. Teachers with liquor/dart breath. Jeremy’s teacher snapped and started hitting golf balls through the window.

Jonathan gets put in the A-team basketball game – (Mr. Gannan – “just don’t touch the ball”); Jeremy’s creepy, strange pedophile baseball coach; Jonathan’s first drink of hard liquour was with soccer coach who fabricated a tournament to take group camping

The 1st Annual Greasies (Greasiest spots in Canada)
– “If you hung out at pool hall, under 15, you were smoking darts”
– The Dome in Halifax: “Perfect Storm of bad ideas”; “It’s a Dry Humperie of Epic Proportions”; “It’s a place where people go to fight and make love – sometimes with the same person”
– The Brunswick House: Jetson’s drunk dancing in cowboy boots to Pearl Jam; kicking over pizza signs; throwing garbage cans; young Mr. Miogi look-a-like stretching, prepping to run
– Lord Nelson Beverage Room: Jonathan barfed into the tub on Christmas Eve after sister took him to out at 15 to get banged up on Draft (Homemade pizza)
– Banff Grizzy House: Bear Fondue 60s Swingers club.

Jeremy’s late-night coffee – “Taggart & Torrens in the evening”

Greaseball 3-Quote Game
– Arnold Schwarzenegger
– Milan Lucic
– O.J. Simpson
– R. Kelly
– Honourable Mentions: Charlie Sheen, Joe Francis, Bill Cosby – Canadian Greaseball: Jian Ghomeshi

“He Shoots, He’s Pissed” – Jonathan as a high-voiced, monotoned, angry Franglais hockey coach with Jeremy as the stick-boy that lives at the rink

Jeremy’s update regarding his transition out of Our Lady Peace; “enjoyment of the possibilities of anything”

Breaking News: Taggart & Torrens hitting airways – TSN1050 on Dec 29/30, 2014

Importance of being open to new opportunities; “waiting for the phone to knock”

Gold Isuzu Trooper guy getting shot by drunk hunters; Wheels’ Dad owned one

“Is it Hawking Talking?” Game
– [Stephen Hawking’s concerns towards Artificial Intelligence – “nerd waves”; “Are the computer heads gonna wanna pound?”]
– Actual quotes from Stephen Hawking or Jeremy’s made up statements
– “somethin you can succeed at” – Hawking has east coast accent?!
– “We need to make this a board game!”

How-to-do Christmas with kids
– Jeremy’s daughter has to have a yo-yo; sons range from computers, video game stuff, “trashes”
– Jonathan’s kids have to give away toys in order to make room for new ones

Entitled Kids
– Up to parents to engage with kids along with the stuff; kids want attention and to just hang out with parents
– Jonathan recollects working on “The Kids in Charge” tv show
– Jonathan’s daughter watching Play-Doh & Kinder Surprise YouTube videos
– Jeremy’s kids watching the Minecraft YouTube walk-through videos; “blocking out the haters”
– Jonathan’s idea to post videos of reading books, one page at a time. “Hey guys! My name is Daryll. It’s called “to Kill a Mockingbird.”

25 year anniversary of StreetCents – a similar show is needed today “it’s fit for the pit”

Mike Clattenburg (StreetCents & Trailer Park Boys) playing pranks
– First cheque written to Rob Wells (Ricky on TPB) “re: sucking 8 penises” but crossed 8 out and put 9 in red marker
– Jonathan’s house broken into; female RCMP officer found a card from Rob Wells, Jean Paul, & Mike Clattenburg “We’d like to thank you for… sucking our C’s” with penises drawn everywhere
– Penis drawings on post-it notes hidden everywhere, food labels, etc
– Jonathan’s friend Matt gave him a box to take as a “carry on” – filled with ridiculous contents “is this your box?” –> Jonathan found heinous magazines and labelled them “please call me, these are collector’s items” and left them behind in a hotel

Jonathan is “a mess” when putting up Christmas Tree like his dad; Jeremy put up his real “wide, leaner tree”, the tree fell “right in front of me” at 2:30-3am; tree: “Hey Bahd! I’m banged up.” Jonathan recollects “Little Drummer Boy” story of humiliation.

“Your mouth to God’s ear…”

Products of Environment: Jonathan’s dad hated putting up the tree

Stand Technology: Wide base/girth, 3-banger vs 4-banger, “triangle screw technology doesn’t work”, “tree stand has to have a wide stance”

Willie Nelson’s favourite joke = worst joke in the world (Woman getting stung by a bee)

Worst Gifts: Jonathan – bag of tiny hotel soaps; Twitter follower: one windshield wiper, 2L pop bottle bird feeder; Strawberry Shortcake doll; $1 Giant Tiger gift card; loaf of bread & 2 rolls shellacked, turned into candle holder; LCBO gift certificate; earrings & Backstreet Boys magnet to 23 year old guy; weight loss book & salmon orange dollar store MC Hammer pants; Pot of Gold chocolates with middle missing; assortment of meat seasonings; gravy boat;

Reactions to bad gift giving; Jonathan giving “racist paraphernalia”

Gift Gap: Established terms of gift giving (ie: Ornament exchange turned into Armani gift giving)

Jonathan’s family trip to Nashville to see Emmylou Harris

Jeremy clarifies the 3-banger vs 4-banger tree stand situation; Jonathan bought his stand from Canadian Tire, wearing Sorel boots, with Bryan Adams’ “I Need Somebody” playing #Canadianity moment (Bryan Adams Reckless Flu – BARF; Desert Island Bryan Adams’ jam – Jeremy refuses “Whatevs Salad”)

Holiday Hum-Off Game (inception of developing characters before songs)
– Feliz Navidad or We Wish You a Merry Christmas – (creep in elevator, with sunglasses, with porn)
– (Guy scraping snow off windshield) – The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
– (Single man going into Target just cause it’s open) – Jingle Bell Rock
– (Accountant, wearing fedora/scarf/trench coat, waves car through at crosswalk, not in a hurry; “Why is humming so hard?”) – It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas/Winter Wonderland
– (Unhappy guy working his 11th hour, gonna be late, is a little concerned) – Ruldolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
– (Trent basting the turkey cause Nancy can’t handle it) – Good King Wenceslas
– (Ski-lift guy just got a girl’s number – Larry) – Have a Holly Jolly Christmas
– (Elderly woman worrying about her guest travelling in snowstorm) – First Noel
– (Young man alone in his room, jamming, trying to find himself) – The Little Drummer Boy
– (Post-midnight mass priest, getting into his flannel jammies) – I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Family traditions: Jeremy: open 1 gift on 24th, sticking fingers into gifts, searching in closets, etc; Jonathan: had to wait for mom to put on lipstick, opening one gift at a time, Nutcracker playing, spiced doughnuts

Allan Doyle biography – reflecting on stuffing food down, otherwise someone else would eat it; poor family warming themselves together with the oven for heat

Christmas > New Year’s Eve

B4-4: Orange, spiky haired troll dolls, “Weren’t they Chippendale’s dancers?” ; “Whatever happened to the Moffatts?”

Trailer Park Boys popularity – Bands & Sports Teams passed around dvds; US audiences didn’t know if it was a Documentary vs Mockumentary; TPB touring with Our Lady Peace

Aspirations to get TNT on iTunes; possibility of a podcast tour

“Do you think Wheels’ dad will come by for Christmas?”

Jonathan’s ominous neighbour – “It’s a nice day outside” –> “Yeah… too nice!”; “He’s like the Lennon to the world’s McCartney”; “You got your tractor fixed, Harold?” “yeah, but one trip up and the field and that thing could be bitched.”

“Bitched” = Something being broken

Jonathan – “What the clam?!”

Leafs Update: Carlyle fired; classic band-aid solution; Kessel – “2 weeks on, 2 weeks off”

Word Juniors Update: CAN vs RUS; Essence of Canadianity = Curtis Lazar smiling on the ice; Darnell Nurse – “Silver Lining on a Dark Cloud”

BAHD of the Week: [Jeremy: Canadian World Junior Team; Jonathan: Darthregus from Calgary matches $300 bid for Halifax Co-Op]

Jeremy explains CD vs MP3 sound quality. (mastered according to Suzanne Vega song)

Jonathan discusses his “Off the Record” reputation that’s followed him; “like a mosquito in my ear”

TnT Movie Suggestions:
– [Actors] Mark Paul Gosselaar & Dustin Diamond; Ellen Degeneres & Antonio Banderas; Marshall Mathers & Jared Leto; Said the Whale’s Drummer for Jeremy; Christian & Edge; Go West band members; “Jonah” from Danger Bay & “Mike” from Hangin’ In; Matt Damon & Ben Affleck; “Burt & Ralph” from the Raccoons; Jack Nicholson & Johnny Depp; John Tavares; Jeremy’s pick = Bill Hader for himself & Joel McHale for Jonathan; Jonathan’s pick = Ross Hull for Jeremy & twins from the band Bros or B4-4 band for himself; Jim Carrey & young Robert Redford; Gerry Dee & Fabio
– [Plotline & Supporting Cast] Fred from Corner Gas as TnT Manager; Ellen Page as “tiny villain”; travelling from east coast to Tofino; Jay & Dan as Keystone Cops; Mike Smith as elderly waitress woman; Brent Sutter takes them to farm-house to drink moonshine; only 36 hours to make the trip in a Dodge Dart; Russell DeCarle from Prairie Oyster as Jonathan’s dad; Rex Murphy as Jeremy’s dad
– [Soundtrack] “Sunny Days” by Lighthouse, “Bad Boys” by Haywire, “Lay it on the Line” by Triumph, “Can’t Stop” by Jacksoul, “Sweet City Woman” by The Stampeders, “Too Hot” by Alanis Morissette, “It Ain’t Enough” by Corey Hart, “Tonight’s the Night” by Neil Young, “If Venice is Sinking” by Spirit of the West
– Sutter: “No, you guys aren’t gettin’ outta here with this snow tonight. You might as well bunk down in the barn. Take a pull on that and tell me it ain’t Christmas! Suck that down with your pink mouth and relax! You’re not gettin’ anywhere in this storm!”
– Taggart & Torrens: The Movie – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVsw9pvrGQQ

TSN FTW – Shout outs to Gord Miller, Ray Ferraro, James Duthie, Bob McKenzie

T-Shirt budget & 12-shirt breakdown.

Canadianity Definitions: snow; paying for guy behind you at Tim Hortons; sorry; being nice; helping people around you; shovelling elderly neighbour’s walk; “sorry, bahd, they didn’t have any Canadian Maple, so I got you a box of Timbits;” when your beer-league goalie shows up 5 min before you hit the ice. –> Winning submission slips drawn out of a toque (like Sunday afternoon at the Bingo Parlour; grandmas hacking darts; “8 cards going with multiple dabbers going with a dart in their mouth – THAT’s skill”) Winner: Jeff Brown. “Let’s read some more responses… want to?” Terry Fox; back bacon, bag of ketchup chips, Moosehead beer, & beavertail for dessert; Nickelback; John Candy; “Cold out there, eh? At least there’s no mosquitoes!” “given the circumstances;” battling each other for niceness; bringing sleds to the school for kids at pick-up time… Winner: Moose Bertleson (TNT-Tees)

Canadianity Stories: Jeremy – Taking mushrooms in White Rock; Jonathan – Bagpiper playing while a brawl outside Charlottetown bar; Being atop of Northwest Territories mountain, drunk on whisky, with Rick Mercer, seeing a muskox; Writing for Junos (David Suzuki and Gordon Lightfoot introducing Bruce Cockburn).

Bahds of the Week: Jonathan- Matt (brought brew to the neighbourhood shimmy game) or (honourable mention to Bruce who oversees the neighbourhood rink; Jeremy- Tim Oxford from the Arkells (helps post TNT episodes)

Jeremy’s Cold Winter Classic Jams
– “Coldest Night of the Year” by Bruce Cockburn
– (Jonathan suggests the idea of a weekly Taggart’s Top 5 jams)
– “Acadian Driftwood” by The Band
– Jonathan requested: “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Meaghan Smith & Buck 65

Jonathan recalls being given expensive Bauer skates; apologizing for his skating ability

Jonathan serenades Jeremy with “Littlest Hobo” song: “Maybe Tomorrow” by Terry Bush

Jeremy mentions being in the “Hey Jude” video, next to Ringo.

Jeremy’s most banged up story: 28th birthday @ Juno’s; (discusses allergy to alcohol & migraine headaches); really hammered, gave person a hug, tried to pull off fake hair… “What are you doing? — You know what I’m doing.” (Jonathan: “You tried to smoke him out.”)

Jonathan @ Gemini awards: Congratulates man’s wife on being pregnant – not pregnant.

“You Don’t Remember Me, Do You?” – is the worst!

Dustin Diamond going to jail for stabbing on Jesus’ birthday. (Dust-in-the-Wind)

Discussion on employment opportunities and longevity in the business. Jonathan – “Unless I have a moral opposition to something, I do it”

“Your mouth to God’s ear, Jeremy Taggart!”

Earth-shattering news: Target pulled out of Canada like… “Ronnie just burst in the room” “Harper pulled out of Kyoto” “Justin Bieber’s father should have” “The Leafs out of playoff contention” “Shaun White in Olympics” “Dump snake from Ricky’s bird” “Will Smith should have before Jaden was conceived” “BiWay out of the dictionary”

Looking through catalogues (Consumers Distributors, Canadian Tire)

Jonathan buying high school girlfriend 2 feet of chain that turned her neck green; dumped shortly thereafter–> Discussing negotiation and middle-men in adolescent relationships. “Wanna pound? Lol?” “You can LOL yourself out of anything.”

Discussion of porn and its effect on monogamous relationships. (Jonathan’s analogy of the all-you-can-eat buffet; Jeremy’s viewing of porn in the barn; Eatons/Sears swimsuit catalogue pages; Jeremy didn’t get “the talk” but got caught having a yank at 14)

Jeremy shares Ronnie’s experience growing up in strict Catholic upbringing

Jonathan recalls his e-mail gaff, where his manager sent out – “Wah, wah, my pussy hurts. I don’t want to be a fucking panellist.” as “reply” to Jonathan rather than “forward” to his assistant. Discussion on how to keep from impulsively sending things. (Jonathan: Type a draft, sit on it for 24 hours, then send if you still feel the same way)

Jonathan requests Top 5 Snowbird (Summertime/Wintertime) Jams for next episode

Jonathan recalls flying to England at 6, wearing a “Humiliating bib that said UM – Unaccompanied Minor-which might as well have been like perv-alert, right?… Hey pervs, this child is solo!”; Jeremy recalls Taggart Family trips – James having heat stroke while camping “punching at bugs attacking him… he was having like hallucinations in his tent.”

Jonathan’s dad having “Ronnie-style” outbursts when felt hard-done by – leaving groceries behind if boxes weren’t available; taking bullies in his car to principal’s office.

Jeremy’s mom cheering him on while fighting bullies. “Get’em Jere, Come on!”

Liar Friends: Far-fetched storytelling (Grandma taught him how to box/protect himself, fends off bullies, comes home, nanny is dead); “The TSN Turning Point”, “no possible truth-ville”; Jeremy’s white classmate who was cousins with Michael Jackson –> “Whatev Salad!”

Right to Ditch – RTD: Jonathan’s top friend quality; Jeremy – “Can we do that thing, like you promised?”

Basement Drills – “Lights out, everyone in the basement”; Taggart’s woodshop teacher coming to his house every week wanting $2.

Woodshop Class – teachers warning the students, “Fire it up”, making num-chuks and picking up girlfriends.

Jonathan’s Walrus magazine awards dinner/auction. Unintentionally offered $3500 to take Margaret Atwood to lunch. “My big mouth got me in big trouble… Idiot Tax!”

Jonathan is worked over by guy requesting $20, gives him $80.

Canadian Kids Shows: [YouTube Playlist]
– Poka-Dot Door [Pokaroo]
– The Friendly Giant [“Never has the pan-flute so captivated an entire generation”; Jeremy’s dad’s drum teacher played music for the show]
– The Silver Basketball [“Take kids into a hut and make up exercises as we go”]
– Under the Umbrella Tree; ShantyTown; The Forest Rangers; Great Space Coaster
– Big Comfy Couch [Clown-Girl got banged up, doing the clock dance]
– Fred Penner’s Place
– Harrigan [Irish-Canadian kids show; “Champ is here today with his guitar!” mail-lady on a unicycle; Freestylin’ Clarinet]
– Popular Mechanics for Kids [“Starred a young Canadian host who would go on to be a quite a successful actor in the united states of America. She’s now wife to a certain hockey playing pylon that Toronto fans love to dislike.”– The Girl Next Door, Love Actually]

“You won’t believe what America’s like, yeah?” … “Thanks!”… “You gotta accept me as I am.” “How’s it going in America, Harold? — Oh Auntie, you won’t believe it!” “Feck off!” Discussion of Elisha Cuthbert turns into the Who having a fight. –> The Most Sarcastic Thanks. “I really like the song you just released… — Oh, Thhhhihhhannkkkkkkksssss.”

Mr. Dressup theme song [The Greatest Canadian Kids Show – Ernie Coombs;

Jeremy: “Give yourself a pat on the back” — Jonathan: “If only my arms were that long.”]

Bahd of the Week: Daniel MacDonald who created TNT Movie Trailer

Jeremy’s best friend, Alex O’Reilly, can’t yell.

Jeremy’s Top 5 Canadians Down South Jams [YouTube Playlist]

(Jonathan sings 1-866-WOW-DEAL; Basic impromptu scenarios started)
– “Steal My Sunshine” by Len (Jeremy hung out at singer’s chalet in Kelowna)
– “You Could Have Been A Lady” by April Wine
– “One Fine Morning” by Lighthouse
– “Wave Babies” by Honeymoon Suite
– “Patio Lanterns” by Kim Mitchell (“You guys plough!”)

Robert Plant & Alanna Myles

Jonathan assigns “Top 5 Stick it to the Man” jams (“You know what, Corby? I’ve been working in this stink hole for 2 years now listening to you tell me that I suck day in and day out… I’m done!” –> Turn Me Loose!)

Phat Bacc – Love song about a shapely Posterior; rapper asks random patron at mini golf place to be in the music video, they end up dating [Video]

Jeremy discusses current Canadian music, distaste towards spinning stick drummers

Jonathan – “Where the cheese is, that’s you’ll be apt to find me, bahd”

Sweet & Sour, Chocolate & Peanut Butter, Sugar & Spice, Horton’s Double-Double & a Maple Cream.

Intention to dedicate Episode 27 to Dave Semeko & NHL’s Greatest Goons. “Goon-a-bration. Goon but not

Torrens’ household Slairs; 5 coats of industrial anti-slip; “If you’re wearing burlap shorts, you’re probably okay, but if you’re wearing silk pajamas, you might go through a log wall” – fighters must wear oven mitts.

TTV – Time to Vocal; “Hitting the Post” game explanation and introductions
– Jonathan: The Wolf in Bracebridge, afternoon drive: “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi
– Jeremy: 99.4 The COQK in Red Deer, morning show: “Secret Lovers” by Atlantic Starr [Jonathan cackle laugh – the angry rooster that’s the logo for COQK]
– Jonathan: 88.5 The Imp in Pinawa, MB, overnight show: “The Final Countdown” by Europe [Jeremy “I’m gonna give you different call letters because I want to keep the COQK for myself” – Jonathan “Sure you do!” – 1:27 TTV – Serious tap-dancing]
– Jeremy: The COQK – Red Deer’s Only Rock Station – “You wanna rock the COQK?”: “Unskinny Bop” by Poison [“Hello! You’re on the COQK!”]
– Jonathan: 86.5 The Dam in Lethbridge, AB – mid-morning shift: “Do You Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart [“We’re not exactly Sid-the-Kid here.”]
– Jeremy: 101.9 The Bird on Gabriola Island, Saturday WayBack PlayBack: “When it’s Love” by Van Halen [Jonathan cackle laugh]

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Stickin’ it to the Man” jams
– “Enough is Enough” by April Wine
– “Carry Me” by The Stampeders (Workin at Baskin Robins – movin on)
– “Day by Day” by Doug & the Slugs (Margaret & Keith job interaction) [Jono’s rowboat called “MYOTT” – handmade rowboat story with guy that doesn’t get back to him, Carol surprises him with Father’s Day gift]
– “Doesn’t Really Matter” by Platinum Blonde (leaving job at record store; listening on ipod on the bus) [Cory Hart in the vocals a bit; “Tears are Not Enough” – Greatest 90 minutes of Canadianity; Suge Knight going to jail… drinking lattes/eating scones?]
– “Hasn’t Hit Me Yet” by Blue Rodeo (throwing hot coffee in boss’ face, hits you 1 month later) [“I feel like you really rounded the bases, emotionally”

Jonathan assigns “Dressing Room, Pump-Up” jams

Goon But Not Forgotten. (Dedication over Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You”). Honourable Mentions: Tie Domi, Dave Semenko, Tiger Williams (pulled Jeremy’s hair in the Juno Cup), Bob Probert, George Laraque, Matthew Barnaby, Ron Hextall, Ray Emery, Ian Laperrier, Mike Rupp, George Parros (Jeremy – “mustache-o smart man, serious school action”), Marty McSorely, Donald Brashear, Chris Neil, Chris Nilan.

Hockey Wives tv show. Jonathan – “Is that something you’ll watch with your eyes?”

Bahd of the Week: Mike MacFarlane for creating the TnT website: www.taggartntorrens.ca

Greasies Stickers for the windows of restaurants

Discussion about favourite TnT games

SpunOut TV show (allegations towards one of the actors & show gets pulled; Lost Prophets pedophile; Social quicksand)

Jonathan’s room service mix-up; calls after 70 minutes – apologizing; the guy chuckles “I forgot to get your room number” – the new “right on”; Jeremy reports that his food arrives too quickly

Jeremy discusses life on the road – hotel rooms, killing time, boring cities, looking for escape, etc.

Jonathan watches Nacho Libre 3 times in 2 weeks

Jeremy discusses house cleaning -“fire the vacuum around”; Jermaine Jackson loving vacuuming (train wreck reality tv show); “The Taggarts” – reality tv show with Jeremy’s parents.

Twitter Follower Questions:
– Celebrity co-host: Jonathan – John Candy; Jeremy – Jay &/or Dan
– Fave Canadian Bands/Artist: Jonathan – Gordon Lightfoot; Jeremy – The Band, The Guess Who, Blue Rodeo, Tragically Hip, Hey Rosetta, Wintersleep (Jonathan suggests B4-4 & The Moffatts)
– Jonathan tells Joe Schmo story
– Leafs vs Oilers game (Taggart vs Torrens; Toilet Bowl; Jack-Off – Eichel’s “sick flo, blah”)
– Thoughts Dini Petty? Discuss Canadian talk show hosts
– Taggart on Trailer Park Boys: Jeremy’s open to be a “really good creepy guy friend of Randy”; Jeremy discusses partying with Pat Roach (Jonathan’s mic begins to echo)
– Jeremy’s Wikipedia picture: Jeremy defends himself wearing the NY hat; discusses Red Sox owner being wheeled around/banged up at a wedding

Hit the Post Game (Round 2)
– Jonathan: 104.4 The Woodpecker in Grand Prairie: “All We Are” by Kim Mitchell
– Jeremy: 101.7 The Wolf in Riviere-du-Loup: “Eyes of a Stranger” by Payolas
– Jonathan: 92.7 The Puffin in Point Pelee: “Turn Me Loose” by Loverboy [Hail Mary with the website and phone number]
– Jeremy: 88.9 The Falcon in St. Johns, NB: “Waterfalls” by TLC [“one of them’s not with us anymore” – Jeremy & Jonathan cackle laugh]
– Jonathan: 87.7 The Garter Snake in Airdrie: “GhostBusters Theme” by Ray Parker Jr. [“Garter Snakers…”]
– Jeremy: 107.5 The Otter in Regina: “Curious” by Sandbox [“How’s your otter?”]
– Jonathan: 107.7 The Loon in Selkirk: “Echo Beach” by Martha & The Muffins [“nailed it like Sidney Crosby” – tap dancing]
– Jeremy: 102.4 The Raven in Sudbury: “Sweetest Taboo” by Sade [“Sardeh, Sharday, Sade?… That was ridiculous!”]
– Jonathan: 101.1 The Skunk in Cornwall: “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle [“Let the wind blow the stink off of you…pound a couple frosty soldiers and get real…”]
– Jeremy: 92.5 The Gopher in Kamloops: “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve [Jeremy gives the overview of how The Verve samples the Rolling Stones]

Bahd of the Week: Jeremy – his good friend Brad Lang; (Jeremy gave his shirt to Brad; ordered 2 dozen more shirts; talk of TNT buttons; curiosity towards potential sponsors) Jonathan – Mike Stevens (bluegrass harmonica player who donates 50% of his proceeds to kids across Canada; instrument lending libraries, etc. “Maybe my bahd of a lifetime!” ArtsCircle Canada Website)

Twitter Questions (continued)
– What would Franglais hockey coach say about Leafs vs Oilers game? (“We lost 1-5; I’ll have one hot dogs and two ketchup; two left and one rights” Tim Oxford loves the Franglais)
– Jonathan: “On 88.9 The Falcon, St. Johns’ only choice for rock… We Falcon rock. You’ve gotta be Falcon kidding. It’s 88.9!” – Jonathan wants t-shirts with fake rock stations.

Jeremy – “Yikers Island”

Jeremy’s Top 5 Locker Room Jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “Rock You” by Helix
– “The Kid is Hot Tonite” by Loverboy (“Anybody got any tape? Where’s my cup, bahd? She runneth over, bahd”; Jonathan’s father-in-law’s story of a 14 year old pounding a pint of the Captain; Jonathan – “I’m all fired up I want to punch myself in the face.”)
– “No Time” by The Guess Who (“Canadianity in the soul… couple of teeth on the floor…”)
– “Metal on Metal” by Anvil (Jeremy – “a bunch of bangers just ready to get into it!”)
– “Bruce Lee” by Indian Handcrafts
– Bonus Track: Jonathan’s pick – “Big Leagues” by Tom Cochrane

Jonathan assigns Top 5 Canadianity Post-Break up Jams for next week (“It’s over, eh?”)

Bahd of the Week: Tim Thompson (@b0undless) – Hockey Night in Canada Music Montage maker; discussion of 2 dozen TNT shirts hot off the press

Breaking TNT News: 12-1pm filling in for Mike Bullard on Newstalk1010

Anti-Skype conversation

50/50 Shots Game (Maple Syrup Shot after True/False questions; must say Canadian word– “What the clam are we doing?”)
– Jeremy – “Tom Cochrane” (Jonathan cackle laugh)
– Jonathan – “Bruno Gerussi” (Jonathan & Jeremy cackle laugh) “Surprised with the after-burn.”
– Jeremy – “Saskatoon” (Jonathan – “It’s like your teeth are wearing little sweater vests”)
– Jonathan – “Mike Reno” (Jeremy – “My daughter’s crying downstairs, and I’m crying inside…”)
– Jeremy – “The Canadian Canoe Museum” (Jeremy – “I might puke today, bahd!”… “What are you doing to me” feeling)
– [Jonathan dodging bullets “matrix style”]
– Jeremy – “Pass me a beer, bahd!” (“This is getting to the point where I’m not happy anymore…”)
– [Jeremy yells “You’re killing me!”]
– Jonathan – (“What do I have to say when it’s in my open word-hole?”) “I love beavers.” (Jeremy’s 1st syrup belch, thick burps)
– Jeremy – “Jann Arden & Drew Doughty” (Jeremy reports turning into Gollum)
– Jonathan – “Whiskey Dick” ( Jonathan – “My teeth are so pissed off at me right now…”)
– [Jonathan has the syrup shakes… and syrup sweats]
– Jeremy – (“Pound a shot you dirty street walker”) “Double Double” (Jeremy has the shakes and the “I want my Mommies”)
– Jonathan – (“My little saliva zamboni is workin overtime.”) “Johnny LaRue” (“Holy cat-fish!”)

Jonathan recalls buying Ketchup chips at the ice rink; Jeremy mentions “piping hot” hot chocolate, soup, hot dog, & some chips.

Discussions on bed-wetting (Jonathan’s sleep-over story @ age 8)–> Parenting was more severe back there. Jeremy – “I’m loud but not ragey.”

“Bahd” lightens the blow when delivering bad news

Jonathan enters father-in-law into contests in the mall. “It’s a ticking time bomb.” Garage Sale today sign at bottom of in-law’s driveway; Canton Cafe Eggrolls prank

“Let’s not play that game ever again, want to?”

Discussion of a “best of” games episode

Canadian winter = -40 with windchill; Jonathan – “Yikers Island!”

Winter storm discussions – “It’s bananas!”; Carol pulling girls on a sled

Appreciation for being home with their families and kids; Jeremy’s 4yr old: “Why do you have to pick me up today?”; Jonathan’s 5yr old referring to the guy with no shirt on mowing the lawn (must be wearing knee-length, frayed, Denver Hayes jean shorts and Reebok pumps)

“Shirts-Off Party” – Hockey player thing, not bowlers. Jeremy recollects road trip in Montana. Jonathan – “I have a really long thorax and short legs… I’m disproportionate…”

Bahd of the week: Chris Bailey (@wigglechicken) broken ankle stranded in Ireland.

Jeremy recalls Daniel Carcillo’s mandatory “shirts-off party”; topless drumming; recent high-end Christmas party; Jonathan has a shirts-off party with himself before bed… “No one who’s doughy is gonna suggest a shirts-off party.” Jonathan prefers eating treats vs shirts-off parties

Importance of breakfast discussion; healthy lifestyle choices

Jeremy loves “Better Call Saul” & reveals his love for Chicago Mix – “I will crush that fucking shit like a crackhead! Gotta put the bag away and say ‘get the fuck off!’ That stuff just gets me. Caloric intake, heavy!” (Jonathan happiest while heavier)

Jeremy’s Top 5 Canadianity Break-Up Jams [YouTube Playlist]
(Sitting on couch in pajama jeans…)
– “Early Morning Rain” by Gordon Lightfoot (Working as chimney sweep, you’re dirty and your wife can’t deal with that part of your life, but it’s good money. “You are dust!” – Jonathan sings along – East coaster and Tammy who “gave me the ol heave-ho. Tired of me workin’ nights!…Eatin’ Cap’n Crunch!”) – Cape Breton phrase: “anadeh” [Jonathan’s St. John’s Air Canada bad weather flight: “We’re gonna take a run at it”]
– “Stand Tall” by Burton Cummings [Jonathan reveals his love for the Bachelor] (Popular person who doesn’t know heartache. -Jeremy slowly speaks lyrics aloud – Discuss how’d they’d film music video for this song. [Jonathan asks the last time Jeremy cried] Jeremy – “…silly human pride… Jesus Christ, Burton, you had some lyrics. Wowzers! Holy Boats!” [Jonathan asks about Jeremy’s crying a 2nd time. Jeremy “cries all the time”]
– “It Makes No Difference” by The Band (You’re with a person you’ve loved for years, but they’ve changed… “Heartbreak, for reals!”… Important to sit in the grief and deal with it before you move on.)
– “Thinking of You” by Harlequin (Fondly remembering an old relationship. Dennis eating at Swiss Chalet; Amber, the waitress, gives free carrot cake. “She may be the rope that pulls him to safety… He’s in Bummed-Out Harbour, bahd! Amber’s gonna pull him to Promise of the Future Harbour”)
– “My Girl” by Chilliwack (Jonathan sings along. Jeremy plays reverse hit-the-post with 101.1 The Bird.)

Jonathan assigns Top 5 Canadianity “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” Gettin Busy Jams

Eh Lister Game – Famous Canadian voice clips
– Lesley Neilsen (whoopie cushion on Letterman; real life problem with flatulance?)
– Dick Irvin (Hockey Night in Canada announcer)
– Wayne Gretzky
– Norm Macdonald
– Martin Short
– Wayne Rostad (On the Road Again host)
– Louis del Grande (Listerine commercial; Jonathan has “Seeing Things” bible script)
– “right in the pocket” (Friday night dance show on Much Music) – Monika Deol
– Bruno Gerussi
– Jim Perry (Host of Definition)

Twain or Twin Game (Shania Twain impersonator – only live performances)
– Twin – “You’re twong, bahd!”
– Twain – “You’re tight!”
– Twin – “Twong! That’s Twain!” – “Play this game at your shirt-off party and see what happens!”
– Twin – “Well done, bahd!”

Discussion on cover bands (Pink Floyd cover band playing arenas); “What happens when the Twain leaves the station?”; ViaRail (ViaWhale) should have Shania Twin & Twain play. “Whose bunk have your boots been under?”; have 2 cover acts ever hooked up?

Naming Cover Bands Game: Alannah Myles (Black Velvet); Nickelback (This is how you remind me); Tryin’ Adams. Jonathan – “That’s my shirts-off party! So nichy but it’s where I live!”

Jeremy tells hotel atrium story at music convention – guy having a yank, with drapes open. Thousands of people below viewing him through glass atrium, laughing at him jerkin’ off. Crowd cheered when he ejaculated. “It was on the fucking news!” Suggestions of who could it be: Jean Cretien, Steve Fonyo, Paul Gross, Norm Perry. (Jonathan and Jeremy cackle laugh)

Jonathan’s mic troubles: Directional & Omnidirectional; iPhone 4 notification challenges

Jeremy reflects on 2 best things of being a famous musician: technician to set-up/tear down drums; moving from van to tour bus

Tour Bus/Jet Rules: No Number 2; DMB Chicago grated bridge dump on scenery boat

Invitation to send updates, stories, and pictures: taggartandtorrens@gmail.com

Bahds of the week: Tom (@ClusterHeadTom) – Cluster Migraine Headaches; Bahd License Plate in Nova Scotia (@DegaustKirk)

Jeremy’s Top 5 Log Driver Jams (description of how they came to this topic – Essentially road trip or “floating down the river” jams; “Log Jams”) [YouTube Playlist]
– (“burlin down” – just “rippin”; Jonathan shares intrigue with burl)
– “Let it Ride” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
– “Here For a Good Time, Not a Long Time” by Trooper (Jonathan critiques the song – “Every now and then it’s gonna rain” – “distill it down into a reduction sauce”)
– “Tshinanu” by Kashtin (Sobey’s bag full of popcorn chasing the log down the rapids)
– “Turn the Lights On” by Big Sugar (Jonathan – “What are you listening to these tunes on?!”… “Log-driver sounds like code for something else, bahd!” “I’m gonna start dropping burlin’ the verb into every day conversations.” Jeremy – Beats by Dre headphones)
– “Down by the River” by Neil Young & Crazy Horse(“QUIT YOUR BURLIN!” greasy guy burlin in inner tube with jean shorts)

Jonathan assigns Top 5 “Fuck it, I’m Gettin’ up” Jams (Rump Shakers for Non Dancers) Jonathan – “Holy Frig Amanda, Keith’s on the dance floor. Come getta load of this!”

Poem Sayin’ Game – (verbal paper-scissors-rock to decide who goes first)
– Jeremy – “Good Mother” by Jann Arden (Jonathan: “read it like you mean it, bahd!”; Jeremy & Jonathan cackle laugh; “I need something real punchy for this lyric… Well, why don’t you take the lord’s name in vain, Jann? That usualy does it!”)
– Jonathan – “I Hate My Life” by Theory of a Deadman (Jeremy – “Mad at your dad, jam!” Cape Breton Styles; Jeremy cackle laugh; Jonathan – “That is NOT a good song.” Comparison to terrible grade 8 poetry)
– Jeremy – “Can’t We Try” by Dan Hill (East coast accent; Jeremy & Jonathan cackle laugh; “Captain Highliner reading love poems”)
– Jonathan – “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion (Jonathan – “Give me one more and I’ll do it as the French-Canadian hockey coach”; Slips into Mario Lopez’s mom)
– Jeremy – “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle (As Clint Eastwood clenched teeth guy; Jonathan cackle laugh; greasy and creepy – “Hannibal Lector quality”)

Best of Hit the Post on Newstalk1010 with Jim Richards – YouTube Playlist
(“Your mouth to God’s ear, Jeremy Taggart!”)
– Jeremy: 98.4 the Cockroach in Victoria: “Nova Heart” by The Spoons
– Jim: 101.4 the Mole in Lloydminster: “Wild Horses” by Gino Vinelli
– Jonathan: 101.9 the Rascal in Red Deer: “Baby Ran” by 54-40 (lost cat)<br?
– Jonathan: 98.5 the Grump: “Lunatic Fringe” by Tom Cochrane & Red Rider
– Jeremy: 102.7 the Marmot in Fogo Island: “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits (With Sting on background vocals)

“Canadianity is a sausage party” – Bahd of the Week: @livil for highlighting the importance of women to Canadianty–>Caladyianity –> “A bahd is a bahd is a bahd”

Women that best exemplifies Canadianity. Jeremy: His mom & Catherine O’Hara; (Jonathan shares Mr. D actors getting frisky post-lunch Dental floss story; people having intimate relations in the forest) (Jonathan lists off awesome Canadian women) Jonathan: Viola Desmond (challenged segregation in Glasgow, NS; 9 years before Rosa Parks)

Jeremy’s pronunciation of Scenario: “Scen-are-ee-o”

Server Pet-Peeves. Jonathan: Inclusive pro-nouns; don’t take away plate if someone else is still eating. Jeremy: No handshakes or sitting down at the table. “…Burling down a big bag of chicken wings at the Old Frankie’s Tomatoes” – Jonathan: “I like seeing servers burlin’ around, it makes you feel like they’re on top of it.”

Ideal Swiss Chalet orders. (Swiss Chalet training con: nod while offering dessert options)

Moments of Frustration. Jeremy: F-Bombs; Jonathan: “God-dammit;” “Maybe a ‘for frig’s sake’” (Jeremy – “Seriously!? What are you, Ned Flanders?!” Jonathan’s wife: “Aww, nuts!”

MAFK – isn’t a word, so it’s okay. Jonathan shies away from swearing, Jeremy reflects on an upbringing filled with “Fucks per minute”

Jonathan & Jeremy banter about their swearing tendencies

Women spitting and swearing- yay or nay?

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Fuck It, I’m Gettin’ Up” jams (always someone who’s banged up) [YouTube Playlist]
– (Sharing Absinthe stories. “Bad news bears… Liquor’s writing cheques that your body just can’t cash”)
– “Black History Month” by Death From Above 1979 (Dougie, zamboni driver, in Orilla drinking Absinthe. “Hey Keith, get a load of zam-dougie!”)
– “Brill Bruisers” by The New Pornographers (Gordie, burly line-man in Northern BC. “How can he move like that in those Caterpillar work boots?!”)
– “Home For a Rest” by Spirit of the West (Wayne in Bracebridge. “Wayne! Open up, monkey nuts!” Wayne is having a shirts-off party alone in the bar)
– “I Heard I Had” by Dear Rouge (Gee, ski-lift operator, quiet guy. “Where’s the fucking flying pigs, Gee’s on the dance floor!… Better chance of getting a Yeti on the camera… What’s next, a Beatles reunion?”)
– “Woodstock” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (Warren’s seen Neil Young 317 times. Magnetic pull to Kylie “like their pelvises are drawn to each other”)

Discussion of Joni Mitchell. (She’s hacked 25,000 darts; she’s a dart machine!; She had to smudge her house after Ghomeshi left to remove bad vibes. “Yikers Island”)

Jonathan buys a “sexy” baseball hat for $7.99 from Canadian Tire

Jeremy buys a “big fucking” shark balloon. Floating all over the house, floating with the current of the air conditioner. – Anti-Pinata discussion (underloaded with candy)

No Cell Phones until 15 – role of parents with kids’ social media/cell phone use

Sammy Hagar yells “Quit Leaving” to his sleeping drummer

Alanis or Avril quotation Game

Jonathan sings along with “Tears are Not Enough” (Gordon Lightfoot, Burton Cummings)

Allude to an on-stage “live date” show in Toronto. Jeremy: “Get your Canadianity asses into the place that we’re playing that we will disclose at a later date.”

Bahd of the Week: Andrew Stokely (gave mic advice – “now I’m just jamming words into the sound hole”)

Jonathan’s Tire Story. [Asked small business to price out set of tires; ordered them without authorization; Jonathan complaining to Michelin]

Jeremy screws up bahd of the week t-shirt mail-outs

Debrief last week’s swearing discussion. (Jeremy felt dirty; Jonathan felt squeaky clean, like a nerd). Jonathan: “Son of a B” after getting stuck in snow drift. “Cocksucker” after slipping on ice and fell on his back. (Frustrating Motor Vehicle interaction = yelled loud enough he saw stars!)

Jonathan buys the St. Elmo’s Fire soundtrack. Jeremy not impressed – “hard syrupy.” Jonathan loves the “Love Theme” & discusses the David Foster music video.

Discuss appreciation of submitted e-mails: taggartandtorrens@gmail.com

Junos. (Arkells’ wins; Jacob Hoggard as host; Alanis tribute)

The Voice. (Jeremy can’t stand Adam Levine; Jonathan raves about Pharrell)

Jeremy shares story of the “I just had a wank” comedian

The Chronic Masterbater living next to Jonathan’s mom. (non-stop “givener” from 6-10pm with the “contraption”- turns out he was training for arm-wrestling competitions).

“Did he?” “Didn’t he?” “Did he?” “Didn’t he?” – Archie Bunker – 4th wall awareness

Jonathan proposes game called “Dude, I Googled You”.

Burton Cummings discussion. (Burton as Lightfoot as Rod Stewart. “1:20 of jokesplanation”)

Jonathan impersonates Gordon Lightfoot as Jeremy discusses his music and podcast tendencies. “Podcast party… they CRUSH them!”

Jonathan’s Top 5 “Quebec Motel/Strip Joint” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– (Order food from restaurant across the street. Pornos on 3 channels, pretty sure they’re filmed in that room! XXX-Dancers Nude…)
– “Try” by Blue Rodeo (“Okay, Guys…” Kids in the room, couldn’t get a sitter)
– “Rockstar” by Nickelback
“Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here” by Deborah Cox (“Okay Guys, D’Accord le guys, Make some noise for Brandi Snifters”)
– “Fall From Grace” by Amanda Marshall (Jeremy as French DJ – “Here comes, Sheree”; Jonathan cackle laugh; “What was that song? Was that a hit?!”)
– “Bye Bye Mon Cowboy” by Mitsou (“Okay Guys, D’accord le guys… Put your hands togethers… for Ample Parking.” Both cackle laugh.)
– The gals workin are hackin’ darts in between. “D’accord le guys. Calms down!… Hannah Mount-anna” Both cackle laugh. “Stacey Sweet.” Jonathan: “It’s really intoxicating… I’m drunk with my own power doing the top 5!”

Jonathan plays “Birmingham” by Amanda Marshall on keyboard; sings tunes; reads lyrics; “panties in a wad” tour; “0 to 60 back to 0 in 3 years”

Special Announcement: TNT live at Canadian Music Week on May 5th @ the Rivoli

Corey Hart contest “fill out ballet and he’ll call Yop”; Jonathan impersonates him and sings Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Bahd of the Week: Chris (@ChrisRedwingfan) -made 100 window decals for 101.9 The Bird

Suggestions for Rock the Coqk with purple angry rooster with veins – “I rock the Coqk”; better than truck nuts (originated in Fort MacMurray) and sticker families

Odin’s 13th birthday party; Asperger’s kid; Facebook call out = massive response; discussion on bullying “brings out volatile lion”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Date Disaster/Destruction” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “YYZ” by Rush (Post-skiing adventures with Linda; he’s air-drumming and she’s reaching for the door “I’ve got an early morning!”)
– “Another Night in Bangkok” by Murray Head (Annie meets Toby’s parents; “I think I left my oven on and I should go stick my head in it!”)
– “Let it Rain” by Amanda Marshall (Shannon gets “friended” after putting song on, “Amanda Marshall is a buzzkill!”)
– “Bad Apple” by David Wilcox (Pete, working man from Antigonish, & Harriett eat at Subway, “Are ya goin to barf? I got some demi-lunes for dessert” Jeremy cackle laugh. East-coast impersonations – “he said, she said” & “areyas”)
– (Jonathan’s story of girlfriend’s dad who spoke through the dog. “Muffy says…”)
– “Insensitive” by Jann Arden (Loretta & Bernie finish date on sour note after eating fondue in Banff)

Jeremy struggles to say “deteriorating”

Jonathan assigns Top 5 “opening up the cottage” jams

Quebec Motel/Strip Club guy – “Okay guys…. time for your feature dancers… Dora the Sexplorer”

TNT MailBag (taggartandtorrens@gmail.com) –> Props to Mike MacFarlane for giving a place to bring bahds and ideas together; Jonathan sings “Untwist My Balls” to tune of Toni Braxton’s “Un-Break My Heart”; Jeremy shares ball-swelling story; reflect on Canadianity

Talk About Game
– Jeremy – Steve Nash
– Jonathan – Barbara From
– Jeremy – Winnepeg
– Jonathan – Calgary (sings David Foster Olympics theme song)
– Jeremy – Lacrosse
– Jonathan – Poutine (“heart-attack risk!”)
– (Impromptu bananas: come in bunches, have peels, yellow, sometimes there’s tarantulas in them… Both cackle laugh)

Jonathan shares about his inherited fear of mice; recollects his mother’s fear; shares about finding mice in his pick-up truck (mama mouse & 6 blind, wet mouse babies + shop vac)

Jeremy numbs out/fades out when hearing the intricacies of cars

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Cottage Cleaner” jams [YouTube Playlist] [“musty and optimistic”]
– “Ready to Start” by Arcade Fire (Garrett sitting in the canvas camp chair with handful of screws with handful of screws from half-finished project. The musty mini bar fridge that hasn’t been opened since last summer)
– “No Sugar Tonight” by The Guess Who (Trevor and Sheila at Lake Cushybushwak in northern Manitoba. Trevor, inherited the cottage, is optimistic; Sheila is resentful. “I think a friggen squirrel got into the flour is what I think”; “You just gotta get a little elbow grease and figure it out, babe”; “It’s like the squirrels were partying with a mound of cocaine!”; “Oh look, there’s a fire pit where we can burn the rest of our money, Trev!”; “That’s a perfect place to store our dreams!”; “Saskberry pies! Shiels!!!” Jonathan – “I hope Trevor and Sheila make it, but I think they’re on the ropes.”; “When the Lord closes a musty door, He opens a screen with a rip in it window” –> Trevor meets Laura from the bait shop; Sheila goes down south and puts up big numbers on Plenty of Fish)<br?
– “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by The Nylons (Creemore, ON with the spinning puke bucket; wide-eyed wonder Toby & his underwhelmed friend, Gary. “HOLY FRIG! Look at this, bahd!” Toby proceeds to point out: baseball mitt, photo album from age 8, matchbooks from every motel on family vacations, turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving; the sheets still on the bed, door mat, toothpaste in the bathroom, spoon found in the walls at age 8, shelf-liners with rings underneath, key to the shed, the raft, inflatable dinghy.)
– “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks (Kamloops, BC. Bryant (“the letter T boom of 1981)”– recent break-up, 86 year old father, Carlos, recently died. “NaD? Why can’t you be here with me… I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t even pronounce my vowels and consonants….” both cackle laugh. “Seasons not Neasons! SAY IT WITH AN S!”; “Is this NINTER?”; “Why are you so annoying?! Get some S’s!” Jeremy – “even his dead dad is like “no dice!”)
– “Four Strong Winds” by Neil Young (2 middle-aged women in down vests; Kelly and Tanya in Yellowknife; filled with regret towards their decision to sell their bachelor suites. “I HATE it out here…”; “Let’s get the fuck out of here then!”; “Let’s get up there and get into things!”)

“Let’s do the bahds of the week, want to?”: Jonathan shares about his work-cation to LA, burlin’ down the highway, when tire blows out on rental SUV.
Jonathan’s Bahd of the Week: Cody Garcia spent an hour+ helping to change the tire. Jeremy’s Bahd of the Week: Paulie O’Byrne (im1in5.com) – stick handling ball across the country to raise awareness for mental health

Jonathan as Cory Hart calls Jeremy up

Jonathan sings “Dark Horse” by Amanda Marshall

Mario Lopez & Joel McHale– “Oh my god, stalker!” story

Jonathan talks Nova Scotia film tax credit situation

Brainstorming about taking TNT on the road – conversation on stage, potential guests and music, comfortable Canadian clothing

Jonathan – “That’s enough with the hats – the civil war re-enactors, the fedoras, the felt things, the newsies stuff…”; scoop neck t-shirts, and “I see what you did there,” enthusiasts; Jeremy – Drop Crotch Pants (DCP); winter

Follow-up to perve next door story with Jonathan’s mom: calls her and she thinks it’s a prank call cause her earpiece isn’t working. Hung up on him. Jeremy – “I’m gonna blame the mouse that ran around her body”.

Jonathan answers phonecall from Carol online

Mike Duffy app – pre-recorded names. Jonathan vs Jonathon. “Hey Wade, it’s the old Duff!” Larry. Berry vs Barrie. Roderick. Jean-Claude. Mary. Bernadette.

Jonathan Talks About: Mike Duffy

Rationale provided for new game “Strip the Post”; talk about the brilliance emerging within the Top 5 story lines.

Bahd of the Week: Matt Schoeder (lives in France) – wanted to buy pair of tickets for random bahds to TNT show at the Rivoli

Reminiscing on Pop Shop & Seaman’s Beverages (“ban the can” campaign)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Stay Awake” jams [Youtube Playlist]
– “Painted Ladies” by Ian Thomas (North Bay, ON @ IGA; Norman (Jere) & Glen (Jono) unloading Margarine boxes. Norman’s calico cat “Scratchy”. “Who in the hell put this YOP in a non-refrigerated truck?”; Hacking darts & cutting corners)
– “Curious” by Sandbox (Regina, SK @ Taxi Dispatcher’s office for Cyril’s Taxi Service; Barry (Jere) & Kent (Jono). Kent transferring calls. Barry makes funny faces and annoying noises, has a shirts-off party. “My belly’s talking at you, bahd!”)
– [Taquitos @ the Irving for 2.99 in pre-Salvador voice]
– “Born to Be Wild” by Steppenwolf (Barrie, ON @ Ferndale Comet gas station; Gordie (Jono) & Toby (Jere). Toby is little brother since their mom is a “lady of the night”. Gordie focusing on the accounting; Toby eating candy bars and getting chocolate on the receipts. “You smell like…That shirt reeks like mom!” – “You son of a whore!”)
– “Lager and Ale” by Kim Mitchell (Cape Breton, NS @ Sobeys; Kyle (Jono) & Pete (Jere); Kyle has thick accent and critical of Pete’s work ethic. “See them mustards? Let’s put them over there by the ketchups! Grab a box and shut your word-hole…. Just cause you moved down here from Onscario doesn’t mean you can tell us what to do with our economy!… I’d appreciate it if you weren’t like a goddamn mosquito in my ear while I’m tryin to do stuff. Frig off and let me do my work, willya?… The only thing I like about Ontario is when people from there, stay there… Turn down this friggen Rock music.” — “The only guy I like that’s bald. He’s bald and I don’t even care!!” — “I would rather plunge myself with a fiery toilet brush than listen to 4 more bars of that!… Turn off this musical barf!” – These guys aren’t in a good place)

[“Holy Catfish! We’re half an hour in!]

– “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy. (Surrey, BC @ White Spot; Salvador (Jono) & Bri-Ashley (Jere); He’s greasy, she’s in high school. “You Canadians are so uptight, you need to relax…Do you know what else is dirty– my entire mind… Sorry for putting my hand on the small of your backs…” “GET LOST!!!” “Did you know that dance is a vertical expression of a horizontal intentions?” “Stop it! …Turn your music down. WAIT A SECOND! SHUT UP! Just keep your hands off of me, you greasy jerk!”) — Jonathan: “She’s MAAADDDDD!” Salvador: “I don’t understand your Canadian ways!” Both cackle laugh. Jonathan: “It’s easy, Salvador, just don’t be a pervy nightmare and you’ll fit right in!” “He’s too touchy feely, even for Spain.” Jeremy: “He’s just like, while he talks, grasping and grabbing always, like reaching and grabbing. His hands are like muppets…”
Jonathan calls Jeremy as Corey Hart

Popular kid names: Gord, Eddie, Tanya, Kevin, Larry, Lawrence, Glen, Glent, Bryant, Rait, Sue-Ann. “Do you wanna hold ______?”

Strip-The-Post Game
– Jeremy: “The Hole” in Sudbury: Double Ds of Glaze-Yer Berries
– Jonathan: “Skintimates” in Lethbridge: Jann Harden
– Jeremy: “The Watchlight” in Gimli: Kaelah Salad [Jonathan – “It makes me feel not very good about myself.”]
– Jonathan: “Lingerie n Lace” in Ottawa: Skim Campbell
– Jeremy: “Ray’s Sunshine House” in Renfrew: Wanda Baskervilles [Jonathan – “I feel oily. I feel terrible about myself, about us…”]
– Jonathan: “The Tuna Melt” in North Bay: Whora Secord
– Jeremy: “Dipper n Dip”: Le-Lani MacDonald
– Jonathan – “I had Pamela Ballin”==> Quebec “D’Accord le guys” announcer: “Hidden Hog”: Mann Murray “Right before your eyes she change genders”; Roadside hot-tractions
– Jeremy: “The Rack” in North Battleford; “Hands On’ in Grand Prairie; “Knockers” in Chilliwack; Beckie Barnyard-stomp; Flo Nelson; Maggie Mays

Potential names for Quebec announcer? Roch Vagine?
Jeremy’s story of getting peed on by childhood friend

Nickname discussion. Jonathan’s “Pick-a-Bum” nickname story. Jeremy: “That is beyond fucking gross!” Jonathan impersonates the “Pick-a-Bum” kid. 50-year old nickname of “ShitBox”; “Cum Cum Woah” ferry guy

Jonathan discusses J-Roc’s rendition of “Ahead By the Century” and being abducted by aliens; turns down gigs as J-Roc – “Pardon me, MAFK?”; Impersonations of Scandinavian Trailer Park Boys fans – “YodeLahey”

Jonathan shares about Nova Scotia Film Credit Rally

Jeremy had to do Snack Pack drop off duty; Jonathan had to drop off teddy bear duty

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Stop Singing” jams [“Shut Your Yap” jams] [YouTube Playlist]
– “Albert Flasher” by The Guess Who (2 bahds driving home after slo-pitch game; Gary & Dougger; “You read that pitcher like an Evangelical flyer, bahd!” “I have a case of friend-won’t-listen-to-me-itis.” Dougger tried quite a few distraction tactics!)
– “Rainy Day People” by Gordon Lightfoot (2 bahds finished work @ Boston Pizza, fired up to meet up with girl customers. Ash & Daryl. Ash mentions Bri-Ashley in her zebra pants, with Instagram who was going to quit her job at White Spot due to handsy new Canadian; Going to Dry-Humpery @ 10; “She’s a hot lookin’ tuna”; “Let’s grab some taquitos at the Irving…”; “DARYL, will you pull this Jesus Cordoba over and let me out?”)
– “High School Confidential” by Rough Trade (Salvador hitch-hiking & Cindy pumping gas for her Hyundai Pony; “…just while I work to understand your Canadian ways”; “I’m a Social Worker”; “I wouldn’t mind getting social with you… Any advice to help me meet ladies?”; “Perhaps putting on a shirt would do it. You are a little forward looking.”; “Touch my nipple for one second. I could cut glass. It’s like I’m smuggling raisins.” Salvador gets frustrated, talks skorts, wants out.)
– “Layin’ Pipe” by David Wilcox (Construction workers Linden & Brandt; “friggen rights”; “Couple of Hey Michelinas, couple of Hungry Man?”; Linden yells out the lyrics totally off tune; Brandt pretends to sleep. Jonathan: “I’ve been given time-outs for Car-monizing…)
– “As the Years Go By” by Mashmakhan (Spencer & his dad after soccer game; “They’re called cleats, big time.” “Do your hands hurt, Dad? From having a keen grasp of the obvious?” “That’s so interesting, Wikipedia!” “’Member before you got home from work? I loved that.”)

Jonathan’s Top 5 “Over the Course of a Wedding” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “Sign Your Name” by Terence Trent D’Arby (Watching the Couples Dance; Ted & Marcy; “Yikers Island, Ted!” “Is it just me, or are they consummating the marriage right now?” “Is that a snake?” “That’s not a snake, Marcy!” “What kind of sick party did you bring me to?”)
– “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle (Cringe-Inducing Father-Daughter song. Dina & Derrick (dad) who doesn’t like the new husband)
– “Let Your Backbone Slide” by Maestro Fresh Wes (Groomsmen choreographed routine. Keith & Petra. “Maybe if you let your backbone slide sometimes, that thing might fall out of your arse!” “This was a mistake! Turn this shit off! Forget it, Petra!” — Wires crossed–)
– “December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)” by The Four Seasons (“oh my god Cheryl, this is my jam” jam. Cheryl & Trina. Doing make-up in bathroom. “He’s been like super leaving eyeballs all over me, but I think I’m gonna do him.” “I wanna fuck him forsure…” “I can’t even…” – Meets Orville.)
– “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion (Orville & Trina are slow-dancing when Trina’s boyfriend, Kirby, shows up with a “possi mob deep”. “Thanks for dancing with my girlfriend and keeping her warm for me… Who are you, Gatsby?” “This is a wedding!” “It’s about to be a funeral.”)

End of April (Snow in Toronto; Canada items @ Dollarama in Nova Scotia)

Journey/Steve Perry Discussion. “South Detroit” is not actually a thing! ; Perry was “locked up in a cage with only food and water”; drummer (Deen) singing equally as good as Perry; How “Arnol” was found on the YouTubes.

Hockey Discussion: Connor McDavid, Toronto’s issues, lack of goal-tending/Defence, Kadri, Lupul, and Kessel hardships, playoff hockey intensity

COM-PERRY Game: Steve Perry vs. Arnol vs. Deen Castronovo singing “Don’t Stop Believing” –> How do bands survive the departures of their lead singers?

Jonathan does Steven Page impersonation (Jane, Pinch Me, Yoko Ono); both cackle laugh

Border crossing protocol on a tour bus

Summer Camp Reflections – Jonathan talks about bible camp – “side salad of God stuff”; Jeremy’s “Camp Kitchikewana” experience of the kid who shines his flashlight on his bird, comparing cock size–> refers to famous athlete “P11” reference: “Does it work to bring the hot lookin’ tunas around?”

Summer Camp Game (real or fake camp names)
– Jonathan: Skiff Lake, NB – Camp Cootaloogo
– Jeremy: Wenkler, MB – Camp Watchalista Counsela
– Jonathan: Falcon Lake, MB – Camp Itchaleggy [both cackle laugh]
– Jeremy: Chestermere, AB – Camp Trustafunda
– Jonathan: Stormer Lake, ON – Camp Crochadoo
– Jeremy: Duncan, BC – Camp Leavemalone
– Jonathan: Michipicoten Provincial Park, On – Camp Touchdis
– Jeremy: Mahone Bay, NS – Camp Getchaclothesoff
– Jonathan: Carpenter Lake, BC – Camp Ing
– Jeremy: Sayres Lake, BC – Camp Catchavirus

Sharon, Lois, & Bram show discussion; “Skinnamarink” – Lois died (April 22/15) – takes the edge off for the kids – “Squawkology in the back seat”

Jonathan does Australian Peter Garrett impersonation: “Beds are Burning” is a socially conscious kids show = worst show; both cackle laugh. “Look on the ground, it’s a carbon footprint!”; “Peter Garrett’s Wild Australia”

Hairstyle Discussion: “Master of Commander” hair; tennis ball hair; “I’ll take short hair for $600, Alex!”

Brief visitations of Salvador, Steven Page (Jonathan mentions Steven Page’s tweet to him; his desire to have Page join him onstage for a game)

“Frosty Soldiers, Cheers”

Jonathan’s Junos Award joke writing flop: “unlikely tour pairing” – Wide Mouth Mason announces plans to opens for Deborah Cox “Wide Mouth opens for Cox”

101.9 the Bird sticker giveaway- “Little boys have birds and little girls have front bums”

Role Call (free shirt): Distance driven (“not the furthest place, emotionally”) –> bahd in Saskatoon & Pembrook; (Small town name dropping – Jonathan @ Oilers game –> random guy sharing he necked with Jay Onrait’s sister)

Peter Garrett’s “Wild Australia” tv show – suppression of aboriginals

Poem Sayin’ Game
– Jeremy as Nic Nolte – “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera (“a little aggressive”)
– Jonathan as Cape Bretoner from Antigonish – “Possession” by Sarah McLachlan (Jonathan buys middle school gf a chain, which made her neck green)
– Jessie – (Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” is a “personal pronoun bus crash”) – “Foolish Games by Jewel (Jeremy refuses to share his “ridiculous” Jewel stories; sounds like a South Park character) – Complains about Jonathan on Street Cents & Jonovision (Jonathan knew it was time to leave when he thought Sum 41’s moms were hot)
– Jonathan as Salvador – “Stay” by Lisa Loeb

Jonathan: “I do impersonations of people no one wants to hear.”

Jonathan recalls meeting the queen; going to “queen school”; “yeah, yeah”; dissed by Prince Phillip –> “It was peanut brutal, as the kids say.”

Mike from tnt.ca website asks a question for “shits and giggles” – “How did you guys come together?” –> doing Karaoke together as Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt. “Peripheral friends but not besties”

Jeremy tells about meeting Jonathan at Matt Mayes house party, playing left-handed drum kit; their appreciation for social commentary

Jeremy: “Erect is good when you’re trying to make something happen”

Mike Clattenberg’s Call-Centre Darts

Jonathan discusses finding it hard to turn down fan requests for J-Roc appearances at bachelor parties. “He goes from zero to dixty” real quick. = Deactivated Facebook.

Jonathan’s friend goes on date with David Spade, who takes her to “Big Mama’s House 2”

Hit the Post Game
– Jeremy: 102.3 The Jackyl in Orillia: “Careless Whisper” by George Michael
– Jonathan: 99.9 The Narwhal in North Bay: “Closer to the Heart” by Rush [Jonathan gets booed! Jeremy references and defends his TLC Hit the Post]
– Jeremy: 105.9 The Dove in Sarnia: “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS [“This guy had a little bit of a rough go… I don’t know about you but I like belts around my waist, not my neck”]
– Jeremy: 99.4 The COQK in Red Deer: “Do It Again” by Steely Dan [“Like disgraced sprinter, Ben Johnson…”]
– Jonathan: 105.9 The Dove in Sarnia: “The Look” by Roxette [“Hey Dovers!”]
– [Saying “Good Morning” right before Hit the Post’]
– Uncle Jessie: 107.5 The CONT in: “All My Life” by Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt [Mic doesn’t work – “Bring your world hole over here, Uncle Jessie”]. –> “What a Man” by Salt-n-Peppa
– Wes from Greenbank: [Jonathan tells Camouflage motorcyle story]: 88.8 The Owl: “Kiss Me, You Fool” by the Northern Pikes.–> “Romantic Traffic” by The Spoons. [Jeremy: “WES, I WANT YOU ON THE RADIO, NOW!”; Jonathan: “I don’t remember life before Wes, and I don’t want to!”; “WWWD: What Would Wes Do?” – “A Wes-Planation”]

Jeremy tells story of being on mushrooms, playing encore with Sam Roberts Band, doing 5 minute drum solo [Jonathan: “That’s like taking an uzi to a kitten fight”]

Audience Question: If you were a stripper, what would your 3 song set be?
– Jeremy: “Bye Bye Mon Cowboy” by Mitsou
– Jonathan does Corey Hart impersonation – “Phone You Yop” before greasy Quebec strip club guy. Shares broken English “Waiting For You” by Richard Marx
Audience Question: Can Jeremy play a drum solo?

Jonathan’s being quiet in his Miami hotel; hates the beats in the elevator and “ill-fitting spandex items”; pumped cologne into the hallways

Debriefed the live show at the Rivoli; Jonathan – “highlight of my life”; working to make merch available online, sharing intentions to go on tour, “annual Bahdstival” or BBQ

Jeremy talks about the importance of “pract-tick”

Miniature Ponies upcoming gig for 500; “hard to pract-tick because everyone works in film”; Jeremy: “are you going to fire a BNL tune in there?”- suggests & sings “Jane”

Jeremy defines paradiddle, mamadada drum beats; describes “One Man Army” and “Stealing Babies” as two of his favourites

Discussion on BB King’s passing

Jeremy discusses his favourite hotels “ones that have feel”; San Francisco, Spain, Quebec City, New York; “maxi mini-bars”’; putting beds together and jumping on the beds; tour manager waking Jeremy up for an early-morning flight

Random flight-related issues: stomach troubles, Jeremy’s had migraines, the shits, a yank (‘because I was bored”); Jonathan talks about watching Nacho Libre 3x on his commute to and from Maui–> distaste for Jack Black; discuss comedic actors and their roles

Jonathan discusses his inability to do audition well; “Titleist – watch it fly”; Vegas Casino commercial @ Crabs table showing excitement, “I’m dying inside!” before learning. “It’s important to know what you’re good at and quit tryin’ to mow that grass.”

“Did Richard Klein win at life? Discuss”

Jonathan auditioned with Danny Bonaduce and his wife; “It was devastating, Dootchbags”

Bahd Mailbag: @bucketstp – “Context for May 2-4?” From Daniel – “What Canadian movie would you like to star in?” — Jeremy: “Goin’ Down the Road”; Jonathan: “I’d love to play Gordon Lightfoot at some point…. Yorkville & folk scene”

Jonathan discusses rice cakes – “I’ve been on low level gut watch for 4 months” – Pounding “sleeves of rice cake garbage… Might as well be eating dust bunnies. I’ve been eating door stops made of sawdust”; Jeremy crushes 1 bag Chicago Mix per week

Bahd Mailbag continued: @pokeybandit – “After Babcock, who will we end up talking endlessly about?”’ “Any plans for a live show in Halifax?” ; From Kirk Degaust: “What’s the worst meal you’ve ever eaten?” — Jonathan: “Not worst – but different… In Northern Community, raw Caribou being chopped up on the gym floor; muktuk/whale blubber”; Jeremy: Dish soap pasta. “Tasted like I was being poisoned.” Jonathan: “mesquite crunchers.” From Colin Haggarty: “Favourite Cottage activity other than getting banged up?” — Discuss the possibility of the “shut up around the campfire” jams

Activities for kids– Sug doing Timbits soccer– discuss favourite Timbit flavours, discuss the frozen not baked; syringes to inject timbits.

Discussing shorts (jean shorts; Jeremy wearing classic 3-stripe 90s Adidas shorts)

Jonathan’s favourite sneaker ever: Low top Adidas Patrick Ewings (size 12) –> Discuss Converse, Kangaroos, Rugby pants, Adidas duffle bag from mars, Happy Days lunchbox, Jonathan’s Grey construction site Thermos “Just never landed in the pocket”

Lunch Time anxiety. Jonathan: “Kids with the jello or pudding. We weren’t allowed that stuff. I had a head of lettuce and come carrot sticks”… “Gag-it-down sawdust granola bars”

Jonathan’s Gr. 1 trip to Houston. Buys a white 3-piece suit. “I would not take my eyes off the prize.”

Discussion about Mr. Dressup, Mr. Rogers, Fred Penner, & Raffi

Crash Test Dummies. They both sing “Superman’s Song”; Jonathan overplays “First Noel” while selling t-shirts in Cavendish

Jonathan’s idea for sketch: John Mayer’s back-up singer “Waiting”

“Want to?!”

Collin Hanks is doing “Callin Pranks” on comedy network

Canadian or Can-Not-ian Game: The Instant Replay; The Egg Carton; Peanut Butter; Motorized Wheelchair; The Garbage Bag; Zamboni; The Bag Tag (diversion to McCain punch commercial); The Paint Roller (Norm Breaky should be Bahd of the week); Liquid Paper (Mike Neismith from the Monkees – “trustfunda”)–> “Must’ve gone the way of the dodo”–> discuss the lack of penmanship/handwriting

Discussion about Beatles movies – Hard Day’s Night; Magical Mystery Tour

Jeremy shares about Letterman’s retirement, dinner with Elvin Jones, chilly Ed Sullivan theatre, playing on Conan O’Brien

Jonathan discusses his time on “Game On”

Jeremy shares Anneliese Kindergarten story. “I just said, ‘whatever’.” followed by eye-roll

Popularized Household Phrases: Jeremy – “Alien Sized” ice cream. Jonathan – “Showy-shows,” “Tote-Bag” – it’s really kinda valley girl and weird, “Will do, mildew” – Doesn’t even make sense, don’t like myself when it comes out of my mouth. (Jeremy: “That’s some heavy dad talk, right there”)

Jeremy’s dad would do pirouette farts; the uncle that would grab too hard (Jonathan – “Uncle Noogies”; Jeremy “Beat the shit out of you.” – Borderline assault); Jonathan’s brother sitting on him, using his own hands to punch him; Jeremy behind held down with spit coming out of face

Childhood Games: Choke (hold breath, other guy squeezes; Jeremy tells story about brother’s friend who fell onto gravel road); Jonathan hates towel snapping and wet willies; Making forts; Chuck-the-Boot (steel-toed boot tossed in the air, you have to accept where it lands. Jonathan: “That’s a game where no one wins”); Wind Bag (Jonathan’s neighbour that chases Sobey’s bag. Jeremy: “Was she all there?”; Jonathan: “That’s a game anyone can play. Sometimes the bag wins, sometimes you win.”); Letting air out of tractor tires;

Jeremy shares about finding dead animals hanging in neighbour’s yard

Jeremy: “Yikers Island” & “What-ev Salad”

400,000 downloads on iTunes. (Jeremy: “That’s horny, bahd!)”

Bahds of the Week: Ralph & Kevin from Ralph’s Towing; young couple; Mike (“Hop in, you’re not going to kill me, are you?”)

Jonathan recording in his Airstream trailer in the driveway

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Speedboat” jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “Miami Vice” theme song
– [Cigaret boat conversation; Adirondack vs Muskoka chairs; Kelly Gruber on IR but doin “rooster-tails”]
– “Panama” by Van Halen (Muskoka, ON @ Lake Joe; Tyler (Jere) & Luke (Jono) on a beer run. “How’s your mom doing since the divorce? …Cause she’s never looked better…. Pump the breaks on the alpha-male stuff, bro-dude!”)<br?
– “In the Summertime” by Mungo Jerry (Glen (Jono) & Linda (Jere) crossing the lake to visit Linda’s brother & deliver biscuits. “Linda, why are you the colour of Kermit the Frog?” “I’m not feeling well, because I don’t like going on the water, you IDIOT!” “Your brother looks dynamite! Hi, Tim!”)
– [Jeremy doesn’t like going fast on the water]
– “Beverly Hills Cop” theme song (Leith (Jono) & Carp “Cause I just crush the bottom feeders” (Jere); 60 but look 35, well to-do business men “Captains of Industry” that one-up each other; Aquasocks, Schooner’s in town, Bentley, BMW, & Ferrari talk, “first-hand cool guy”, Stradivarius.) Jeremy: “It’s the same version as like a fight in Grade 6.” Jonathan: “Don’t you hate those dudes? Don’t like those dudes” , Jeremy: “Those guys are the D-Baggers”
– “Idle Eyes” by Tokyo Rose (Jezebel – bad girl at school (Jere) & Nerdy Neil (Jono) on a first-date, borrowed parents’ boat; “I thought you had a dad bod” “Those Physics books aren’t going to lift themselves.” Jezebel wants to jump Neil. They both jump into the lake, the boat burls into Schooner’s)
– “Some Like it Hot” by The Power Station (Cap (Jere) & Kyle (Jono) hungover but Kyle’s on something; “I went through the valley of being tired, but now I’m wide awake, bro, look at the sunrise!.. I’m gonna pound some pancakes, and toast, and eggs, sausage and bacon, and ham,and cereal, and porridge, dude I’m gonna see if they have lunch, and a BLT, and club sandwich and fries, then a belly rub…” “You’re way too zapped, man! You’re killing me, you’re like on an electric fence!”) Jeremy: “I don’t like Kyle, at all… He’s a coked out psychopath!” Jonathan: “I’m worried about those guys.

Jonathan got called into work, had to abandon poddy; recording in his “studio” under the basement stairs, with no air circulation, has a waiting area with 2 chairs.

TNT Snacks for Green Room: Chicago Mix & Cookie Sandwiches “like door stops.. will take the edge off real quick”

Discuss debut on Toronto’s Newstalk 1010. (Respect for solo radio hosts having conversations with themselves for 3 hours)

Childhood Games from the Bahds:
– Warren Mulvey – Speaker wire & Snapple bottle as pet dog;
– Tony – Create rock mansions to put wrestlers and Hot Wheels, then smash it with bigger rocks;
– Kevin Petty – Stacked up old tires on old rusty ogre;
– Joe Archer – Back to the Future – kick tin can with gasoline while wearing dad’s boots “Gas, Children, & Fire!”;
– Phillip – Take turns throwing rocks at each other while shielding with garbage can lid; street hockey shots with frozen tennis ball or orange balls;
– Goldie – throwing hacky sacks around a dark room until everyone looses;
– John King – Shoot bow & arrow into air while friend runs around trying to catch it with Styrofoam<br?
– Jeremy shares how Ronnie took a turn on the rigged up electric chair; rolled barrels down stairs on guys<br?
– Jonathan driving in Venice, CA – seeing Laser on his chest. “Venice 13, they’re bad news bears!”; Jeremy gets stuck in weed dealer’s place with Frank Stallone in Venice

Cabo Dress code: no sleeves on t-shirt, “tank top and board shorts”, fire tattoos, sunglasses on the back of your neck. Jonathan: “Sunglasses on head is douche adjacent. Sunglasses on the back of your neck is full douche-bag.” Jeremy: “Could the Guy Fieri guy be the most greasy guy ever in American history of tv shows?… Yikers Island!”

Tom Arnold (“Snorted up half of Peru”)& Snoop Dogg on Trailer Park Boys

Olsen twins hacking darts non-stop; Ashley & Avril Lavigne have Lyme disease. Jonathan: “Where’s Ashley Olsen running into a tick?” Jeremy: “Some hipster sweater guy from Mumford & Sons” – “Crushing Pills & Hacking Darts” – throwing them across the room like Tic-Tacs, or like Pac-Man on the counter.

“You need to be FLOATING when you have a tooth ache”

Discussion on Prescription Drug Addiction (liquid Codeine)

“If you buy a sweater at Urban Outfitters, they give you a hipster name to go with it.” – Lindor, Lindt, Hawkins, Cadbury, Nougat [both cackle laugh], Reese’s, Oh Henry,

Last day of school before summer summer

Jonathan’s Home Studio sounds like a bathroom?! Need some sweaters or egg cartons for the walls? “Treat this like a Steely Dan album” – Jeremy discusses big vs small room sound.

Reference to Stand By Me movie: Jeremy shares curiosity towards seeing a dead body; Jonathan shares a Trailer Park Boys “walking into sunset” scene.

Jeremy’s RJ Logan story: 1989, age 14. Greasy 2 bedroom apartment. 3355 Western Rd – Paradise Towers” in West end. His mom says, “smells like somebody fucking died down there!” He and Jetson investigate. “Gasp of a smell… so intense… gross and terrible.” The guy died on his couch, wasn’t discovered for nearly 2 weeks. Ambulance came to get body – but as they went down the stairs, the body almost comes off the gurney. Saw his grey face. His couch was left behind in the lobby, tipped up on its side. “The body releases all the what’s inside of you after 2 days or something like that… So that’s also the big issue, the contents of the body being everywhere.” Jonathan – “So, RJ’s Hungry Man dinner is also on the couch?” [both laugh] Pair of gloves left behind in the laundry room garbage, soaked with “RJ-ness”.

Ronnie rages in “angry heat” at Paradise Towers

Weird friendships like “cottage friends.” Jonathan shares about golf balls into the water; catching crabs with dimes in their bellies; Jeremy watches Batman marathons

Jonathan’s daughter’s graduates kindergarten (French lyrics for songs like “I Love Rock n Roll”); Jeremy’s daughter thinks everyone is leaving forever; Jonathan’s “Under-6 soccer”

Jeremy’s brother Jetson works at the Ferndale Comet; 15 year old friend squatting in some building & “pickin pockets”, gets girl pregnant – “Huckleberry Finn-type character”

Jeremy and Jetson steal money from the 90-year-old man selling corn on the side of the road in Mansfield; birthday cash from extended family

Jonathan’s summer jobs: selling t-shirts on Cavendish boardwalk, hosting Karaoke by night. Lived in abandoned ice cream shack with 3 cots.

Canadianity: The Book – Fall of 2016 release. Harper Collins is publisher. “We’re gonna have to start wearing turtlenecks and smoking pipes” –> Thick Wale Cord pants

Update on Newstalk 1010 Radio show. “We’re probably not talking about RJ Logan…”; doing things outside of comfort zone; planning tour dates; Jonathan pitches idea of doing 50th episode in a bahd’s house #bahdshouse #comeonoverbahds #bahdfest

Miniature Ponies 3rd gig raising money for Community Centre. “It’s a horse of a different colour”playing for a couple hundred folks. “We wanted to bring the thunder right out of the gate.” Drinks raised over the head = when you know folks are into it. “This winter was such a donkey fister!”

Jeremy shares live performance gaffs: Lights going out, fire alarms, electricity fails, outdoor power failure – PA failure, water bottles thrown on stage “technical difficulty due to asshole”, Chad Kroeger getting hit with shoe, crowd surfer catches a beer

Jonathan sings “Sex & Candy” by Marcy Playground; most over-rated band: Limp Bizkit – Fred Durst sex tape?; Jeremy’s concert bucket list: Derek & the Dominos (OneDirection missing out without Zaine); Jonathan’s concert bucket list: Dixie Chicks (had tickets for CMT Crossroads James Road & Dixie Chicks)

“Are we crossing the country in a van?” “A little planes, trains, and automobiles… I like the idea of stopping at a greasy motel and doing a podcast.”

Further discussion on podcast at bahd’s house. Tell us why we should do a podcast at your house at taggartandtorrens@gmail.com

Discussion about mental health and suicide, with the overwhelming stigma

Jonathan’s daring move with chocolate milk in the coffee

Jonathan moves into “echo town” recording closet; talks about needing to buy fabric from “Fabric-ville”; discusses “Swap Shop” on the pod – “TNT’s barter n trade”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Long Drive Vacation” jams
– [“Delivering your mouth to the whack” ; Ronnie would do the swinging “tornado fists” to the shins – “The bone hammers”]
– “Graceland” by Paul Simon (Dad (Jere) & kid in back seat(Jono) not feelin it.) Jonathan breaks character to sing along. (“Now that you understand that this song cannot be denied as a classic, maybe you’ll shut up!. “Dad, why don’t you put on some classic rock, like Avril… early Avril. Can you put on sk8r-boi?”) Jonathan sings “The Obvious Child”
– “It’s Still Rock & Roll to Me” by Billy Joel (only child Donald (Jono) & Regan (Jere) & Girlfriend Illana (Jono) driving from Toronto to Turkey Point,hoping to get busy with new girlfriend; Donald’s allergic to pollen and needs Epipen; “I didn’t know we’d have extra baggage…”; “I think I’m gonna be sick on the back of Illana’s neck.”) Jonathan recollects barfing in his mom’s boyfriend’s convertible; Jeremy barfs Banana Milk in Germany; Jonathan’s Jerk Chicken & Mango Lassi combo
– “End of the Line” by Travelling Wilburys (Mom Pamela (Jono) & George (Jere); “Do you think you could score us some Mary Jane, this weekend?” Pamela sets him up. “Hector, pull over, I want to examine George’s pockets!”)
– “If I Had a Rocket Launcher” by Bruce Cockburn (ragey dad (Jere) & hitchhiker Salvador (Jono) driving from Halifax to Murtle Beach; “It’s so nice and cozy between your twin daughters” “You keep your hands between your legs!” Refers to Bri-Ashley “I did not understand her ways”, “I thought I recognized your breath!”)
– “Sugar Mountain” by Neil Young (Blanka (Jere) & Maureen (Jono) stoner girls on bus heading to Pemberton; “I wonder if there will be any dudes in board shorts and flat-brimmed hats?’ “Don’t neck boys with beards, cause that’s how you get ticks!” “What-Evs” “I’m not coming home until I have a tick.” “Lyme Disease or bust, Maureen!”)

Jonathan’s Mr. D co-worker worked as milk man and on 80s music videos

Can-80s Game
– “Kiss You (When It’s Dangerous)” by Eight Seconds (for Jeremy 0-0)
– “We Run” by Strange Advance (for Jonathan 0-0)
– “Tokyo Rose” by Idle Eyes (for Jeremy 1-0)
– “Got to Pieces” by Paul Janz (for Jonathan 0-1)
– “Diamond Sun” by Glass Tiger (for Jeremy 2-0) –> Allen Frew impersonation for 7 minutes (both burst out laughing) Working the Tim Hortons drive-frew. “I went from Glass Tiger to Giant Tiger” “Coconut Joe shirt” “Roots Jacket with a beaver Canoe” “Calgary Olympics jumper” (both cackle laugh) Jeremy: “That’s enough of the Frew” Jonathan: “I don’t know if it is!” “I got grass stains on my yoga pants”
– “Drop the Needle” by Maestro Fresh Wes (for Jonathan 1-2)

Debrief the Fredrock music Festival; Jeremy says “obviously” more times than he wants to; raised $1,000 for Student Hunger Program; Auctioning off Trailer Park Boys hoody for $560; J-Roc appearance with Jere on the beat-box

Discussing tour plans – “tweet us to tell us where you are” @taggartntorrens

Jonathan shares bucket-list desire of playing Gordon Lightfoot in a movie–> 1st appearance of Bernie & Gord. Gord pitches song idea for “If You Could Read My Mind” –> (midway through Gord turns into Corey Hart) –> “Hey Bernie!” (both laugh; Jeremy loses it) –> Salvador shows up to sleep with Gord’s wife = “Sundown is English for Salvador”; Gord’s 1st divorce was “bad news bears” setting records in Canada

Plastic frog thing (kiddie pool), slip n slide, Wet Banana = Wet Concussion. “I split my thorax open sliding downhill on a thing.”

Top Stitches Story. Jonathan sliced thumbs open while working at all-you-can-eat Lobster Restaurant. Jeremy getting banged up for the first time, wrestling onto garbage bags – “getting bull-rushed… it’s a bad move” King Kong Bundy style. “Shouldered into broken glass… Wrestling’s over! Be careful when you’re wrestling on the garbage bags.”

Jeremy googles details about Uruguay

Jeremy discusses childhood friends Alex & Alex –> Jonathan lists 2 types of friends (people who are like you & history friends– “Aww ‘Member?”); the significance of good quality friends; not wasting time with shallow, sinking sand negative people

Jeremy’s Top 5 “It’s Too Hot” jams
– “Too Hot” by Alanis Morissette (Jonathan dove tails into Poem Sayin’: “Is it about sexy ambition?” Jonathan reads out 3rd verse. Jeremy – “It’s the original “Lose Yourself” by Eminem!”)
– “Ludi” by Dream Warriors (young Jeremy Taggart (Jono) & Ronnie (Jere) in Paradise Towers; Questions non-stop back and forth. “Why do our names all start with J?” “GO TO BED!”)
– “Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie & the Blowfish (unemployed & quit school bahds in 1997: Connie (Jono) & Reardin (Jere); “Reardin, tell me one move you’re making. The blow-fish have more moves than you.”; “It might be because I’m really hot, or because I find Hootie’s voice really grating… but the point is, I just am kinda sick and tired of hearing you talk about how you’re maybe one day sorta be making moves when I’m sitting here, marinating in my own desperation… My dad was sucked into a turbine!”) Jonathan – “Reardin is goin’ nowhere fast!”
– [Jonathan reveals he had a Hootie & the Blowfish cassette in his car; Jeremy talks about Darius Rucker being “hung like a mule” and “sporting a cricket bat”]
– “Summer in the City” by Lovin Spoonful (Rube from Kitchener (Jere) & Jesse from BC (Jono); building sheds; looking forward to travelling to Uruguay, talks about Alex and Bri-Ashley “We were close, like super close, like within 6 feet.” “DUDE!!!” “Hotter than a cobra’s taint out there.”) = Jeremy plays clips of “Do You Believe in Magic” and “Didn’t Have to be So Nice”
– “What a Day for a Daydream” by John Sebastian (Kylie (Jere) & east-coast Robert (Jono); “I always thought you were right cute.” “If I bring some Country Time lemonade, maybe we could neck for a bit… You’re friggen green, are ya? I could fix that right quick.” Discuss Hostess Munchies. “I can’t stand the sound of your voice, it ‘s like a car alarm. So either you shut your mouth and we get to the neckin’, or I’m walking away.”) Jeremy plays “Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind” & “Welcome Back”

Jonathan shares about the 2-Faced Game: John Sebastian Bach; George Michael Jackson

Jonathan: “That’ll suck the tears out of your look-balls” (The Lovin’ Spoonful & Barra MacNeils – “Darling, Be Home Soon”)

Lucy from Barra MacNeils played harp at Torrens wedding. “When she hits the high

“man plans and God laughs, as they say”

Kanye’s concert with the lights on; Lenny Kravitz “fires out his bird” ; “from nip slips to cock slips” – “it popped open pretty hilariously…it’s classic. I saw a gif” “A gif from God.” “It wrastled its way out there…” “..like an elephant’s truck? It just rolled out there?”

Jonathan took “tiny roommates” to Nashville; shares being “donkey fisted” by airlines, changing both of their flights; Sees Marc Costanzo from Len in the airport (Jeremy talks about partying in Kelowna at Mark’s “Steal My Sunshine” Chalet)

Discuss plans for Comedy & Canadianity tour; hesitation from Saskatoon. Jonathan: “I know for a fact, I know as well as I know my own face that there’s lots of Bahds in Saskatoon, because we hear from them all the time.”

Discussion of Chris Hyndman’s passing

Gord shows up and briefly visits Bernie in “egg-carton town”

Randy Bachman’s running monologue to guitar music; Tal Bachman is doing the lord’s work, passing out the Mormon “whatnot” literature –> Bachmanism. “Is Randy Mormon? Is he?”

Jonathan’s Top 5 “Shutter Down Campfire” jams
[“For The Luva…; Shut the Fuck Up” jams]
– “Wonderwall” by Oasis (Trip (Jere) & guitar playing Cody (Jono); “I don’t need to be hearing your cheap t-bag tunes… You don’t even know the Gallagher jams! SHUT UP!!!!”) Jonathan: “Poor guy isn’t relaxing at all!”
– “Superman (It’s Not Easy)” by Five for Fighting (Rory (Jono) & Liza (Jere); Liza gets stood up from a guy she met online and meets guitar playing Rory at her campsite; “don’t really need a reminder from the 9/11 song.”)
– “More than Words” by Extreme (Denver (Jono) & Allan (Jere); “Cheesy Hair band from Boston? NO THANKS! I hate guys who smack the guitar on the beat. Do you know how much the song sucks?” “I have better things to do tonight than to stare at your baby poo brown eyes… SHUT UP BAHD!” “The cheap, fake Beatles part? FORGET IT!”) Jeremy hates the guitar knocking.
– “Time in a Bottle” by Jim Croce (hippie 60s couple – Glenda (Jere) & Lukas (Jono); “I’m trying to play the song for you, not with you.” Lukas shushes Glenda from singing along. “I’m trying to have fun, Lukas! Just play it and shut up!” Glenda sings along like a monk. “You know what? I want a divorce. You will not interrupt me one more time!”)
– “Time of Your Life (Good Riddance)” by Green Day (Teenaged couple – Charmaine (Jere) & Derek (Jono); Charmaine wants to do it, but he wants to play through the song first. “ooh, well, let’s practice. Wanna practice? Wanna try me out? Wanna take a taste of the candy bar before you buy it?” Gordon Lightfoot impersonation continues singing. “Maybe I should take my shirt off… Did you say hard on?”)
– Honourable Mentions: Brown Eyed Girl, House of the Rising Sun, American Pie, Wagon Wheel, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Hurt. Songs that shouldn’t be allowed around campfire, like “Oh What a Night” and “Chicken Dance” at weddings

Gord visits Bernie, discusses song idea about sinking “Edmond Fitzgerald” ship. (both cackle laugh) “Great moments in the origins of Canadian songs.” Bruce Cockburn’s “Wondering Where the Lions Are” originated in Bernie’s office.

Jeremy gives update on his busted finger from the garage slam; not able to golf

Gordon Lightfoot cover acts: Whispers of the North–> Burton Cummings as Gord YouTube clip. Cummings vs Bachman argument. Jeremy is “60’s Guess Who fan”.

Carol & Jonathan go out for Cow’s Ice Cream, run into Bob Mackowycz

Toronto Blue Jays update; Jeremy talks about his sports radio gigs, Pitch Talks panel, NEWSTALK1010 debrief when Jonathan was absent (“couples that get banged up together, stay together?”

Jeremy gives update on Ronnie dealing with the heat; alludes to RJ Logan smell’ “shorts & shirts off”; loves watching Mantracker & Survivor Man. Jonathan’s watching the Bachelor

David Spade has a new show. “Is it called annoying little guy in an office that says cheap one liners and pretends that he’s cool?” Jeremy recalls seeing him in a bar trying to wheel ladies. Re-mention Jonathan’s story of David Spade taking friend to theatre to watch his new movie’s preview.

Jeremy’s big friend “Cloutch” Brent Cloutier who swam fast and drinks 60 beers in a night; played AHL; his parents own Mr. Sub

“We should do the tour in a Prius!” Jonathan discusses the sexy Airstream trailer. Discuss the “bahdmobile”.

Jonathan’s neighbour lists his property – quoted Jonathan a price 3x higher than what he actually listed it for.

Top 5 “80s Jays/Expos Walk-Up” jams
– Jonathan does Franglais introductions for: #8 – Gary Carter; Andre Dawson – “Foul Ball-ism”; Tim Raines – Phil Collins jam; #37 – Tom Dickson – “Oh Yeah” by Yello; #0 – Al Oliver; #29 – Tim Wallach – “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel) [Jeremy snickers] Jonathan is sweating up a storm, “marinating in myself”.

Jonathan shares about trip to Chicago; no issues with this trip! Taking tiny roommates “Griswald Camping”; discuss the mosquito attack – Jeremy – “makes me hot”

Jonathan shares about charlie-horses in his calf; Jeremy shares about sleep paralysis

One-Hit Wonders – “How Bizarre” by OMC; “Unbelievable” by “EMF”;

Hairy famous people: Gino Vanelli, Eugene Levy, “Hairy Gibb”, Robin Williams

Birthed’eh Game (birthday and 3 options)
– March 22, 1931 –> William Shatner (“He looks Shat-tastic”; “The Shat came back, the very next day”)
– May 1, 1960 –> Stu Jeffries
– March 2, 1935 –> (Jonathan talks it out) Al Waxman
– November 8, 1971 –> Ocean Hellman
– September 24, 1972 –> Neil Hope “Wheels” (Died November 25, 2007)
– July 8, 1948 –> Raffi

Jonathan does more Franglais introductions

Jeremy talks about “Pitch Talks” in Hamilton; Jays GM, new Leafs management

Torrens Family Camping Update: Jonathan – “I think we’re campers, bahd!”; Jeremy – “You went for a double dip?… You’re living like Yanni out there!” Jonathan – “Power, Water, Poo Site”; Jeremy’s cottage adventures; Gated Community for Tiny Humans. DVD Combo Platter with Bruce Cockburn’s “Franklin” theme song.

Discuss plans for 50th episode at a Bahd’s house. “Risk is high, but the reward is pretty cool.” #bahdbeque

Jonathan’s hyper, all fired up and giddy, 3 cups of coffee in, buys bike, considers Tae-Bo or & Zumba, needs spandex for his turdcutter, John Deer glove down his pants. “tuckin hard”; construction guys pooping in bathtubs; peeing in cups.

“Let’s get into our Top 5! Want to?”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Back to School” jams
– “Bus Rider” by The Guess Who (Matthias (Jono) & Miller (Jere); Buddies on the school bus, 1st Day back; hand-me-down cords; french horn, “integers suck”; javelin practice, “Hey Malcolm, turn down that dusty old music” on the Walkman) “They were gonna get their faces punched in”
– [Shout out to the guys who wear sunglasses on the backs of their necks. Equivalent to truck nuts. The new rat-tail. Jeremy talks about guy watching laptop jerkin off in an apartment with windows]
– “___________” by ____________(Oliver (Jono) & Fiona (Jere); Oliver has a crush on Fiona, she’s not feeling it; “Did you just say Oliver-Clothes off?” “No, I asked how was your summer!” “What’s your favourite subject?” “My favourite subject is Fiona” “That’s gross!”) “Maybe Oliver should switch seats… it’s not happening”
– “Funk 49” by James Gang (Mr. Dez (Jere) & Kent (Jono); Cafeteria Manager and friendless Kent; “My English teacher, Mrs. Scooby said I can call her Ann this year.” Mr. Dez yells at Malcolm; “Trouser Chili”)
– [Jonathan tells about a 1989 Crown Vic full of 5 guys at Shoppers Drug Mart who “thought they were pretty big time”; “Thought they were revenge of the nerds”)
– “Misty Mountain Hop” by Led Zeppelin (Norbert (Jere) & Rex (Jono); 2 geeks bantering back at forth; “If Malcolm’s not careful, he’s gonna be asked to leave this study hall!” “Malcolm Powder” “Hey Malcolm, the computer program you designed is flawed” “Let me pass the aloe vera plant to soothe the burns”) “I love those guys… I’d be friends with those guys… ‘Prepare for Deportation’”
– “Sounds of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel (Malcolm (Jere) & English Teacher (Jono); Malcolm doesn’t respond to any questions asked of him.) “I’m so frustrated with Malcolm and I’m not even in the class… He’s allergic to the world… parenting”

Jonathan involved with Tenancy board after husky-owning tenant leaves rental suite.

Canadian or Ca-NOT-ian kids’ shows theme songs
– Jeremy – Caillou (“He’s not actually a likeable kid”; “He’s got all kinds of issues” “He’s just a hairless kid who has a real bug up his ass!”)
– Jonathan – The Uncle Bobby Show (Jeremy’s mom gave up her childhood pet monkey to the Uncle Bobby Show)
– Jeremy – Inspector Gadget (50% Canadian! Jason Alexander as Inspector Gadget? “The character of George is more likeable…”)
– Jonathan – It’s the Great Space Coaster (With Gary Gnu)
– Jeremy – Rocket Robin Hood (“Friar Tuck crushing all the eats” – Canadian! “I’m a suck-a-potomus at this game!”)
– Jonathan – Romper Room (Australia, Japan, & USA had their own versions.)

Discuss Orange Mafk celebrities: John “really tanned, no neck” Gallagher; Steve Anthony; Lloyd Robertson; Jay Onrait in the early days; “Spray guns at CTV”

PEI theme park camping. Mr. Magic’s show (retiree amateur magician). Brings kids on stage, so nobody can leave. Chicken puppet lays eggs in empty bag: “What didst you do with the eggs, girlst?” Jono’s kid gets Sobey’s garbage bag hat from him, wants Mr. Magic to have a CBC radio show. “You havin’ a problem with turmites, ares ya? Phone lines are opent… How windy is it where you’re at?”

Bahd’s House for 50th episide: @andrewax1 –> rolling the dice with bahdism. “Chips will be plentiful.”

Discuss favourite moments from first 50 episodes: Canadianity Simplicity, Jeremy misses the calls, Jonathan loves Jeremy hitting the post with TLC’s “Waterfalls”; sometimes silly, sometimes serious; “Getting to know you has been a gas”; listener feedback in “real-time back & forthery”; listeners feel like the 3rd person in the conversation; tarantuals in bananas; dad sucked into wind turbine

Salvador appearance: “Thank you for asking my face. I am the assistant managers at the Orange Julius… We have wrapped sausages… I want to deposit it into the mouth of the girl who’s buying it across the counter from me.”

“Bahd” signs at Arkells shows for Tim. “Bahd him right out”

Provide update for fall tour plans: “You and I in a firefly convertible”; small intimate venues; request suggestions about great places to visit #bahdbites –> Love Bites & Def Leopard discussion –> Mutt Lange doesn’t write songs, he writes lists; Mutt Lange’s moving a lake

Sibling or Sib-Lie/Family or Fam-a-Lie Game
– John Candy’s brother Jim?
– Rod Stewart’s brother Rob? (“Do you think I’m sexy?”)
– Paul Gross’s brother Tony? (“a recent picture… looks like Beethoven”; “Looks like Marley from a Christmas Carol… Father of Confederacy?”)
Dion Phaneuf’s brother Dane? (“What didst ya do with the eggs, Dane?”; “I know Dane n them”)
Cory Hart’s brother Robbie? (Jonathan picked the same one for his list)
Alanis Morissette’s brother Wade? (Jeremy has met him! Dreadlocks weed guy)
Al Waxman’s brother Hal?
Mario Lemieux’s brother Alan? (Franglais complaints between Lemieux brothers)
Gino Vanelli’s brother Joe? (“Hey Ma!!” [Jonathan snickers] “This meatball’s lyin on the couch over here!”) Jonathan – “I want Joe and Gino Vanelli to have a show on CTV right now called “Gumba”… Guy, let me tell you something right quick.” Cheap BRIO beer. –> Jonathan’s Jonovision character “Gino Valente”: “Gino, you’re asinine”–> “Thanks, yours is about a 7, 7.5”

Introductions of Andrew and his bahds – He’s described as “unique & greasy”; Sloppy’s & The Kave (Male Strip Club with Canadianity names: Lloyd Throbertson, Peter Mainscape, Knowlton Ass, & Sex Murphy; Jonathan’s Kave name: “Flagrant Grease”)

Jeremy references Seinfeld’s Merv Griffin episode

Toronto Blue Jays discussion – “Kevin Pillar is not staying in his lane”; “someone please explain the Encarnacion bird”

Andrew asks about a potential “Best of” episode?; Jonathan shares his difficulties with the recording; debit cards going “banana” in the wash – “forever canoed”

Jeremy shares about Chris Farley documentary; “Why’s David Spade a dick?”; Tom Arnold’s Chris Farley poop at wedding story (as told to Mike Smith)

Discussion on the plight of communication, talking on phones, voice-mails, etc.

Alien-sized Salt n Vinegar chips

Bahds’ Top 6 “House Party” jams
– 8 PM: “Book Club” by The Arkells (Chitchat with Tim Oxford while song is playing. “Did you wheel any birds at River Fest?”)
– 9 PM: “One Week” by Barenaked Ladies (“How many Frosty Soliders have you pounded into your word-hole?”; “…riding the snake”)
– 10 PM: “Downtown Came Uptown” by David Wilcox (“Just sliding into the Denver Hayes…”; “Where’s my Cabello’s vest?”; “looking in mirror, putting on the Brut”)
– 11 PM: “Out for a Rip” by B Rich (“Covers the whole idea of being Canadian”)
– 12 AM: “Closer to the Heart” by Rush (Cab ride between bars)
– 1 AM: “——-” by —-

Lady upstairs thinks there’s AA meeting happening downstairs

Birthday Bahds: Jeremy (April 7) – John Oates, Billy Holliday ; Jonathan (October 2) – Sting, Kelly Rippa, & Ghandi; Andrew (August 26) – Mother Teresa & Macaulay Culkin; Tim Oxford (January 18) – Kevin Costner

Jonathan recollects 4am mornings at the rink, always bought Ketchup chips

Discusses heritage (Hungarian & Holland); Swiss chocolates

The bahds favourite Canadian shows & bands

“You’re full of chips!”

Discussed music programs in schools. Jonathan’s teacher Mr. Hiscock. “Brasshole”. Jeremy’s teacher in grade 9: “Nice job, Faggot Face!” School-related challenges

Canadianity & Comedy Tour dates released (driving show to show in Toyota Yaris or “the Ford Fax Machine”)

TnT merchandise now available online (t-shirts, hoodies, stickers, “other bahd-like and bahd friendly items”)

Jonathan’s Canada Post notice story: (“You have to lower your mailbox to 42 inches.”; 10 days is not much time to rectify it – “it’s my birthday”)

Jonathan was “out for a rip” with his padded shorts (“my little secret, wearing lingerie, no one knows”); ipod shuffle DJ; St. Elmo’s Man in Motion song; bypassers wave and ask if he’s J-Roc as “No More I Love Yous” by Annie Lennox blasts out of earbuds; Jeremy teases Jonathan’s music taste.

Torrens family Honeycrisp apple picking (“getting ready for my birthday…” – Jonathan’s October 2nd; Jeremy’s April 7th)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Sweater Weather” jams
– “Rock Me Gently” by Andy Kim (Kevin’s wife (Jono) & Kevin (Jere); finds croquette set, wakes Kevin up from nap who was up late watching wrestling, feeling sad about Roddy Piper dying. “I’ll play a 1-woman game of croquette by myself with the leaves.”) Jonathan recollects Andy Kim’s coffee cup story
– Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill ((Jono) & Melinda from Glasglow (Jere); Honey crisps shaped like Mike Duffy’s head) Jonathan: “Melinda wants to get it goin!”
– “Tom Sawyer” by Rush (Wyatt (Jere) & Region (Jono); 2 guys in the basement; “I think we should go out somewhere. Let’s go where girls go… Let’s get a Pumpkin Spice Latte… That’s what girls do! Let’s get some tattoos, grow some beards…” “that fucking Modest Mouse, that beard music!”) Non-best-friending.
– #gottagetmyjuliuson “________” by ______ (Yarbin (Jere) & Cal (Jono); working at mall, Cal shares about pac-man orange stand; “Maybe it’s here to battle Scurvy?”) –> Jeremy’s “RIP Neil Hope” You Tube find
– “Black Cars” by Gino Vanelli (Joe Vanelli (Jere) & Gino (Jono); “Hey Ma! I got a girl in here! Maybe YOU should get your own apartment!”; BRIO beer, New York Fries) Jonathan cackle laugh.

Poem Sayin’ Game – The Tragically Hip edition
– Jonathan – Salvador does “Wheat Kings”
– Jeremy – Joe Vanelli does “Courage”
– Jonathan – Gordon Lightfoot does “Locked in the Trunk of a Car”; sings it – (Jeremy laughing nonstop)
– Jeremy – Teenaged girl does “At the Hundredth Meridian” (mentions that James Duthie can rap this entire song, used to be in a band, play drums) Jonathan changes it midway–> Jeremy does 2nd verse as elderly woman gossiping with her husband not paying attention
– Jonathan – Mr. Magic does “50 Mission Cap” (“What didyast do with Bill Barilko, girlst?”)
– Jeremy – Alan Frew does “Music At Work” (Alan Frew’s stroke! “He got Frew it!”)

Headlines or Head Lies Game (Head Lice discussion: “Rippin your noggin every chance they get…”)
– “Winnipeg woman convicted of punching security guard while dancing at John Fogerty”
– “Portable toilet moved across festival site with woman still inside”
– “Supreme court won’t hear case of Quebec man who loves to feed squirrels”
– “Man, 30, surprised at McDonald’s prices”
– “Administrator not surprised by fire at heritage building in Parksville”

Maritimes Conversations: “Well, you know…”; the suck-back ya; sh’….;

Canadian Election Day (Harper vs Not-Harper; “just not ready” boomerang)

Toronto Blue Jays discussion

Taggart Family Halloween costumes (Jack – zombie hotdog; Jon – Pizza; Anneliese – Bumble Bee; Value Village bought rights to Thriller and is “going off”)

Jonathan shares buying 2 small Orange Julius for $10; “orange juice from concentrate and sugar water”; “my tiny roommates pounded one between the two of them and they went OFF” — “like melting a creamsicle, but not all the way”

Jeremy’s Burton Cummings story – barging into Tim Oxford’s recording studio 5-6x by mistake, before inviting them over for Mr. Greek’s catering.

Food courts discussion. “Saturday night, the food court was bumpin!”; “People are down with Pad Thai”. Healthy Choice chicken breast (microwaved for 2 min). Jonathan refuses to use passport for breakfast or lunch (“Nap City USA or something doesn’t agree”). “The Fried Whatnot”; “Teriyaki Town”

Jeremy mistakenly suggests that Jonathan drives a van – “Loser Cruiser”; Jonathan’s fancy party with “Firefly” valet service; Jeremy shares costume party at Kate Hudson’s place

Jonathan’s food deals with himself (eats 2 cookies tonight; work it off for tomorrow)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Spook-tacular” jams @ strip club, Popular Girl, in Sherbrooke, Quebec
– “After Midnight” by Eric Clapton: ASSPER the Friendly Ghost
– “Closer Together” by The Box: Slutty Mother Teresa – Helen (Student @ Laval)
– “Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett: Sarah the Firefighter with drink specials
– “Helene” by Roch Voisine: (Jonathan – “this name came to me in a dream, and I woke up laughing”). Marie Josie Billadeau, uses her real name (works at Subway)
– “Thriller” by Michael Jackson: O-Sonya Bin Laden (“loonies & toonies”). Jonathan – “I so badly want to go to that place… It is really funny to me.”

Breaking News: Canadianity Contest Week 1 (for Beer with a Bahd): Submit Most Canadian Costume #canadianitycontest

Peter Mainsbridge & Knowlton Nash image (Taggart found it; Mainsbridge blessed it)

Salvador shirt wearing guy at Fredrock Festival after party –had no idea who Salvador was

Upcoming Torrens family trip to Boise, Idaho to pick up RV and drive home

School discussion. Jonathan’s a “social sniper”; Jeremy’s “non-stop defending myself” fighting, Shawn from Alliston = real tough guy; Jonathan uses Facebook to track people down “member?”; childhood bullying affecting their children: Jonathan wants to shove a toddler, realizes he’s a “helicopter dad”

One more addition for the Top 5
– “Love Is” by Alannah Myles: Julie Slutty Kitty (“Me-ow”; with a dart)

Tour Prep Discussion (How to break up the driving? What games to play?)

Jonathan suggests “Two-Faced Canadianity” game

Halloween debrief: Jeremy was Super-Dead Zombie, Lisa was pirate; Candy Karma (Jeremy’s toothache post-candy); cloth candy bag with “halloween whatnot”, garbage bag vs pillow case

Torrens family crashed at Walmart (“pourin syrup over poo”)

Canadianity Costume Contest. Top 3 winners:
– 3rd place: Wheels’ Dad – @pyramidferments – Beer Koozie
– 2nd place: Alligator Al Waxman – @jerrymercer – TnT Bahd Shirt, & tickets
– 1st place: Kevin Vickers’ Sgt. @ Arms – @francoisdillinger – Beers with bahds, shirt, & tickets
– #Canadianity, #twofaced to enter next contest

Hit the Post Game
– Jonathan: 99.1 The Magpie in Fernie, BC: “Grace, Too” by The Tragically Hip [“That’s a sneaky sneaker!”]
– Jeremy: 99.3 The Wave in Plaster Rock, NB: “Night Shift” by The Commodores
– Jonathan: 105.5 The Mastadon in Lacombe, AB: “Black Betty” by Ram Jam
– Jeremy: 103.7 The Ptarmigan in Yellowknife, NWT: “What Have I Done to Deserve This?” by Pet Shop Boys [“These guys liked each other…”]
– Jonathan: 89.9 The Turbot in Corner Brook, NL: “Lunatic Fringe” by Red Rider [Jonathan uses thick Newfie accent, on location @ Leon’s]
– Jeremy: 89.3 The MA in Sherbrooke, QC: “Wild Horses” by Gino Vanelli [Jonathan does Popular Girl announcements]
– Jonathan: 102.5 The Raccoon in Barrie, ON: “Enter Sandman” by Metallica [young female DJ – 1st day on the job]
– Jeremy: 107.1 The Heart in Heart’s Desire, NL: “Strokin” by Clarence Carter [Jonathan shares resort story – 1-866-WOW-DEAL]
– Jonathan: 92.3 The Fur Seal in Flin Flon, MB: “I’m an Adult Now” by The Pursuit of Happiness [“I’m sucking harder than a Dyson.”]
– Jeremy: 92.5 Le Phaque in Quebec City, QC: “Dark Horse” by Amanda Marshall [DJ is put out due to snow storm]–> “Birmingham” by Amanda Marshall (Jare Bear & Colleen Morning Show duo on 106.5 The Light in Summerside, PEI) –> “Let it Rain” by Amanda Marshall (“let’s introduce some tension between them!”, “I don’t drink coffee” — “Maybe you should, there, wrinkles!” — “Have another bag of chips with your skirted egg.”)

Discuss Canadian drum solos & best live “woos” (“I want to be a wooer on a live recording.”)

TnT Mailbag: (taggartandtorrens@gmail.com)
– Josh DeSavino: Shared a story about sticking up for new employee with mental illness in factory being teased
– Brenden: Canadian living Caerphilly, Wales loving the Pod, east-coast call-in
– (Jonathan gets the warm fuzzies)

Reminder to submit #twofaced submissions for #canadianitycontest

Jonathan wants to play “Front Page Challenge” with Steven Page on tour, shares his admiration for artists that he makes fun of (ie: Cory Hart)

Two-Faced Canadianity Contest #2 Entries:
– First Responders: Celine Dion Phaneuf; Connor McDavid Suzuki, Russell Martin Shorts, Marty McSortley, Michael Jay Onrait, Jan ArDan O’Toole; Thing & A Face: KD Lang; Last Minute Ones: Alan Steven Page
– “Suffice to say, we ALL won with the genious-ness of the submissions.”
– Chris Neil Peart, Steve Knowlton Nash, PJ Fresh Phil Espositio, Michael Cera McLachlan, Robbie Robertston Davies, Tommy Douglas Gilmour
– Honourable Mentions: Jann ArDan O’Toole, Lanny McDonald Sutherland, Russell Martin Short
– Top 3: KD Lang (#3) – Jimmy Blaze, Steve Knowlton Nash (#2) – Jason Reyes, Wok With Mansbridge (#1) – Michael Fredricks
– Taggart & Torrens, George St. Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Russell Peters Mansbridge, Michael J. Phoque, Anne Murray McLauchlan

Canadianity Contest #3: Take a picture of yourself in that captures “Regina” #Reginianity

“Hold your birds, Bahds, we’re coming right back to ya!”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Mixed Tape” jams
– [Jonathan’s kids listen to Chipmunks’ versions of pop songs like “Party Rock”]
– “Eye in the Sky” by Alan Parsons Project (Holly (Jono) & Helder (Jere) trying to impress Holly; “Behind the times, much? I’ve had this song on my walkman for like 3 weeks!… Uncomfortable, much?” “Maybe the next song I’ll pick is “I’m an Idiot!” eh, Holly?”, “Misinformed, much?” “Guess who just got an A in the clean grasp of the obvious class?… It’s national Go Away Month…”)
– Jonathan – “Holly & Helder is NOT going to happen.”
– [Jonathan doesn’t understand phone plan terminology; discuss frustration with automatic U2 album download; Jonathan sings as Cory Hart]
– “I Want to Know What Love Is” by Foreigner (Kelpy (Jono) & Rick (Jere); dudes lifting weights in basement; Rick references girls at Orange Julius, Manchu Wok, M-M-M-MUFFINS, kiosk outside Le Chateau. “The go away look and the come here look are the same – it’s just how you perceive it, bahd!”, “You gotta build up a Teflon soul so nothing sticks, bahd!”)
– “I’m Gonna Miss You” by Milli Vanilli (Marie-Josie Billadeau (Jono) & Howard (Jere); “he overshot the landing on the social runway”; Marie-Josie speaks Franglais and is unimpressed with Howard’s advances)
– [Lenny Kravitz doesn’t bathe]
– “Beds are Burning” by Midnight Oil (Andrea (Jono) & Australian Peter (Jere); “Can you see I like ya? Give us a hug!”, “I will never be in your bed, whether its burning or otherwise!”, “You like TV?”, “Umm no, I like personal space!”)
– “If This Is It” by Huey Lewis & The News (Vanessa (Jono) & Eric Robata – her volleyball coach (Jere); “Vanessa, let’s just talk about your bumps. Your bumps are perfect.”; he starts wearing eyeliner to be like “guy from Green Day”, snorts rails) Jonathan – “Mr. Robata is in a bad way. He’s completely offside. Wow! Mr. Robata made me really uncomfortable. Jeremy – “Mr. Robata’s got Jian on speed-dial.” –> How is Jian spending his time these days?

Jason Reeves doing a “victory lap” for Steve Knowlton Nash

Jare Bear & Colleen: 106.5 the Light morning show. “Are you gonna be giving away some “Whatevs Salad”?” “Oh that’s mature, Jare Bear!” Play hit the post with “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns n Roses. “Good morning! You should think about wearing some make-up!”

Promoting the “Reginianity” Contest

Discuss Tour Highlights: Saskatoon guy with “What didstya do with the eggs, girlst?” t-shirt; Requests for Malcolm on the bus; Salvador & BriAshley; Gord; Jare Bear & Colleen

4-banger Christmas tree holder.“It’s astonishing.. She’ll drink like 4L a day.” “Realies or Fakies” ; Jonathan gets mad like his dad.

More Tour Highlights: Tucson–> Dodge Caravan Town & Country; B-Rich (Minivan aficionado), Theo Fleury, Dave Lumley, Bill Welychka (“Smies”- smiles with his eyes)

eremy’s Top 5 “Wrapping Presents” jams
– “Ruldolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” by Corey Hart (Mindy (Jono) & Thomas (Jere); “Don’t you like how he says Rein-Dap?”; “Why does he have to sound like he’s important? He sounds Hangry! He’s always yelling. I don’t like how he’s yelling!”; “Gimme you! Take your shirt off! Let’s Touch Time!”; “Pump the brakes, Borat! Perv-City USA! Handsy McGee.”)
– “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” by Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan (Chatum (Jono) & Markum (Jere); gift wrappers at the Bay in late 90s; selling cassettes out of truck bed; “She has a real earthy quality, bahd! I bet you dollars to doughnuts she smells like patchouli.”)
– “Song for a Winter’s Night” by Gordon Lightfoot (Ben (Jono) & Lorna (Jere); empty nesting middle-aged couple; “Gordon Lightfoot cupped my wife’s bottock and it was sort of a badge of pride.”; “Why’d you get me a bread maker?”; “Back into me and let’s do a standing rocking spoon.”) Jono: “Lorna’s a bit of a hot lookin’ tuna!”
– “Christmas Must Be Tonight” by The Band (Skyla (Jono) & Paulie (Jere) in Flushing, NY: “Aunts get underpants.”; squabbling siblings, “Let me tell you something, right quick… Kenny G’s too busy drowning with girls.”)
– “Christmas Eve” by Gino Vannelli (Salvador (Jono) & BriAshley (Jere); “I have travelled great distances to see your face… Love knows no temperatures!”; “This is like a sex toy! Disgusting! I can’t handle this. This is despicable – a dildo with a foot on it! Take this away, I don’t want it!”; “Is your sister home for the holidays?”)

Uber vs Taxi folks mixing it up downtown

Weird Holiday Experiences/Family Traditions:
– Carter Wixter: Canadian Politics arguments; Amy Templeman: Wife-saver for breakfast; Myles Smith: Christmas morning french toast; Jonathan: Night-before Spaghetti; John Aroji: Mimosas & egg dish; Rikki Fryatt: ethnic dinners – “screw the turkey”; Ben Nived: Watch Muppet VHS recording; Scott Graham: “Merry Christmas-tree”; Wilson Spenst: Christmas road hockey game; listening to TnT; Joe Madison: Watch Best of Chris Farley SNL Special; Jessie Ferguson: birthday beer at Denny’s; Falcon Wrath: bucket of ice cream; Leah: go to the beach; Steven: Air Grievances Festivus style; Bawk-Off: get drunk; Jessica Penny: Excessive laughter @ end of Christmas Story; Jeremy: watching Elf with his kids; Spencer: open all but one gift on Christmas Eve; Joe Balleneski: Ukranian Christmas; James Duthie: Aspic (jelloed tomato soup and cottage cheese; “I feel the bile mounting in the back of my throat even reading it” – both joke in Scottish accent)

Steven Stamkos trade talks; rebuilding Maple Leafs team

2nd Annual Holiday Hum-Off
– (Guy found perfect gift for fickle Aunt Lorraine) – I Want to Wish You a Merry Christmas (Jonathan talks in East Coast accent- “popcorn is better than chippies”)
– Jonathan: “My new nickname should the Garborator… Pounding everything”
– (Reg: Trying to Home Hardware before it closes to buy Skill Saw) – Jingle Bell Rock
– (Marko: Doing all shopping on Christmas Eve, stuck in line @ Orange Julius) – Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree — [Jonathan hates the Second Cup; “Sagrit Cruller”]
– (Stanley: Making a bird house for your son but it’s not turning out) – Silent Night
– (Darnell: Trying to muster courage to give gift to Melanie) – I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus [red light vs green light touches]
– (Noreen: can’t sleep on Christmas Eve; husband Kendall is sleeping) – O Christmas Tree [“Snore much, Ken Doll?”]

Jonathan: likes to yell “hey” in Jingle Bells with anger and tries to stop the room

Christmas Films: The Man in the Santa Claus Suit (John Byner, Fred Astaire, Gary Burghoff)–> Nardwuar had a stroke

Jonathan & his family are in Florida, shares difficulty with Januarys, tells about the Welsh guy with the “salad of accents” – the boomerang racist comments

Jonathan’s dog Henry barks up a storm (“small enough to fit into the Sobey’s bag”; bahd-breed; “he’s as cute as he is dim…”)

“irregardless” and “supposably”

Netflix craze: Making a Murderer discussion (“it’s a binge-r”; “a lot of mid-west accent”)

Montreal Expos baseball announcer walk up jams [Jonathan cackle laugh – “it doesn’t get you fired up, AT ALL!”] Jonathan’s mic begins echoing – “baseball announcer function”; [Jonathan cackle laugh with echo]

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Turn the Page” jams
– “Running Back to Saskatoon” by The Guess Who (Forest (Jono) & Lawson (Jere) – 30 something bahds)
– [Jeremy leaves to go pick up his kids from school; talks about caring for the kids with Lisa out of town; late bedtimes]
– “Kodachrome” by Paul Simon (Candace (Jono) & Frank (Jere); pair getting back together after holiday breakup, but list-making in the process) “Frank and Candace are not going to make it!”
– “When I Paint My Masterpiece” by The Band (Keith (Jono) & Charmaine (Jere): East-coast folks; “It’s like I’m lookin’ like an angel in jeans from Mark’s!” “with those big look-balls”) Jonathan – “They’re gonna get it goin!”
– “Forever Young” by Alphaville (Shaun (Jono) & Roberta (Jere) Albertan teachers expressing interest in each other; Shaun mentions eating aspic; “Februaries”; “Maybe we can go to the drive-in Bingo and make some poor choices”)
– “Turn Me Loose” by Loverboy (Prospector Jasper (Jono) & UBC internship student Tannan (Jere) in Whitehorse; shacks/sex in Alaska; “Who would be crazy enough to have sex with that Jewel?”)

Jonathan sings “Tears in Heaven”; Jeremy – “saddest song in history of mankind”

God Bless Mr. Magic – concerned that he might come to the east coast shows

Encourages bahds to weigh in with t-shirt merch suggestions; requests “must stops”

Jonathan: “Peanut Brutal”

Jonathan’s generator story with Cummins dealership; gets “Bruced”; “He put the over-time sneak on me!”; kind of another dangling so/right on situation; “now he’s all Mister up in my baba ganoush”

Jeremy: “Hanging out by the fire is like smoking 10 darts”; “The Tank Top & Barrel” – suggested bar name or song name (Jonathan’s stage name would be Mason Jars)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Wish I Weren’t Here” jams
– “’Til the Fever Breaks” by The Jitters (Tannis (Jono) & Harold (Jere) sick of the cold weather; “I’m wearing 2 pairs of pajama jeans!”; “It’s like March of the Penguins in our apartment…My arms don’t move cause they’re frozen!”; “I’m sick and tired of goin to bed with a jacket on.”) Jeremy: “Like tannis racket?” Jono: “Alex with the pull-out system…”
– “Harry Houdini” by Kon Kan (Merriam (Jono) & Caroline (Jere); want to meet and marry Jamaicans; “Our curves are something to be celebrated, as it should be!”)
– [Jono: “Bad News Bears!”; Maudite 8% alcohol beers – requests from Corey Hart; the label has guys canoeing from heaven]
– “_________” by ___________ (Jean-Luc (Jono) & Henry (Jere)) Jere: “He’s got 2 kids, too, and he’s only 17” Jono: “What a sin!”… “He’s selectively French.”
– “I’m Scared” by Burton Cummings (Dustin @ La Senza (Jono) & Gary @ Lush (Jere); “1-866-WOW-DEAL”; “Fe-BRA-airy”, “We need a part-timer for Thong Thursdays.”)
– “Hold Me Now” by One to One (Martin with silent t (Jono) & Joe (Jere); “It’s like groundhog day for my bird”)

Sting & Phil Collins going on tour together?

Discussion on David Bowie, Glen Fry, and others who have passed on

Jeremy has slumber party @ Torrens’ home; “Go on the Slairs” as a punishment (Jeremy cackle laughs); “he yard-saled it at the bottom” ; “you need a foot stick to stick the landing”; “We put 5 coats of industrial anti-slip on it…”

Jian Ghomeshi trial & domestic violence discussion (Henry barks in the background)

Jonathan’s 7 year anniversary

Simple Plan Sound-check (“How can bands with accents sing perfect English? What if Mr. Magic was a surgeon?); Jonathan sings with french accent: “I can hear too much drum in my ear-piece… Too much bass in the side-fill…I’m getting some slapback – can you turn it down a little bit?” (“Per-fick”) –> LSL: Lyrics as Second Language –> “member?” –> Old McDonald in french: Neep Neep, Ouaf Ouaf (Jeremy snickers)

Luther Vandross sings “Entertainment Tonight” song; “It’s a bad enough song as it is, but acapella is the worst.” Luther Vandross’ bus driver story = “Luther fucked himself gay”

Alan Doyle’der = Jeremy trips and rolls on sidewalk (Alan Doyle as a verb for falling)

Dion Phanuef is traded to the Senators. “Peanut Brutal!”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Valentine’s Day” jams
– “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill (Teri-Ann (Jono) & Dan (Jere) – “I’m leaving you for a tight end!”; orange dish racks; “There’s more to life than bread sticks!”) Jonathan: “Do I or don’t I have the cd – Dan Hill’s greatest hits?”
– “That’s What Friends Are For” by Dionne Warwick (Tracy (Jono) & Martine (Jere); working at a deaf institute; “let me suck your tongue?” )
– “Make Me Lose Control” by Eric Carmen (Rick (Jono) & Collin (Jere): lonely dudes making fun of Valentine’s Day; Melissa who works at Mmmmuffins)
– “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler (Karen (Jono) & Melinda (Jere); 40 year old relationship; both cackle laugh after complimenting each other’s deficiencies. “Your spare tire, your smelly feet, your inadvertant gaseousness…” “The ass-splattering shits you always have…” “I don’t care if you smell like carrot soup that’s been in the fridge for a week, you’re mine!” “Let’s play Scrabble… 16 word score for W-H-O-R-E.”)
– “Forever Young” by Alphaville (Salvador (Jono) & Bri-Ashley (Jere); He’s working in managerial role at Orange Julius; “Let me explain to your face! Why won’t you look me in the face? Why can’t we share a butterfly laughters?”) Jeremy: “The lead singer looks like Jaromir Jagr”

Jonathan’s hotel room-mate. Wet towels, Baha Fresh trash, Quicksilver baseball hat, (both cackle laugh), Skirted-Egg hair.

Hotel Intimacy Kit Game (Jeremy guesses contents; “Oh barf”; condoms, lube, “may or may not be a cock ring in there?”, “latex gloves?”, “sanitary wipes?”. “settle your stomach, tablet?”; BREATH MINTS! “Does anyone have a CERT?” “That was a great time, thanks! (crunching them up)” —> “CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH”

Discussion about Dave Matthews. “people wearing patchouli and long skirts, dancing in a field, it’s that”; “a lot of hacky-sack playing and those 3 sticks hitting together…”; “a lot Nicaraguan hoodies”

Jeremy recalls a week in Vegas, because Scott Stapp cancelled shows

Discussion on bands that are formulated, copy-cats of grunge, the butt of pop culture jokes, Mutt Lange’s songs are formulated lists (ie: “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?” and “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain)–> “When you make a salad, do you use lettuce, do you use green peppers, do you maybe put in some cabbage, do you throw in carrots? We just wrote a Mutt Lange song.”

Can-00s Game
– “Funkmobile” by Bass is Base (for Jeremy 1-0)
– “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter (for Jonathan 1-1) –> related to Susan Powter from Stop the Insanity fame? (She looked like Dolph Lundgren)
– “Nobody’s Supposed Here” by Deborah Cox (for Jeremy 2-1) –> “I think she’s doing the Lord’s work”
– “Hate My Life” by Theory of a Deadman (for Jonathan 1-2) –> “Who the clam is that? Did Mutt Lange write this?” (Reference to “I Hate My Life” Poem sayin) (Jonathan tells story of older gentleman working in Starbucks who dated Canadian girl in London, ON – who died)
– “Ooh, It’s Kinda Crazy” by Soul Decision (for Jeremy 2-1)–> Jonathan sings “Faded”
– “Up” by Shania Twain –> (for Jonathan 2-2) Reference to Great Big Sea’s “Up” and twitter followers who “Alan Doyle’d her”
(Sting plays NBA All-Star Game — “Desert Rose”; Evander Kane conversation)
– “American Psycho” by Treble Charger (for Jeremy 3-2)
“Corn dope” — Cheap Weed conversation
– “Fat Lip” by Sum 41 (for Jonathan 3-3) – “sweet little kids then 2 years later they were getting right into things – crazy party animal, nutcases”
[Jeremy reflects on hardest partiers: Nazareth, The Trews… The Trailer Park Boys; Discussion of Las Vegas; Jeremy’s gambling; hotel architecture; laundry, etc]
– “I Miss You Like Crazy” by The Moffatts (for Jeremy 3-3) –> Jonathan wants to see footage of Moffatts playing then cutting to Jeremy’s face while listening; Discuss Nelly Furtado’s “Oh Canada” rendition; Burton Cummings’ rendition with beatbox
– “Gotta Be Somebody” by Nickelback (for Jonathan 4-3) –> mock Vancouver accents; laugh at west-coast destinations Tofino, Ucluelet, Coquitlam

Jonathan wants to meet guy who pitched “This is how we do it” for Hyundai and guy who approved it.

Jonathan’s update on the “Skirted-egg Pete Rose hair” mafk; shakespearean wig hair, but just around the back; $28 Intimacy Kit; Jeremy: “It’s been a great pleasure of my life… Crunch Crunch Crunch, Get the hell outta here!”

Jonathan tells Trailer Park Boys story from season 9, wearing a wig with McFlurry on bus; Mike Smith (Bubbles) challenges J-Roc to do longest “Haaaaaaaahn” ever

Canadianity Counts: ViewTube Game
– Celebrity Cooking with Bruno Gerussi (17,000 views) [random story with Bruno Gerussi and glass of pee?; discuss best prank stories]
– Al Waxman in King of Kensington (guess: 26,000views ; 56,729 views)
– CBC video hits with Samantha Taylor (guess: 5,600 views–>Jonathan cackle laughs; actual: 52,678 views; guess: 30 dislikes –>Jonathan cackle laugh; actual: 1 dislike)
– Chris Shepherd interview (guess: 3,200 views; actual: 25,500 views, 3 dislikes) [Jonathan’s story about presenting with Chris Shepherd at the Junos; impersonates him by reading Love Inc. tour dates; Both impersonate Alan Frew]
– Irish Rovers intro (guess: 46,000; actual: 46k views – “First thought, Best thought!”; Guess: 212 likes, 4 dislikes; Actual: 66 likes, 1 dislike. “Game should be called dis-likesia?” Jonathan continues talking like Chris Shepherd)
– Night-Heat full theme song (guess: 20k views; 6 dislikes; actual: 27k views)
– Around the World in 80 Days (guess: 14k views, 12 dislikes; actual: 8,200 views, 3 dislikes)
– Seeing Things song (guess: 8k views, 4 dislikes, 12 likes; actual: 2,400 views, 9 likes)
– Canadian Tenors & David Foster doing “Hallelujah” (“David Foster’s having a tinkle, spreading some magical fairy dust”; guess: 300k views, 15 dislikes; actual: 92k views, 5 dislikes)
– Mr. Dress-Up 1995 Christmas episode (guess: 80,000 views, 4 dislikes; actual: 54,000 views, 9 dislikes; “What kind of MONSTER dislikes Mr. Dress-Up & Christmas? Bastards!”)
– SCTV skit “Half-Wits” (guess: 32,000 views; actual: 332,700 views, 1,100 likes, 31 dislikes)

“Bad news bears” regarding winter storm in Toronto; “Don’t go havin’ a jammer, bahd!”

Randy Bachman’s “Taking Care of Christmas”—> Guess Who wormhole–> Burton Cummings’ video diary on Facebook (“Little Eva” clip = both cackle laugh; “come on baby, do the locomotion!” = continued cackle laugh)

Discuss bowling (“Balling”)

Ronnie story of walking 1 hour home after mom/sister get kissed at concert; 6-hour walk after car broke down

Jonathan’s dad left groceries behind, if store didn’t have boxes available

Oscars Debrief (Chris Rock host, black lives matter, Leonardo DiCaprio, Stacey Dash)

“Hart Attack” Game
– Corey Hart; Corey Hart (“Typical me… I recorded the whole album and I hadn’t written a first single yet”); Phil Hartman; Phil Hartman (“Frozen Caveman Lawyer” same SCTV clip!); Bret Hart; Bret Hart (refers to “The Montreal Screwjob”)
– [Jonathan referred to research on Andre the Giant; poop in the tub; “Checking the oil” of his opponents – thumb into the bum – “It’s the size of a corn on the cob!” “It’s like a giant pickle” – “Not shower for days on end and sit on their heads!” “That’s not what you sign up for… that’s not what you want.”
– Mary Hart; Phil Hartman (voice of Troy McClure); Phil Collins (“What does that have to do with Hart?” “Nothing!”); “She has Hearrrrt, matey!” Beatrice Martin “coeur de pirate”

1987 CBC Degrassi Junior High commercial when Wheels’ dad comes back; Oh Henry commercial with electric violin; “Don’t Put It In Your Mouth” kids PSA; Liberal Free Trade” debate commercial

Jonathan predicts Trump winning presidency. “It’s not cute anymore… it’s gonna happen!” Jeremy- “I can’t think of a more shit-hitting-the-fan situation than him becoming president of the States… It’s nuts, cause I’m not crazy about her, either.” Jonathan- “The United States of America?! He’s a buffoon! It’s scary to even think about, bahd!”

Jeremy breaks down Wheels’ Dad episode. “Awkward City!” “Wheels’ dad is about the greasiest… He’s terrible!” Actor: Dave James –> davejamesdrummer.com “We have to get”

Jonathan provides update on the generator; “I got Bruced by Brucey in Orlando”; Good Bruce-ness reclaims Jonathan’s hope in humanity. Discuss March Break plans.

Discuss “Letterkenny” – why its good, its Canadian identity, etc. “This union is something I’m really jazzed about.”; Discuss “Billions,” “Better Call Saul,” “The People vs. OJ” –> “Black motorist Rodney King.” –> Yikers Island!

62 Jams: “Green Onions” by Booker T & M.G.s; “The Locomotion” by Grand Funk Railroad (Jonthan sings as Burton Cummings with keyboard);

Jeremy talks about music playing at his girls’ school. The “Get the hell in the school” jam; “Hey Baby” by Bruce Channel; Lord of the Dance instrumental (Riverdance slow motion running)

Jonathan plays 90s keyboard jams
– “One of Us” by Joan Osborne (normal–> Gordon Lightfoot); “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLachlan
– [Barrel fight in Burton vs Bachman? “come at him low, like neck under the barrel… once you’re in sit-town, you’re good”]
– “Stay (I Missed You)” by Lisa Loeb; [Jeremy chuckles/coughs]; “Eternal Flame” by The Bangles; “Lady in Red” by Chris de Burgh

Debrief the switch over to Sunday night Newstalk1010 show

Agin’ the Can-Age-Ian game
– Chris Hadfield (Jeremy guesses 52; actual 56)
– Ralph Benmergui (Jonathan guesses 53; actual 60. “Are you kidding my face right now?! God willing, we should all be so lucky!”)
– Anne Murray (Jeremy guesses 76; actual 70)
– Mike Holmes (Jonathan guesses 51; actual 52). “Boy does he ever fill out a pair of coveralls, am I right?”
– Kim Cattrall (Jeremy guesses 58; actual 59)
– Ron MacLean (Jonathan guesses 54; actual 55)
– Martin Short (Jeremy guesses 62; actual 65) – Martin Short “Whatevs salad” to Jonathan in the elevator
– Monty Hall (Jonathan guesses 83; actual 94)
– Who’s Older? Gord Downie vs Keanu Reeves?
– Gene Becker (Jonathan guesses 57; actual 63)
– Celine Dion (Jeremy guesses 47; actual 47)

Jonathan – “Son of a Gun… Fuddle Duddle”

YouTube musician clips (Burton & Gord Clips)

Discuss Louie Del Grande & Jonathan finding Seeing Things tv show “Bible” at CBC office

Jeremy’s family going to Medieval Times for “jousting and turkey legs?”; “1st course is whatev salad”; “It’s the blood vs crips in medieval times”; “Whatst did you do with the turkey legs, girlst?”

Jonathan’s girlst are fired up for the “Bangor Sneak”; partying in the RV; “nice Bruce will fix the generator”

Trudeau or False Game
– Random trivia about the Trudeau couple: Sophie as correspondent for E-talk; Justin acted in 2007 mini-series “The Great War”; Justin is Forbes’ 69th most powerful person in the world; Sophie worked as personal shopper for Holt Renfrew; Justin loves watching “The Property Brothers”; Justin’s birthday is Christmas Day; Sophie lists badminton in her favourite past-times.
Jeremy discusses Rubiks Cubes badminton; “Participaction” badges; Jeremy gets beat up in gym class; “Shirts & Skins” basketball – “that hurts like a mafk!”

“Gutter Balls” to describe things that don’t work out- cackle laughter

Jonathan pitches “Cumm-Bach” tour; “Bach to School” reality tv show; “Slashing Prices”; “Axl’s Garage”; “Thicke or Thin” –> “Thicke to It?”; “Hugh’s Cock”; “Movin’ on Yop”;

Hit the Post Game
– Jeremy: 92.5 The Hawk in Port Hawksbury: “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx [“Full Marx” a show where Richard goes back to school; Jonathan cackle laughs – “it’s a creeper!… Deceptively long!”]
– Jonathan: 93.7 The Squirrel in Medicine Hat: “Hold the Line” by Toto [“You banged it right on the head!”]
– Jeremy: 97.3 The Tick in Port Hope: “Wouldn’t it Be Good” by Nick Kershaw
– Jonathan: 99.5 The Praying Mantis in Sault Ste. Marie: “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears
– Jeremy: 103.5 The Narwhal in Rankin Inlet: “Things Can Only Get Better” by Howard Jones [“That was SICK!”; 4,000 views?!]
– Jonathan: 95.5 The Cat in Bracebridge: “Eye in the Sky” by Alan Parsons Project [mentions Zubaz work out pants playing Atari]
– “Rise Up” by Parachute Club (Jonathan jumps on-board)– “I don’t think I’m lying, I think I brought back the first Rubiks Cube to Canada – like on the Mayflower”

Jonathan sings random 70s one-hit wonders

Jeremy’s Top 5 “March Break” jams
– “Clap For The Wolfman” by The Guess Who (teachers Manfred (Jere) & Lory (Jono); “Collin’s hard on the head, but she’s a hot lookin’ tuna.”; “Seeing your kids during March break must be awk-is-the-word.”)
– “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison (G2 kids – Stevie (Jere) & Darcy (Jono); “Slide me some skin! Let’s go pound some demilunes and take some shots”)
– “Land Down Under” by Men At Work (Mom (Jono) & Suzette/Rhonda (Jere); “I hate this music with the crazy-eyes guy!”; “Digger-do me a favour!”; “Do a quick bump” at the top of the hill with Oliver and do some Molly…)
– “Roller” by April Wine (Janitors Curtis (Jono) & Joe (Jere); “Contraband Check!” Find a tupperware of Molly & take it! “I wouldn’t kick her outta bed for eating Arrowroots”)
– [Discuss the posted picture of people doing it on the front step at The Dirty Dome in Halifax – “He had a bone-air after the dome closed”]
– “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant (Orange Julius on a Friday – Morty (Jono) & Curt (Jere); “It’s March Madness, I can’t even get my thoughts together.” “Okay, Orange Julius Caesar, think you can rule me? Boss me around? You know what?

[Indigo: “Where’d you go, bitch? Get back here, bitch?” at restaurant; her doll “bitch”]

Steve Anthony breaks hip climbing onto monster truck, live on tv; grape stomping woman writhing in pain (“I’ve never heard pain sounds like that before…” “It sounds like she was stabbed!!”)

’64 Jams: “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by Beatles; “Dancing in the Street” by Martha & The Vandellas; “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison; “Doo Wah Diddy Diddy” by Manfred Mann;

Jonathan discusses Marc Maron podcast interview with James Taylor

Jono debriefs his trip through Nashville: saw Gordon Lightfoot at the Ryman; “he’s a 77 year old man in a velvet jacket who uses throat spray”; “hot-lookin’ tuna” is his “new little wifey”; People embracing hockey; running out of gas in New Brunswick; Bangor Sneak; Bruce in Orlando wasn’t able to help with generator, but Bruce & Tommy in Nashville were awesome; Hershey chocolate factory in New Jersey

Discussion about Rob Ford’s death

Road Trippin’ Game
[2 options to road trip with, choose 1 & why]
– Jonathan: (Celine Dion or Drake) “Drake. I would use it as research for J-Roc… I’d like to ask his intentions with Rhianna.” (Impersonating Celine & French-Canadians, with clicking noises)
– Jeremy: (Collin James or Margaret Atwood) “Collin James rolls big time… He’s a bit high maintenance… I can see her as being moody as shit. I’ll go with Atwood.”
– Jonathan: (Keanu Reeves or William Shatner) “Reeves… I’ve met the Shat and he was kind of a, you know, who you might expect… he was pretty curt.” “I heard that [Keanu] got married…. to a guy!”
– Jeremy: (Avril Lavigne or Mike Holmes) “Mike Holmes, 100%.” Grizzly House in Banff used to be a swingers club. “He’s a good guy to have on your roster.” Sleeveless T.
– Jonathan: (Matthew Perry or Chad Kroger) “I’m gonna go Perry…”
– Jeremy: (Jann Arden or the guy from Amazing Race Canada) “I’m gonna go with Amazing Race Guy… cruising through life. Jann might have hilarious moments but she may have some down moments…”
– Jonathan: (Seth Rogan or Jim Carrey) “I’m gonna go Rogan… [Carrey’s] an odd cat. Rogan would be more accessible.” “Rogan would be hot-boxing your car all the time?”
– Jeremy: (Bachman or Cummings) “I’m gonna take Burton… I’d get tired of Randy’s bullshit after an hour…. give him a tiny Casio”
– Jonathan: (Tom Green or Tommy Chong) “Tom Green. I’m goin’ Green.” (He started reality tv and Jackass style shows)
– Jeremy: (Gino Reda or Gord Miller) “Gino Reda. He’s a beauty… [he’s] a Canadianity staple.”
– Jeremy: (Jay or Dan) “either/or! They’re both very similar, which is great!” “Jay’s tall enough, Toolsie could sit on his lap. Take ’em both!”
– Jonathan: (Neil Young or Dan Aykroyd) “Neil Young” “Want another timbit?” (Sings like Neil Young)
– Jeremy: (Gord or Bernie) “I’d take Bernie. More sociable”
– Jonathan: (Donald Sutherland or Ryan Reynolds) “I’d take the Reynolds route”
– Jeremy: (Don Cherry or Lloyd Robertson) “Don Cherry”

Phoning In Sick Game
– Jonathan’s girls have “extend-the-march-break-itis” — too sick to go to school but doing back-flips and dance routines
– Jeremy: Orville calling in sick to Staples, boss is Ashley. “That’s so greasy. Covered all the bases… That was EXPERT!”
– Jonathan: Daryl calling in sick to Urban Outfitters, boss is Donald.
– Jeremy: Kylie calling in sick to the Irving, boss is Todd, it’s Canada Day.
– Jonathan: Satchel calling in sick to Mark’s Work Warehouse, boss is Gary. (the schedule wasn’t too clear!)
– Jeremy: Becky calling in sick to Le Chateau, boss is Charles.

Jeremy shares story from 27th birthday at the Juno’s, trying to pull off a man’s wig; compares situation to Peanut Butter Solution movie from the 80s

Jeremy shares several stories from the Junos, including OLP doing the “switcheroo”; “it worked for Elvis Costello, but not for us…” “Whatevs Salad!”

Jonathan refers to Annie Lennox; Jeremy alludes to Jono’s bike-riding story, listening to “No More I Love Yous” on his headsphones

Trailer Park Boys season 10 discussion; J-Roc as Salvador, adopts different personalities,; classic Ricky phrases: “Tronald Dump, 2 turnips in heat, a toe to so.”

Sklar Brothers Podcast guest appearance synopsis

Jeremy shares about playing in charity game (Juno Cup) with Lanny McDonald, Tiger Williams (pulling my hair, “grabbing it and ripping it”)

Burton for Certain Game [Burton’s life-achievement on the Junos; “That’s hurtin”]
– [Burton Cummings quote or not? – references to Neil Young, Gino Vanelli looks like a pirate!… “He’s a hurtin’ unit”; Jono sings Dan Hill; Jono loves Ben Mulroney for taking people down in 140 characters on twitter, “fightin the trolls”, “reduce, reuse, recycle – he destroys them, and I love it”]

Jeremy’s seeing David Gilmour at ACC; went to Strombo’s house to see the Cult play & tackled the plugged toilet which was “condemned from early on”; “I have to empty my back!” Jonathan shares about Mike Smith hosting Guns N Roses after party.

Jeremy guesses the Deluxe Intimacy Kit (Temptation “Platinum Edition”) contents: 5 items “not concerned with the clean up”
– Jeremy’s guesses: condoms, lube, cock ring?, french tickler?, edible underwear?, moisturizer?, pocket rocket vibrator?
– No “crunch, crunch, crunch” mints
– Condoms, Lube, Couple’s Vibrating Ring, tickler, vibrator
– Jonathan investigates newindulgence.com: The Luxury Collection

Andrew sent in live audio of the Toronto Blue Jays game (both cackle laugh); Jonathan does the Franglais baseball announcer over top of Jeremy’s English commentary

Take Me Out To the Ball Name Game
– Jeremy reads names, Jonathan guesses if it’s a real player or not (baseball)
– Bryn Smith, Barry Bonnell, Mitch Webster, Mickey Clutts, Larry Beltmore, Angel Salazar, Jim Acker

Jonathan sings “Locomotion” on keyboard; debrief Burton on the Juno’s

Golf or Gaff Game (Par or Bogey)
– Jeremy reads names, Jonathan guesses if it’s a real player or not (golf)
– Mo Norman, George Knudson, Garry Googodame, Pat Fletcher, Dan Halldorson, George Lyon

The Olympic site isn’t ready to go @ Rio. “Peanut Brutal!”

Jonathan as Gord Sings the 90s part 2 (Jeremy names the artist)
– “Every Morning” by Sugar Ray
– “No Rain” by Blind Melon (Jeremy laughs over “it’s not sane”; both cackle laugh)
– “True Colours” by Cyndi Lauper/covered in 90s by Phil Collins (“it’s really bad!”)
– “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton
– “Linger” by Cranberries
– “Luka” by Suzanne Vega
– “Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe
– “More than Words” by Extreme
Farewell to Rexall Place game; Jeremy shares how many times he’s played there & shares story about the punch indentation in the metal door

Jonathan sings “Happy Birthday” to Jeremy as Gord; Gord shows up Bernie’s office to wish a birthday, “It’s somebody’s birthday, we’re going to hang out all day!” Makes a pan of Nanaimo Bars squares, Jonathan: “I love that we’ve made him out to be a problem”; “This is the one day a year where you get to tell me what to do!”

Discuss celebrating birthdays. (loot bags; Jonathan wants a cheeseburger; same plastic mold seats; “How do kids know they love McDonalds? It’s like it’s ingrained in their DNA”; orange drink; Jonathan pokes a smiley face in burgers)

Discuss 1st jobs. Jeremy washed dishes at Reggie’s, helped cousin Elliott sell fake shirts on the street corner. Jonathan works at Halifax Lobster Feast; minimum wage $2.05.

First Car: Jeremy didn’t drive until late – Honda CRV; Jonathan 1986 burnt orange Jeep Cherokee “Rowdy Bushwhacker”

Jonathan as Steven Page Sings the Pop Songs (Jeremy names the artist)
– “Drops of Jupiter” by Train
– “Thank You” by Dido (“Hit it Eminem!”)
– “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera
– “Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child [singing lounge styles, with white suit, grand piano, “Guy with the house in Costa Rica” pants rolled up]
– “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65
– Jeremy and Jonathan sing bits of “How Bizzare”; “Losing My Religion”; “Jumper” “Stacey’s Mom”; “Hanging By a Moment”; “Hollaback Girl”; “If You Could Only See”; “Crazy in Love”
– Gord sings “Oops, I did it Again”; “Bernie, Bye Bye Bye”
– Jeremy shares stories about Third Eye Blind
Steven Page sings “Happy Birthday”

British Puppets with big teeth – celebrating stereotypes, you see!

Microphonies Game (Jonathan gives names of cover bands, Jeremy guesses)
– R.E.M. cover band: Are We Them? (Jeremy shares story of trying to be in R.E.M. cover band as a kid, is told on the phone “tell him I’m in the shower… tell him I’m on tour in Alberta…”; Jono wants to see a sheep Michael Stipe on Sesame Street singing Losing My Religion)
– Runs in Your Hoses: Jeremy shares about Guns n Roses tribute band
– ABBA Cover act: Still Bjorn
– Female AC/DC cover act: AC/DShe
– Counting Cows cover act: Counting Cornrows (both cackle laugh – “I’m so proud of it!” “The big pineapple head” “The original Weeknd with that hair”)
– Non Jovi, Earth, Wind, For Hire, Fleetwood Mock, Poison Cover act: Posin’, Oasis cover act: Oasisn’t, Near-vana
– Mandonna (they YouTube Mandonna’s version of “Like a Prayer”; the whole group looks like Madonna from different eras)
– Nickelback cover act: Poor Man Stealin’
– Counting Cornrows: “alien sized rock songs/sets” on the business cards with “Wheels’ dad as our agent”

Jonathan sings “A Long December” with vibrato, as well as a Beatles Medley

Jeremy plays 1967 Jams [YouTube Playlist]
– “I Can See For Miles” by The Who; “Respect” by Aretha Franklin; “(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher” by Jackie Wilson (Jono: “You couldn’t punch the smile off my face when this song’s on!”); “Penny Lane” by The Beatles (“It’s hardly civilized, I should say!”), “Ruby Tuesday” by The Rolling Stones; “Stop Children, What’s That Sound” by Buffalo Springfield; “Light My Fire” by The Doors; “A Whiter Shade of Pale” by Procol Harum; “I’m a Believer” by The Monkees (“Were they the first boy band?!”); “Never My Love” by The Association

Jonathan does Expos Baseball Announcer guy. Ray Face is Jonathan’s new favourite. Jeremy brings up Gary Googodame

Discuss Jordan Spieth’s loss, showing his age (22); sing “This is How We Do It” again; Jeremy talks about the walk-through at Augusta before the Masters

Can-Teen Game
– Clips of famous Canadians as teens: Wayne Gretzky, The Edison Twins, Alanis Morissette (Jeremy shares how he was kicked off stage), Neil Hope (“didn’t know we were doing the downer edition of Can-Teen!”), Jim Carrey, Ocean Hellman, Pamela Anderson, Jerry O’Connell, (Jonathan feels bad for Seann William Scott), Eugenie Bouchard, “me on streetcents, bahd”; (Jeremy references Dan O’Toole on CKDJ)

Jonathan wants to give away merch (“want to?”)

Jeremy plays 1968 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Sittin’ On the Dock of the Bay” by Otis Redding (Jere’s fave song of all time); “These Eyes” by The Guess Who (Jono references Maestro cover; Burton wearing Burton t-shirt; discuss self-promotion and record deals)
– “Black Day in July” by Gordon Lightfoot (discuss Lightfoot’s influence on other songwriters, songs affected by world affairs like the “mafk in Korea” who is friends with Dennis Rodman, Lionel Richie in Middle East); “Born to Be Wild” by Steppenwolf (Jere refers to selling knock-off shirts & Ecuadorian hoodies in downtown Toronto & story of being mugged; Jono buys a bed with $1000.00 bill)
– “Revolution” by The Beatles; “Hey Jude” by The Beatles (Jono shares story of UPI Music Camp @8, peer pressure from other kids to re-play the song so they could “get their perve on”… “I had no dog in the hunt”; Jere highlights his lookalike kid in “Hey Jude” video @4:40 next to Ringo = both cackle laugh “it’s so weird, so uncanny! Wow! Are you sure it’s not you?! Oh my gosh, look at this kid!”; Jono impersonates a British accent)
– “The Unicorn Song” by The Irish Rovers (Jono sings along; Puff the Magic Dragon); “Jumpin Jack Flash” by The Rolling Stones; “Dance to the Music” by Sly & The Family Stone (“Sly Stone blew himself up by doing the freebasing… a continued mess for decades”; “they’re picked, preserved somehow!”)

Canadianity Canadian Cover Band Contest – #tntcoverband
– Honourable Mentions: Millie Vannelli (Geno Vannelli), Mr. Mister Magic, Newfie & the Blowfish, Flurry (Snow Coverband), Shania Twin, Covergirl (Loverboy), Rash (Rush tribute mixed with STDs), Trapper (Trooper parody at Popular Girl), Mocksy Fruvous/Tom Mochrane/Mocksley Workman/Kim Mochshall/Mockfetts, Newba, Bush-ish, Billy Semi-Talent, She’ll Pass Jordan, I Mother Girth (“a real dog’s breakfast”), Deaf From Above, Blackie & The Rodeo Clones, Sample Plan, Honeymood Maudite, The Guess Why, Eh-C/DC, Faux Fighters, Platinum Con, Arcade Friars, Gordon Slightfoot, Nearly Neil, Practically Blonde, Matthew Just-as-Good Band, Cornrow Hart
– Winner: Jason Rees for Practically Blonde & Cornrow Hart; Runners up: Arcade Frairs, I Mother Girth, & Mr. Mister Magic

Jono checks into Toronto hotel, eats Heather Modlin’s fruit plate. Jere asks whether or not he checks the tangerine’s oil.

– Frew or False Game [Jono reads facts, Jere determines whether it’s Alan Frew or not]
– Toured with Fleetwood Mac; Has a brown belt in Judo (Jono laughs, Jere: “I could see him throwin a guy over his shoulder… you had low confidence & blew yourself up!”); Co-wrote “I Believe” the CTV theme for Olympics; Was born in Scotland (both cackle laugh; impersonate Scottish accents); **Note that 43:20 – 44:09 is blanked out due to Copyright issues**; Is an avid bird watcher; Is named after Alan Alda –> transitions into Bernie & Gord interchange “Who wants some Butterfly Laughter?”

“Do you ever google yourself?”; discuss back-up drum kits on tour; Jono eyes up Jim Cuddy’s guitars, gets eyed up from tech.

Jono shares decision to leave Trailer Park Boys after 10th season; highlights the show’s origination and how it developed; discuss the importance of Netflix;

Jeremy plays 1969 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Laughing” by The Guess Who (Jono suggests “On the Darts” as a game; Duffy & The Darts is a great band name)
– “Baby, I Love You” by Andy Kim (Jono recollects the Andy Kim mug story)
– “Time of the Season” by The Zombies
– “I Heard it Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye (refer to California Raisins; “those little mafks could dance!”; both cackle laugh; “they were the Geico cavemen of the 80s!”)
– “Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Revival
– “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond (Jere admits to singing this banged up at Kareokee; Jono admits to being “ba-ba-baer”)
– “Everyday People” by Sly & The Family Stone

Discuss Prince’s death. (Diverse skill sets, philanthropy, comedy, belongings left behind, hypotheses towards cause of death, gender equality– “Go Fig Newton”)

Jono accidentally throws keys into the trash @ Toronto airport; gets “bruced” by taxi driver

Canadian Tire Flyer – Lower or Higher Game
– Jono gives product description and made up price; Jere has to guess lower or higher
– Products: Pressure Washer (“Hey Ma!!” Gino & Joe Vannelli impersonation); Hedge Trimmer; Ratchet extender set; Whippersnipper (mowing lawn “with bald spots”; Jono talks about “taking an uzi to a kitten fight”); Yardworks Hatchet; 50ft hose
– Jonathan talks about Scott’s Turf Builder commercial audition. “You feel like a chump… You wanna scrape your tongue!”
– Products: Scott’s Turf Builder Green Max; “you’re on fire, flyer!”; 190L Rain Barrel; 20t Log Splitter (“could you get a leg in there?”)

“It’s Been One Week” since Jono announced his departure from TPB; Jere checks in – discuss online trolls (Corey Bowles is a traffic cop); Jono’s choice to decline any other interviews

Gord plays/sings more cover jams for Bernie: “MmmmBop” by Hanson; “If You Leave Me Now” by Chicago; “Cold Hearted” by Paula Abdul; “Perfect” by Simple Plan

Discussion on the Fort MacMurray fire

On The Darts Game
– Jason Priestley; Neve Campbell; Katy Perry; Keifer Sutherland; Roz Weston; Rod Black; Fergie Olver; Jackson Davies; Robert Clothier; Bruno Gerussi; Al Waxman; Graham Greene; Pierre Burton; Peter Gzowski “Live by the darts, die by the darts, like Bowie”; Jeff Hutcheson; Jim Perry; Chad Kroegar; Celine Dion; Renee (cigar & darts); Gino Vannelli; Corey Hart; Sass Jordan; Alannah Myles; Natalie Richard; Erica Ehm; Steve Anthony; Peter Mainsbridge; Lloyd Robertson; Jonathan’s grandma “like a vitamin, every night to shutter down”; John Candy (heavy darts); Wayne -darts & Shuster – no; Eugene Levy; Avril Lavigne; Derek Webley; The Weeknd; Justin Bieber
– Jono wants to know what the official name of “sleeveless shirts”? “muscle shirts?” “Sleeveless tee?” “Wheels’ Dad tee?”

Bouvi-Yay or Bouvi-Nay Game [real or fake quotes from Simple Plan]
– Jono reads lyrics as Salvador; Jeremy laughs: “So frustrate!”
– “I just feel so sad sometime”; both laugh; “One day, I won’t take this anymore!” (Jono: “It’s a deep well of emotions!”); “Do you ever feel like breaking down?”; both cackle laugh; (Jere: “Somebody give this guy a hug!”); “I feel like I’m living the worst day, over and over again”; “Sometimes, my heart ‘urts”; “It seem like every day, I make mistake, I just can’t get it right”; “Why do you ‘urt me?”; “I’m worried about our future” (Jono: “It’s my favourite game in the world!”)

Discussion about the field trip to the landfill; Jeremy’s trash stealer

Alan Frew is “coming Frew town” in Halifax for 30,000 PC Points; Frew’s 80s covers album (80290); both impersonate/sing like him; Burton is coming to New Glasglow, Nova Scotia “It’s almost worth making a pilgrimage”

Referencing made up Summer Camp names

Reflect on the success of “On the Darts” game; Jono sings as Corey Hart

Jono shares his thoughts towards George W. Bush, after seeing him in Vegas

Jeremy plays 1971 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Sweet City Woman” by Stampeders
– “Every Picture Tells a Story” by Rod Stewart (Jono misses variety shows; checks in about Orlando Bloom & Selena Gomez pounding)
– “Riders on the Storm” by The Doors (“ski” softens everything: “deathski”)
– “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver (“he’s sneaky good”)
– “If You Could Read My Mind” by Gordon Lightfoot (“automatic waterworks”; “this is the song that thrust me into a wormhole… it still punches you right in the feelings”; Chad Kroeger hat tip to Lightfoot; Darius Rucker hat tip to Bob Dylan & sings vibrato; mention greasy commercial for “Live, Confidential, & Discrete”)
– “You’ve Got a Friend” by James Taylor

Fort McMurray update; Jono shares movement to collect/donate Air Miles to support those affected by fires; significant support from twitter bahds to support

Jono sings “Drops of Jupiter” by Train (as Steven Page, then Alan Frew) – laugh at lyrics
– Alan Frew as a Camp Counsellor yelling at the kids “wear the hat, Jacob!”
– Sings “To Be With You” by Mr. Big (as Alan Frew, then Gordon Lightfoot who dedicates the song to Bernie)
– Sings “Girl, I’m Gonna Miss You” by Milli Vanilli; “Raspberry Beret” by Prince (as Gord)
<br?
On the Darts game
– Michael J. Fox; Jim Carrey; Seth Rogan; Alex Trebek; Martin Short; Howie Mandel; Michael Buble; Carly Rae Jepson; “the guy who played Ed”, Pamela Anderson; Margaret Atwood (“I want to believe she’s on the midnight darts”); Rex Murphy; Adam McGowan; The Property Brothers (“the fun one’s on the darts”); “next week, let’s play Planet of the Vapes”; Bon Jovi; Harry Connick Jr.; President Obama (nicotine gum); Martin Luther King; Selena Gomez; Steve Tyler; Michael Douglas; Angelina Jolie; Brad Pitt; Leonardo DiCaprio; Oprah; Gail (Oprah’s BFF); Rhianna; Justin Timberlake; Jessica Biel

Discuss the Canadian Census

Jono sings “Someday” by Nickelback and “Baby/Bernie” by Justin Bieber (as Gord)

Jono sings Christmas carols as Bruce Cockburn

“Moxy Alan Frewvus” –> Both impersonate Alan Frew

Jeremy plays 1972 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Heart of Gold” by Neil Young (Jono sings along as Neil)
– “The Candy Man” by Sammy Davis Jr.
– “Hold Your Head Up” by Argent (Jono sings as Dan Hill “I’d rather stick shards of glass in my eye”)
– “I’ll Take You There” by The Staple Singers (discuss Sesame Street jams)
– “Freddie’s Dead” by Curtis Mayfield (Ben Bishop leaving the game on stretcher: “big spider-legged mafk, long-ass bitch”; Snoop Dogg’s YouTube diss rants & narrates a snake vs squirrel fight; Jeremy laughs uncontrollably; Snoop’s rants on Chip Kelly & Oscars)
– “Layla” by Eric Clapton
– “Summer Side of Life” by Gordon Lightfoot (Jono sings along as Gord)

Discuss “Tears Are Not Enough” compilation vs USA for Africa – “We Are the World” vs “Do They Know It’s Christmas” Band-Aid
– On the Darts – “Tears Are Not Enough” edition: Gordon Lightfoot; Burton Cummings; Anne Murray; Joni Mitchell (“Turbo Darts”); Dan Hill; Neil Young; Bryan Adams; Mike Reno; Liberty Silver; Ronnie Hawkins; Véronique Béliveau; Robert Charlebois; Claude Dubois; Carole Pope; Paul Hyde; Corey Hart; Bruce Cockburn; Geddy Lee; Paul Anka; Leona Boyd; Don Gerrard; Lorraine Segato; Salome Bey; David Foster; Bob Rock; Jim Vallance; Paul Shaffer; Frank Mills -> “Music Box Dancer”
– On the Darts – “Do They Know It’s Christmas” edition: Bob Geldof; Sting; Paul Young; Boy George; Phil Collins; George Michael; Simon Le Bon; Bono; Bananarama

Enigma’s “Return to Innocence” guy goes to fancy restaurant/will call at theatre, always yelling out; (both laugh non-stop & impersonate the yodel); Enigma guy within conversation & at ball field

Bubes & Biebs Game [Michael Buble or Justin Bieber Quotes]
– Jeremy describes Biebs as a “Mimbo”
– Discuss Bieber refusing to take pictures with the people; Ringo refusing to return fan-mail or sign autograph “tongue went numb from licking all the stamps”

On the Darts – Band edition: All the Beatles; every Rolling Stone; Aerosmith; Metallica; Motley Crue; Van Halen

– Jeremy shares 80s Joey Kramer story of smoking dart at a gas station and diving to safety as car blows up (both cackle laugh for nearly 2 min) Jono – “I have the post-laugh forehead sweats”

Jeremy’s Top 3 “Why Are You Playing That Song” jams
– Teenland” by The Northern Pikes (Teresa (Jono) & Rico (Jere) – Meet up for Survivor Finale after meeting in Chat Room)
– “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle (Darcy (Jono) & Baylene (Jere); “silence bro-dude, let’s just enjoy the silence”; Baylene plays intro on repeat like Taggart family neighbour causing Ronnie to rage)
– “If I Had a Rocket Launcher” by Bruce Cockburn (Candace from East Coast (Jono) & Beatrice (Jere); “Would you frig off with your lashes…You’re so gorgeous you could wear a Sobey’s bag and make it look like a fashion dress from Le Chateau or somewheres”; “Can you friggen put on something to put me in a good mood? This makes me want to shoot myself in the face!” “If I had a rocket launcher, I’d shoot myself in the mouth and put myself out of this misery!”) Jonathan clarifies that east coasters talk like Bingo Callers or Fiddle reels.

Jonathan shares about J-Roc’s cover of “Ahead of the Century” –> “2108: Bounce Wimme Now”; how Gord expressed gratitude for using their song in a different way

Jeremy plays 1973 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Oh My Lady” by Stampeders (“Jon Snow lookin’ mafk”; Jono loves the word “mafk” –> becoming a term of endearment, for objects. Jono received “drop that mafk stuff” message- “SHOTS FIRED!”; “He circled the wagons back!”, Jono sidesteps the comment completely. Jere laughs after hearing it read aloud)
– “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks (Jono – “I’d like to ride a horse to this song”; song always used for memorial montages)
– [Jono pitches concept for Andrea & Them sitcom after he and Carol talk nonstop like East Coast girl from ep. 72. “Andrea, where are you livin’ these days?” “Up in the 6, workin’ at Purolators.” Brainstorm the background for the show: roommate found “on Kijijis”, she’s a “big boned gal”, always struggles with what to wear, considering driving an Uber/giving folks Halloween candy, Lulu Lemon yoga pans; Jono wants to play Andrea, Jere would play roommate, Laramie “like the Dodge truck”]
– “Painted Ladies” by Ian Thomas (“Laramie, where are my Nerds?!”)
– “Danny’s Song” by Anne Murray (she’s confirmed “on the darts”; twitter handle @onthedarts)
– “Dream On” by Aerosmith (references back to Joey Kramer diving story)
– “Stir It Up” by Bob Marley
– “Jessica” by The Allman Brothers Band

Hobo or Nobo game [Jono reads plots, Jere confirms whether its real or not]
– (Jono shares about folks who litter in public. “The Crush, Burp, n Chuck”. “A shirtless, tattooed, maybe on crack Barney from the Simpsons”)
– Jere is shocked at the ridiculous nature of the plots

Jeremy plays 1974 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “The Streak” by Ray Stevens
– “Takin’ Care of Business” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
– “Star Baby” by The Guess Who
– “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot (Jono suggests that Andrea’s Manager should be David Bronstein aka “The Prince of Love”)
– “People Gotta Move” by Gino Vannelli (“Hey Ma!!”)
– “Free Man in Paris” by Joni Mitchell (This song is about David Geffan, her manager)

Andrea goes to Popular Girl and takes off clamdigger pants after losing a bet; Laramie has no “sexual tendencies” towards Andrea & refuses a puppy since it’s too “relationshippy”; Weekend darts “bumsies, called it!”; Jonathan’s convinced it’s a show

#Andreanthem contest: Send picture of Andrea & Laramie: Winner gets BAHD hoodie

Jono sings “Two Princes” & “Smooth” as Gord. “Santana is at the top of my I don’t get it list.”

Hootie & the Blowfish rip off Bob Dylan lyrics. Jono sings “I Only Wanna Be with You.” –> “That’s jacking! That’s flagrant lyric jacking!”

Jere references Hootie’s “13 inch hammer”; Jono shares the burden of men who have “big birds”; “Haul it out, Haul it out!”; “By the way, Manatee City, USA, just sayin”

Jono sings “Closing Time” as Gord. Semisonic guy wrote an Adele song.

Jonathan’s kids are learning how to beatbox

Jono pitches ideas for game shows: Date Squares, Newlybed Game, The Jerks at Work, You Be The Judge, Alma Matters–> Skat talk like Michael Buble, listening to Mel Torme

“He was a butt harvester!” – Recrushing them into new darts; Mike Clattenburg suggests “Call Centre Dart” – professionally made 5-minute darts

Name the Game (Jono describes game shows, Jere guesses)
– Front Page Challenge, Definition, Just Like Mom, Test Pattern, Bumper Stumpers “yes guy!”, Talk About, Deal or No Deal Canada, All New Liars Club, Canadian Idol, Video Arcade Top 10 [honourable mentions: Pitfall, Kids Street, Card Sharks, Jackpot; Test Pattern gifted 2-slice toaster, Definition gifted box of bic pens, Match Game gifted $470.]

Jono Talks About: Yo-Yos; Jere Talks About: Gardens

Jono shares about unidentified creature in his back yard, shares stories about killing gophers and conservative folks in Texas “are you a snowboarder?”

Jonathan’s post-office is on the darts; Dart Mouth, Nicotine Lips, Orange Hands. “Nick O’Teen” commercial

Shout-outs to Mike MacFarlane for doing website; Rikki for doing episode overviews; Wes for sending Jonathan an Oilers’ replica championship ring

Jono’s Kijiji Scuffle: Mackie (1990 Sentra driving, Fruitella wrapper guy) visits and criticizes the RV. “He was a dick with intent! Douching me out on my own property!” (Jeremy plays “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison). “He looked like the neighbour on Home Improvement mafk”, “Captain Kangaroo hair?”, “Mackie Bruce’d me out…”

Discuss the popularity of Andrea n Them. (Big-boned gal, Car Lashes for Cavalier).

Jeremy raises similarity between “Tangled up in Blue” by Bob Dylan and “Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie & the Blowfish. Bob Dylan = Jeremy’s all-time favourite

Jeremy plays 1975 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Rainy Day People” by Gordon Lightfoot (Jono wishes for John Mayer back-up singer show; references brutal “Africa” rendition by Toto)
– “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin (Jono raves about Chapin’s “Mr. Tanner” jam)
– “Oowatanite” by April Wine (Jere shares pranks played by drummers; talks about his practice regimen “Practik”; Ticketmaster “hub-bub” around Hip tickets)
– [Andrea n Them: go to the monster trucks. Rebel Wilson or Melissa McCarthy would be perfect as Andrea. Laramie plays in “The Circle Jerks”]
– [Jono discusses Nickelback’s “Rock Star” voice-over guy. Family Feud: “What do Nickelback fans absolutely have?” —> Barbed wire tattoos, motorcycle boots, Ed Hardy/Tap-out/Affliction shirts, frosted tips, leather cuffs. WHO IS THE GUY? “I’ll have the quesadilla, ha ha”]
– [Discuss the Andrea n Them poster contest & determine winners]
– “Crazy Talk” by Chilliwack
– “Fame” by David Bowie

Jonathan plays Poem Sayin’ as Andrea: “Rock Star” by Nickelback. “It’s terrible, this song.”; Salvador does the voice-overs. “That’s a cover that nobody asked for.”

Jeremy plays 90s acne commercial – “People say I eat too many chocolate bars” (Jono: “What a sin?! Why don’t I remember that?”)

Jono plays “Buffalo Stance” by Neneh Cherry (Andrea’s dance-with-me jam)

Jono refers to Lloyd “Andrea’s dad” from Kijiji; “knows his way around an F-bomb unlike anyone I’ve ever met!” References “return of the MAFK” Mackey from last week’s story.

Discuss the coin-rolling sounds from last episode. “Crunch crunch crunch” coin rollers.

Jeremy shares about being on “Hero” video with Chad Kroeger. Jere sings as Chad on the phone, “speaks in rhyming couplets”. (Both laugh). Jono sing-talks to tune of “Rockstar.”

Jono’s earworm: Alan Frew covering “Without Me” by Eminem. (Jono raps, Jere laughs!)

___________ Lookin’ Mafk game (& On the Darts)
– Louis Del Grande – Librarian lookin’ mafk
– David Cronenberg – Ad-agency lookin’ mafk (“speaks in question-ese”); Bordain-lookin’ mafk (“BLM, forsure”) – (“1 a day like a vitamin dart”)
– Dion Phaneuf – Quebec City Carnie lookin’ mafk (operates Gravatron, blasts Kiss; Jono in Franglais accent- “do you wanna go fasters?”; also scouting for Popular Girl)
– Mike Duffy – Humpty Dumpty lookin’ mafk; commissionaire lookin’ mafk; head of FIFA lookin’ mafk
– KD Lang – Workin’ at Joe Fresh lookin’ mafk
– Don Lake – Optometrist lookin’ mafk
– Seth Rogan – Workin’ at Menchie’s lookin’ mafk; “straight weed darts”; Know-it-all movie store lookin’ mafks
– Will Arnett – Slow moving Quick Copy Printing lookin’ mafk; East-Side Mario’s manager lookin’ mafk
– Jim Carrey – “on the darts forsure… heavy darts”; UPS driver lookin’ mafk
– Rex Murphy – working at the front desk nights/weekends at motel lookin’ mafk; Richard Simmons hair lookin’ mafk; “hard darts”; Wilfred Laurier lookin’ mafk
– Drake – Works at Canada’s Wonderland & talks too much lookin’ mafk
– Kim Coates – Jiffy Lube lookin’ mafk; manager at Popular Girl lookin’ mafk
– Jeremy Taggart – Nice guy at the bowling alley lookin’ mafk; research librarian lookin’ mafk
– Jonathan – “I’m an Anne Murray lookin’ mafk”

• Jeremy plays 1976 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot (Gord gets angry over a request for a radio-edit of this song)
– “Stand Tall” by Burton Cummings
– “Welcome Back” by John Sebastian
– “Slow Ride” by Foghat (Jon0 shares story about interviewing the postman as a kid)
– “Lookin out for #1” by Bachman Turner Overdrive (discuss Burton vs Randy rivalry)
– “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy (Jono shares carnie stories)

Andrea reads “Summergirls” lyrics without laughing; Jeremy can’t stand the lyrics “that’s enough, I can’t handle it”

Jono hosted meetings for Domino’s Pizza staff in Las Vegas; shared story of 9-1-1 call from worried Domino’s operator who noted that a regular customer didn’t call in their order.

Discuss hot weather & dart smoking in Vegas

Jono sees Bob McKenzie in airport; “Amazing Race styles” through customs; Jeremy sat next to Peter North on a flight – “king of the load” with brand new white shoes, “don’t fuckin’ touch my hair”; Jono mentions that Bob was wearing “Ernie & Bert striped shirt”

Discuss success of “_______ lookin’ mafk!” game

“What’s He Driving?” game
– James Duthie – Jere: “leasing a nice Audi… he’s pretty smart with the cash”
– Hal Johnson – Jono: “He’s driving a Chev Malibu, 2012, navy blue, had on the gas”
– Bob McKenzie – Jere: “Hops into Ford Explorer. Fresh 2016, Leaseski. Dark blue”
– Steve Anthony – Jono: “He doesn’t own a car. I don’t think he’s a car owning mafk”
– Kim Mitchell – Jere: “…driving brand new Jeep Cherokee. Paid for with cash.” – “I’m gonna throw that in the whatev salad pile.”
– Jason Priestley – Jono: “Hard to narrow it down because he’s an antique car enthusiast. BMW 2002. Porsches from 60s – old mafks. 2014 Mercedes 500 Sedan.”
– Dion Phaneuf – Jere: “Big, brand new Corvette. Orange Corvette.”
– Ron McLean – Jere: “Volvo SUV. Needs some safety?” [Henry barks; Jono’s kids came home, Jono bails hay, went on a date.]

[Discusses Huey Lewis’ huge hammer; turbo liars; “out of control bullshitting”]
– Ben Mulroney – Jono: “Big Infinity SUV”
– Buck Martinez – Jere: “Easily see him rollin’ in a Range Rover”
– Pinball Clemons – Jere: “I’m thinkin luxury, North American SUV. Like a Lincoln”
– Rick Campanelli – Jono: “He suggests a level of practicality. Like an Acura sedan.”
– Walter Gretzky – Jere: “A mini, the bigger one. Great to drive with great sightlines.”
– The Weeknd – Jere: “A Bentley with white rims.”
– Drake – Jono: “Probably a G-wagon. Mercedes wagon.” Jere: “Military lookin’ mafks. Get in the floor boards lookin’ mafks.” Jono: “He’s got a whole salad of cars.”
– Margaret Atwood – Jere: “A Prius”
– Alanis Morissette – Jere: “High-end series. BMW. Tryin’ to show off…”
– Jon Montgomery – Jere: “He’s drivin a diesel Jetta, a swank one. Fresh.”
– Rick Mercer – Jono: “Lives in the city, doesn’t drive much… takes the Ubers. An Audi, something tasteful?” Jere: “Audi– fancy boring”
– Deadmau5 – Jere: “Stupid Lambo with the colours and the prints…fuck that mafk!”
– Carley Rae Jepson – Jere: “Masarati. Forsure.”
– Chad Kroeger – Jere tells story about test driving Ferarri & Lambo, but gets Miata.)

Jono shares he’s afraid of mice “beads of sweat on my forehead, screaming like a 7 year old girl,” because of his mother’s traumatic event. (Tried naming them, giving them accents. They’re “little terrorists”; tells story of mice taking over his truck)

Jere shares about Huey Lewis’ spotted hammer.

What is Richard Crouse driving? – Jere: “VW Bug… 3 wheeled car? An old MG?” Ross Rebagliati in a VW Van? Jeff from Tea Party is driving a hearse with big rims. (Jono’s mom wanted to buy a hearse = Adams’ family lookin’ mafks. Paint it white = immediately Ghostbusters. 2 Chrysler Cordobas. Ronnie drove a Vega… and Volvo GT rally car. Torrens Family also had Dodge Perv-a-matic 600 & Hyundai Pony.)

Commend all of the submitted “______ lookin’ mafk” submissions. #blanklookinmafk #onthedarts is “an afternoon well spent”

Free on Kijijis Game (Jono reads free item & location, Jere guesses whether it’s real; Jono cackle laughs after discussing “small amount of rhubarb”)

Jeremy plays 1978 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Feel so Good” by Chuck Mangion (CBC tsunami warning or technical difficulty song; Jono does “Popular Girl” intro for Sarah McCocklan, Miss Chin Picnic)
– “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill (Jono sings along; “this mafk can sing!”; mock the song as Gord & Bernie; read “incredible intel” from Orillia resident’s e-mail describing the true story behind Lightfoot’s “Sundown”)
– [23 minutes that shook NHL: Hall for Larsen (& Lucic); Subban for Weber
– “You Needed Me” by Anne Murray (Andrea talks to Laramie, who’s looking a new fabrics for stage clothing; Andrea eats Pride bagels, Magnum ice creams;)
– “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty (Jono does Expos announcer)
– “I Love the Nightlife” by Alicia Bridges
– “Reminiscing” by The Little River Band (Jere does Wolfman Jat; takes call from Gord)

Rat Piss Lager: “it’s sharp, but it’s cold!” Made-up TNT sponsor. “Maple Leaf Tears Beer, Beaver Ale… Logger Lager!” “just the guy burlin’ on the label” Jeremy laughs till he coughs

Taggart family going to Peterborough to Cottage. Dan O’Toole & Tim Oxford, too. (GORVING!)–> “You gotta be kidding me = Googattabe”

Logger Lager Lite made-up commercial. Logger Lager Classic.

Lake or Fake game
– Jere: Molson Lake; Jono: Lake Chachi (“It’s a fake lake!”); Jere: Cabonga Reservoir; Jono: Shart Lake (Jere tells stories of “shitskis” in the lake, “That’s SO gross!”, Jere refers to Subway guy farting with infrared camera “envelopes the crowd like a fucking bomb.”); Jere: Peter Pond Lake; Jono: Lac Googalie; Jere: Gary Lake (“Named after Gary Googattabe?”); Jono: Lake Darryl; Jere: Lac Sausage; Jono: Logger’s Lake; Jere: Lake Winnipegosis (“That’s real! t sounds like a lake with a disease”); Jono: Peckerwood Lake (“Where Andrea goes in the summer… It’s as cold as a witch’s tit!… It’s a bird turtler!”); Jono: Pickle Lake, God’s Lake, Lake Phaneuf, Lake P————–, Lake Titicaca

Discuss whether or not shriners fight over who gets to drive the cars (“their backs hurt from driving those little mafks!”

Jeremy shares about Menchie’s, abuses the “testers”; Jonathan hates gummy candies on ice cream, swears by vanilla base “as backdrop, your canvas”

Discuss & develop Gary Lake character (Laramie & Andrea’s landlord, drives Sebring, tanned & “kinda happening”, greasy, salt n pepper, “where’s my hug?”, 2nd world war stories, over-aggressive uncle-type behaviour, “Hey Jere!”, takes Menchie’s candy in pockets, “Gary Lake is maybe the breakout start from Andrea N Them!”)

Jono sings “It’s the End of the World As We Know It” and “We Didn’t Start the Fire” as Alan Frew (He covers “only hyper-fast list songs”); “I wonder if there’s a Scottish setting on the guitar pod”. Alan Frew eats Tim Hortons Breakfast wraps at sound-check.

Jono pitches “MAFK’N” Beer. “Hey mom, can I have another Mafk’n beer?”

Realtor or Faketor game
– [Donald Trump = Gary Lake?; “Have you seen the picture with his daughter on his lap and the parrots having intimate relations in the background?”]
– Susan Jacobucci – ReMax; Cash Sales – Homelife Reality; Kyle & Kendra Kilkenny – Kilkenny’s Kwality Homes; Sherlock Holmes – Century 21; Judy & Greg Ball – Bowes & Cocks Real Estate; Mack Meanoffer – Royal LaPage; Gary Lake – Lake’s Waterfront Homes; Lee Jeans – ReMax; Mort Gage; Su Casa – ERA Real Estate

Jono does Popular Girl announcer for special “SexPos night” (to 1979 jams): Carrie Carter; Andrea Brawson; U-pee; Skin Raines; (Bouncer is Revenge of the Nerds guy); Hairy Bird; “Magic Johnson would’ve been a good name for a male stripper”; “someone was probably BJ Simpson, too”

Jeremy plays 1979 Jams: [YouTube Playlist]
– “Ring My Bell” by Anita Ward
– “Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang
– “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough ” by Michael Jackson
– “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band
– “Pop Muzik” by M (Wolfman Jat introduces song, plays “Hit the Post”; Jere talks about cottaging in Peterborough; Lisa gets kneed in the nose; Jono’s kids go to swimming lessons)
– “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers (“Have you seen Kenny Rogers lately?” “Yeah, he looks like a bust of himself.” “He looks like a half-chewed peppermint!” “He’s got the Remo-drum head tightened face!” “He looks like Nemo!” “It’s like the back of his head is a huge knot of the skin, like a man bun but it’s just the skin!” “He looks like Wilson the volleyball.” “Kenny Rogers roasted his own face”)
– “Rasputin” by Boney M (Jono pretends to be 70s CBC call-in show host. “How windy is it where you’re at?” 1-800-EAS-TCOS)
– Live it Up CBC tv show intro

Gord visits Bernie through the window, discusses PSA announcements; sings “SunBernie”; Gord is on hallucinogens. Brainstorm venues to have Gord & Bernie and Andrea n Them. Paradise Towers? Gorgeous Estates? “A little TnT universe”

Jeremy plays “Babe” by Styx (“It’s a me fest” — “I want 3 more layers of me…”)

Andrea n Them episode. (Jono laughs). “Let me ask you somethin right quick!” Andrew has MachuWok coupons. Andrea gives update on the “bun in the oven” and her status with Salvador. Gary Lake drops by for a visit “Hey Lar!!”; John Mayer-naise. Gary Lake gives eviction notice.

Gord visits Bernie’s office and complains about Bruce Cockburn performing FarmAid. “You have a celebrity name: Co-Bernie.” “If you Relief my mind, Bern…”; Gord threatens to fire Bernie; Gord sings “Every Breath You Take (I’ll Be Watching You)”; Gord reads Bernie’s letters to his wife; “Live is Life” sing-along; “Does Bruce need a roadie?”; “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gord… Will you? Will you, really?”

Andrea N Them episode: “Someone’s home from work and could use a friend hug but i’m not saying it’s me, but I’m not saying it isn’t!”; Andrea suggests renting a 1 bdrm place with a King-sized bed “we can even paint a perv stripe down the middle”; Laramie buys $1,100 Danier leather pants like Jeff Martin; Gary Lake shows up “Hey Larry”, puts Laramie in headlock. “I’d like to see you put me in a headlock. I’d tie your pecker in a bow right

Jeremy talks about the brass turtle that’s “on fire”; refers to the “guy sitting in the ice” because his thermometer is broken.

Jonathan gets frisky with a giant sea turtle; “it wanted to hang!! …it didn’t feel erotic!”; shares dolphin story about getting “his bird” stuck in a guy’s wet-suit shorts, then 8L of dolphin goo “butterfly laughter” stuck in the shorts, in front of tourists. (Both cackle laugh)

Jonathan’s Toronto subway story with tank-top wearing, soft-spoken bearded man; “he got off before me, like the dolphin with that guy”; the guy was in family court, for not having access to baby — “I wasn’t actually going to kill her…” ; “meek, mild little lamb” who casually mentions “2 counts of attempted murder”.

“Dol-Phinished” – “Crunch, Crunch, Crunch guy” of the ocean, “greasy maniac”

Jeremy plays Top 5 1981 “Salesman” Jams:
– “Limelight” by Rush (Jere: Crunch Crunch Radio Shack guy; Jono: Vanessa; “I think if you turned the music down, you wouldn’t have to be so close to my mouth when you’re speaking…”) Jono: “He’s such a plaid-panted perv!”
– “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins (Jere: Hurried female shopper ; Jono: Guy in Van selling vacuums; “suck the dust in the air tonight in your bungaloo… You’re gonna get more days of your lives back… instead of sucking dust bunnies all over your house.” Central Vac in the van, air drumming.)
– [Gino & Joe Vannelli banter– Jono identifies connection to Miss Vannelli’s pizza; “Dick Docked”; “Shorts are like the inside of a smore” “3 bags of milk in his shorts”]
– “Turn Me Loose” by Loverboy (Jere: Encyclopedia Britannica salesman; Jono – woman in home; “If you show me your dorsal fin, I’ll show you my blowhole.” “Gaze right into my look balls!” “Maybe we should close the curtains and you can teach me everything you know.”)
– [Jono shares about Billy & Linda, swingers in the hot-tub at 15; Jere shares about playing video games with baseball card collecting family friend until 3am at 14 in the basement. “Wait a minute! That’s completely off-side!”; Guy leaves phone off the hook, angry Ronnie picks him up; Jono’s soccer coach fabricated tournament just to take 5-6 guys camping and drinking; Jere shares super greasy story of a young kid travelling with his 2 male coaches; Jono shares about the bathrobed judge who did the “knuckle drag across his bird” – “Yikers Island!”]
– “Believe it or Not” by Joey Scarbury (Jere: Gary Lake as Orange Julius Manager; Jono: employee)
– “My Girl” by Chilliwack

Reno or Beano Game

Jonathan gets worked over by Carol, a senior citizen trying to sell a fan for $60–>$70; “She was trying to shark me!”

Jeremy shares about his friend’s brother who knelt down with a fan blowing on his “chocolate spider”

Lisa breaks her foot; gets a “water sock” from Deb on Kijiji for over the boot cast.

Burton plays piano on his knees at the airport; “Burton’s great, just ask him”

Jonathan & Mrs. T see the Arkells live & hang out with Tim

Jeremy plays 1982 Jams:
– “Hard to Say I’m Sorry” by Chicago (Jono’s Peter Cetera joke; Jere – “Am I in a Foster Hole?”; Jono brief hyena laugh;)
– [Jono sings “Wonderwall,” “When I Come Around,” “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” “All the Small Things” as Gordon Lightfoot]
– “Down Under” by Men At Work (16-bar pan flute solo; Jere mentions Bob Marley kicking fake soccer ball dance; both talk in Australian accent & laugh loudly)

Law or Naw Game
– Jere: In Alberta, you cannot paint a wooden ladder. – LAW
– Jono: In Saskatchewan, men cannot take their shirts off in public. (both talk in Australian accents) – NAW
– Jere: In Toronto, you cannot swear in a public park. – LAW
– Jono: In Fredericton, it’s illegal to wear a snake. – LAW
– Jere: In Oshawa, it’s against the law to climb a tree. – LAW (“interfere with a tree… is that their way of saying no tree pounding?” “The tree pounding of 1910?”)
– Jono: To sell edible underwear, you need a food license. – LAW (“There go all your dreams!”)
– Jere: It’s illegal to create, possess, and sell crime comics. – LAW
– Jono: In Quebec, it’s illegal to cut through gas station to avoid red lights. – LAW
– Jere: It’s illegal to demonstrate flatulence in public. – NAW
– Jono: Canada-wide, it’s illegal to scare the queen. – LAW (“It’s illegal to scare her maj”)
– [“Alert Alert!” Jeremy’s kids getting Popsicles]
– Jere: It’s illegal to steal oysters. – LAW
– Jono: In Victoria BC, you can be fined for hugging on the sidewalk. – NAW
– Jere: It’s against the law to use a dogsled on the sidewalk. – LAW
– Jono: In Winnipeg, it’s illegal to eat a Ham sandwich in a government building. – NAW

Jeremy plays more 1982 Jams:
– “Nova Heart” by Spoons
– [Jono shares about meeting Prince Charles & Princess Diana. “At 11, thinking Princess Diana was a hot lookin’ tuna.”]
– “Eyes of a Stranger” by The Payolas (Jono talks like Alan Frew)

Horny Handles Game (ongoing 1982 jams: “Abracadabra” by Steve Miller Band–> “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor)
– Rudolph Piss; Geter Gowan (both laugh); Marriage Therapist Tom Suck; Canadian Athlete Rob Bag; bartender Mike Birdsy; Douggie Styles; Fernando Poo; Errash Datas (Jono sings “Thong Song” as Gord Lightfoot); Hugh Chest; William B. Hardagin; Jonathan’s schoolmate Vaj Rich; Gary Knuckledrag–>Gary Birddragger; Batman Suparman; Adolfo Hitler; Terra Dactyl; Phuc Dat; Mo Lester

Gord visits Bernie at the Bruce Cockburn concert at the Junos

Jono taught daughter to say “What’s crackin’, Hahn?”; “she’s really come aboard it!”

Jeremy plays 1983 Jams:
– “Hot Girls in Love” by Loverboy (Jono talks about seeing Bret Michaels on tv, doing “greasy metal 2-step”; “Bret Michaels isn’t afraid to crunch, crunch, crunch”)
– “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John (“hopped up on the scoops” –> Scoops=Cocaine; Jono hates the phrase “Do you like to party?” –> Party=“any kind of greasy behaviour”; “salt n vinnies is really taking off!”)
– “Come Dancing” by The Kinks (Jono sings along as supergroup, “Canada’s Travelling Wilburys: Gord, Corey Hart, Alan Frew, & Steven Page)
– “We’ve Got Tonight” by Kenny Rogers & Sheena Easton (“Old Mentos face?”)
– “Karma Chameleon” by Culture Club
– “Straight From The Heart” by Bryan Adams (confirmed darts back in the day; pock-marked skin vs “too many chocolate bars” skin)
– “Burning Down the House” by Talking Heads
– “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel (Discuss Mr. Magic & their fear towards him knowing about the podcast; Motley Crue’s new song “Girlst, Girlst, Girlst”)

Shout-outs to Tim from Arkells for new record blowing up; Letterkenny Season 3 just got picked up “that’s Canadianity, hard!”

Jeremy plays more 1983 jams:
– “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie (“Carumbo” definition; provide commentary on the music video; “Karamu” definition)
– “Heart & Soul” by Huey Lewis and the News (“He just burled into the Karamu?”; Jono references Office Space boss lookin’ mafk, mentions doing an episode of American Dad; Jeremy played golf with King of the Hill guy; OLP was on Beavis & Butt-head; Jono talks about struggling with doing voice over work)
– “Flashdance (What a Feeling)” by Irene Cara (Jere: “This song is shitty!”; “It sounds like it was made on a Casio in someone’s basement”)
– “Let’s Dance” by David Bowie (with Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar. Jere’s favourite Bowie jams: Heroes, Fame, Changes)

Bizarre Beastiality Story [YouTube Video]: 46 year old woman lived in house with teenage dolphin, Peter. To save time, she would “manually relieve him” before turning into “full-blown consensual sex” which went on for 6 months, after the funding was pulled. After separated, the dolphin became depressed and committed suicide. The woman, now 97, shares in a BBC documentary “The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins”. YouTube clips “Starts off being kinda cute, but then it’s really upsetting!”

Jeremy refers to 80’s dating video montage [https://youtu.be/0bomkgXeDkE]; provide commentary “legendary Wheels’ Glasses types”; “pervy”; Jono tells story about not judging books by the cover; “Refined but he still likes to get down”; Create dating videos for Gino & Joe Vannelli

Andrea & Them: Laramie wears “Jeff Martin” pants; Andrea has Gino & Joe Vannelli over before they head off to Wonderland and Orange Julius; Laramie enjoys salad; Andrea tries to be suggestive with Laramie

Taggzy & Torrenzy Letterkenny Hockey jerseys (“Hockey nicknames are not often the most creative are they? f someone’s last name was Campbell, Soupy would be as creative as it would get…”)

Jonathan plays more 1984 Jams:
– “Caribbean Queen” by Billy Ocean (“There’s just so much Cocaine in this production! Rick James free-basing between takes.”)
– Songs that weren’t picked: “Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart; “Go for a Soda” by Kim Mitchell; “New Girl Now” by Honeymoon Suite; “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by Bruce Cockburn; “Doesn’t Really Matter” by Platinum Blonde

Gord kiboshes Bruce Cockburn’s concert sound check (adding random effects; “That’s a little flat…”; “Someone’s sharp!”)

Gino & Joe Vanelli play Rio or Brio Game:
– Reviews of Rio Olympics or Brio Soda
– “First time for everything, you gumba”; “There’s actual shit in the water” – both cackle laugh; “It isn’t great, but it isn’t bad, either”; “To be honest, I almost vomited” – both laugh uncontrollably; “There’s so much garbage in it”
– Diver woman kicked out her roommate so she could have sex with the Canoe guy.
– Discussion of 1984 LA Olympics, steroid usage, Carl Lewis, etc.
– Canada used “Rock You” by Helix to prepare for events?
– Discuss Andre DeGrasse, Penny Oleksiak, Simone Biles

Jonathan plays more 1984 jams:
– “Black Stations/White Stations” by Martha + the Muffins
– “Hold Me Now” by Thompson Twins
– “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder
– [Jeremy’s story of necking neighbour girl in the backseat, while Jetson was pretending to drive the car; Jonathan played “Kiss n Chase” in Grade 1]
– “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger
– “Like a Virgin” by Madonna (“What was the name of your necky neighbour?”; “Did she make you feel shiny and new?”; Jono reflects on seeing Madonna for the first time; Discuss Top 5 “Horny” Game Changer videos. #hornyvideos)

Jonathan talks like Corey Hart until Henry starts barking (at a leaf blowing in the bag, a Sobey’s bag, etc)

Taggart kids are at summer camps; pool noodle baseball; Jono was in the pool 6x/yesterday; Sug has a mermaid tail that isn’t allowed in the pool unless she can swim “with the butterfly, like Michael Phelps style”. Both are corrected by their daughters while playing scripted games.

Sport or Nort Game
– Scottsdale Fighting Artichokes – “That is Pathetic!” – Real!
– Lewiston Lovehandles – “That’s not very intimidating!” – Fake!
– Longbeach State Dirtbags – “That sounds fake!” – REAL!
– Shelly Russets – “Named after a potato or an apple?” – Real!
– Macon Whoopee – “No Way!” – Real!
– Chattanooga Central Purple Pounders – “I think it’s fake but I so want it to be real!” – Real!
– Traverse City Beach Bums – Real!
– Nantucket Night Sweats – “Not Real”
– Frankfurt Foreskins – “Fake. Totally unacceptable”
– Teutopolis Wooden Shoes – “Real”
– Adalaide Ass Masters – “Can’t be real”

Jeremy’s kids are “PokemonGo” crazy. “We do a late-night Pokemon rip, go down to the boardwalk, and crush a couple streets.” Anna is “Alert! Alert! I want to do something else”

Jonathan plays more 1985 Jams:
– “Syssudio” by Phil Collins (12 million views on YouTube)
– “Never Surrender“ by Corey Hart (Corey gets added to Canadian Hall of Fame; phone call re-enacted – “No WAY!”) Jeremy cackle laughs.
– [Jason Priestley, Daryl Sittler, & Gene Becker also on Walk of Fame; Jeremy tells stories of Daryl Sittler refusing to pay contractor; Roger Clemons steals golf apparel]
– “We Don’t Need Another Hero” by Tina Turner
– (Ronnie would often mishear lyrics for 1984’s “Private Dancer” by Tina Turner; Jono sings briefly as Gord)

Vannelli or Mrs. Vanelli’s Pizza Game (Joe/Gino read reviews)
– “I was sweaty ’cause it was hot, but the taste was amazing here. What a night!”
– “The guy should smile more!”; “It was really good and helped keep my hangover at bay, which is enough to keep me comin’ back”; “Not too long of a line!”; “I got my gut busted. Blown away, again!”; “Filled with skill and passion”; “It was a good mix!”; “Slightly generic”; “What power and flavour! I can’t get enough of these guys… Always a family favourite.”; (both laugh); “A real gem”; “I think they’ll be in big business for a long-time to come”; “Surprisingly, it was not overdone!”; “Not too expensive!”

Jonathan plays more 1985 Jams:
– “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds (Alan Frew @ Soundcheck; Bento Boxes, Klik canned meat, & cold ravioli)
– “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits (Mark Knopfler is “by all accounts, he’s not a nice character… very difficult… phone thrower”; Jeremy refers to Tom Petty throwing food at the maid, impersonates him “This is bumming me out”; Ben Stiller & Mike Myers = challenging folks to get along with)
– “Party All The Time” by Eddie Murphy & Rick James (Eddie Murphy = squeaky clean)

Jonathan’s mic echos; does Expos Announcements – “What the clam is that?!”; “Tech support from the bahds is the best”; provides updates on the Generator. [Briefly plays “Take on Me” by A-ha]

Andrea & Them: Andrea & new Kijijis roommate Stewart go to amusement park, “holy frig, dreamroommate.org!”; “my stomach feels right friggy!”; bump into Laramie; “get over here you big pecker, give us a hug!”

Taggart kids return to school; Torrens family goes GORVING & goes to carnival to throw teabag beanbag at some dented cans

TNTeacher. Jeremy’s favourite teachers: Mr. Lang & Mrs. Light, worst: Mrs. Clark & Mrs. Hannon (“sausage neck”) – tells about psychologist evaluation. Jonathan shared about the sheep teacher; Mrs. McLeod (slept with student, lent him her car); Mr. Rackum (Gr.7 English teacher); Sister Marie Arsenaux; attended Parent-Teacher conference

Peter Mainsbridge announces plans to step down on Canada Day 150 (his 30th anniversary); “…that voice, it’s soothing and it’s calm, and it’s almost like a security blanket during times of national and international crisis.”

Shad is done as host of Q, will remain on CBC Radio. Tom Power to take over.

Jonathan plays another 1986 Jam:
– “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi (“He did some fine mic stand work.”; Jeremy shares about the bass player being the odd man out; Jonathan talks about friend busting girlfriend cheating “full Jack Bauer… with the trench coat with the collar popped”)

– Jonathan gets hand-written card from Bruce McDonald after playing Burley American Man in film

Lyric or Lie Game
– Jonathan – Jann Arden? (“New Favourite Game Alert!” in robot voice)
– Jeremy – Nickelback’s “Bottoms Up” (Jono chants “Read it again!; “Krogs! It’s so Krogs… It’s the Kroggiest”)
– Jonathan – Honeymoon Suite (Jere: “I’ll tell you what’s broken… the rhyme scheme”)
– Jeremy – Kim Mitchell (Jono chants “Read it again!”; “I want it to be a lyric, but it must be a lie.”)
– Jonathan – Rush (“That’s a lie, bahd!”)
– Jeremy – Glass Tiger (Jere reads in thick Scottish accent. “Frew or False?”)
[Jonathan plays another 1986 Jam: “Don’t Forget Me” by Glass Tiger (Both talk like Alan Frew]
– Jeremy – Corey Hart (Jono talks like Corey Hart “nothing rhymes with six”; “NO WAY!!!” is Jonathan’s favourite thing in the world)
– Jonathan – Sarah McLachlan (“That’s gotta be a lie, bahd!”)
– Jeremy – David Wilcox
– Jonathan – Hedley (Jere: “The HOG! That guy looks like a shrunk Ben Mulroney.”)
– Jeremy – Burton Cummings’ “Break it to Them Gently”
– Jonathan – Leonard Cohen
– Jeremy – Simple Plan (Jere: “It’s your boy, P. Bouvier.”)

Jonathan plays another 1986 Jam:
– “Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna
– “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins (Jono reads IMBD Top Gun Cast: “The skirted-egg lookin’ mafk”; Meg Ryan plays Carole with an “e”; “Where were you when you saw Top Gun, and what were you feeling inside?”; Jono’s childhood friends looked like Tom Cruise and Christian Slater; Jere saw Christian Slater cross-dress at a party)
– “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin

“On the Darts: Top Gun Edition” Game
– Tom Cruise: No. “They’re probably vegetarian darts”
– Kelly McGillis: “Heavy Darts”
– Val Kilmer: “I think Val Kilmer’s on the darts when he’s drinking.”
– “The Skirted-Egg From E.R.: “I’m gonna say, not on the darts.”
– Tom Skerritt: “Moustached Yellowed darts”
– Michael Ironside: “Darts”
– Tim Robbins: “Never seen him on the darts.” ; “No Darts.”
– Meg Ryan: “I think she’s in the Jennifer Aniston – Sneaky Darts Society”; “Fish mouth”

Jono alludes to “The Joshua Tree” and “Dirty Dancing” coming in 1987

Jono’s listening to “Wicked Game” while painting shirtless

Jeremy almost burns his face off in Muskoka, starting BBQ “you can hear the propane, just ripping…”; Singed facial hair; “Chemical peel”

Jono plays 1987 Jam:
– “La Bamba” by Los Lobos

TSN Radio show update

Jono plays 1987 Jams:
– “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx
– “What Have I Done to Deserve This?” by Pet Shop Boys

“Who’s This Canadian Mafk?” Game
Jeremy: Seth Rogen; Jonathan: Michael Cera; Jeremy: Chad Kroger; Jonathan: Alanis Morissette (alternative answer: Tom Green); [Jonathan rents a Sante Fe Sport smelling of urine]; Jeremy: deadmou5; Jonathan: Keanu Reaves (alternative answer: Joshua Jackson or George Stromboulopoulos); Jeremy: David Foster; Jonathan: Gino Reda; Jeremy: Donald Sutherland; [Jeremy tells hammered Keifer Sutherland story; baseball dogs]; Jonathan: Celine Dion

Jono plays 1987 Jams:
– “This One Goes Out to the One I Love” by R.E.M.
– “Can’t We Try” by Dan Hill with Vonda Shepard –> (Ally McBeal Theme)
<br< TnT Mailbag: Ice Hockey = Grass Baseball; US Election chat; Legal Weed; Andrea & Laramie on Letterkenny?–>Allude to tv plot; Gord Downie’s end-of-life contribution to reconciliation project; Worst Canadian City?; New Canadian Bands?; 1 role/gig you didn’t get

Jeremy references fighting a kid, with his mom cheering him on. “She was on team Tags?”

Jono plays 1988 Jam:
– “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley (What constitutes as an attractive back-up dancer has sure changed over the years; Jono “digs” his wardrobe)

Plot or Not Game
– Jonathan: Beachcombers; Jeremy: Seeing Things; Jonathan: Murdoch Mysteries; Jeremy: Beachcombers; Jonathan: Degrassi; Jeremy: Degrassi; Jonathan: Street Legal; Jeremy: Hangin’ In; Jeremy: Heartland; Jeremy: My Secret Identity

Jono plays 1988 Jam:
– “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman
– What was Gord was doing in 1988? “Orinoco Flow” recording (“Is it Sail Away or Save the Whales?”
– “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin (Bobby McFerrin’s on the scoops; Robin Williams is baked?– keeps going back into the bathroom. “When he was wearing glasses in a movie, look out!”; Jeremy references when he “moves his mouth back and forth with his mouth closed”… “that’s when you knew he was being ‘right dramatical’”; Andrea refers to Robin Williams as a “tear magnet”; Discuss Robin Williams films)

“Who’s This Canadian Mafk? Part 2” Game
– Jeremy: Ryan Gosling (“He’s just eye-banging the people watching him churn butter”; “Dart n Squint”); Jonathan: Justin Trudeau; Jeremy: Mike Myers; Jonathan: Dion Phaneuf; Jeremy: Ryan Reynolds; Jonathan: Shania Twain; Jeremy: Dan Aykroyd (not Taylor Hall); Jonathan: Russell Martin; Jeremy: James Cameron; Jonathan: (Jeremy guesses Michael J. Fox; Jono laughs) Avril Lavigne; Jonathan: Lloyd Robertson

Jono plays David Foster’s 1988 Calgary Olympics theme; discuss David Foster’s biography

When did Summer & Winter Olympics stop happening in the same year?

Jono plays 1988 Jams:
– “Got my Mind Set On You” by George Harrison (“Fish on the Sand,” “That’s What it Takes,” “Cloud Nine,” “When We Was Fab,” “This is Love” were other songs)
– “A Groovy Kind of Love” by Phil Collins (Jeremy’s mom in a car accident, with this song stuck on radio; reference “Take Me Home” video;)
– Jonathan sings “Diamond Sun” by Glass Tiger as Alan Frew

Tim Hortons eclairs and doughnuts chat. “Stay in your lane” regarding Tuscon Chicken.

Alan Frew & Peter Gabriel hang out back-stage at the Junos

Jonathan celebrates Thanksgiving by “picking up the girlst and going apple picking”; chair-lift before hiking down the mogul run; “since the birth of my children, I’m a real nervous Nelly now.”

Taggart family is playing Pokemon, Jack wants swagways to”stand on and burl around”; “John hits me with, ‘Dad, walking’s a thing of the past’”; “you’d be Alan Doyling all over the place.”

Jonathan talks about rollerbladers in PEI swinging around stop signs.

The “Canadianity” book is completed, submitted

“Snapback” discussion. 50 made, one appeared at MLB Wildcard game –> suspect it’s Nathan Dales from Letterkenny. Jonathan made 100 more, sent them to bahds, CFL supporters, Comedy Channel folks, etc.

Discussion about the “Count Dracula hair Beer Thrower” at MLB Wildcard game

Jono plays 1989 Jam:
– “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” by Simply Red (Jonathan refers to UK Office’s David Brent music video parody)

1989: Jeremy is 14 in Barrie, ON. Jonathan begins working at Street Cents, buying single darts for 5 cents

“Thankful For” Game
– Jeremy: “For the Blue Jays”
– Jonathan: “For Mafks that don’t stop the second they walk through the door of a public stop” –> “Thankful for Good Flow…” (“I’m Thankful For Mafks is really a thinly veiled way to bring up our pet peeves”)
– Jeremy: “For Harper Collins”
– Jonathan: “For Mafks that don’t guilt you when you have to change plans” (Jere: “Remember? Like you promised?”)
– Jeremy: “For Tylenol 3s that Lisa gave me” (Discuss headaches vs migraines)
– Jonathan: “For Mafks that don’t say ‘that’s nothing… check this out’ when you finish a story” (Jeremy refers the dolphin story; #dickdocked; the cool whip/marsh mellow fluff; “Oh no, my pants are inflating!”; Butterfly kisses and squeals)
– [Jono plays 1989 jam: “Love Shack” by B-52s; refer to “How Bizarre” by OMC- “The Narcos-lookin’ Mafk”]
– Jonathan: “For the Mafk that released the Billy Bush Donald Trump tape” (Donald Trump IS a “full on” Crunch, Crunch, Crunch guy!)
– Jonathan: “I’m thankful for Henry, when he remembers to take a poo outside.”

Jere plays 1989 Jam:
– “Girl You Know it’s True” by Milli Vanilli (Both cackle laugh & mock the intro; Jonathan wants Vanilla Ice to team up with the remaining member as Milli Vanilla; Vanilla Ice “rides out the storm”; has a reality tv show – “Whatev salad”)

“Thankful For” Game continued
– Jonathan: “I’d be thankful if someone could explain the clown thing.” (Jere – “Give a weirdo a chance to be weird, and they’ll take it.” – “Clownsequences”)
– [Taggart family Halloween costumes (Jack – Zombie Banana; Anneliese – Wolf; John – not sure); Torrens girls: Indy – SWAT team member, Sugardaisy – Princess]
– Jonathan: “I’m thankful for mafks who use your name a lot” (Jonathan expresses hatred for “moving forward”
– Jeremy: For lining up for Batman in Barrie in 1989 (Discuss Batman & James Bond actors)

Jonathan shares the most Hipster transaction ever in New England Starbucks

Jeremy lists classic 1989 movies

Jeremy’s twitter 1989 profile picture (winning playoffs in Barrie, with Wheels’ glasses)

Taggart’s 3 preferred Christmas movies (National Lampoons, Elf, Polar Express)

Jono plays 1989 Jam:
– “Love in an Elevator” by Aerosmith (Racy music video; Jono embarrassed at Grandma’s house, shut down after watching “Like a Virgin”–> “It was a different time, bahd!”; Jeremy shares sleeping Papa Doug story; both cackle laugh)

Discuss the new game “In the Booth” – Bare vocal takes in the recording studio]

Jonathan confirms Nate Dales as the bahd wearing TnT hat at the Blue James game

“In the Booth” Game
– Jeremy: “Hold on” by Wilson Phillips (Not the WWF Chyna – RIP, like the TLC lady; “Trying to remember the melody!”; “I really believed it,though, I thought it was good.”)
– Jonathan: “Thinking About You” by London Beat (Jeremy as producer, crunches Tic Tacs; “we’re gonna spin it in”- both laugh – reference Donald Trump’s Tic Tac and “grab her by the pussy” comment)
– Jeremy: “Unskinny Bop” by Poison (Unskinny Bop = “Pounding with no dome?”, “A big booty”; Jonathan as British Producer Donovan, Jeremy as Bret Michaels does scoops before singing= Both laugh loudly; J-Roc should’ve done “Unskinny Brap, Brap”)
– Jonathan: “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder (Jonathan – “I love this game, it brings me so much joy!”; Stevie unable to see the red light in the booth; “it’s hot!” -Both laugh.)
– Jeremy: “Waterfalls” by TLC (Jeremy performs as T-Boz – busts out laughing multiple times)
– Jonathan: “This is How You Remind Me” by Nickelback (Jono as Chad brags about his Lamborghini; Jeremy as friend/producer, Joey, who drives Corolla. “You can’t rush rock, bro-dude… it’s not rock if anyone has their shirts on… Your new name is Shut-Up…. You’re starring at me with your face like a half-chewed caramel!”; Chad runs over Corolla with a German tank)

Jonathan shares about a PEI horror movie he worked on: “got beat up pretty good”, local guy, Bobby, “solid, salt of the earth bahd” who “jerks off horses” for a living (“brought it right down, out of the side of his mouth”)

Jeremy plays 1990 Jams:
– “Blue Sky Mine” by Midnight Oil
– “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel (“Stay in your lane, B-Jo”)
– “Just Came Back” by Colin James

Bahds weigh in re: Hatsplanation. Snapback Nation

Gord sings “Nothing Compares 2 U”, replacing lyrics to complain about Bruce playing FarmAid, eating Nanaimo Bars. (1990 Prince Jam. “Raspberry Beret” is Jonathan’s favourite Prince jam; discuss Bernie wants to hear podcast…)

Jeremy plays 1990 Jams:
– “From a Distance” by Bette Midler
– “Downtown Train” by Rod Stewart (Original by Tom Waits; Andrea weighs in “she’s not even wet!” – Barges into Laramie’s bedroom.)

Developments in Andrea N Them: Fired from Purolator, with no severance package. “Covered in dust” while watching soap operas. Fills out “PlentyofFishes” profile in hopes of getting compliments from Laramie. “How would you describe my looks, out of 10?”

Jeremy plays 1990 Jams:
– “U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer (Jonathan references: “Have You Seen Her?”; “Awww yeah… I’m glad you put this tape in!”)
– “Blame It On the Rain” by Milli Vanilli (Jonathan likes the song, “it’s pleasing!”; Andrea’s gonna pour syrup over poo, listening to this while walking in the rain. Jeremy reads Milli Vanilli YouTube comments – both laugh; Jonathan reads comments for “Girl, You Know it’s True”)
– “Baby, Don’t Forget My Number” by Milli Vanilli
– “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor (Gord writes letter to Bernie)

Reflect on “In the Booth” game and its success

Jeremy plays 1991 Jams:
– “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana (Game changers – “putting syrup on poo”)
– “Jesus Christ Pose” by Soundgarden (originators of grunge)
– Jono gives 1991 Junos recap: Maestro Fresh Wes won Best Rap Album; Blue Rodeo won Group of the Year; Tragically Hip won Entertainers of the Year; Prairie Oyster won Country Group of the Year; Joe & Gino Vannelli won Recording Engineer of the Year
– “Til I Am Myself Again” by Blue Rodeo (Blue Rodeo recorded at House of Strombo)
– “Walking in Memphis” by Marc Cohn (“Trivia: Who is Marc Cohn’s wife?”)
– “Set Adrift on a Memory Bliss” by P.M. Dawn (“Did that guy die?” “I feel like one of them stepped out in the last year…”)

“Vanilli or Vannelli?” Game (Jono reads YouTube comments, Jeremy guesses who’s who)

Jonathan’s watching the Batchelorette; mentions guy from Quebec “I just can’t wait to see ‘er”

Jeremy plays 1991 Jams:
– “Crazy” by Seal (“Had to sing this song every day since” lookin’ mafk; “Definitely on the darts”; “One a day like a vitamin”; “He’s also got a Letterman gap”; Jonathan finds Heidi Klum “mildly irritating”)
– “Something to Believe In” by Poison
– [Anneliese poured chocolate milk onto keyboard – “Now it’s totally fucked. The keyboard’s fried, bahd!”]
– [Road Apples was released in 1991; Gord’s interview with Peter Mansbridge; Gord’s interest in indigenous history; “bahd city”; Jonathan has “The Stranger” lyrics from “The Secret Path” stuck in his head] “Long Time Running” by Tragically Hip

“Get a Job” Game
(Both snicker after Hornsby introduction; Discuss Bruce Hornsby vs Cockburn)
– Mr. Humphrey, Manager at M-m-M-MUFFINS interviews Bri-Ashley – “no dice!”
– [Jonathan predicts “Get a Job” occurring at 1:06 in the song]
– Hank interviews with Bill Belvedere at Bargain Harold’s – “Hanks, but no Hanks”
– Chip & Pepper interview Justine (“They’re t-shirt mafks”; “sneaky rips for days”)

“In the Booth” Game
– Jeremy: “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker Jr. (Spin Doctors guy joins in; “Henry, Frig off, Pecker!” –> Refer to upcoming tour–> Shoutout to Mike MacFarlane “all in, just cause! Ground Zero Bahd. First Responder”)
– Jonathan: “Thriller” by Michael Jackson (“Can you make it a bit more wet?”; Falsetto screaming — “Could you understand what I was saying?”; Michael crushes candy – ET Pez, Sugar Cereals, etc)
– Jeremy: “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon (Jono as Donovan; “walking with the Queen”; “that was a good ol’ fashion bird measuring contest…”)
– Jonathan: “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell gets replaced by “Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Revival (Jere as “Crunch Crunch” producer; Fogerty brothers reference Vannelli brothers; Fogerty lost a lawsuit for sounding “too much like himself”)
– Jeremy: “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult (Jono as annoying, high-pitched producer – “I haven’t had an artist this weird in here since Cyndi Lauper)

Gord & Bernie: “Hey Bernie!”; Gord delivers pan of Nanaimo Bars on a rope & pulley system. Gord sings Kriss Kross’ “Jump Jump” & encourages Bernie to wear clothes backwards; “It’s not a party until someone pulls off their Dungarees”; “The only problem is when you have to drain the snake, it takes a bit longer.” Gord sings “Baby’s Got Back”

Discuss Alec Baldwin’s interview with Gordon Lightfoot. (“Too many girls & too many songs”… “Don’t want to step on her toes”)

Andrea reacts to “Starboy” by The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk played by Gary Lake, with mint green TicTacs. “Why don’t you give yourself a fist in the face?”; “What the frig kind of perv song is that?”; “I wouldn’t mind mounting Chris Isaak like a piece of taxodermy.”

Spook-tacular Popular Girl visit:
– “Lost Together” by Blue Rodeo (“Dyke Myers” dressed like Wayne; “Puts the ass in astronaut – Roberta Blonde Hair”; “Whora Secord”)
– “Digging in the Dirt” by Peter Gabriel (“Michelle J. Fox”)
– “Constant Craving” by K.D. Lang (“Margaret Gotwood”)
– (Mention Best Stripper Names: Jann Hard-on, Joan Candy, Bendy Mesley)
– “The Power” by SNAP! (“Shania Kent”; “If we opened Popular Girl, would it be a hit?”; Men’s Night: “Lloyd Throbertson”; “There were no toonies!”)

Jonathan discusses his daughters’ joint birthday party. “We’re gonna get our bounce on” at a trampoline park; “I think I’ll be a corraller, but I don’t know if I’ll be an active jumper…” Identifies himself as “quite bendy because I have a very long thorax and short legs”

Can-ninety-anity Mafk Game
– Jeremy plays “Video & Arcade Top 10” – “Motor Mouth” Nicolas Picholas
– [Jonathan remembers YTV’s Scott Yaphe – Wink Yahoo on “It’s Alive” and “Uh Oh!” host]
– Jeremy plays Much Music clip; Jonathan guesses “Dan Gallagher – Test Pattern”
– Jeremy plays “Intimate & Interactive” clip of Peter Garrett

More “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” alarm clock scenarios

Discuss David Hasselhoff viral video “Would you throw your dad under the bus like that?”

Discuss Donovan with the “pineapple top, mullet in the back” hair; both “skat” the drum fill for “In the Air Tonight”; Jeremy reveals that “The Village Recorder” (concrete studio used for Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” album) is where Phil Collins recorded the drum solo

Jeremy discusses Toblerone triangle removal

Minnesotian hair-styles & accents

Jonathan references “Student Bodies” show

Can-ninety-anity Lookin’ Mafk Game
– Jonathan describes Stu Jefferies, Bill Welychka (“Magic: The Gathering”), Genie Becker, Hugh Dillon (“crushing OLP’s entire rider”), Paul Gross (“blank cheque city”)
– “What the Trump happened?” – Discuss why Donald Trump won American election & concerns as to what comes next.

“Hello” Game
– Jeremy answers phone as Joe Vannelli, after his favourite black t-shirt went missing

Jonathan buys headset overseas; speaks English with German & Croatian accents

Discuss upcoming “Frig Off Peckers” tour plans & merch

Anneliese throws out “alert, alert” while home from school sick

Discuss being jet-legged (Jeremy falls asleep mid-set; )

Jeremy plays 1994 Jams:
– “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base (Swedish Explosion)
– [Jonathan shares about his European interactions; Trump is “good theatre”]
– “Regulate” by Warren G. Feat Nate Dogg
– “Coax Me” by Sloan
– [Jonathan’s girls host their own talk shows; Anneliese comes to visit]
– “Hasn’t Hit Me Yet” by Blue Rodeo (Jeremy sings back-up vocals with Blue Rodeo)

Jonathan reveals that The Kinks were inspired by Gregorian Chants; Radiohead “Paranoid Android” too!; Brad Roberts is Gregorian?

Jeremy plays 1994 Jams:
– “Better Man” by Pearl Jam (Jeremy delves into behind the scenes Pearl Jam info)
– “Undone (The Sweater Song)” by Weezer
– “Spoonman” by Soundgarden (discuss Blind Melon, double-header tour)
– “Grace, Too” by The Tragically Hip
– [Indigo Torrens talk show interview interlude]
– “I Would Do Anything For That” by Meatloaf (“What is THAT?”; “post-coital tenderness?”; “won’t let his walls down?”; #whatwontMeatloafdo contest; “I love you but I’m not going to Le Chateau cause they don’t have a man-chair”; “I love you so much, but I’m not going to couples yoga… your aunt’s place”; “I love you but I won’t eat Manwich”)
– [Anneliese comes back, dancing and coughing]

Lyric or Lie Game
– Jeremy reads Bryan Adams (Jonathan groans with disgust: “Lyric. Barf”)
– Jonathan reads Shania Twain (Jeremy guesses “Lyric”)
– Jeremy reads Theory of a Deadman (Jonathan: “Barf… It’s gotta be a lyric!”)
– Jonathan reads Tom Cochrane (Jeremy: “Sounds like lyrics to me”; “it’s a lie, bahd”)
– Jeremy reads Gino Vannelli as Joe (Jonathan: “Gonna say lyric”)
– Jonathan reads B4-4 (Jeremy: “I can smell the hairspray from here… That’s gotta be a lyric. Come on, give me some tan!” Fighting over the bottle of wipe-on tan. Jonathan references SoulDecision)
– Jeremy reads Burton Cummings (Jonathan: “it’s so cooky, it’s gotta be a lyric.” – references Maestro’s cover of “These Eyes”; raps as J-Roc)
– Jonathan reads Maestro Fresh Wes (Jeremy: “that’s a lie, bahd”)
– Jeremy reads Glass Tiger as Alan Frew (Jonathan: “lyric… I follow the Frew on Twitter, and he’s awesome!”)

Jonathan shares about his mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s & lung cancer; how she passed he was away while on tour (mentions his daughters saying “alert alert” and “that’s classic”)

Jeremy reflects on sleeping over at the Torrens’ “house of Bahdism”

Michael Caine –> My Cocaine (Donovan working in studio, spills mountain of cocaine, calls Italian janitor, Guiseppe, who electrocutes himself, resulting in the “Return to Innocence” background vocals)

Jeremy plays 1995 Jams:
– “Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie and the Blowfish
– “This is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan (“Back-a-doom”)
– “Rhythm of the Night” by Corona
– [Jonathan refers to ripped jeans with red flannel underneath and leather flags of the world jacket from Randy River; Jeremy refers to “big huge jeans that are 2 feet wide”/Len pants and huge t-shirts; Jonathan calls himself “golf-knob”]
– “Big Poppa” by The Notorious B.I.G (Jeremy appreciates Biggie’s beats)
– “Waterfalls” by TLC (Jonathan alludes to past Hit the Post episode: “this one almost broke me”)

Jeremy shares ’95 OLP/Van Halen tour stories; his friend punched through slatted closet door & using Bailey’s to fix it (Robert Plant discovered them; played Page & Plant tour)

Jeremy plays 1995 Jam:
– “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams (Salvador gives commentary on the song; wears Zorro mask and bolotie on dates; “With Catherine Zeta-Mafk?”)

“What Won’t Meatloaf Do” Game results
– Eat Meatloaf ironically; Buy a house from that pecker, Gary Lake; go to your kids’ recital; Hold his woman’s purse while she shops; Wear a Manziere; Support the Maple Leafs; Won’t talk about Fight Club; Say no to seconds; Thursday Zumba at the Legion; Butt stuff; Kiss during sex; Rehab; Eat salad for lunch. [Top 3: Re-enact the pottery scene from the movie Ghost; Won’t stand in line at Subway as to not smell like that mafk when he leaves; Dress up as Zeddy the Zellers Bear]

Newstalk1010 – 20 minute Sunday night Snapback meet-up (“it’s greasy, but it’s fun”)

Jeremy plays 1995 Jam:
– “Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead” by Crash Test Dummies (Ellen sings on Dumb & Dumber soundtrack; XTC originally did song)

“Workin’ Hard or Hawksley Workman” Game
– Treble Charger – will have to work again
– [Jeremy suggests that The Hip are the only Canadian band that won’t have to work again; possibly Blue Rodeo]
– David Usher – “Sure”; Matthew Good – “He is working again!”; Rush – Hawksley Workman; Triumph- Workin’ Hard; Hawksley Workman – Workin’ Hard;
– “American One-Hit Wonders”: Crazytown – “Butterfly”: “Never have to work again”; Seal – “Kiss From a Rose”: “but he lives large…”

Jeremy shares how Van Halen techs had their own work stages/bars on stage; drummer lit his own arm on fire

Mention Am-bahdsador contributions for upcoming book; Manitoba still needed; aggressive verbs to be used to describe “to-do”

Jeremy thanks “gaggle crowd of people” for the Bahd-hat meet-up–> “Christmas Without You” by Fortunate Ones

Jonathan expresses appreciation for bahds sharing grief stories; “what a cozy quilt of Canadianity we are wrapped in”

“I Saw Three Ships” by Bruce Cockburn; Gord refers to this song on “Garbage FM”

Jonathan records personalized greetings for fans donating $50 to shelters/food banks. Raised over $20,000. J-Roc, Andrea, Gordon Lightfoot, Mr. Cheeley requests.

“The Drummer Boy (Peace on Earth)” by David Bowie & Bing Crosby (Jeremy: Bing Crosby is “not the bahd of the week”; allegedy “boxing his kids’ ears on holidays”; fuelled by “My Cocaine”)

“8 Days of Christmas” by Burton Cummings (Dimebag of Panama Red, 2 hits of acid, 3 pink pills, 4 snorts of coke, 5 pounds of hash, 6 joints a smokin, 7 healthy roaches, 8 hooters hooting)

Carole’s cookie exchange = Oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies; “They don’t even make sense… Little top-hats of deliciousity… Oreo lying in wait to attack your tastebuds”; TnT Cookbook – TasteBahds; Bahdburgers; Bahd-B-Q

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” by Vince Guaraldi Trio –> British Producer, Donovan, doesn’t have time for anyone else’s name-drops. “Do you know who doesn’t like baseball? The QUEEN… Sorry, just reading a text from the Queen… Okay, we’re recording!.. The QU-WEEN.” Mentions connections with: Eric Clapton, Elton John, Freddie Mercury, Paul McCartney, Jimi Hendrix, etc.

Jeremy shares about mic-dropping stomach flu. “It was mostly like running to the toilet and fire-hosin’ out the stomach aches, every 15 minutes!

Also, aching and pain in the limbs… Andre The Giant runs…”; Anneliese gets sick, then John, then Jack, then Lisa. Jonathan’s impressed with the body’s capacity to purge sickness.

Jonathan & Carole go to Nashville; he gets hiccups “is there a vulture in the restaurant?”; onions = gaseous in the mouth; waitress “scared the hiccups straight out of me”

Jono gives Customer Service Update: Bob @ Cummins; BMW Mini, Genius Bar in Halifax (dudes come in all the time, asking for help to re-arrange their dick pics)

“Christmas Eve” by Gino Vannelli (Jonathan hates Jessica Simpson approach to Christmas songs; or cheerleading contemporary versions – “whatever that stuff is, no thanks!”)

Holiday Hum-Off Game
– (2nd in line @ Shoppers, has to pee; lady ahead has her card declined) – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
– (Just finished work, driving home, running out of gas) – Jingle Bells [Jonathan ends hum-off yelling “FUCK!”]
– (In elevator, just gaseous; mother & 2 kids unexpectedly get on) – Jingle Bell Rock
– (Orange Julius store manager overseeing slacker employees) – White Christmas
– Jonathan shares about a co-worker who used to smell fountain pop drinks; Double Fillet-o-Fish story @ McDonalds
– (Annual Family Photo Presentation; projector not working; increasingly frustrated) – Here Comes Santa Claus [Jeremy begins angrily swearing… shares stories of Ronnie’s swears – “Scunnering C- – -”]
– (On a bus, in the city, see hot girl & gets fired up) – Silver Bells

Jeremy doesn’t care for New Years resolutions; discuss New Years traditions (Anneliese does talent show, John plays recorder)

RoofPounders.ca – pay to have a fake santa come to the house to get things goin

Kids getting sick over the holidays; Jonathan makes frozen jello pops with medicine

“Christian Science” discussion

Jono describes his winter: “It’s so fluctu-atey,” skating with “pillows on his feet”; “my grape-stompers are flat and are size 12 and have been since grade 4 or 5” –> Discuss foot arch theories

Breaking News: Brad Roberts e-mails Jono elaborates on the “mmmmm” chorus –> role play with Brad with his girlfriend, neighbour gets angry; Lining up at some gigs that will “blow your mind”

Discuss bank line-up people: “people that wear pajama bottoms,” “wearing Guitar Hero pants,” “blue haired, senior citizen folks,” “folks that maybe get their cheque in the mail that morning that were really expecting it,” “people that are, across-the-board un-trustworthy,” “contractor types dealing in cash”; Jonathan describes annoying bank lady (with bangs and frosted tips, floral blouse, elastic khaki pants with no pockets, glasses with tinted tops); Jeremy – “bank hair is like 3rd grade teacher hair”;

Jeremy weighs in on Edwin Encarnacion trade

Jonathan wonders if “Canada Day thing” requires bi-lingual hosting; Jeremy laughs hysterically:“to me in my head, it will be one long skit”; both cackle laugh while practicing; “maybe we should host Canada Day as Simple Plan?”

“Trailers” Game (ad-libbing entire plot based off of movie trailer/songs)
– Andrea n Them movie: Andrea takes shrooms and feels “right friggy”; Andrea gets job in California, NB; Laramie admits he’s “not really a guy”;
– Gary Lake shows up — “smashing pissers… is a terrible expression”
– [Jeremy shares about burling on the school bus; Jono sits beside piece of poo]
– Vannellis movie: Girls, Brios, Power Struggle in the Band (Jonathan wants Vannelli brothers animated cartoon show like Beavis & Butt-Head)

“Debatin’” game with Gino & Joe Vannelli
– Jono (Gino; Dad); Jeremy (Joe; Mom) have dinner table argument about skating/beer league hockey; Jono drops f-bomb and “You Goombas”; Gretzky vs Lemieux argument

Discuss hypothetical plans for Episode 100 in Toronto

Discuss 2nd draft of “Canadianity” as a Bathroom Reader; western swing tour planning

100th episode to be recorded at Mike MacFarlane’s building

Discuss Bell’s “Let’s Talk Day” to end stigma surrounding mental health; Jeremy informs about CAMH; Jonathan references Rikki: “you’d take a car in for a tune-up, why wouldn’t you do the same thing with your mind?”; Jonathan reveals his mother’s struggle with Depression; role of bullies; increasing anxiety within society

Jonathan and Carole go horseback riding across desert; visited “Rawhide, AZ”, saw magic show with outdated jokes: “What’s up with Carl Lewis’ hair?”, “So, I’m walking Alf the other day…”; Fatburger woman obnoxiously yells/constantly screws up names – Jonathan impersonates her: “it’s my favourite sound and now my kids are doing it… Carole will vouch for me, I’m not exaggerating.”

Jeremy further describes CAMH as a support for Addiction

Dessert or Desert game
– Plum Clafoutis (dessert); Tiny Fools (“sounds like a pretty depressing dessert, so I’m gonna say desert”; impersonate Joe & Gino; playing Briscola and Crokinole); Care Free “Dessert…” “Nope, desert, bahd!”); Orange Buckle (dessert); Pioche (Desert?); Cow Lick (Desert?); Helper (“sounds like a dessert?”); Brown Betty (“woah, brown betty!” Dessert); Pahramp (“pastry dish dessert?” – “Desert”)
– Jeremy suggests new game: read out one line from a song, other has to guess: “Harry doesn’t mind” from Dire Straits’ Sultans of Swing; Jonathan sings “This is how we do it” by Montell Jordan as Fatburger Lady

Discuss frustrations at the grocery store, being asked to move to another empty register once items are already on conveyor; “that’s above my paygrade”; frustrations with airline ground support staff (“4 people standing around playing Angry Birds”)

Jeremy plays 1999 Jams:
– [“Please sir, can I have some more?”]
– “La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin (Salvador was in a Ricky Martin cover band; Boyz 2 Munedo – “The Tour Nobody Asked For”; Poster-Making contest for snapback hat)
– “Bobcaygeon” – The Tragically Hip (Gordon Lightfoot sings at Karaoke)

Gord sings 90s Jams: “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer; “I Want it That Way” by Backstreet Boys; “Scar Tissue” by Red Hot Chili Peppers; “All-Star” by Smash Mouth; “All the Small Things” by Blink 182)

Both laugh about Gord “rippin down hallways” on razor scooter past statues in his massive mansion – “What a sin!”; new little wifey every 6-12 months; Jono cackle laughs after discussion about Gord’s secret passages, knight armour, hidden bowling alley; Gord gets hover board; “Gord’s House” should be an animated show on the Comedy Network; “intricate tunnel system”)

Jeremy highlights “Smooth” by Santana & Rob Thomas; (Jono “doesn’t get” either of them)

“Jetski or Gretzky” game
– “long lasting good looks” – jetski
– “strong & powerful in motion” – Gretzky
– “blends speed and acceleration” – jetski (Jeremy finally gets one right)
– “most playful ride you’ll find” – jetski
– “such ability and grace” – Gretzky
– “packs horsepower worth every penny” – jetski
– “stopped appealing to younger folks” – jetski
– “when the jets came on, just awesome to watch” – Gretzky (mentions Connor McDavid at All-Star weekend)
– “watching the pivot and backward skate was great fun” – jetski

Further discuss Gord’s House; underground car garages; Gord goes to Goodlife Gym to meet new little wifeys–> Weekend vs weeknight wifeys; 3 separate lives goin; the Lightfoot Wives

Jeremy plays another 1999 jam, assuming Andrea would play while in the shower: “She’s so High” by Tal Bachman; mentions a slew of Shania Twain songs, plays “From This Moment On” – Jono sings along; discuss skirted egg haircuts, “friar” cut

Discuss children’s morning tv shows (Martha Speaks and the poor casting)

Reflect on Peter Mainsbridge’s “riffing and spritzing” on a live national broadcast –> discuss national issues, including prescription pills, at-home terrorism, education system

Wes crushes Timbits; wants GoFundMe account to fix cavities; “How’s it Goin Bahd” after 20 seconds, takes Bahd stickers and COQK stickers from “treat trolley”

Group predicts number of re-tweets for Jonathan’s tweet: “BREAKING: Jewel confirmed to perform ‘My Hands are Small’ for @realdonaldtrump at #inauguration.” Jewel has “aggressive eye teeth”. Trump as president will be a “long continual shit storm… hornets nest every day”.

Discuss small town America (conservative Christian Texans; mid-west Nascar watchers on the porch who bbq)

Jeremy tells about worst-ever Our Lady Peace show, opening for Tea Party: “totally went off the rails and had to stop playing… Tail between the legs and walk out.”

Sex With Sue –Kara from Toronto/PEI weighs in; “the thing about having load on your face”

Behind the Scenes with Jonovision- busing kids in for the show against their will, “Don’t even go there, Angela” comment

Mark Forward takes the mic: Heights phobia, attempting to cross Vancouver’s suspension bridge 1/3 success rate; “how about we count the number of deer on his [Wes’] shirt”; mocks Rye and red cups “reminding you of everything you did wrong in college”; “I was the biggest what’s up with worms guy in Canada?”

Discuss the significance of 100 episodes, impact of Canadianity, Bahdism; acknowledges Mike MacFarlane the “first responder bahd” who hosted event and bought chippies

Giuseppe and Donovan listen to Enigma’s “Return to Innocence”–> Discuss character duos within first 100 episodes: Salvador & Bri-Ashley–> J-Roc’s Spanish twist; Down-vest lesbians in Yellowknife cleaning out cabin; Jere-Bear & Colleen; all Jeremy’s girl characters sound like Rusty from Friendly Giant

Jonathan talks about role as Cindy Crosby, recording a piece with world’s oldest Drag Queen. “I’m less worried about what to do with my horn as I am about eyelashes.”

Discuss Two-Faced contest- “Chris Farley Mowat”; KD-Lang with Kraft Dinner

Captain Haddock-lookin’ mafk plays “Talk About” with Timbits

Reflect on contradictory roles for Robin Williams and Jim Carrey; discuss differences between acting and impersonating

Mike MacFarlane weighs in on the development of taggartandtorrens.ca

“It’s Nuts To Butts” describes the Flatliners gigs; quick check in with Tim Oxford

Re-Tweet Recap: 40 – Steve wins!

Jeremy plays 2001 Jam:
– “Butterfly” by Crazytown (“It makes me feel frisky”; “I think half this band is dead!”–> Jeremy gets annoyed with Micah; “oh man, Micah’s a piece of work”)

Jeremy’s worst Family Day (migraine and getting sick while riding the bus; “the fill your mouth and hold your hand over it styles…dripping around my fingers… it was caked in my face, all over my hands.” – Jono: “you barfed the bus!”; Jono queries “have you ever had the lowercase d in public?… You’ve had the slops?”; Jeremy shares “I shit my pants, in the race! Rippin’ diarrhea down the leg”; “my public squirtsky”)

Mike Myers’ family road trip with a pee pie-plate

Carol bought Jonathan a set of drums; discuss drum beats, signature sounds, the “drummer’s high”, painful shins, thumb blisters, & callouses; Jeremy pissed on his hands to speed up healing

Clattenberg’s documentary “India Kicked My Ass” where he found solace with monkeys

Jeremy plays 2001 Jam:
– “H to the Izzo” by Jay-Z (“Back when Kanye was staying in the studio instead of being a nutcase”; Trevor from Tailor Park Boys = great rapper, “an interesting cat”)

Discuss aspirations for Episode 150, in Canada’s 150th year at Justin Trudeau’s house of disrepair “leaky, bucketful nightmare” (JT3) –> The Trump-Trudeau handshake

Jonathan’s participation in Guinness Book of World Record for “most selfies in 3 minutes.”

Jeremy plays 2001 Jams:
– “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias (Salvador barfs on the bus after sour chorizo while listening to this song; giving Bri-Ashley his tanktop while walking seawall, wearing UFC boxer shorts, “tour de France leg veins”)
– “Turn off the Lights” by Nelly Furtado (Shooby dooby song)
– “Never Again” by Nickelback (Original mad at your dad jam “living room is a boxing ring”)

Gord-Gord-Gord-Gord-Gord game (Gordon Pinsent, Lightfoot, Downie, Howe, Miller quotes)

Taggart family pushing to get a pet; Jonathan shares about his dog Henry

Jeremy’s daughter is singing “Ridin’ Dirty” and “High All the Time”

Reflecting on last week’s character, Micah (“Hey Jermy”)

Discussion on reality shows: International House Hunters, Love it or List it, Cops, Campus PD, To Serve & Protect (“the most underwhelming cases ever”)

Jeremy plays 2002 Jams:
– “Blurry” by Puddle of Mudd (Lead singer is “BnE looking mafk”; Jeremy shares story of Sean Avery moving in on Rachel Hunter)
– “Whatever, Whenever” by Shakira (Jeremy’s story of Shakira yelling at assistant in Spanish; discussion of doing corporate gigs)

Rod Stewart is “all banged up”; potentially “back on the sauce”; “Whatevs salad”

Jeremy plays 2002 Jams:
– “Hot in Here” by Nelly (Andrea: “It’s like my pelvis is attached to a string right to the stereo”); GoodLife membership; “frig off pecker”
– “Hero” by Chad Kroeger (Jeremy reminisces about being in the video; “Krogs knows his way around an ear-worm”; Kroeger’s “hit formula”)

Jeremy has tech issues with recording app

Discuss Letterkenny’s success; current state of Canadian comedy (Schitt’s Creek, Kim’s Convenience, Beaverton, etc)

Taggart kids “going ape” before March vacation to Collingwood

“Lightfoot Donates Lightfoot” – Gord donates a bust of himself; riding segways in his house with bowling alley

Donovan at Coachella “snorting sand” because “my cocaine” fell out of his pocket; “Daft Punk? More like Daft Pricks”; “Weeknd vs Weak Michael Jackson” discussion; “cornered the market for stripper, horny jams”; songs reference cocaine use; Donovan wants to work with “The Weeknd”

Canadian Tire Flyer – Lower or Higher game:
– 63L Nesting Tote or 75L Garbage Bags (x40)
– Men’s Wind River Spring Jacket or Men’s Wind River Rain Boots (discuss “step-in boots”)
– Bondic Liquid Welder or Premier Paint in Semi-Gloss Finish (“edu-tainment”; people tuning in for the first time)
– Denver Hays Men’s Polo or Dakota Men’s Gloves
– 4-Banger Moulinex Toaster or Ninja Blender

Jonathan does impromptu “Walk Up Guy” due to microphone feedback

Jay & Dan are returning to Canada!

Canadian Tire Flyer – Lower or Higher game:
– Metal Detector (the guy with the tilly hat) or Quest/K2 Winter Boots

Discuss Shanty Town kids show; Kids of Degrassi Street (when they crush darts) –> elementary kids smoking (“grade 5’ers crushing darts and having hickies—some cop kids”; “rough being tough…proving that they’re cool”; elementary school garbage restrictions; hot-.)

Grandparent nicknames: Scoodoo & Naynay; Beepbop; Nan & Bumpy; Kaizan & Dup-bop; Grandma & Gumps; Gumpy & Newnew; Nan & Bumpbumps; Gumpy & Naynay; Nanu & Danu; [laughter]; Nanu & Noni; Nono & Noni; Gamma & Gumba; GakGak & GorkGork (GorkGork Industries, “crazy expose sex”; “were any of your friend’s moms Stacy’s mom?”)

Jeremy tells story where party host plays hidden camera footage of himself having sex on the couch; girl from video shows up to party (“that’s like a triple whammy”); hotel room and family friend incidents where porn was put on as background noise

Discussion on about famous athlete roommate situations; wives/girlfriend hierarchy; attitude/work ethic; physical and mental ability; Avery the Agitator

Canadianity the Book – Drop Date October 17th; discuss the “behind-the-scenes” process of book publishing (copy editor, legal process, publicity department, marketing department, design department); “Band-Ins” book tour to be scheduled across the country (independent bookstore mafks in round glasses and cardigans, “low-key dinner crushes”); Available for pre-order on Amazon.

Hello game
– Jeremy: Working at the library during March break; 2nd day of being prank-called (“sounded like waking up from a nap Hello”; “Whispered bummed out”); Jonathan does same scenario (“it’s hard to sound whispery and angry!”
– Jonathan: Working at Ferndale Comet gas station at 2am on Friday night, slow night after 2-3 Red Bulls (“He’s fired up that guy!”; does it again — “He’s so sad!”); Jeremy pretends to be his brother, Jet, then Papa Doug (“Yellow!”; the guy that draws silhouettes of tools on the “mafk board” in the garage)
– Jeremy: New business “Pens n Things”, first phone call ever (“It’s so over-zealous, you need to work on your greeting a little bit”; Jeremy does it again — “he butchered it”); Jonathan does same scenario twice

In the Booth with Donovan & Patrick Swayze (“why don’t you put down the fag and get in the booth”; “She’s Like the Wind” with “she=cigarettes”)

Jonathan was in an 80s cover band “Should’ve Been Gones” with Mike Smith; listen to “Oh Sherrie” by Steve Perry “Steve, I want the opening to acapella, but big and wet, so what if we shoot it in a leaky church basement so it’s big and wet… I want to feel like someone’s sprayed my face with your saliva.”; try “could’ve been gone; would’ve been gone; can we try might have been gone then; if only she would’ve been gone, yeah?; could’ve been, should’ve been gone; shoulda, woulda, coulda been gone, yeah”

Discuss bad Bush lyrics: Glycerine “I’m never alone/I’m alone all the time/Are you at one
Or do you lie/We live in a wheel/Where everyone steals/But when we rise it’s like strawberry fields” (Jeremy – “what the fuck is going on there?”; Jonathan doesn’t like artists borrowing lyrics from other famous songs – “bad news bears”) = #worstlyricever

Jonathan excited for Oilers making playoffs; Jeremy excited for Matthews, Marner, & Nylander

Jingles Game (on-the spot jingle to the selected music for random business/product)
– Jeremy: Terry’s Clam Hut (“What the hell’s the name of this place again?… We are giving away buckets of fried clams at Teddy’s.” Jono: “I don’t know why that brought me so much joy…”)
– Jonathan: Darryl’s Drone Shop (“Are you Drone Alone?” Jono: “that was terrible!…that was outer spacey music, wasn’t it?” [Jere laughs])
– Jeremy: Carpet Diem Furniture Warehouse (you can buy carpets or suits, dance floor, RVs?!”)
– Jonathan: Hello, Goodbye Retirement Community (“How old are you? Have you ever wondered if you’re a burden to your family?… There’s an entire community of people just like you who are starving for people to talk to and are looking for attention. When you say goodbye, we say hello!” Jono: “it felt kinda mean”)

Donovan coaches Patrick by encouraging him to imagine a mosquito buzzing in his ear. “I think we’ve got it!”; Donovan mentions “We used to pitch a tent back in the day… on sheep shit”, reference camping in Keith Richards’ hotel room

Jonathan’s abdominal pain “extended to one of my berries… like someone took an aluminum Louisville slugger right to my nads and it rang like a church bell”; unsure if he could fly home from San Diego; considered worst case scenarios; “strapped on a helmet and surfed the Advil all the way home”; hospital visit results in kidney stone diagnosis, Morphine, & Toradol. The “ku-klux-klan hat” to catch the stones when they come out; the stone “wasn’t a grain of sand” but “half a peppercorn”; “does it come out in pee, or could if you loaded it out?”; “2 wee peppercorns in the load”; “now we can say we both opened for The Stones”; “I was looking for the grain of sand, not pebbles and bam-bam”

Juno Awards Debrief: cutting off Paul Langois; Russell Peters’ joke about underage girls; Taggart kids’ controlled the remote; Gord Downie won songwriter award; Jim Cuddy crushed “motown” with Arkells, who are crushing it; Timbo’s having a kid

Jingles Game, part 2 (singing advertisement over jam)
– Jonathan: Radio Shack (rapping… “that was brutal!”)
– Jeremy: Dolls ‘n’ Things (“you like dolls, I like dolls”; [Jono giggles] “Who wants to go to Dolls ‘n’ Things?! That’s the worst ad, ever!”)
– Jonathan: Darryl’s Denim (“I’m gonna speak then sing the jingle at the end.” Sings “It’s Darryl’s Denim Depot, it’s where you get the jeans. It’s Darryl’s Denim Depot, everyone’s got the means.”)
– Jeremy: Terry’s Auto (Terrible singing. “How greasy!”)

Hall & Oats on a Pontiac Feiro advertisement from the 80s; Oats sprawled out –> Greasy Cars from the past: Chrysler 600 that talked, Vega “a real piece of shit that barely went up the hill… like a Pinto”, Chrysler Cordoba (“Doors were 6 feet long & 40lbs; Steering wheel to front of the car was about 7 feet”), Cadillac (“you’d sail over bumps), Brown Aries K-car. Jeremy had a ‘68 442, liked LeBaron coup, the Feiro. Jonathan always wanted a 1979 Smoky the Bandit Trans-Am with the bird on the hood, Jeep Wagoneer “woodies” or a big Bronco from the 70s or 80s. Donovan would drive a new car every couple of months “Masaratis only… or sporty Bentley”

Reflect on the bahds who weighed in on kidney stones (big marbles = bonkers; “ever get hit in the head with a bag of marbles?”)

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Makin’ the Playoffs” jams (Jonathan debates whether he should fly out to Oilers game 1; “Battle of Pal-berta”)
– “Alberta Bound” by Gordon Lightfoot (Bernie – Flames fan (Jere) & Gord – Oilers fan (Jon0). Road trip for play off game. “Ever since I spilled a hot tea on my horn at Tim Hortons in Orillia, I kinda bypass the place because I have sense memories that take me back there… pretty sure that’s how I got kidney stones.”; “What do you have in there, the tears of Bruce Cockburn?”; Gord “take a pull” of raspberry moonshine after 17 years – “Sweet lamb of god does that ever take the edge off, just don’t tell the new little wifey that i was on the liquor!”)
– “Roller” by April Wine (Chath (Jono) & Benson (Jere). Bouncers at a club. “We need to watch out for these nutjobs trying to sneak in here with liquor on them, even if that means you have to give them the business on the undercarriage”; “Don’t be afraid to cup the bag”; “I caught a guy trying to smuggle a hoagie between the cheeks.”)
– (People were fired up Grandparents nicknames. Winners: Moo & Fluffy)
– “Heat of the Moment” by Asia (Sebastian (Jono) & Randall (Jere); Habs & Rangers fans. Place a wager ($40usd = $75cad); “Hank is gonna show everybody he’s a better goalie than Carey Price.”; “Hanks, but no Hanks.. Wait until you see Carey Prices in the net”; Canadiens will make GorkGak choking noise in 2nd game)
– “Feels Like the First Time” by Foreigner (Christopher – Bruins fan (Jere) & Bonnie – Senators fan (Jono); “I liked it better when you could smoke in the rink”; “I’ll call you loser is what I’ll call you, cause you’re not gonna beat my Sens, yaknow.” Bonnie complains about no-smoking rule at games; Chara “Should be kept in a cage…an animal.”; Marchand and Chara likened to a gorilla and its baby;)Jeremy describes “little guy who looks like Marchand” on Youtube, his friends videotape him getting all riled out. “Wet towel snapping mafk”
– (Metallica bassist’s 12-year old son goes on tour with Korn)
– “Stayin’ Alive” by Bee Gees (Zenith (Jere) & Larry (Jono); “Did you know that Ovi is Russian for “it’s over for the Leafs”; Selective Hearing Guy against any negative Leafs feedback; “Yellow!” to cut him off.)

Torrens’ Emoji Easter Egg hunt; Taggart family household revelations of knowing Santa isn’t real (“I’ve been using it to get things, but it’s been eating me up inside”; “Don’t tell the other kits”; “Don’t impregnate them with notions of doubt”)

Frankie Tomatoes menu with Vanelli brothers (yelling match “RELAX!”; Joe blacks out because he’s so worked up; [ongoing laughter])

Gork Gak the Ghost has its sexual way with people trying to give speeches
– Jeremy – Presentation to colleagues about company’s profits [Jono hyena laughs, “it’s so violent!”; both laugh hysterically. “It’s so high concept, it’s weird. I don’t know if I can top that.”]
– Jonathan – Reading a story to kids at the library
– Jeremy – Giving a toast to the bride (Jono hyena laughs again; “it’s the worst thing I’ve ever been a part of. it’s so offside”; both laugh hysterically)

Worst Lyrics Ever: Joan – “All I Wanna Do (Is Make Love to You)” by Heart; Mike – “Your Song” by Elton John; Gavin – “The Trees” by Rush; Rikki – “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie; Rhonda RickyBobby – “Butterfly” by Crazytown; Nintendo Friendo – “Song 2” by Blur; Forward Music Group – “Pinch Me” by Barenaked Ladies; Kenna Bosenberry – “You Pay Your Money and Take Your Chance” by Bruce Cockburn (“creeping sperm-like”); EJ – “Notorious” by Duran Duran; Paul Ladel – “Whoa is Me” by Down with Webster; Gavin Thomas – “Room Service” by Bryan Adams; Kyle Heatherington – “Africa” by Toto; Jonathan Daley – “Freak” by Silverchair; John Lucas – “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen; Leslie – “Sunglasses at Night” – Corey Hart; Daniel Ricks – “The War Song” by Culture Club; Steph Dunn – “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock; Linda Simpson – “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train; Julie – “Down in the DM” by Yo Gotti; Nancy – “Shape of My Heart” by Backstreet Boys; “phone blowin’ up where you is”, “it’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife”, “your first name is Free, your last name is Dom”, “I’m an undercover liar, I lie under the covers.” — Bruce Cockburn is the winner (& a turbo-bahd)

Discuss pheromones; “the smell of pumpkin gets you horny?” (Pump-kin = terrible incest joke);

Gork Gak arrives at WeDay. Jeremy – Key note speaker at MTS Centre in Winnipeg (“what’s happening”; “He’s ruthless, that ghost!”)

Discuss drum sticks, techniques, preferences; Jono can now play “Eat My Brain” by the Odds & the “Funky Cold Medina” by Tone Loc

Jono talks NHL Playoffs: “Leafs Fan is not in the top 100 words people would use to describe me”; Ovechkin “that mafk won’t go quietly”; Oilers games start too late for Jono.

TV Guide magazines; Jono was a clue! Jeremy “what’s with this kid know-it-all?”, remembers Jonovision being “on all the time”

Please Welcome Game:
– 1989 American Music Awards. Jonathan: (To present for best album: Polly Shore & Brenden Fraser; “Can’t you see those 2 idiots walking out on stage together?!”); Jeremy: (Milli Vanilli & Charlie Sheen); Jonathan: (Tiffany Amber Thiessen & Dustin Diamond; Connie Chung & Archbishop Desmond Tutu; Lonnie Anderson, Donny Osmond, & The Rockettes); Jeremy: (Natasha Henstridge, Neve Campbell, & Barry Pepper)
– 1997 People’s Choice Awards. Jonathan: (To present the award for best TV show: David Alan Griere, Pam Grier, & Richard Gere); Jeremy: (Stephen Yan, Bruno Gerussi, & David Caruso; ‘that’s terrible!”); Jonathan: (Mel Carter, Nick Carter, & President Jimmy Carter); Jeremy: (for best Actor in a Comedy series: Richard Moll & Richard Klein; “just a couple of dicks”); Jonathan: (To present the final award of the evening: Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, & Neil Patrick Harris). [“Henry, pipe down, bahd!’]
– 1998 Much Music Awards. Jonathan: (To present the award for album of the year: Norm Perry & Erica Ehm); Jeremy: (Kim Coates, Paul Gross, & Sean Cullen); Jonathan: (to present the award for Urban Single of the year: Stu Jeffries, Monika Schnarre, & Steve Podborski); Jeremy: (Ann Rohmer, Bryan Stemmle, & Ed the Sock); Jonathan: (Jackson Davies & Louis Del Grande); Jeremy: (Fergie Olver & Buck Martinez, & Ernie Whitt); Jonathan: (To present the award for Best Rap Album: Sandie Rinaldo & the Edison twins); Jeremy: (Edwin, Jeff Martin, & Mitsou); Jonathan: (Verne Troyer & Naomi Campbell); Jeremy (Jason Priestley & David Schwimmer); Jonathan: (“From Catwalk, that guy with the curly rock haircut” & Neve Campbell; Gaetan Boucher & Alanis); Jeremy: (The Cast of “You Can’t do that on Television”) –> Discuss Soul Decision; the “jammed” nature of Much Music’s video awards.

Arkells play Coachella; Jeremy shares behind-the-scenes festival/tour date experiences

Dart Guy = Leafs’ new mascot, desperate for a dart; “rang the bell of Canadianity”

“B-A-H-D” is taking off; CFL player tweet; Calgary Flames down 3-0 in series.

Jeremy reviews list of top Canadian celebrities; discuss importance of “making it here”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “On the Darts” jams
– “At this Moment” by Billy Vera (unspecified (Jere) & Bonnie (Jon0). Bonnie smokes cigarettes while at the Blue Jays game. “They’re gonna have to drag me outta here with a dart in my mouth”; “yaknow…”) – Bonnie is based off of Carole’s 90-year old aunt, on the darts. “maybe they’re fine…”; “she’s got character, she’s an original!… just a small one…”
– “Evil Ways” by Santana (girlfriend (Jono) & Calvin-employee (Jere) at Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt shop (rant). Irritable, resentful girlfriend. “You cannot smoke, ma’am;” “Oh, really? ‘Cuz I read the fine print and it says if you’ve been stuck with your new boyfriend’s kids for 48 hours now, you actually can!”; “You know what kinda frozen yogurt you should try is the new flavour you should try: the shut ups.”) (discuss how twitter works)
– “Diana” by Paul Anka (Alec (Jono) & Garold (Jere) in North Bay hospital waiting room following work-place injury; Crass, impatient waiting game. “staple a pansy to your wrist if you don’t suck it up”) (discuss pain meds – “Vikies”; “Vike-ride”)
– “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon (Connie (Jere) & Connie’s boyfriend (Jono) at musty cottage. “Paula McDartney”; “I’d mount Chevy Chase!”; Strained couple banter. “that’s like wrinkly skin on KFC, put it away!”)
– “Just Between You & Me” by April Wine (Justin Bieber (Jere) & Donovan (Jono); Biebs brags about his car collection, wants to cover this song. “You’re not listening to me, lad… take your cigarette and get out of the car!”; Donovan = Mel B voice)

Colleen admires Salvador “It was like he had xray eyes… undressing me with his mouth”; while chirping Jere Bear “I didn’t know you couldn’t do more than one thing at once”; “Grown man-baby that can’t do his own laundry”

Gino & Joe argue instantly; intend to play music from Joe’s record. Joe faints from getting “too worked out”; Gino asks to “splash Brio in his face”

Andrea & Laramie concerned about the one single bed; encounter Giuseppe (“you’re not Pinnochio’s father, are you?”) and Donovan in the hallway (“you’re a queen”); Laramie gets excited and introduces himself to Donovan who name drops (“Eltie, Eric Clapton, B4-4,… tool”; “You’re kind of a tool, Laramie); Giuseppe bursts into painful Enigma singing after hitting his head.

Donovan brags about changing “Failing” to “Sailing” = success; Christopher Angry = Christopher Cross. Salvador arrives and offers to further assist Andrea (“Are you certain there’s nothing I can put my hands on for you?”); Gary Lake encounters Andrea & Laramie in the hallway.

Micah, working at Orange Julius, recognizes Laramie from Wrench with the Rickenbacker Bass; gives deal on a drink with a resort fee, international waters tariff, plus gratuity. Misspelled name “Mika”

Fatburger Lady takes order for Gary Lake; “LARGE COCK… This man has a large cock! Do you want some PIE? Can I get a piece of pie for the man with the large cock? No pie for the man with a large cock! Gary Lake has a large cock.”

Wolfman Jat encounters Bonnie to share a couple darts and scotch. “I got fire, if you got the fireplace”; “Come on, baby, light my fire…”; “You’re my kinda girl, Bon”; “I haven’t felt this excited about a new partnership since I discovered Tide pods”; “Ya’know”; Wolfman avoids being seen by Jere Bear by crawling under Bonnie’s dress. “It’s a strange sensation when you exhale under there”; “You have a nice, soft side stomach”; “That’s ringing the old summer bell.” = foreplay with Wolfman & Bonnie. “Settle down, Pavlov’s dog.”

Gino & Joe are sharing a room. “You got the Barry Trotz, or you’re sea sick!” Joe throws up, argues with his brother. Brainstorm options as to how they’re going to play the gig.

Andrea complains that Laramie is playing bass instead of hanging out. “Pick your drink up, pick your arse up and let’s go relax!”; Andrea overhears Joe with the “diarrhe-0”. Gino introduces himself, asks Laramie to fill in. “I couldn’t help but hear in-between bursts of diarrhea that you were playing the bass.” 5.5 hour sound-check. Laramie ditches Pirate dinner with Andrea.

Five for Fighting show to feature the Fat Burger lady; Enigma show is bound to “get people frisky”.

Bernie & Gord show up for the Gino Vannelli show, admire Laramie’s fretless bass. “That bass player is lit A-F, as the kids say”; ditch the show to go to Popular Girl: “Horny Tart” – “I’ve seen worse things with these look-balls”; “Tanned Murray”; “Harry-ana Grandes & Lady Gag-her”; Gord’s male stripper name would be “Organ Lightfoot”; “Billy Lotion & Bahd Stewart”; Face-Timed by “new little wifey”

Bri-Ashley gets lectured by dad, runs into Salvador. ‘It’s like lady fate guided me to your face.”; “I’ve created my own white spot in my trousers, again. I’m excited to see your face”; “Get lost, ya jerk!”

Jere Bear discusses getting drunk with Lifehouse. “Can’t stand another moment with Colleen!”

Shirtless Salvador delivers chicken, asparagus and pumpkin pie to Crunch Crunch Crunch guy, who is confronted with Gork Gak.

Wolfman Jat & Bonnie enjoy some post-coital tenderness. “Bruno Sure-Juicy”; Bonnie admits to liking motorcycle rides; Wolfman “doesn’t like to use protection”; Bonnie looks like “a cute Pete Rose…”

Gary Googodame & Hudson, his Caddy continue to bicker; Steven Page has an acapella show, singing “Caribbean Queen”, joined by Brad Roberts from Crash Test Dummies.

All the cruise guests become ill with stomach aches: “Can I take my break, I have to have to take a Number 2!” Boat sinks due to too much bathroom usage at once.

Debrief the Cruise Ship episode. Bonnie sounds like Wayne Ronstadt. (“Maybe she’s Wayne’s aunt!) “Speaks with rhythm and cadence of a newscaster.” Jono shares memory of StreetCents “On the Road Again” parody with Wayne Ronstadt wearing snowy boots into someone’s house. Jonathan does Linden MacIntyre impersonation “tight curls” and “curdled milk”, “hamburgler” from the “5th Estate”.

Update on Canadianity book. “It’s a Page-Turner Overdrive.” Jonathan sings as Steven Page. Discussions around the artwork.

Cruise Ship debrief continues. “The most high concept thing we’ve ever done.” Audience reminded of Andrea met Joe Vanelli on “Plenty of Fishes” previously. Bonnie and Wolfman Jat’s friskyness was a hit. Gord and Bernie’s night out criticizing Gino Vannelli’s performance. Bon Jovi avoids doing high notes – “Who wants to hear that?”; Toto’s background singers get way up there, lead singer doesn’t bother anymore – re-writes all of the band’s developed songs: “How small is your cock, bahd, to be throwing out lines like that?” “What a douche!”

Jeremy talks about failed collaboration with Kardinal Offishall; Akon is saving Africa with LED lights and thinks “Letterkenny is lit AF”; reflect on 08 jams. “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it” by Beyonce. “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston. “Love in the Club” by Usher. “I Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas.

“We’ve got 107 hours of burlin!”; discuss the possibility of meeting Bernie. “S just got real!” Invited to introduce Bruce Cockburn at Mariposa Festival. “Right on…”

TnT Confrontations Game: Re-enactment of artists unimpressed with the TnT podcasts: (Bruce Cockburn, Steven Page has hurt feelings, & Brad Roberts “You guys are full of shit and I just got no time for you” Jeremy bellows like Brad when he’s mad)’ Both sing the lowest notes possible like Gregorian chant; timing each other for longest Brad Roberts’ “Aww-off”. Both laughing. “I could’ve gone longer but it was so fucking stupid;” “What a terrible sound!”; Discuss famous “suck-in/inhale yells”; Jonathan appreciates a group of people gasping unanimously.

Discuss public confrontations and altercations. Jeremy tells story of being on mushrooms in White Rock, BC. “Group of debauched teens… beyond madness testosterone assholes.”; Jonathan described “wayward drifters curb-stomp a guy.”

TnT Confrontations Game (con’t): Allan Frew at golf tournament, Peter Garrett at hotel buffet

LYTE FM Djs Laura & Olivia. “I like Yard Saling”; discuss their crush on James Blunt.

Bailin’ Game: (Getting busted in uncomfortable social situations)
– Cineplex Movies: Jonathan attends movie with Tim after turning Jeremy’s plans down, sees Jeremy who is there on his own. (Jonathan takes Mr. Brightside approach. “This is awesome.”)
– Joe & Gino Vannelli: Gino had tickets to an event, takes a girl instead of Joe. Joe blows it up. (“You don’t get laid enough?”)
– Book Club: Janice (Jeremy) can’t make book club by saying he wasn’t in town. Theraza (Jonathan) sees Janice at bakery while getting snacks for book club. Janice eats pumpkin squares while blogging. Gork Gak attacks!
– Dorm Bros: Handle-bar/Beard/Tank-Top Fest –> Vice Blogger Beard Fest. (Discuss NHL Draft name list = no normal names included). Kang (Jonathan) and Romulous (Jeremy) unable to go to the music fest because Rombo spent money, didn’t get tickets. “Literally, I don’t even know what you’re saying with your mouth to my ears right now…”

Jonathan’s family update: Sugar Daisy’s class is doing a dance at the Spring Concert to Burlin’ the Log Driver’s Waltz; visited the ‘real-life’ Bonnie who has a Blue Jay living in her alcove – “Hey Jose, ya’know…” —> Discuss Kevin Pillar’s 2-game suspension

Jeremy & Tim Oxford went golfing with older gentleman, Walter (“like 87”); suction cup lougies; Walter’s lost hat and muffled complaints “I can’t hit a shot without my hat!”; “everything was a fight with this guy”

Jonathan’s CBC Canada Day special. Slappy The Trivia Beaver. “Slapping strangers across the face with a beaver tail coated with whipped cream.”; “I love the Bahd-ness”

Canada Day festivities overview in Franglais–> Micah makes a quick appearance, wants to go to MMM-Muffins; “just be my friend, that’s all I ask!” = Micah might be Colleen’s son, Jere-Bear is a jerk to Micah; Debrief the possibility that they slept together on the cruise. Jono – “I’ve BEEN Micah.”

Jingles Game = “Spot on the Spot”
– Jeremy: Andy’s Aquariums (Promotes octopus, moray eels, dog fish, monkey fish, tarantula fish, etc.)
– Jonathan: Daryl’s Donuts (“We’re giving away 11 donuts, with the purchase of every 3 dozen!”; Daryl is also a math major… “We’re here 1/8th of the time.”) – Jonathan’s Snuggie purchase backfires.
– Jeremy: Panago to “Panama” (Jono discusses costs for purchasing franchise businesses of The Keg or Panago; Jeremy uses a roadie to do the commercial; Jonathan takes his turn, “Tom Stevens, roadie to the stars” – “Pan-a-go-ho-ho-ho”, turns mathy again; “It’s been a slice!”)
– Jeremy: Aunt Sally’s Snackwich Cafe (Promotes organic, gluten-free snacks. “We love you, and you’re gonna love us!”; “She sounds so warm and inviting!”)
– (Jonathan awkwardly lies to remove himself from Sushi restaurant (“I was surprised at how hard it was to back out of the situation.”). “That was a real-life bail!”)
– Jonathan: Tunderin’ Tom’s Western Warehouse (Promotes good deals, Wrangler pants, cowboy hats, cowboy shirts, and chew. “Why don’t chew come down to Tunderin’ Tom’s Warehouse…”)
– Jeremy: Space Savers (anti-clutter business. “I’m outta spaaaaaaaace!!”)
– (Discuss May 24 plans. Kids’ soccer schedules. Mingling with other soccer parents. Soccer fees, paid coaching gigs. Recent popularity due to MLS connection.)
– Jonathan: Lavar’s Glasses (“Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses?”; re-started: “Girl, what’s that on your face?…. But don’t bring your boyfriend.” Mirrors on the floor, on the ceiling… “It’s my job to make sure you get something on your face that you like”). “What a grease-ball!”; Nervous looking boyfriends in the parking lot.

Jeremy shares about “the guy” who keeps the party going for musician (get drugs, after party, concierge for partying); talks about backstage antics, including Motley Crue’s “Kitty Litter”; Jonathan wonders if Josh Groban or Michael Buble participate; discuss DJ lifestyle with the USB stick

Discuss Tom Green’s dead raccoon antics on Mike Ballard show. “It was on-real.”; Jeremy’s Eric Andre show experience

Bonnie enjoys a dart while listening to music. (“ya’know”); “Gonna pour a small one, ya’know… just a snap of rye before dinner… No harm in a small one.”

Announce TnT leaving Newstalk1010 radio show; “we are slammed with all things TnT”; working on TnT TV –> “TurboBahd”

Jeremy plays 2010 Jam:
– “Fireflies” by Owl City (Jono loves the song for sentimental reasons)

Onslow Wrestling League (OWL): Every Sunday in Torrens’ household (Indigo -Pickalaya; “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift walk-in jam; Sugar Daisy – Sports Bra Fairy; Jonathan – The Great Dadu); make their own costumes; Jonathan found carved owl for trophy; Jeremy shares wrestling adventures with Anneliese (“I’m a barbarian” — “gives me a boot in the sack”)

Allan Frew & Brad Roberts are DJs on BNGR radio show (argue incessantly)
– “Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone” by Glass Tiger; Someday” by Glass Tiger; Diamond Sun” by Glass Tiger; “Mmmmm mmmmm” by Crash Test Dummies, “Animal Heart” by Glass Tiger (Torrens kids’ school concert sings Glass Tiger song)

Jeremy shares 80s musical preferences (records from 60-70’s rock, jazz, The Police, REM, U2); discuss “The Joshua Tree” album, Daniel Lanois, Stewart Copeland, Manu Katche, Peter Gabriel, meeting one’s heroes, Joey Ramone’s baseball card collecting.

Discuss which Canandian Bahds would be best for “book blurbs” for Canadianity book. #tntbookblurb

Jeremy plays 2010 Jam:
– “1901” by Phoenix (Discuss Hipster music festivals: “ticks n tats”, ________ lookin’ mafks at festival booths)

Gino & Joe Vannelli at the CHIN picnic; argue over shaken BRIO, play I-Spy Game; Joe passes out from anger again. “Maybe Joe has Seasonal Anxiety Disorder?”; “He takes the low road is an expression we don’t hear enough.”

Confirm receiving the Advance Reading Copies of Canadianity book; Lisa helping with last minute editorial/feedback.

Jeremy plays 2010 “Rainy Day” Jams:
– “Suburbs” by Arcade Fire (Burton (Jere) & Randy (Jon0). Bicker incessantly; “nobody wants to hear that story!”; “When I was in the Beatles…”; “This lying and going on and on about falsehoods is really starting to impact Guess Who’s career at this point”; Randy tells outrageous stories) – “They get along like soya and rice.”
– “Bloodbuzz Ohio” by the National (Laramie (Jere) & Andrea (Jono). Andrea trying to perk Laramie up: “I know it’s raining outside, but it can still be sunny in your heart!”; “They don’t make bandaids for the inside!”; Laramie paints his face like The Crow, avoids Andrea’s advances; “Crow up, bahd!”)

Jonathan visits Quebec; discusses all things Maple Syrup. “As long as they’re upright, you can tap them”; visited Trailer Guy’s “empire”.

Swapping booze out with lake water – “moose piss”

Taggart acquires a 4-seater “cycle styles” paddle boat and trampoline; discusses lake fishing – “Go Fig Newton”; Jonathan tries to explain “Why is the hook in the fish’s eye socket?!” to his “girlst”; crabbing in PEI – looking for dimes, “Crabsies!”

Jonathan finds feces in his lawn. “Shiny, size of a walnut, 3-4 of them”

“Get a Job” Game
– FatBurger Interviewer (Jeremy) and Gretchen McLuck/FatBurger Lady (Jonathan). “I’ve never seen such mastery!”; “Sounds like a horn… trumpet in the throat!”; “Jerm-a-therm”
– Trent (Jeremy) and Scott/Scooter (Jonathan). Long & McQuade job interview. Scott pumps his own tires, steamrolls the interview. “Fuck this guy!”; (“I love nerd music stuff”; “You’re such a gear-head!”)
– (Jonathan discusses his drumming development; YouTube songs–> Amazon takes over; bagged milk – “How do you pinch the tip?”; “You can tell when you have rat milk”, “we’re carton folks, here”; Shoppers is a grocery destination!)
– Bonnie (Jonathan) and Linden (Jeremy). Bonnie is hard of hearing (Linden=Linda, grass=ass). “I pay 10 cents/hour.” Jose attacks Linden.
– Kelvin (Jonathan) and Mr. Campbell (Jeremy). Mr. Campbell on the verge of dying at the hardware store. “I’ll pay you 10 dollars, but take your shirt off!”; “give me the works, kid?”

The Lost Rolling Stone interviews: Randy Bachman. Brags about Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, plaster-cast penis, early days of Guess Who, Chuck Berry, Portage Pete, Elvis, Taj Mahal, joining the Beatles, Jimmy Page, Keith Moon, Burton Cummings “likes to tell a tall tale from time to time,” Freddie Mercury “a bit of a diva when it comes to food,” Nelson Mandela, Salmon Rushdie, Paul Allen, Malala, Putin, Raquel Welsh, Cybil Shepherd, Angela Lansbury, J-Lo.

Discuss the cover for “Canadianity: Tales from the True North Strong & Freezing”; tour dates announced

Jeremy goes to the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) with Jack’s field trip. Trying to manage chaos (“librarian styles”) and the bus ride (“the pressed ham on the window… 80s style”); Torrens parents go to Macelmons Pond for field trip (the kid midway up the tree), camp ground & petting zoo.

Peanut-free schools; no trades allowed; lunch trash must be brought home.

Jonathan visited Alert, Nunavut; Carnivorous Arctic hares that are “up to your knees”; played Tuesday night ball hockey as goalie (“Trying to stack the pads and go all Gump Worsley on them mafks”); Frozen Chosen medal

“Listen/Look, I Wasn’t Born Yesterday” Game (Kijiji transactions)
– Old Woman/Mrs. Peterson (Jeremy) and Derek (Jonathan). Selling deceased husband’s car; $275 for 67 Chevy car = will pay $100 to take the car (“That was a train wreck, let’s start the next one”)
– Game used Donny Tretiak’s goalie stick for sale.
– IKEA storage unit for $40 in run down condition. Grumpy old man (Jeremy).
– Sentimental sale of push lawn mower with fake wheels.
– Overly critical buyer (Jonathan) for jam jars who is paranoid about perverts, who becomes assaultive.

Taggart’s spring-free trampoline. “It’s gonna be a bouncy summer in Taggart-ville”

“Chirps” Game
– Donovan (Jonathan) & Meatloaf (Jeremy) chirp each other in the booth.
– Joe (Jeremy) & Gino (Jeremy) Vannelli putting tomatoes in Mason jars.
– Bonnie (Jonathan) & Wolfman Jat (Jeremy) spending the weekend in a rented cottage but instantly begin bickering.
– Discuss hypothetical situations where Andrea might get upset.

“How old?” Game
– To walk along to school (12)
– To Babysit (12 or 14)
– For Sleepovers (not a fan)
– To have Own Phone or iPad (14) – Micah comes to visit Jeremy to wrap up episode

Bar-ell vs Beryl pronunciation; Jeremy’s dad has a Scottish/New York accent

Surprise visit planned for the Letterkenny guys to drop off new TnT Bahd gear

Sundae making party at the Torrens household for both daughter’s classes = parenting challenges (“I can be firm dad”; Jack is giving Jeremy the eye-rolls = hard to shut down – “okay geez…”; the “you don’t understand anything” sighs)

Indigo scores her first goal in soccer; “either you be aggressive or you’re gonna get bowled over”; Jack plays in competitive league

Overview of Book Tour and accompanying dates; debrief Jonathan’s Canada Day CBC special & dealing with “professional grumps” criticism

Andrea ‘n’ Laramie episode: Laramie is writing/rehearsing a new Wrench song “It’s 8:15 and the tambourine and I’m gonna go…”; Andrea doing squats while watching Jeopardy. “I’m just right curious about your process!”; “Do you have to feel sad if you’re gonna be right artistical?”; “I got his and hers chippies”

“Your fired” pottery studio. Jonathan loves pun business names: “Curl up & Dye” hair studio, “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow,” “A Cut Above the Best”.

Mr. Magic = Andrea’s dad?!?

Joyce (inspiration for Bonnie) turned 90 on Canada Day; feeds crushed cashews from Bulk Barn to blue jays, as they land on her head. “She’s a beaut… ya’know!”

“Shop or Sham” Game. #tntpunbusinessnames
– Jeremy: “Larger than Life” Plus Sizes clothing store = SHOP!
– Jonathan: Flower Shops “Austin Flowers” & “Florist Gump” = Both Shops!
– Jeremy: “The Organ Donor” keyboard rentals; “it’s so sick it must be a shop!” = it’s a SHAM
– Jonathan: Food stores – “Bread Pitt, Bread Zeppelin, Tom Shanks”; (Bread Pitt Bakery & Bread Zeppelin = Shops)
– Jeremy: “Gotfried Electric” = “it’s a shop!”
– Jonathan: “Pho’Shizzle” = “that’s a hipster shop”
– Jeremy: “Forced Dump Plumbing” = Shop! (“YOU’RE GOIN!”)
– Jonathan: “ThaiTanic” = SHOP!
– Jeremy: “Dead Sleep Mattresses” = “that’s a sham!”
– Jonathan: Computer shops “Bits & Pieces” and “Allan Cartridge” = Shops; “Camel Tow” = Shop (“Imagine the logo”)
– Jeremy: “Belt Buster Subs” = Sham!
– Jonathan’s speed round: “Java the Hut” = Shop; “Planet of the Vapes” = Shop; “Indiana Bones & the Temple of Groom” = Pet Shop; Jean Claude Van Man = Shop; “Sheerlock Combs” = Shops; “Pita Pan” = Shop; “Specs in the City” = Shop

“Alert! Alert! WE MET GORD! We had to report live from the field… As far as Canadianity goes, we’re swinging bells, bahd!”; Discuss hosting the Mariposa Festival & Bruce Cockburn’s set; Russ deCarle (lead singer from Prairie Oyster) hang out; “let’s talk about the Gord of it all” met Gord, his daughter, wife, & ex-wife. “That was the dangling carrot for me”; “That’s why were there, to be honest…”

New character clips:
– “Pester Pat” curses extensively when eating hot potatoes;
– Jere Bear & Colleen talk real-estate, Dora tents, ongoing sexual tension live on-air “Oh My Google”;
– Vape Guy gets reprimanded while on Tour of the Confederation Room on Parliament Hill “It’s Raspberry, it’s all good”;
– Zero Empathy Matthew plays with his dying grandmother’s bed

Jonathan goes to in-laws’ cottage, makes Mark Forward’s Coca-Cola ribs (“let the coca-cola just penetrate every pore of the ribs”), tows kids on the 4-banger tube; Aunt Joyce kicking soccer ball around – “smokin’ the snipes”

Taggart-Town updates with the trampoline, day camps, swimming

Intro to Crazy Beard Guy character [both laugh hysterically]. “CBGs”. Discuss how beards are mainstream. Jeremy finds crazy bearded vape guy at Pokemon convention – “he landed a double”; discuss vape smoke flavours “raspberry stench”

Jeremy shares his first drinking experience in a friend’s barn & pornography mags at age 7/8. (“His dad had classic stashe, sunglasses, feathered short hair, no shirt on, and jeans” on a dirt bike ride); Jonathan’s soccer coach makes up fake tournament to take boys drinking for the weekend at age 12; discuss concerns towards child molesters. “here’s a page turner from pervs…”

Shop or Sham Game finalists: Optimus Shine Carpet Cleaning, Doody Calls portapotty company, Brick Shirthouse, The Loan Arranger, Lawn & Order, Dump Loads on Us, Hair Force One, The AV Team, Tequila Mocking Bird, My Home Bay, Putting Edge, Aching Heads Drug Store, Grime Stoppers, Well Hung picture shop, Board Wok, RV There Yet?; Giuseppe answers phone for “Dump Loads on Us”

Jonathan misses Allan Frew on Mr. D; Shanelle meets him in Kitchener, gets a shout out for the bahds.

Jonathan & Carole saw Ed Sheeran in Montreal with James Blunt opening; Elton John has advice for Ed Sheeran

Jonathan adds “Tan on the Run” to the Shop or Sham game. Jeremy picks 3 winners at random: Justin – Hair Force One; Antony – Grime Stoppers; Carlo – The Loan Arranger

Jeremy’s kids are staying up past midnight; boys are having “tarps off parties”

Banter back and forth about running into Crazy Beard Guys

Jeremy plays “Axel F” by Harold Faltermeyer and “Carribbean Queen” by Billy Ocean while they discuss summertime plans

Jonathan has interest in buying the house across the street as a “block”, explore the “what if” worst scenarios: catapults of oil drums, ruining the lawn with pee/poo

Ronnie Hawkins’ house is for sale: “G0rd0n Lightfoot wrote “Sundown” there!”; “What’s he want fer dat?”; “$4.3 Million”; “The Graceland of Canada”; Discuss a Bahd Nation GoFund Me – a “Bahdist retreat”; Cockburn & Lightfoot write songs in “his and his cottages”; Gord gives Bruce Ecstasy for writing session

Jonathan googles his net worth, finds article claiming he’s “not gay” but rather “married, have 2 childrens;” “kissing pregnant woman, in state of welcoming baby”

“Seeing snakes” is the new “on the darts”; Jeremy gets poison ivy in Delaware; “not on my horn” but everywhere else! Steroids for 2 weeks to overcome it.

Miniature Ponies are playing Mr. D wrap party.

Ed from Barenaked Ladies reaches out to collaborate with TnT

Taggart family gets “Pomchi” dog, Rebel, for Anneliese’s birthday

Jonathan provides commentary for the “Hook” by Blues Traveler music video, awaiting Paul Schaffer appearance; Jeremy expresses his appreciation for The Odds.

Jeremy shares about the 3rd annual Stomp the Stigma golf tournament @ Summit Golf Course to raise funds for suicide awareness; Guests: Letterkenny bahds, Tim Oxford, July Talk, The Darcys, Jeff O’Neill, Michael Lansberg, Rob Black, etc; discuss the impact of suicide and depression, family members’ struggles. “It will get better… that’s the only thing we know to be true.”

Jonathan shares about re-connecting with Jerry Jarretts (junior high bully who dated the teacher), the repairing interaction 30 years later.

Jonathan shares frustrations with his vehicle, dealership diagnosis vs new “ride or die mechanic” Rick – “the car whisperer”. $7500 vs Free. (Fly Wheel, Clutch, & Transmission vs loose bolt on front tire)

Jonathan shares difficulties with internet provider.

Discuss upcoming September tour; shout out to Mike MacFarlane who uploaded tour information “turbobahd” who is “our internet guy because he likes to be… Bahd-i-cation”; share upcoming guests to tour dates: Jay & Dan in Toronto. Jono admits he has never met Jay & Dan in person. “it’ll be a hug fest!”; Jared Keeso in Montreal. Dylan Playfair & Tyler Johnston in Vancouver.

Logan Paul = YouTube Star; Coyote Peterson = nature show guy doing meet n greets – “Look there’s an alligator on my horn! It does hurt, but surprisingly not as much as you’d expect!”

Reflect on the success of Seeing Snakes, Fill & Donovan; Fill flies in from LA on the concord to help with “Hysteria” by Def Leppard. “It’s between you, and me, and the queen.”; “Maybe tasteful was the wrong direction… I think you should be busy. Let’s try busy. I want to hear you all over it, yeah?… We might as well throw everything at the wall, and see what sticks…”

Jonathan is reading Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland’s autobiographies

Torrens family vacations down south; saw Bruce Hornsby & the Noisemakers in L.L. Bean parking lot with poor sound system. “He rhymes job with job!”; Story of Bruce Hornsby & Allan Iverson playing 1-1 basketball; “He’s the only good Bruce…. Bruce is a verb for jerk!”

Shout out to Olivia Nancy Oxford. Tim & Sarah welcome their first child into the world. “super fun alert!”

Jay & Dan returning to TSN tonight.

Discuss the old technology available in Nova Scotia as rainstorms ruin Jonathan’s phone connection. Men in hip-waders bailing water.

Andrea & Laramie go to “Senior McGillicutties” restaurant. Mexican/Irish combo. “Some guys with sombreros and some guys with kilts.”; Gary the Leprechaun is the waiter. “Is he ever cute! It’s right cute to watch you talk with your little mouth.”; “He’s gettin’ right angry!”

“Why hasn’t Gino Vannelli done a commercial for Mrs. Vanelli’s?”; Salsbury Hill has to be retired as a movie preview jam. Coldplay’s “Clocks”, Jackson 5’s “ABC”, Snap’s “I got the Power”, New Radicals’ “You Only Get What You Give”, Len’s “Steal my Sunshine”, some Celine Dion. (Torrens’ family dance parties to Hornsby jams

Breaking News: Filming TnT TV pilot at the Lower Deck in Halifax.

“Wake me up when you get up” bahds who were hoping to golf together. Jeremy is a “don’t wake me up when you get upper”. Discuss hypothetical movie plots with “California Dreaming” by Mamas & the Papas playing in the background. “All about that Bass” by Meghan Trainor – “Wake me up before you go go” movie. “A couple of dunces.”

Jeremy gives Rebel update: the roll over, astro turf pee pads – “pisses on those on the reg”; tootsie rolls poops with the “pinched tips”. “He’s doin it all!”; Rebel got stung by a bee; “Henry got stung right on the hammer last summer.”; “Is Rebel gonna get the nip & tuck?” “Sack be gone, you mean?” “Ballapalooza?”; discuss Rebel’s “instinctual horniness”, “it’s not like an older dog doing the big energizer jackhammer.” “Yikers Island!”

Gord, Bern, Bruce, & Steven Page meet up in Bernie’s office. Gord, Steven, and Bruce sing “My Heart Goes On”; “Back at One” by Brian McKnight; “Smells like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana (“Nerdvana”); “Bernie, since when have you been in touch with what the kids want?” — “I bet that Bruce likes to get down!”

Indy has her first piano lesson; Sug has her first circus class; Anneliese has her first hip-hop dance class; Jeremy admits that he can’t dance. “It’s a vertical expression of a horizontal intention… that’s what dance is.”; Jonathan took ballroom dancing for 2 years.

“Condoms or No Condom” Game (Hideo Nomo = No Dome; People who have bothered to buy condoms, and people who have not)
– Humphrey Bogart – No Dome; John Mayer = Dome-o; Curly Howard = Never; The Weeknd – Dome-o; Charlie Sheen – “seems like he’s not the most thoughtful”; Gary Busey – “never bought Jimmy hats” (“I had a friend refer to his bird as a smurf house”); Donald Trump – “hideo… never bought one in his life. Ripe with syphilis and whatnot”
– “I went Hideo last night, boys.”

Discuss concerns with TnT TV “ruining a good thing”. Hoping to enhance the vision and bring life to several of the characters.

Donovan asks Fill to contribute to “Together Forever” by Rick Astley; “Hey Fill? FANKS!”

Faux-bia or No-bia Game
– Globophobia: “Fear of Globes?” = Fear of Balloons (real)
– Jonathan shares about his fear of mice; story of mouse running circles around his mom’s rope belt dress; Jeremy used to be creeped out by spiders.
– (“Henry, pipe down, bahd”.) Jeremy debriefs the “It” movie; Carole brings home Ruffles Salt n Vinnies – “Chipies! Chipies!”, eating “Unskinny Pop” while watching the Bachelor.
– Bacholophobia: “Fear of being single?” = Fear of the Bachelor (fake)
– Paptophobia: “Fear of tap dancing?” = Fear of paper towel (fake)
– Equinophobia: “Fear of horses?” (real)
– Gynophobia: “Fear of gynecologists?” = Fear of women (real)
– Nadentiphobia: “Fear of dentures?” = Fear of brushing your teeth (fake) – “no denties”
– Pogonophobia: “Fear of pogo sticks?” = Fear of beards (re-enact noises one would make in the presence of beards)
– Ranidaphobia: “Fear of running?” = Fear of frogs (real)
– Coasterphobia: “Fear of coasters?” = Fear of drink coasters? = Fear of roller-coasters (real) (Jeremy is afraid of heights, avoids dropping sensations; Costa Rica zip-line adventures)
– Disposaphobia: “Fear of garbage?” = Fear of getting rid of stuff (real)
– Apiphobia: “Fear of flies/aphids?” = Fear of bees (real)
– Ofideophobia: “Fear of insects” = Fear of seeing snakes (fake)

Wolfman Jat visits Bonnie after losing his job. “Did you get an invitation to a pity party at this address?”; “I forgot that my house was at the corner of Poor and You”; “I could use my bush whacked…”; “I could also use some seed planted.”; “I could toss your salad”; “If you could fix my bird house, that would be great.” Jat has fear of birds, meets Jose the Bluejay.

Jonathan was guest on Major’s Mess Hall podcast, was asked “which TnT character do you like the best?”; “Deep down, Andrea is my ride or die.” Jeremy chooses Joe Vanelli.

Discuss first bands, gigs as teenagers. Jeremy discusses his historical affiliation for drumming and lineage, shares his father’s disappointment that he didn’t pursue baseball

Breaking News: Venue Switch because of high demand for TV show taping.

Ed contacted TnT, requested “Canada Day” premiere on the podcast.

Celebrity Lifeboat Game (which one would you save?)
– Frank Stallone vs Frank D’Angelo (Jonathan saves D’Angelo because he’s Canadian; Jeremy smoked a joint with Frank Stallone in LA)
– Jay-Z vs Jay Onrait (Jeremy picks Onrait; Rebel is running around “goin’ crazy”)
– Sean Lennon vs Sean Cullen (Jonathan chooses Cullen)
– Jim Carrey vs Jim Cuddy (Both choose Jim Cuddy; Carrey got “splooshed”)
– Pat Sajak vs Pat Borders (Jonathan chooses Sajak but expresses concern towards him being “vaguely racist”)
– David Bowie vs David Spade (Jeremy picks “Bowie for sure, even though he’s dead”; “If there was only David Spade, I’d throw him in the water.”)
– John Lithgow vs John Cougar Mellencamp (Jonathan leans towards John Cougar; “you know he’s a tyrant, right?”)
– Steve Nash vs Steve Perry (Jeremy goes with Nash)
– Gino Vannelli vs Gino Reda (Jonathan wants to stay on the sinking ship to let both of them on; leans towards saving Vannelli; Jeremy picks Reda)
– Jennifer Lawrence vs Jennifer Aniston vs Jennifer Love Hewitt (Jeremy chooses Aniston)

Donovan produces “Janie’s Got a Gun” cover with Gordon Lightfoot, Steven Page, & Fill

Donovan discusses all of the musical artists “on the Gak”

Jonathan’s Nunavut vacation with father-in-law; “eclectic salad of wanderers”; “all about the hang”; Daniel with the Yellow Jeep, ate Caribou fat; lots of ingenuity out of necessity; generally it’s a “dry community”; “it’s bone chilling”

Jeremy shares stories of Aaron Lewis with his baby Bjorn; Jonathan sings Staind songs

Deep dive into “Soul City” by the Partland Brothers; Play “What’s he driving?”; Review Discography; discuss how they are now backing Ronnie Hawkins

Ed Robertson’s Trivia Question: What Canadian artist did teen-aged Ed Robertson stand in line outside the Danforth Music Hall for in hopes of being on the music video?

Jonathan remembers “Barely Clothed Men” band that played on Jonovision

Chickity China Game: Both attempt to rap the verse; laugh over “boom anime babes”

Ed Robertson premieres Barenaked Ladies’ new song “Canada Dry”; “contender of the most Canadian song ever” features Jim Cuddy and Alan Doyle

Jeremy references the “The Old Hide House – Worth the drive to Acton, ON”; review online reviews and “also searched”. “Where can I get a belt, a casket for Nan, and a quick 18?… That raises so many questions.” Play Youtube commercial clip. Both laugh while practising commercial introductions.

TnT TV debrief, continued: Jeremy spills ice water on his crotch. “It went all the way down, ice water to my butt, it just burled and wrapped around.” Bahd Box full of costumes & props (ie: wigs, headbands, glasses). Discuss ideas to improve/sustain the show for future episodes.

Bonnie’s voice seems to be evolving to become more gravelly. Jono admits that it sounds like Wayne Ronstadt. “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining, ya’know.”; references Wolfman Jat’s hairy sausage fingers and vest from Old Hide House.

Jeremy received first copy of finished Canadianity book. “It’s perfect!”; Jere needs to get business cards with “Pitcher, Drummer, Author – PDA, bahd”

Jonathan talks about his “innate homing pigeon device”, how he shuts things down early. Jere shares examples of people bailing on band practice/recording sessions. “Something probably happened, whatevs”

Jeremy attended Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame induction, shares thoughts on Neil Young and his humility, current relationship status, whether he was wearing LuLu Lemons, etc. Bruce Cockburn, Bernie, Randy Bachman, The Arkells were in attendance. Jere hung out with Tim Oxford, discusses behind the scenes planning of the event;

Jeremy gets call informing of Dad’s heart attack = COPD lung infection with seizures; discuss his siblings’ response, next steps for his care, overwhelming nature of elderly deterioration. Jono reflects on his own mother’s circumstances.

Scenario: Purolator worker, Curt & his friend, Reggie. “What’s up, Big Nuts?”; Andrea encourages Curt to “get his confidence up”; “Ever Handsome! Are you kidding me, Supermans? Friggen’ good lookin’ guy underneath all that nerd stuff?”

“Headlines or Head-Lie?” Game
– Austin Powers movie leads to “Bee-Hive” hairstyle popularity (“Oh Be-Hive”)
– Teenage Pregnancy drops off after 25
– State population to double by 2040; Babies to Blame
– Homicide victims rarely talk to police
– Copes making arrest in bathroom, after smelling crack
– Obese woman dies in fire, legs split open like hotdogs
– One-Armed man applauds kindness of strangers
– Chick accuses male colleagues of sexism
– Condom truck tips, spills load
– Man kills co-worker for popping bubble wrap for 2 hours
– A’s hole, keeps getting deeper
– City unsure why sewer smells
– Midget sues grocer for belittling remarks
– Erection of cock statue on Tuesday
– Hooker named indoor athlete of the year
– Local child wins gun from fundraiser

Jeremy connected with Bernie at event after party; debriefed Bernie’s awareness of the “Gord & Bern” sketch on TnT; Bernie appreciates it and “gave his blessing”; Guess who Bruce Cockburn is dating (Raven; Courtney Cox; Soleil Mon Frye; Pamela Wallin; Hilary Clinton; Linda Hamilton; Carling Bassett-Seguso; Jerry Hall) = “No Way!” –> Bruce Cockburn Matchmaker = Susan Sarandon; Vicki Gabereau –> “Isn’t that _______ that Bruce Cockburn is with?”: Vanna White; Catherine O’Hara

Jeremy discusses tour bus preferences: the middle bunk is “the best chance at sleep”; falling out of a bunk; bunk hierarchy; avoidance of engine & tire noise; watching Game of Thrones alone –>“having a wank”; crew guys are “lifers… they’re like sex pirates”; Refers to Motley Crue’s “Kitty Litter” under the stage; Dave Matthews’ bus release over Chicago bridge; Tide Pods = sewage tank; “No Shitskis, No Problem”

Discuss Connor McDavid and whether or not he’s the BEST; “the fastest, forsure”

Discuss the conflict between sports and politics–> racial issues, avoidance of White House invite, role of national anthem in live sports, police brutality, Donald Trump’s delusions of grandeur and narcissistic tendencies. “It takes nads to do what Colin Kapernick has done on and off the field”

Gord & Bernie discuss their next leather purchases from the Old Hide House. Gord finds old cassettes and 8-tracks, pitches some cover tracks. Sings “Sex & Candy” by Marcy Playground, “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain, “3AM” by Matchbox Twenty, –> “Santana is greasier than taint gravy. I wouldn’t touch even touch that with my ten inch pole!”; “Wonderwall” by Oasis. Bernie brags about Bruce’s new single. “I Miss You” by Lisa Loeb

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Big Change: Fall” jams
– “Me & Julio Down By the Schoolyard” by Paul Simon (Loretta (Jere) & Bonnie (Jon0). Work together to sort closets, reference new Sorel boots. Bonnie has unsettled stomach, doesn’t want to veer too far “from the throne” following previous night’s burritos. “Trouser Chutney”) –> “The Top 5 Don’t Go In There” jams. Jonathan ponders when “poop” became socially acceptable.
– “Bennie & The Jets” by Elton John (Devin (Jere) & Straton (Jono). 2 bahds playing video games. Devin needs to use the Poo-Pourri because it smells so bad even with the door shut. “My eyebrows are curling dude”.) Jonathan explores whether Jeremy feels comfortable using public restrooms. “I’m not gonna dump my demons on the 5th floor of Eatons… It’s more emergency circumstances…”; Jeremy provides sound effects of pooping with “water splashing around the bowl… Pearl Harbouring the can…” [Jeremy laughs hysterically]
– “Will You Remember Me” by Jann Arden (Leanne (Jono) & Ganga (Jere). College roommates argue about hogging the bathroom. “Hey Fann Arden, can you open the window, please?” “I only ate cheese!!!”) Jono asks how this episode became SPOO-Tacular?! ; Jeremy is annoyed with Rebel barking at his own reflection – “ZIP IT REBBIE! Button up!”; Discuss upcoming Canadianity morning TV shows, House of Strombo, Q, and live shows; Discuss book release anxiety, writing process.
– (Jeremy references his lake-pooper friend; “these are people that don’t have names but that have good imprints on our memories”)
– “Golden Years” by David Bowie (Foggy (Jere) & Margaret (Jono). Older couple take the “last swim of the year” in the cold lake. “Give me the bar of soap!”; “Should we go inside and explore each other’s bodies from stem to stern?”; “Is the fish stew almost ready…. don’t chafe your manhood!”; “Look closer Foggy, your member is bleeding!”; “I cut my horn open on the can opener!… Holy Boats!”) Jeremy shares about taking a Cialis pill at a party = got headache, 3 hour hard-on. “Cheers to ankles and ears”.

Discuss Tom Petty’s passing; his family’s frustration about early reporting; both are bummed that they didn’t get to see him live. Jere plays live version of “Alright For Now” from Full Moon Fever album.

Donovan and Fill in the studio. Fill drinks magic tea. “I want you to make the sounds that you’re feeling… Not words, sounds!… Is that the devil in your brain?” Fill makes random noises, takes clothes off, and wonders why he’s sweaty, scratched up, with a sharpie in his bum. “Don’t have a panic attack… just relax, yeah?” –> Real-Life Donovan seen on the highway driving 2-door Mercedes with frosted tips, “like if you dipped an Olson twin in desperation.”

Recap of “crazy couple of weeks” with the Canadianity book tour. London Comic-Con with Joey Jeremiah & Snake crushing darts, seeing “the SHAT”, big line-up of bahds, great level of buy-in “flying some sort of flag”, Comic-Con does not discriminate”, met Mick Foley; Jere BnB; Visited with Steve Anthony; E-talk, Your Morning, Global Morning, Q with Tom Power (who played “Hit the Post” with “Enter Sandman”)

Rebel goes “ape shit” with construction clothes guy trying to sell stuff at the door.

Continued recap: House of Strombo (Lyric or Lie, Plot or Not, House full of bahds, played jams); Jere shares about his specialized travelling drum kit; Maestro and Steven Page show up at Strombo’s win; Maestro refers to Chilliwack song: “My dong, dong, dong, my dong’s so long”; Jay & Dan show; initial reader feedback; Discuss live show guests (Toronto: Dan O’Toole & Stefan Brogren, found out about Gord Downie’s passing, few days after John Dunsworth’s passing; Tim-bo & Nathan Dales played “Blank Lookin’ Mafk”; Montreal: Jared Keeso; Ottawa: “people were banged up before we got on stage, all in from the get-go,” the heckler yelling “My Wife” Borat quote/wanting to participate); Saturday night off in Montreal @ a Steak House

Strombo informed Jonathan of John Dunsworth’s passing. Jono reflects on his relationship and time spent on Trailer Park Boys (Mr. Leahey never actually drank; was a sincere family man). Describes the conflict of not wanting to speak out of turn, de-rail book promotions. Discuss 40-50 years worth of community involvement, ran for MLA, outspoken around VLT addiction. Started scouting agency, modelled professionalism and dedication to his acting. John lived his life “just to see”, fully present and playful.

Contrast the highs of book release with the lows of the losses. Found out about Gord Downie’s passing while at the Air BnB in Toronto. Jeremy reflects on the significance of Gord’s death, feeling like “family.” Gord inspired Jere to “get into the lyrics.. they made you think and broaden your horizons”. Expected death but similarly shocking, “blanket of grief.” Commitment to “not shy away from hard stuff”. Suresh from Mr. D described the show as a “Eulo-joy”. Mike Clattenburg shared positive insights on both men. Jere shares about his connection to Paul Langois, Hip bandmates, and Downie family. Live version of “Long Time Running” ends episode.

Discuss music videos with celebrity cameos (“Hero” with Jennifer Love Hewitt & Mickey Rourke, “Girl on TV” by Lyte Funky Ones, “I Drove All Night” by Ray Orbison, Corey Hart’s video with Kenny Aronff, “Miserable” by LIT (blonde pineapple hair guy))

Canadianity Book is #4 is on Canada’s bahd best-seller list; discuss excitement around the book tour and appreciation for “OG Book destinations”; Jeremy reflects on old-school music/record stores (ie: Sam the Record Man)

Share about the twitter employee that put Donald Trump’s account offline briefly; “he’s loosin’ it!”; “I hope they keep that guy away from any kind of nuclear codes!”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Jammie” jams
– “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell (Curt (Jere) & _____(Jon0). 2 friends debriefing their rough night. “What’s goin on, big nuts?, “You slept in sawdust and went face down in chicken wing bones!”, Curse has a nut allergy and was “pounding nuts all night” = hives everywhere)
– “The Loco-Motion” by Kyle Minogue (______ (Jere) & Seth Fischa (Jono). Discuss girls from The Hide House working at the House of Lancaster strip joint.)
– “The Gambler (remix)” by James Radford (Intrusive guy (Jono) & Bri-Ashley (Jere). Guy intrudes on Bri-Ashey’s jam, questions as to why Salvador is still contacting her on Social Media.) Jeremy makes fun of the Radford guy; Jonathan makes fun of the Monster Mash video. “it’s ridiculous…. he kind of looks like a monster!”, Jono wants to know how Jeremy is handling the Selena Gomez and The Weeknd’s breakup: “whatev salad”; Jeremy’s kids love “YouTuber People”; Jono sings “A Whole New World”
– “Live is Life” by Opus (Irv/Herb aka “Peabo” (Jere) & ________ (Jono). (2 friends argue about the existential reality about “we’re alive, but we’re not live, not putting an album out or anything”; “just messin’ with you, you shouldn’t sing… you sound stupid!”)
– “I Need a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler (Father (Jere) & Daughter (Jono). (Father and daughter argue, while father’s on the treadmill, reminiscing over loss of marriage, crunching mints, trying to “wheel young girls”. Dad is informed that mom is dating daughter’s friend Collin, who smells like Axe body spray, prep cook at Cora’s. “I can’t be the wingman for my old man.”) Debrief the awkward dads who show up on college campuses…. “He is dispicsies; “Barf me green!”

Pry-Guy Terry is overly curious: “Are you a Narc or something?”; Pry-Guy George is curious about why is friend is going to be late for lunch. “Because of daylight savings?…I forgot, it’s cryptic-month” –> friend caves and shares he’s “gettin’ my nuts checked” –> “Pry-Guy all up in your babbaganush”;

Awkward College Radio Hosts (Nathan Farhop Juniper) play Post Malone song. Monotone hosts express excitement for the songs: “these are some dope mcs… the key to unlock their inner gangster”; briefly listen to Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call it The Blues”; laugh at “Harry Doesn’t Mind” phrase from Dire Knopler

Discuss terrible movies: Minority Report with Tom Cruise, The Mummy with Brendan Fraser, older actors being “Architect Playboy” (Richard Gere, Robert Redford). Complain about Tom Cruise and his creepiness factor; discuss controversy around Kevin Spacey & Harvey Weinstein, “90% of the people I met in that industry that were successful were fucking nuts!”; “Look at his fucking body… look at his face, mostly… you’re trying to tell me there’s a woman that would consensually want to have sex with that guy? Not a chance!”; Debrief the greasy claims against Spacey – “narcissistic madness who should be fired into space”; these guys should share a jail cell in “yikers island”

Truro grade-school kids film commercials sponsored by 5 local business owners, organized by Eric (Nissan dealership owner)

Jeremy provides weather update (-18); Rebel doesn’t like the snow

Henry gets new haircut and sweater, looks like a “Glenda” now, hosts SugarDaisy’s birthday party (karaoke, 3 banger coloured bulbs “we’re thinking we should just let them run free”, snack table with punch, balloons); Jeremy shares about Jack’s “rippin” Halloween party = discuss animatronic decorations. (Jono – “Bacon got you eh?”; Jere – Creepy, sweaty big guy in swim trunks – “wanna go swimming?”)

Discuss West Coast Canada tour (to Vancouver, Victoria, Calgary, Red Deer, Winnipeg; anticipated special guests); more book signings for East Coast; merch available; Bahd of the Week Campaign online; promise regimented Monday Drops

Gord & Bernie go to Home Sense to find ottoman for “pool pool room”; ride Go-Go Gator ride at Canada’s Wonderland; Gord complains that Whitney Houston stole his song; go to Cineplex “get me outta here”; refers to “my boy, Drake”

Discuss plagiarism cases, musical influences, Joel Plasket’s favourite guitar, Jeremy’s Craviatto drums; logistics of cross-Canada travel (“Bahd-B-Ques”; the Fam Jam tour with a Seeing Snakes tent)

Terry David Mulligan (TDM – Total Douchebag Move) – wanting a do-over
– TDM calls Jeff Martin: comments on his Guy-Liner, thousands of candles

Slanguage Round 2 (original in episode 114)

– Butt Me: “pass me a cigarette”
– Church Bell: “a priest” = talkative woman
– Cash or Cheque: “is it on or isn’t it?” = Do you kiss now or later?
– Flap-doodle: “useless job?” = sexually incompetent man, nonsense, rubbish, lady parts in the 1800s
– Butter & Egg Man = the man with the money
– Gib-Face: “like a massive chin?”
– Mirror Warmer: “I guess she’s hot?” = spends a lot of time looking in mirror/high maintenance
– Hedge Creeper = Prostitute that works in the country-side
– Submarine Races = “parking next to the water to make out”
– Horn Swaggler: “a guy who steals stuff? = fraud or cheat
– Fry: “A Fraud?” = someone who blows your mind/fries your brain
– Malmsey Nose = someone who drinks too much wine, acned nose
– Jake: “Does that mean cool?” = alright
– Meater: “is that a wimp?” = coward
– Hawksaw = a detective
– Mumbling Cove = shabby person or deceitful landlord
– Hoosegow: “is that prison?”
– Mutton Shunter: “What is that? Some kind of animal? Person? Meat greasieness” = policeman tasked with managing prostitutes
– Moll = a gangster’s girlfriend
– Wag Tail: “on no, fired up?” = promiscuous woman, prostitute
– Get a Wiggle On = Hurry up
– Blow Your Wig = Freak you out
– Re-arrange our Shorts = get up and dance
– Eggs in Coffee: “runs smoothly”
– Wooper Up: “crazy person?” = second rate singer
– Kiss-Off: “before it’s all over?”
– Foosler, a Bungler = one who does things clumsily
– Jollicks = a tidy person
– Ducky Shin Cracker = a good dancer
– Rat Bag = general term of abuse
– Vazey = stupid

Discuss difficult words to say: “breakfasts, Massachusettes”

Discuss the best and worst Christmas carols. Jonathan got in trouble for playing Christmas carols in July in Cavendish.

Debriefed the West Coast book signings and live shows. “You, Me & the Yari”; “We Jare BnB’d it”; Jeremy gets locked out of Air BnB room in Victoria – texts & calls Jono, throws rocks, climbs on homeless man’s shoulders, charges phone at Salvation Army, stays at Hilton. Jonathan reads the flurry of texts, where Jere “eventually turns on him”. Share positive stories from the live shows, new merch and online orders, etc. Discuss merch ideas: “Bahd-Mafk” mugs, “Mafk” toques/shirts, “Lit A-F” shirts, “What’s going on, Big Nuts” shirts. Jono shares about his childrens’ MAFK hats. “Bahd in the oven” shirts.

Discuss the Needle Vinyl Tavern where the owner allegedly sexually assaulted workers. Jono & Jere shared rationale for changing venues to the Buckingham, advocacy to support this woman, the importance of dudes taking a stand to support/believe women. Confirm the closure of the Needle Vinyl Tavern.

Jeremy admits that he’s “really bad” at math, Jonathan is the “driving guy” and admits he’s “circumstantially cranky” if he’s hot, hungry, or tired; Jeremy is good at schmoozing airlines and tour promoters. Discuss the possibility of needing to do a record – “would it be called ‘Right Friggy?’”

“Math Mafk” game. Take turns listing numbers and adding as they go. Jeremy nervously laughs throughout. “Eventually, I just start guessing!” [Both laugh hysterically] “My brain just shuts off… I’m not even listening… I start falling apart when I think of those things. I hate this! It’s so stressful! Oh No!” –> Discuss different tricks to teach/learn math; difficulty in managing time/rhythm

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Dad’s Not Cool” jams
– “YYZ” by Rush (Dad (Jere) & Steven (Jon0). Son wants ride to a friend’s place; dad is making scrambled eggs and salad, refers to “mathematical rock” and “white out substance you’d sniff in high school” = Rush; “I want to kneel and pray that you and mom get back together because I’m worried about your judgment.”; “Can we listen to Simple Plan?”) Debrief this father-son dynamic; Rush is done!?!? –> How do we start this “Taggs for Rush?”
– “The Longest Time” by Billy Joel (Maggie (Jere) & Dad (Jono). Daddy-Maggie time on the way to dance class. “I’m hip to the groove!” Pushes daughter to join the Glee club. Threatens to be “Dabbing Dad”; daughter is embarrassed and humiliated. “Mag-salad sandwhich”) “I could just sense how annoying that guy was”
– “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)” by Phil Collins (Glendolin (Jono) & Dad (Jere). Daughter consoles dad 7 years following the separation, suggests movingon.org for sad singles. “Don’t you want to be lonely together with someone?”) “That poor dad. He’s not moving on at all!”
– “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by Backstreet Boys (Gabby (Jere) & Dad (Jono). Dad threatens to wear Tapout or Affliction shirt to Backstreet Boys concern. Wonders if he should wear several 00’s items, axe body spray, shares about his WRX lease, barbed wire arm tattoo). Jeremy shares about BSB breaking in Quebec. “Go Fig-Newton!” Jeremy declines liking any boy band songs; declines liking Taylor Swift, Katy Perry. Jeremy admits liking some of his kids’ music, appreciating some of John Mayer’s guitar playing, doesn’t “hate Justin Bieber”, “I don’t hate Ed Sheeran – Harry Potter’s friend lookin’-mafk!”; Jonathan admits liking “Shape of My Heart” by BSB; share consolation for Milli Vanilli – “They were first responders for yoga Pants. They wore yoga pants before anyone else. Lisa Bonet lookin’ mafks.” “What a sin!”
– “Africa” by Toto (Dad (Jere) & Daughter (Jono). (Father wants to play checkers or chess. Resentful daughter is angry because he moved to the country. “The only thing I want to play is Leave Me Alone. You go first!” “The only geology I’m interested in is getting stoned!”)

Discuss the inconsistencies experienced with Air Canada around extra baggage fees. Sneaky West Jet fees – $65 per bag. Jono talks about Canadian Tire hassle when trying to cash into his points. Jeremy lost 250,000 Aeroplan points because he didn’t use his card. Question the purpose of LinkedIn.

Jeremy overhears guy in parking lot singing Tragically Hip’s “Scared” — “Cold Cockulations”; refers to grumpy mom in IGA, yelling, “DID YOU STEAL IT!?”; discuss when it’s okay to intervene with parents acting over the line

Torrens household breaking news: Indigo got “the big seat” of Santa in the school play; Henry has a Top Gun flight jacket with a pocket for tiny RayBans “highway to Danger Zone lookin’ Mafk”; Henry also has a “Thunder Shirt”. Jeremy provides update on Rebel. “Ever cute.” Rebel is “right proud” after he poops on his mat. “Check out my loaf!” Jeremy shares about his 3-banger Christmas Tree stand. Rebel “speaks”.

Tom Power interviews Randy Bachman on Q. Randy talks excessively, name-drops, brags at length throughout the interview, despite Tom’s efforts to redirect. (“That was demonic Tom Power!”) Discuss how good Tom Power is for the Q host.

Commander Donny gets a job as an announcer at the Vancouver Airport White Spot. Announces featured menu items with suggestive innuendos and lude comments. Donny doesn’t understand why “Sausage in the mouth” or “sauce on your face” are inappropriate, tries to smoke indoors.

Jonathan shares how Gary installed a glass door in Jonathan’s master bathroom, Steve helps with the upholstery cushions for the Airstream, uses Scotty’s bucket truck to put up Christmas lights.

Torrens’ family 11 footer Christmas tree that’s “Lit A-F”. Taggart’s tree falls over: “fuck that stand!” He complains about 3rd year in a row of faulty tree stands. Jono: “Our 4-banger is so legit… It’s a drop n plop.”

World Juniors are in Truro, NS. Jonathan attends Can vs USA game.

Discuss how to do impressions of each other/themselves. “Look! Here’s the thing…”; “No, Man!!” …More shaggy, than Taggy!

Discuss Maritimes Book Signings & Live Shows; discuss elderly past-times (sodoku, crossword puzzles, word find, etc); “Canadianity” book continues to be a best seller; Greasy parking lot merch sales; AC/DC style Bahd shirts, mugs, MAFK hats coming.

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Jesus, I Love Christmas!” jams

– “Carol of the Bells (Symphonic Heavy Metal Version)” by Orion’s Reign (Laramie (Jere) & Micah (Jon0). Laramie needs new PA system from Shred Shack. Micah inquires about “the friendly girl with the Cavalier.” Micah = total gear pigeon.) Jeremy can’t stand Micah. “Hey Jeremy!!!”

– “Deck the Halls” & “We Three Kings” instrumental (“Thick Whale Cords with a cork” Mafks: Somalia (Jere) & Garabold (Jono). Uptight friends banter about their rich lifestyle, eating pate. Discuss ridiculous presents to buy their friends.)

– (Discuss warm holiday resort destinations; Columbia, Costa Rica; international car rentals; desired retirement destinations; Hawaiian vacations)

– “Tijuana Christmas” by Bugs Bower & “Mele Lalikimaka” by Bing Crosby & The Andrew Sisters (Salvador (Jono) & Brenda (Jere). Salvador hitting on resort-goer. “I’ll be putting you on something later, if all goes according to plan.” “Can I call you BMX?”; “I like how you feel in my mouth… Brenda…”; “Stay still while I wipe oil on your neck. Salvador going to take care of you.”; “I would swipe you right…”)

– “Last Christmas” by Wham! (JoeVannelli (Jere) & Gino Vannelli (Jono). Brothers argue incessantly over lack of current relevancy. Gino criticizes Joe for doing side-gigs, resists suggestion to record Christmas albums. Joe becomes emotional. Drink Brios. “I’d like to Wham you in the side of the head!”) Discuss NS book sales, importance of mom & pop bookstores, discuss previous dating tactics, none of this “Hi, what’s your name? Let me shoot you a picture of my horn! How romantic is that?”; SnapChat – “everyone’s comparing horns” = horn.ca; Jeremy predicts the normalization of horns in 10 years: billboards of horns, famous horns; Jonathan predicts ZipFlop, an app for sharing horn pictures. [Jeremy laughs loudly]; Jonathan impersonates the Super Why intro song

– Christmas to Remember” by Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers (Bernie (Jere) & Gord (Jono). Eating Christmas lunch at the Rainforest Cafe. Gord’s upset that Kenny Rogers replaced him on this duet. Incessant bickering leads to Gord leaving early)

Discuss Audible contract for voice recording/e-book “Canadianity”(gummydoggo = Jeremy’s hacked Gmail account, with picture of Rebel)

Donovan interviews Reverb Guy: “Oi! What are you?…. You literally are Reverb Guy!”; sings “Do it Again” by Steely Dan; “what happens if you’re in a cave? Does it cancel itself out?”; Sings first line of “Faith,” gets hired

Jonathan plays African thumb piano

Discuss nation-wide cold snap (-30 in Ontario, Alberta), wind gusts up to 170km/h

Discuss Annoying Traits:
– Golf Swing Guy: Calvin at his uncle’s wake.
– Laugh Trigger Guy: Patient in doctor’s office. “I HATE that guy!” – “The only way he can cope is pretending everything is okay.” [Jeremy laughs loudly, can’t stop] (Jonathan can’t punch the smile off the face of his plumber). [Jeremy wants to hear Laugh Trigger Guy hungover, injured]; Laugh Trigger Guy gets fired – struggles to cope “see you tomorrow… NOT!”; “Who’s got 2 eyes and has no career? This guy!”; Lost in forest; Flight attendant Emergency Exit row training; on death bed
– I’m Not Gonna Pay for That Guy: Dack treats a friend to at Mr. Sub
– I’m Gonna Take My Ball & Go Home Guy: “I hate that guy!”

Bahds of the Week: Maple Syrup Shots podcast has Jeremy on final episode; Jonathan promotes “Secret Life of Weddings” podcast (shares horrible reception/speech stories)

Commander Donny as substitute teacher teaches animal names in French, gets in trouble for inappropriate language.

Andrea & Laramie have a power outage, listen to music. Andrea changes “Hotel California” lyrics. Andrea tries to lure Laramie into dancing in the dark, get married.

Jonathan provides overview of Trevor Noah biography; Taggart family missed New Years countdown due to watching Western feed

TnT listener has a “come to Jesus moment” in realizing he is Laugh Trigger Guy.

Curling is back “with the hipster guys in Toronto” with beards, waxed moustaches, and playing jams. “Curling is the new cosmic bowling?!?” Wearing scoop neck patterned shirts, denim jackets, big zippy knit sweaters, and dad hats. Jonathan describes classic Timbits foam hat. “Do you ever wear a hat with your hair down, bahd?” – “Sick….”

Frank Mahovlich slap-shot knocked out Jeremy’s grandmother; visited her in hospital.

Corey Hart debriefs a terrible audience performance. “No Way!”

Lurley to Rise (The Laugh Trigger Guy) sitcom. Lurley faces relationship break-up, lawyer appointment, first date on the evening of his divorce. [Both laugh while debriefing Lurley’s hardships. “Couch Surfing USA!”; Morning FM radio hosts are Laugh Trigger guys along with smokers coughs; Late night radio guys getting banged up as night goes on]

“Guess the Ambience” Game (“general room with people talking”; “throw me a marshmellow!”; kids on playground; jungle/forested nature)

Jonathan recalls David Suzuki calling him an idiot; discuss social blunders. Jeremy gets snubbed by Flea. “Flea seems like he’s not super… swift.” Jeremy reflects on Bob Dylan.

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Feeling Sorry for Yourself” jams
– “Don’t Cry Out Loud” by Melissa Manchester (Hal (Jere) & Joanne (Jon0). Hal can’t understand what his boss is saying due to accent. “There’s nothing worse than a Texan crying.” Hal bawls; sounds like Goofy.) [Make Texan Gork noises]
– (Jonathan tells story of being on his first movie set at 16 with Michael Riley – screws up his first speaking role… Ana does a drive by shouting: “Alert Alert”)
– “Babe” by Styx. (Lonigan (Jere) & Bonnie (Jono). Bonnie is extremely suggestive on tinder date. “Let’s get into things…”; “Oh you’re chaste… I get it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been chased, ya’know.” Bonnie feeds date Viagra-Chip cookie)
– “One More Night” by Phil Collins. (Female Friend (Jono) & Diane (Jere). Friends discuss bath bomb epiphanies, Body Shop lotions, “Let it go” mask Christmas gift) [Jeremy reveals that he always finds strands of hair in his toothbrush; Jonathan shares about the random guy trying to sell him teeth after having 2 removed]
– “Human Nature” by Michael Jackson [Jono: “What’s your favourite Michael Jackson song?” – Jere: “Not this one!”; Jono plays “Beat It” to hear Eddie Van Halen’s guitar solo; Reverb Guy approves: “That was absolutely fantastic!” – Both laugh]

Jono sings Billy Joel song, discovers Gork Gak lyrics

Discuss failure of “Trebek or Quebec” game; how Alex Trebek purchased “thousands of acres” in California; disastrous Californian weather; Jonathan shares reasons why he hates California: “tree rats… that can jump from tree to tree and in your open window and have babies in your open mouth while you sleep.”

Blank Lookin’ Mafk game (read 3 statements; guess which mafk is being described)
– Chris Hadfield – “OG smoking OG in OG” lookin’ mafk
– (Jonathan asks, “What is Reddit?”; Jeremy fills him in, confirms TnT page created by Mike MacFarlane; “2 80-year-olds talking tech, right here.”)
– Garfield – “Lies around on your Aunt Lorraine’s couch” lookin’ mafk
– Jackson Davies – “Been mistaken for a couple other Canadian bald guys” lookin’ mafk (Jono encourages Jere to “grow out his skirted egg” if he goes bald)
– (Jeremy talks about the comedian Gallagher who smashed watermelons; laughs loudly)
– Tiger Woods – “Come on, let me see your notes real quick” lookin’ mafk
– Farley Mowat – “Dropped off by a plane, way up north with a bunch of booze, seein’ snakes” lookin’ mafk
– (Jeremy discusses tour history with Letters from Cleo, Everclear; shares how NHL players show up for concerts in the arena; Jeremy is a “Nascar skater”)
– Billy Joel – “Wink at you from behind the service bay glass at the A-1 Tire” lookin’ mafk (Jere shares how he hung out with Liberty DeVitto, Billy Joel’s drummer)

“Name that Theme: 80s Edition” game
– Dukes of Hazzard; Silver Spoons; Dallas; Newhart; The Fall Guy; Family Ties; Hill Street Blues; (“This is punching me right in the feelings, I love it!”); Who’s the Boss?; Growing Pains; Matlock; Murder, She Wrote (Murder, She Typed?); Nightrider; Dynasty; LA Law; Golden Girls; M.A.S.H.; Different Strokes; (“Who’s the Little Mafk?”; Jono creates new Webster theme song: “tiny little mafk” song; tries pitching song to producers – “carry him around in a normal golf bag!”; “you can stand him beside your daughter’s little small dolls.”; “He’s a tiny little mafk, only 3 apples tall.”)

Jono provides overview of the Bachelor show, describes the contestant with phobias

Jere shares how Rebel is socializing (“going crazy”) with 2 visiting dogs, “a lot of sniffing of whatnot…starting to get horny… doesn’t fire on your leg or anything… I don’t want him to go loading on stuff.”

Discuss ideas for 150th episode celebration, request ideas using #tnt150

Jono shares about his rap project with elementary school students, commercials with kids for car dealership

Gino & Joe Vannelli ride wild horses at a ranch. Gino complains about missing his home improvement shows. Joe’s horse gets gaseous before it drags him away.

TnT Mailbag
– Tyler: “What have you gotten out of this experience [133 podcast episodes]?”
– Darth Regis: “What’s your most awkward fan meeting?”
– Peg Gordon: “How are Ronnie, Beryl, and the real-life Bonnie doing?”
– “Funniest Canadian Mafk you’ve ever met?”

“How Windy is it where you’re at” radio show on East Coast FM. Calls from Kirby, Kathy from “Your-Mouth”, Trent, Collin from “Sheet-Harbour”,

TnT Mailbag continued
– Darcey Cudmore: “Best concert you guys have ever been to, atmosphere-wise, band was on, crowd was given’r, good times were had…” (Ana interrupts with “Alert! Alert!” while home sick with a sore throat) – “What are you?!”
– Melissa: “Is a revisit to the Park completely, positively no?”
– Stewart Andre: “Why does Jere hate Bono so much?”
– Ryan Murphy: “What’s your go-to golf course?”
– Mitch Cameron: “Are we going to see another East Coast tour?”
– Random Funk: “Any chance we go back ‘in the booth’?”(Re-visit the Spin Doctors “bedoobedip” guy)

Donovan & Randy Bachman collaborate on “Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”: “Is it cold in here, cause that feels like a first draft.”; “Did you have a baby with Barbra Streisand… that you know of?”; Randy attempts vocal warm-up techniques; “Do you want some Gak?”; “You look like a friggen lobster right now, you’re so gakked up!”

Discuss 1-hit wonders “Mambo #5” & “Gangnam Style”

Announce Ontario Tour Dates in May (Waterloo, London, Hamilton, Ottawa, & Sarnia); brainstorm how to plan a TnT “GORVING” cross-country tour with families.

Bahd of the Week movement. Listeners are invited to nominate others for “acts of bahdism.”

“Hello??” Old people attempt to have a conversation on the phone. “Isn’t that funny?”

Reflect on the extensive list of created TnT universe characters.

Discuss Mike Fisher’s return to playoff hockey in Nashville; reference Carrie Underwood’s fall and subsequent surgeries

“Spot on the Spot” Game
– Jeremy: Larry’s Canoe Emporium (Promotes leather canoes, refuses to sell Kayaks)
– Jonathan: Kiko’s Fish Hut (Jono regrets not doing fish puns in his jingle)
– Jeremy: Dish Village (Promotes new dishes instead of washing them)
– Jonathan: Syl’s Tailor (Promotes tailoring services for misfitting clothing. “Whatever your problem is, wink wink, I can solve it for you!”; “It’s really just a front for money laundering…”)
– (Jonathan talks about the Bachelor Pool with Sylvia and Jared Keeso)
– Jeremy: Pets n Things (Promotes pet grooming, toys, food products; discuss Rebel & Henry treat preferences – “No hand bombs at dinner!”)

Jeremy gets “normal sized” iPhone 7, “not the alien sized one”; Jono visits Rolling Phones store in Truro, NS. Discuss lost wallets, passports.

Sloan playing at the East Coast Music Awards, which Jonathan is hosting.

“Would You (Would’ja) Open the Door?” Game
– “Shotgun” by Jr. Walker & The All Stars (Jono would “find a way to get out of this”)
– “Sadness – part 1” by Enigma (Janice invites Kelti to Friday night hang; both laugh; Jono: “candle light flickering under the door… no way am I going in there!”; “That is a bunch of people sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce on the floor… no way!”)
– “Patio Lanterns” by Kim Mitchell (Guy invites buddies over after shinny hockey; “I’m goin’ in forsure!”)
– (Discuss the complexities of recording the “Canadianity” audio book; Jere: “You use a lot more big words than I do.”)
– “Bleed” by Meshuggah (Someone you respect invites you over; “No way. Can’t do it.”; Jonathan sees Cannibal Corpse live, refers to the singer’s “spectacular neck” from head-banging)
– “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” by Meco (Anneliese has been invited to a classmate’s birthday party; “I’m going in…”; “Star Wars, May the Fourth Be with you party? Forsure!”)
– “Spicy Soup” by The Clown Orchestra (You paid to go to a hotel ballroom on Valentine’s day; “Yeah I’d go in!”; “I find clowns a bit weird, do you?”; “Creepy-eyed drunk clown, that ain’t cool!”)
– “Popcorn” by Popcorn (Your boss’s fishing lodge – you have to go; “What if they’re naked when you go in?”; “That’s a super Atari version of popcorn!”; Jono tells stretch limo as a fishing shack story)
– “Whipped Cream” by Herb Alpert & Tijuana Brass (Bowling buddy invites you over; Jono complains about “out of control neck fuzzies”, cuts himself several times; Jeremy’s nuts hurt; discuss Try Not to Laugh videos – both laugh, “they’re so violent!”)

Discuss Las Vegas surroundings, people watching commentary; “the level of grease is pretty well documented.”; Jeremy shares being stranded in Vegas due to Scott Stapp getting “pretend laryngitis” and going to strip joints.

Jonathan’s Valentine’s/Anniversary dilemma: Go home to wife or watch Oilers play Golden Knights. “I’m like a homing pigeon.”; Describes bald, big-boned Starbucks worker in Vegas brimming with enthusiasm. “He’s giving 3000%.”

Bahd of the Week: Jono’s colleague with twins (one with Autism = miracle kid); Jeremy shares about his son, John, being Autistic. Discuss life on the spectrum, stigma, supporting effectively, underlying causes, etc.

Jono shares about the odorous, piss-smelling pillow beside him on the airplane. Goes to the lounge at the Pearson airport. Discuss Canadian celebs seen in lounges: Kurt Browning, Rick Mercer, Jim Cuddy, Rachel Bilson (“She was on the show with the pouting teens”), the guy who played Captain Stubing on the Love Boat, Wayne Gretzky, Rachel McAdams, Larry Gowan, Kyle from Sportsnet (with the “high hair”; “turbo bahd”). Criticize Mark Masters for upgrading to 1st class, leaving wife in economy.

Jono sees “Crazy Beard Guy” with a perfect suit and beat up boots in airport; hipster Santa.

Jeremy’s Top 4 “That Guy” jams
“I Want You” by Savage Garden (Gong (Jere) & Kelt (Jon0). Working at a coffee shop, adjusting suspenders. “That’s classic rock, isn’t it?” Singing all the lyrics. (Jeremy shares about playing a Sony show with Savage Garden)
“How Bizarre” by OMC (2 friends driving to EDM festival. Annoying friend sings obnoxiously; other friend gets a headache; Discuss “Howbizza” sausages #tntsausage)
“Land of Confusion” by Disturbed (Colton (Jono) & Reiker(Jere). Cubicle people. Colton is annoyingly singing at the top of his lungs. Colton: “I will buy you a ticket to the Genesis reunion tour if you turn that off.”)
“Blue” by Eiffel65 (Danny (Jere) & Jeb (Jono). Library colleagues. Blasts “#1 earworm” in library setting. Teacher tries to smash the PA system.)

Visiting Bed & Breakfast in Toronto. (“has some trouble corralling his tongue…”)

The Arkells collaborate with Air Canada to perform for Olympic athletes via twitter post. (“They’re the Soul Decision of 2018”); discuss ongoing success of The Arkells; Jay & Dan killing it in Pyeong Chang.

Jeremy discusses memorable places on the road, expresses preference for home vs eating out; Coldslaw vs coleslaw.

Anneliese is home sick with tummy issues; “Alert! Alert!”

Reverb Guy hosts Donovan’s game show “What Are You?!”; The Queen’s dog gets into a bag of gak, “breathes so fast, yeah?” (Jeremy manages all of the sound effects, audience applause, game show music, etc.)
– Sound effects played for monkey; bat
– Multiple choice questions about # of wolves in a pack;
– Sound effects played for a minotaur; “someone who’s gaseous after all-you-can-eat buffet?” = humpback whale; phones a friend (Randy Bachman) = herd of sheep
– Bonus Question: Sound effect played for walrus

Discuss Disturbed’s version of “The Sound of Silence”; “Nobody wants that song shouted at them”; “I can get behind the slow build. I can get behind the cello. I can get behind emotion… there’s no need of that. Stop covering perfect songs.”; Jere shares OLP cover songs & mosh pit stories: “Did people have their hands on your turd cutter?”; Jono sings Sesame Street songs as Michael Stipe.

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Go to Your Room” jams

– “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Corey Hart (Mom (Jere) & Thent (Jon0). “Let’s start in plausible town.” Argue over Thent’s misuse of Polaroid camera – taking pictures of his butt for school project. “Shut your face, Mom!”)
– “Lose Yourself” by Eminem (Donald (Jere) & Dad (Jono). Dad lectures Donald over topping up alcohol with water. Donald pumps himself up on the treadmill after getting sent to his room. “Why don’t you suck your way into your own apartment!”)
– “When I See You Smile” by Bad English (Dad (Jere) & Caras (Jono). Moping teenaged boy after being broken up with. “I’m just being… sitting in a sad moment.”; “Thank you, Uncle Lecture.”; “Thanks Tips, what does Hallmark pay for writing those garbage cards, anyway?”; Caras laments being cheated on) –>
– “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler. Caras and Dad bond over kareoke cover of Bette Midler song. “Now, can you get the F out of my room?”
– “Sailing” by Christopher Cross (Michael (Jere) & Dad (Jono). 37 year old son returns home. Dad reminds Michael of the household rules. Son was recently fired from Tim Hortons, but finishes video game. Wondering what his future plans are, beyond designing “the perfect rubber boot.”)

Real-life Bonnie adopts Pacco, a 3-toothed chihuahua; bought him honey-garlic meatballs – “he’s gorking them down twice a day… it’s like he moved into an all-you-can eat buffet!”

Anneliese is still sick; home from school for 3 weeks; has a “knit-brow” while sleeping

Jeremy talks about getting migraines “on the reg” from age 12.

“We’re Rippin’ like Scottie Pippin, bahds!”

Jeremy heading to Bermuda for a golf tournament, with invite from PGA Canada bahds; Jonathan shares about his honey moon there (cuisine, 3-hr church service, scenery, etc); discuss approaches to playing golf; Gerry Dee has “great athlete hair”; Jono is curious about Jere’s golf hairstyle and apparel decisions

Letterkenny cast doing cross-Canada live shows; Jono & Carole going in Halifax, Jere in Toronto

Gino & Joe Vannelli argue about girls while Joe wants to share his new song ideas; [“Henry, pipe down, bahd!”]; Joe’s ripped off when he hears “Black Cars”; Creepy riff-jacker/song-writer, Roy Freeland (“Who knew he was such a strong presence in the industry?”

Jeremy tells “Plate-licker” story from tour bus; shares favourite 3-run tracks

Jono looks into lighthouse real estate; describes Gannet Rock Lighthouse

“How long would you survive if you were out on a dingy boat in the middle of the ocean?”; Jono reads the book “the Secret of the Sea”; Jere shares about a guy who eats wallet, business cards, and shoes to survive; “it’s over” – dying guy has vision of Vince Carter after dunk competition, waving hands; discuss which songs they’d want to hear when dying

Jonathan shoots Superman commercial where he defuses a bomb for the corporate gig in Vegas; fake bomb gets left behind from filming. “Yikers island!”

Jonathan has to “who dis” after getting new iPhone8, information didn’t transfer

Jonathan sees Letterkenny at Casino New Brunswick with 1,900 fans; Jeremy is looking “Mark Forward to it”; Carole & Jono attend Canadian Screen Awards (Jono wins; Jann Arden presents with N’Syncers who big-timed Jono, hangs out with James Duthie); Carole & Jono cancel their day-trip to New York for their anniversary and Marchbus-trip to Florida due to weather

Jeremy attends Aurora Tigers game with Dart Guy; goes into double overtime

Jono shares about annual hockey competition with “overall flow” contestants. “There’s frosted tips and mullets and mohawks and bobs and ‘fros/”

[Blank] ______ Year Old Mafk game
– I’m a “should probably get a will made up” year old mafk. (Jono: 47)
– I’m a “putting firecrackers into a bucket and putting it in a sleeping guy’s lap” year old mafk. (Jere: 20)
– I’m a “bought my first pair of readers at Shoppers” year old mafk. (Jono: 52; discuss short-sightedness)
– I’m a “always fall asleep halfway through Jeopardy” year old mafk. (Jere: 65)
– I’m a “paid for groceries with a cheque” year old mafk. (Jono: 68)
– I’m a “live in my parents’ basement playing an online life simulation when awake” year old mafk. (Jere: 32)
– I’m a “found a Werther’s in my cardigan pocket” year old mafk. (Jono: 67)
– I’m a “love drones and have added droning to my skill set on my resume” year old mafk. (Jere: 30; drones bother Jeremy while suntanning in his backyard)
– I’m a “starts voicemail messages with ‘hey, if you get this…’” year old mafk. (Jono: 74)
– Scott Baio or Bio game (Have to discern whether statement is a Social Media bio or Scott Baio quote)

Jeremy tells Sammy Hagar stories. “Man, I ain’t got no time for Elvis today!”; Jeremy confirms touring with “Haggsy” on the Van Halen tour in 1995. “He dresses like Richard Simmons – tank top and short shorts.”; “As a singer, he was legit?!?”; Anthony Keidis is “not the first guy I’d pick for the All-Star team”

Discuss Lee Trevino’s golf shenanigans. “He’s a sweetheart, always!”

Deep dive on Van Halen jams (Jump, Panama, When It’s Love, etc); Jeremy shares about his fight with the smaller Righteous Brothers guy in a hotel; The Beatles played Monopoly and shagged in adjoining hotel rooms (“Monopoly & Chill”; “You’re not the only ones to get horny!” [Jeremy cackle laughs])

Action 7 News with: Tom Bent & Carlie Huffinbock; Buffy Termontina & Bell Cosby; Shocky Tazer & Carp Melowlee; Elise Bermanchetti & Glass Case; Jonathan alludes to watching ABC news “The names are always like Tark Pocklington & Melissa Hernandez”; Gandalf Harrison & Tina Tarson; Ariel Hershiser; Harvey Knockers & Trudy Blapstein; Al Overher & Sonya Smituny; Penny State & Anne Pocklingtonberg; Baron Tonsilitus; Pearl Oyster; Nore Easter; Punch Punchadillo; Vince Malone; Couch Fartichtuny; Purse Largo; Barbara Demeanie; Darren Tackle

Torrens family made it to Florida safely; dry camped in South Carolina

Jeremy saw Letterkenny live at Queen Elizabeth Theatre; “great hang with the bahds afterwards; blown away by Mark Forward’s stand-up”

Henry barks at passersby; “He just wants to party with everybody”; Rebel caught a mouse in the house = Jono gasps; discuss their dog habits; Jonathan shares his hatred for mice as Jeremy describes the mice in his home

Discuss upcoming TnT shows across Canada, confirm newly booked shows

Andrea & Laramie go to Universal Studios. “I need 2 people for Harry Potters!”; “You’re already the colour of mayonnaise, a little sunshine wouldn’t hurt a fella!”; Laramie wants to read his book, begrudgingly entertains Andrea’s excitement. Andrea wants to see wax museum “he’s right waxy!”; they see Mario Lopez “look at the worshboard abs… I want to take a bath in one of his dimples…”; Andrea wants Thing 1 & Thing 2 shirts; Laramie puts on his “Guy-liner” with his fingerless gloves

Discuss Bewitched & I Dream of Jeannie; Jeremy queries whether or Barbara Eden was “on the gak”; Michael Caine vs My Cocaine

Discuss potential sponsorship offers; importance of doing ads in TnT characters; Next week will be the “first ad in TnT history” – hoping to expand tour reach, offer additional contests. Discuss the balance of enjoyment and the business side of things.

Jonathan is at “Dominion of Canada inside Florida” with fellow east coasters. (Tropical Palms RV resort); Jeremy refers to “I like how he speaks his mind!” Trump supporter; Torrens headed to Disneyworld with “Fast Pass opportunities”, discusses magic “Moses bracelets”; “a lot of Guy Fieri-lookin’ mafks, fanny packs, and mouse merchandise”

Amazing Race or Disgrace game
– Jeremy: Justin Bieber or David Hasselhoff (Jono picks Hoff “even if it means we’re not winning)
– Jonathan: CeeLo Green (both laugh) or Mini Me (Jere picks “CeeLo forsure”; Jono challenges the decision with a “Tiny Little Mafk” argument–> sings “Tiny Little Mafk in a great big world” –> Jere changes his mind, imagining Mini Me in a crowded market. [Both laugh hysterically.] “He rides you like an elephant… You can utilize him in so many ways… I’d rather Mini Me than anybody!”)
– Jeremy: Owen Wilson or Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Owen’s got “some demons chasing him around”; “I’m addicted to sex… Help!”; Jono picks Owen Wilson)
– Jonathan: Mariah Carey or Dennis Rodman (Jere picks Mariah Carey)
– Jeremy: Paul Godfrey/Kevin O’Leary or Piers Morgan (Jono picks Kevin “private jet styles, right?”)
– [Humber College ad: Andrea excitedly decides to go back to school. “You can do it onlines!”]
– Jonathan: Pauly Shore or Pauly D from Jersey Shore (“the mafk with the mushroom hair”) (Jere picks Pauly Shore for “a better head on his shoulders”) –> Discuss “Horn filters” to make genitals fuller, sepia tone, “strobing effect in the veins”
– Jeremy: John Cougar Mellencamp or Flea (“both notoriously onery”; Jono picks Mellencamp because Flea is “packed with gak, right?”) –> “I wonder if Bruno Mars ever gets tired of himself”…“Probably not”… “Tiny little gaks in this great big world”
– Jonathan: Gerard Depardieu or Andrea Bocelli (“I think he might have magnum bottles of wine in his Inspector Gadget coat”; Jere picks Andrea Bocelli, “I’m worried about Gerard getting too banged up, seeing snakes…eating breadsticks… Huge turtleneck sweater crushing bottle of wine”)
– Jeremy: Jack Black or Nick Nolte (Jere impersonates Nick Nolte; Jono has “high hopes for Jack Black being a good dude” yet Jere sees value in Nick Nolte’s wisdom)
– Jonathan: Whoopi Goldberg vs Arnold Schwarzenegger (Jere picks Whoopi after telling stories about witnessing Maria Shriver crying; Jono indicates that Whoopi “might not be collaborative”)
– Jeremy: Ben Stiller or Bill Cosby (Jono picks Ben Stiller, despite him “being hard to get along with… ABC – Anyone But Cosby”)
– Jonathan: Gene Simmons or Richard Simmons (Jere thinks Gene is “kinda Trumpy”, picks Richard Simmons as he’s a “super sweet guy”)

Seth Fisher complains to neighbour about his loud humming while he’s trying to work.

Barenaked Ladies scheduled to appear with Steven Page at Junos

Martin Lager, the writer of “The Littlest Hobo” passes away.

Discuss the Junos with the Barenaked Ladies with Steven Page, The Arkells, Sarah Harmer tribute to Gord Downie

“Hoppy Easter, Bahd!”; Jonathan’s back from “Miam-o”; “Your Knopfler was amazing!”

Live tweeting situation of in-office lunch stealer; the coffee machine pisser guy (“How greasy!”; “How much do you have to hate someone to do that?”)

Jeremy talks about seeing the Oklahoma City bombing aftermath; was in DC when the Beltway sniper was active.

Jono shares about Hershey factory, “Bangor sneak”–> “Fishkill sneak”; mentions Jason’s Pizza “not to be missed”, Resident’s Inn “it’s tight… waffles for breakfast and stuff”; “I feel like Hartford has a seedy underbelly!”; describe boring and poor small-town US cities. Jeremy recommends Boise, ID and Portland, OR as his favourite surprise cities, suggests Voodoo Doughnuts.

Jere golfs with “Eddie the Wrench,” Canadian curler – who is really good at chirping

Lisa loves buying stuff from 403auctions, left over from movie filming. Jeremy gets new spy glasses that record stuff, hold memory cards.

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Spy Glasses” jams
– “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell (Mom (Jere) & Greg (Jon0). Mom accuses son of stealing dad’s beer. Son uses spy glasses to get to the bottom of the situation.)
– “Hypnotize” by Notorious B.I.G. (Reverb Guy (Jere) & Donovan (Jono). Reverb Guy is annoyed because he hasn’t been paid, not eating for weeks.”Write an invoice and you’ll be paid within 30 days!”; “Screw yourself, Reverb Guy!”) Jono has recorded his daughters saying, “What are you?!”
– “Secret Agent Man” by Johnny Rivers (Gino (Jono) & Joe (Jere). Gino makes fun of Joe for wearing new glasses. “You look like Roy Orbison with facial hair!”; Argue over demo of created song.)
– Unknown Instrumental Song (Alannah (Jere) & Brockwell (Jono). Husband confronts wife about relationship with Trent, the co-worker. “You keep saying ‘Load the trucks’ but what does that mean?”; Admits to giving blowjob behind the Coke machine.)
– “I’ll be Watching You” by The Police (Jonathan & Jeremy). Jeremy trades Macklemore tour jacket for spy glasses; argue about failing to receive consent for recording my likeness.)

Jeremy provides update on Aneliese’s health issues. (9-1-1 call, IV, stomach virus with low immunity, week-long hospital stay–> Taggart family Costa Rica trip)

Discuss the Humboldt hockey team bus tragedy

Discuss the Biltmore. Jere golfed there with Randy Johnson (MLB pitcher, also a drummer, “knees almost to his head because he’s so tall”); Steve Jones’ farts on the golf course (“he’d make a 20-footer and then let out a big gas…”); Glen Campbell

Jono’s girls auditioned for school talent show doing “Ho Hey” by The Lumineers. Indy plays piano, Sug currently playing guitar. Created band “Sug-Indy.”

[Humber College commercial: Andrea raves about her love of the comedy training program]

“Tiny Little Mafk” proves to be helpful in retrieving a lost cell phone; retrieves stuck vending machine items; (“He’s a tiny little mafk in this great big world” – theme song is “Diff’rent Strokes” by Alan Thicke); retrieves quarters from under the driver’s seat; retrieves wedding ring from drain pipe; helps remove popcorn kernels from being stuck in one’s teeth. (“Where does he live?” – “In someone’s pocket?” – “I picture him kind of like the IKEA monkey…”)

Jeremy provides details of Costa Rica trip; celebrating 11th anniversary with Lisa; amazing fresh fruit; thieves stealing windows; weird bugs, bees, fire ants, leaf eaters & crabs everywhere; snakes, scorpions, packs of monkeys, black jaguar; father-in-law’s house.

“On the Gak: (Alleged) 80s Edition” – theme song: “Rockit” by Herbie Hancock
– Tom Berenger (“I’m gonna say no”); Dave Stewart from Eurythmics (“He probably tried the Gak”); Bruno Gerussi (“No… Do you think?”); Sylvester Stallone (“Sure. Maybe. I think he probably tried it… Didn’t he do pornography?”; discuss the mic slip-up “cradle the balls”); Kevin Bacon (“Ahh… Yeah, sure!”); Tom Hanks (“Aww, I don’t think… It was a different time”); Mr. T (“I don’t think so”); Richard Klein (“Forsure! Right off one of his medallions”); The Other Guy From Wham/Andrew Ridgeley (“We know George Michael did it… maybe that’s what happened… Early 80s… they were big”); Paul Gross (“Yeah….”); Ralph Macchio (“No, he doesn’t seem the type”); Jennifer Beals (“Ahh, yeah); Patrick Swayze (“No… on the darts pretty hard”); Madonna (“Probably”); Molly Ringwald (“Yeah”); Tony Danza (“I’m always in camp No – but maybe that’s being nice… always struck me as straight laced gym guy”); Louis Del Grande (“I feel like no”); Rob Lowe (“Yeah”); Al Waxman (“No”); Norm Perry (“Between commercial breaks; 2 scoops before the raisins”); Lloyd Robertson (“No… Did coverage of his own accident on Toronto highway”); Olivia Newton John (“No chance!”); “How much Gak was there at Much Music in the early days?”; “Did they have bowls of Gak at their desks?”

Introduction of Crying Guy (to avoid conflict or confrontation)

Calvin (Jere) says “Kewl Beans” in the workplace; cries when questioned by co-worker

Glen (Jono) fails to record WWE RAW episode; roommate becomes angry; begins to sob uncontrollably

Customer (Jere) at Starbucks ordering coffee, refuses all other snacks; breaks down into tears, is overly sensitive

Oren (Jono) gets yelled at by co-worker for leaving Keurig pods behind; cries and gets defensive “you’re such an asshole”

Both reminisce about special tear-jerking moments with their kids (Jono at Disneyland; Jere writes his name on his boys’ bunk bed)

Electric-lux fridge isn’t chilling properly. “It’s as hot in there as it is out here.”; Ketchup doesn’t belong in the fridge?!

Microwave issue. “It could be a valve or a float or a latch?”; “My husband’s a piece of human garbage that barely gets out of the bed in the morning.”; Hairdryer burns her skin off the scalp.

Stove elements make the “hissing/ringing noise”.

Clearance Leaf Blower isn’t blowing leaves when there’s no leaves around. (Radio host bumbles with the mute button)

Jonathan’s in Winnipeg for the Comedy Festival; Jets are in Playoffs; Saw bicycle spandex onesie boarding a plane; Discuss what to wear when returning from hot destination; dude unsuccessfully tried to get the “Go Jets Go” chant on the plane – twice, “he should’ve whispered it to see if it caught on like a grass-fire!”

“Bigger Bird” game show
– Chuck Mangione vs Conor McGregor. (Cucumber in his pants at weigh-in? “Raging hard-on comes out…”); Jeremy recalls clam-digger wearing kid tent-poling at baseball game. Jeremy chooses “Hard-On McGregor”
– Mr. Furley vs Mr. Roper. Jeremy chooses Mr. Roper.
– Jackson Davies vs Bill Welychka. (Both laugh hysterically). Jonathan chooses Welychka.
– Tom Selleck vs John Cleese. Jeremy goes with “Selleck quick!”
– Colin James or Jeff Martin. Jono: “Can I say a tie?”, chooses Colin James
– Matthew Broderick or Lionel Richie. Jere: “Is this entrapment? I’m gonna go with Lionel Richie”; Lord Lionel in the middle east.
– Michael Jackson vs Michael Douglas. Jere: “Michael Douglas and not that bent, speckled-trout that Jackson couldn’t keep in his pants.” (Fun game, eh bahd?” – “I Guess…”)

Discuss Stanley Cup Playoffs: Kadri’s 3-game suspension; Leafs vs Bruins; difficulty with predictions “Canadianity all the way?”; Patrik Laine’s beard

Jeremy tells brick-dropping on crocodile story; Jono shares about alligator jet-boat tour in Florida, sees wild boar in the ditch on the highway “these mafks are taking over…”; Jono recollects pig on Street Cents set on Season 1. “Do you like to party?”

Room Service guy at sketchy hotel: “Perrrr-fect. Excellent choice, sir! Mmmm!”

Marks or Lark Game (Mark’s Work Wear House product or made up)
– Jono: Adrian Low Cut Approach
– Jere: Men’s Woburn Chukka Boots (“To go with your date jeans!”)
– Jono: Horntoe Blasters
– Jere: Copper Grinders jeans
– Jono: Tuff Stainz pants
– Jere: Poppy Rubber Boots
– Jono: Lowland Shifters
– Jere: Thermal Herman socks
– Jono: Grassbow shirt
– Jere: Bob’s plush pups
– Jono: Flame resistant, loose fit, mid-weight canvas jeans (Carhardt)
– Jere: Shropshire tent poncho

“Hey Aren’t You…” Game
– Both laugh loudly as Jeremy hums “Rise Up” by the Parachute Club
– Jonathan hums “99 LuftBalloons” by Nena
– Jeremy hums “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart
– Jonathan whistles “Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred
– Jeremy hums “Easy Lover” by Phil Collins (“Can you imagine someone standing in front of you, doing that?!” Both laugh loudly)
– Jonathan trumpet-hums “The Forbidden Dance” by Lambada
– Jeremy hums “So Far Away” by Dire Straits (“That ain’t workin’…”)

[Gordon Lightfoot wonders if he should write “Fundown” a book about his on-stage banter. Humber College’s “Humber Humour Writing Program”: humbercomedy.ca]

Arkells playing in England with Frank Turner. Discuss the importance of opening bands.

Debrief Jonathan’s televised gala for Winnipeg Comedy festival (Jets won 1st series, postponed flights due to ice storm, Westjet “what can we do for you line”, Henry feeling frisky with his haircut and bomber jacket, crying passengers secure early flights = drives Jonathan bananas)

Jono’s new project: American Girl dollhouse (designed & built from scratch); “I love doing things that are outside my realm of comfort.” Jere loves vacuuming to clear his head.

Canadianity is now featured on Audible app

Discuss ideas for Episode 150. All request show? Jono: “I can tell you’re underwhelmed!”

Jeremy is all in with the Jets for the Stanley Cup. “Just for Burton Cummings alone!”

Jeremy’s Top 5 “First Warm Day of the Year” jams
– “West End Girls” by Petshop Boys (Hipster bros cruising in the 2007 RX-8 to the mall, checking out the tank top store. “That’s a dude… Wait a sec, that’s a mailbox!”) Share stories of friends growing up with nice cars and loud music; debate legitimate metal music.
– “Runaway” by Del Shannon (Co-worker (Jere) & Gary (Jono). Gary wears shorts to work and gets reprimanded. “Summer’s a state of mind, bahd.” Co-workers Nigel & Terry agree that “short-pants” are inappropriate for the office. “You idiots are wearing suits it’s because you’re soulless and dead inside…”)
– “Sussudio” by Phil Collins (Laugh Trigger Guy (Jono) & Server (Jere). Patron insists on sitting outside. “It’s noon-o’clock somewhere!”; “Do I look like a goose? Skin me!”; “What can I getcha? —Wasted! I’m trying to drown out my very real sad feelings.” Patron orders 4 beers for himself.)
– “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Somethings (Young Kid (Jere) & Father (Jono). Opening up the cottage for the summer, only to discover deceased, composting grandmother on the couch. “Your grandmother, JR Logan, may she rest in pieces.”; “YOU FORGOT NANA!”)
– “Beer in Mexico” by Kenny Chesney (Employee (Jono) & Driver (Jere). Frigid, chattering teeth employee begs to get inside vehicle as the weather is super cold. “Poor freezing mafk!”)

Briefly discuss passing of Vern Troyer, “tiny little mafk in a great big sky”…. “it was supposed to be touching”

“What’s new in Taggart town?”; Jonathan shares about East Coast Music Awards (increasing hip-hop presence, female singer-songwriters, “The Island was burlin’!”); Stumpy Campbell; prominence of Sloan

“Yello?… May the Fourth be with you!”; Discuss preference for Cinqo de Mayo

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Store” jams
– “One More Night” by Phil Collins (Staples X-Ray Printing Counter; “is that the gorilla’s member?” — “no, that’s my face.”)
– “Closer Together” by The Box (Bonnie arrives early for hair appointment before getting “Caco’s nails” done; gets reprimanded for smoking in salon.) Jeremy realizes that “Bonnie is basically Johnny Depp.” Jonathan howls in laughter. “Bonnie Depp! How on earth did you make that leap?!”
– “Whip It” by Devo (Raw Food Cafe. Patron is really interested in covering 5 food groups. On the menu: Live-sagna. Neat-loaf. Worm water. Agave seeds. Fakin Bites. Fader tots. Nearly Bird Gets the Worm special. Fauxerella Sticks; wearing bugs for ashirt.)
0 [“Let’s talk for 60-seconds about Kanye and go!”]

[Jonathan is going to play Slanguage with Tom Power on Q; Jeremy sees Cormorants behind his house; Jonathan refers to Fat-burger birds]

– “Down Under” by Men at Work (Gary looks to upgrade his vehicle at used car lot; intrusive salesman obtains too much personal information. “I’m looking for a car, not a life coach!”; Hassling over the Cobalt; the Walk-Away approach is employed) Torrens’ family is struggling to compromise with 4 different agendas for new vehicle; discuss the frustrations of used car sales tactics.
– “Believe” by Cher (Pilgrim’s Flowers. Customer looks for flowers following death of neighbour RJ Logan; discuss flower and card options within the limited budget; dictates the message for the tiny hand-written cards) “Weird alert, weird weird alert, weird… Re-dicky.”

Donovan meets “Nas-Tea” for an audition; “Note Stick Guy, what are you?! Wasting my time…”

Jonathan’s got 2 teeth pulled, using his “clicky”; awaiting dental surgery implants & a sinus lift; “goofed up on pain killers”; “they last as long as I own my head”

Jonathan visited real-life Bonnie and her dog, Pacco (who has gained 1.5lbs)

Jonathan debriefed his time at the East Coast Music Awards; plays “Slanguage” with Tom Power on Q, with Carole’s freshly made chocolate chip cookies led to Alan Doyle’s comment: “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s Gon-Cookies.”

[Gino & Joe do Humber College commercial for humour writing program]

Gentle Giant behind the coffee counter that sounds like Jarome the Giraffe from Friendly Giant; Jeremy recalls that his Bri-Ashley character sounds like Rusty the Rooster

Discuss Holy Grail of Canadianity television: Louis Del Grande’s glasses from Seeing Things; Relic’s toque; the urban peasant James Barber’s white shirts; Wok With Yan apron; Dog from Due South; plane from Danger Bay; RCMP uniform from Due South; Dressing Room couch; Clue Board from Definition; licence plate from Bumper Stumpers. [use #tnttv]… Wheels’ glasses; wheel from Test Pattern; wheel from Just like Mom; Fergie Olver in handcuffs

Discuss sports updates: Raptors fire coach; Vegas Golden Knights doing well; good folks in Winnipeg love their Jets

Jonathan shares about weed control (PH reading; Round-Up); Jeremy suggests bringing “a Lemmy to come and piss on the weeds… bring bikers over, fill them with beer, and piss on the dandelions”; a Pee-Fest; might need to become a “golf-course superintendent”)

East-Coast Band Name Game (“Real or Fishy”)

– Clam Chowder (Real!); Lobster Tamalley (“That’s Fishy, Bahd!); “Do you pound the roe?!… Butter styles…”; Squid (Real!); Right Whale Brothers (“Fishy”; “for shit’s sakes!”); Blueberry Grunt (Real!); Pickled Herring (Fishy!); Rum n Raisin (“Fishy!”); Donair Supply (Real – Halifax’s premiere cover band); Barnacle (Real!); The Schooners (“That’s fishy!”); Gon’ Cookies! –> “Right Friggy” is TnT band name

Danko Jones hosts Regal Beagle podcast dedicated to Three’s Company.

Discuss the Gypsey Kings; “musical gak”; fast rhythms are “8,000 miles/hour”;

All-Time Fan Favourite Moments:
– Josh Hines: “Fat Chick from Aerosmith blowing himself up at the gas pumps on the way to rehearsal – Joey Kramer Ferrari story”
– Jordan Berness: Alan Frew at Scarborough Town Centre
– Peg Gordon: Ep72 – GorkGak, Manada, All the Top 5 Jams (especially the opening of the Cottage), Spot on the Spot
– Nell Ringel/Vickers: Opening of the Cottage jams with Bryant and his ghost dad (“sucked into the turbine)
– Scottish dudes at Scarborough Town Centre, RJ Logan, Talk about (tarantulas in bananas)
– Andrew Acsai: Bahd House episodes
– Kirk Degaust: Vannelli brothers – “HEY MA!!”
– Tom Maxwell: Halloween at Popular Girl
– Frankie (“used to work for the Oilers”): The TnT Cruise
– Neil: Andrea & Laramie
– Singing “I hate my life”, Gord sings the 90’s, Mr. Magic,
– Paul Brothers: Tom Power interviewing Reverb Guy
– Hit the Post, mismatched Page & Lightfoot duet of “The Edmond Fitzgerald”
– Andrew Epp: How Windy is it where You’re at?
– Peter Garret’s “Wild Kingdom”, Corey Hart impressions, anything Gord & Bernie, Expos walk-up jams, Mark Knopfler show, Simple Plan sound check, Jono’s reaction to GorkGak, anything involving Donovan
– Jessica Dumont: Tiny Little Mafk in the Great Big World
– “Ample Parking,” Fatburger Lady (Gretchen McClurk getting fired), Germ-a-Therm, anything Franglais, Commander Donny, Sausage Guy, TLC “Waterfalls”, Micah, Seth Fischer, da-bobob-boish

Jeremy’s “Go Jets Go – White Out” jams
– “Roller” by April Wine (Reg (Jere) & Daviday (Jono). Pre-game tailgating. Drinky-Drinky or Smoky-smoky or family party. “Are you sure you can have a sneaky rip here?”; Undercover officer regulates things.)
– “American Woman” by The Guess Who (Rita/Colleen (Jere) & Customer (Jono). Customer brings lame small talk to Rita/Coleen at Stella’s jam stand. “There’s nobody buttering the biscuits?”; “The buns have no backs…”; “I like to wear a green gown when I go to the park.”)
– “Old Time Rock n Roll” by Bob Seger (2 drunk buddies celebrate the Jets win)

Jeremy can’t be bothered with the Royal Wedding, the Royals, or Elvis fandom. Jonathan saw Charles and Diana at the airport in Sherwood, PEI.

Announcement: Episode 150 Spectacular will be recorded live at RumRunners in London, ON. Bahd-pooling car pool.

Additional coverage of the Royal Wedding with Jack and Donovan as Diane is under the weather. Donovan brags that he introduced Megan and “Prince Randy.”

Donovan provides behind-the-scenes commentary of the wedding; gives “Eltie” his seat the at the ceremony. Voted against “Candle in the Meg-an” or “In the Ha-rry Tonight” being performed. Post-Ceremony parties were debriefed, including putting Prince Phillip to bed, sharing a Gin & Tonic with the Queen. “Jack rhymes with Gak!”

Jeremy provides update on “rustic styles” backyard landscaping with decorative stones. Jonathan gives PH level updates. “Holy moly, what’s the deal?” Jonathan needs lime and over-seeding.

Neighbzies interchange:
– 2 neighbours chat about watching the game on the deck with “good eats” including naan bread, meatballs, etc. “My wife thinks you’re an a-hole!”; “Tell your wife, welcome to the club cause every woman in this neighbourhood thinks I’m an asshole… I’m addicted to loud!”; “Cheatin’ Charlie” brags about his grotto, discuss how “chicks meet me”; “walk around with no clothes on by mistake”.
– 80s super annoying hick guy who dismisses rap music. “Put the needle on the record… Fuck off!”; Dismissive hick guy is being “super ignorant total loser” guy. “Looking for a fight” guy. Water fountain punch/head tapper.

Discuss the prominence of bullies due to anonymous nature of social media/internet. Elaborate on the experience of bullying through the eyes of their children. Influence of parents on kids’ behaviour. Jono recollects sitting next to Child Psychologist on a plane, advice received.

Jeremy shares his appreciation for Sex Pistols; knocks Blink-182 for being “shit/terrible” live. “It’s like watching a car with 3 wheels and one maybe breaking…”

British edition of Slanguage:
– Jono: “That guy is all mouth and no trousers.” (Jere: “he’s got all talk, no sack!”)
– Jere: “He’s a curtain twitcher, he is!” (Jono: “Noisy Neighbour!”)
– Jono: “It was a damp squib!” (Jere: “raining all day?”) – “Something that fails on all counts.”
– Jere: “Meetin’ last night was a dog’s dinner” (Jono: “all over the place?”)
– Jono: “… He knows one’s onions.” (Jere: ???) – “To be well versed”
– Jere: “I won’t have you faffing all day.” (Jono: “BS?”) – “Wasting Time”
– Jono: “Should we do the rumpy pumpy?” (Jere: “Gettin’ it on?”)
– Jere: “Hank Marmon” (Jono: “Starving?”)
– Jono: “He’s the dog’s danglies!” (Jere: “Like a wank? A dick?”) – “The Best!”
– Jere: “Seems I’ve caught the lergy, I have.” (Jono: “Does it have something to do with the church?”) – “Suffering from cold or flu-like symptoms”
– Jono: “I’m skint for the weekend.” (Jere: “You’ve got nothin!”)
– Jere: “I was minging.” (Jono: “on the turn? Anything bad…”)
– Jono: “See the girl with the nice baps.. Until you queered my pitch.” (Jere: “shocked him?”) – “spoiled my efforts”
– Jere: “I’m on the pole tonight.” (Jono: “looking for that special someone”)

“You’ve been a busy little beaver!”; Update on Jeremy’s parents, Ronnie & Beryl. Sold their home, moving to apartment in Barrie, ON. References the “Copperhead Road” apartment guy; Filled 2 large bins including Jeremy’s stuff from “when I was a little kid” up until 22 or so. Jetson, “King of Caring”, was “throwing stuff into the bin like the Hulk.”; Jetson got an in-ground pool; Beryl’s short-term memory begins to fail. Discuss how dementia has set in. Jono shares about strategies his mother used to throw people off the scent.

The Yawning “Tired Guy” is invited to go to Game 4 Playoff game. Jonathan admits to being overt Tired Guy, embraces his role as being “that guy”.

The Negative Guy that “finds fault with everything, always!” Collin & girlfriend attend Hot Yoga. (“Why’s it so hot in here?”; “My pants are itchy”; “I don’t like this, i don’t think!”; “This mat isn’t soft enough”; “Mine’s not soft”; “Honestly, does it have to be this hot in here?”; “This is TOO hot yoga!”; “I don’t have to do anything, I’m sweating already!”) “There are a lot of Collins in the world!”

Volcano Guy – “Goes zero to PISSED in a nano-second… they’re like tinder boxes, because you never know what’s gonna set them off… There’s a lot of these dudes!” 50s Diner styles with Dwart & his girlfriend. Volcano Guy freaks out over water pitcher & meals given to other patrons first; discuss “Rightful Volcano Guy”, bad tipping (“What do you think Andre the Giant had to leave?”… “That’s a Thousie!”)

Discuss famous musicians trashing hotels. (The Who, Led Zeppelin, Keith Moon, Trailer Park Boys–> Wooden shutters shattered by kung-fo punches & fixed with Kaluha & glue; Jeremy recollects throwing potted plant down the stairs; Jeremy confirms he was most likely of OLP musicians to “get into mischief”)

Scatts Ass podcast for Jazz Musicians, Louie & LoLo. Beatles scatting tribute act. “We used to be a trio, but now we’re a duo… He’s not with us anymore.” Reference their band-mate who had difficulty with temperature regulation. Reference gig at Snakey Jacks with stolen gear out of the Chrysler Sebring.

Staying at JerBnB. Debrief the taping of episode 150, with attending bahds (Tim Oxford, Sylvia, Mike the Bahd, Steve from Air Canada, Hodge – “First Responder Bahd”); Great White performed show beneath TnT gig; Ate at Jack Aster’s after the show. Debriefed the preference for AirBnB spaces. Live shows have had more story-telling than characters.

Gord & Bernie. “Hey Bernie!”. Gord requests assistance through the window, before pitching new songs. “These turds haven’t been fully polished.” Sings “Summer of ‘49”, “Sunday in the Park” — (“someone needs to get the wax out of their sound holes”), “Friday Night’s Alright for Fighting”, “Monday, Bloody Monday”, “Just another Manic Tuesday”.

Shoutouts to Tim Oxford, Mike MacFarlane, Steve Goodfellow (Air Canada), Adam Lylee(Professor @ Faneshaw College, Director of Photography for Trailer Park Boys)

Labatt Light: “It’s like chilled rat piss”; Moby-lookin’ mafk gives Jono advice for his farm

Blank Lookin’ Mafk Game:
– Heather: “It’s like an AA meeting; My name’s Heather, and I’m a bahd!”; (Jere finds a Brendan Shanahan lookin’ mafk in the audience); Jono: “You are a young Anderson Cooper in a movie of the week” lookin’ mafk
– Charlie (in the bahd shirt): “What do you do with yourself, and also what do you do for a job?”; Jono: “You are a sits down to pee” lookin’ mafk; Jere: “You fucked it up again at the hockey rink” lookin’ mafk
– Ryan (with the military hat covered in pins): Jono: “Already got my tickets for next year’s Comic-Con” lookin’ mafk, “Fail Army” lookin’ mafk, “Harry Potter” lookin’ mafk, “MC Blunt Bangz” lookin’ mafk, “How’s Trevor doing? He’s going through a hard time” lookin’ mafk, “Upside down, right thick” lookin’ mafk; Jere: “Move out of the way, I got this jumping over a river but only making it halfway” lookin’ mafk, “viral video” lookin’ mafk, “I’ll take that badge” lookin’ mafk, “You got any buttons?” lookin’ mafk, “I’ll take a Tahiti treat” lookin’ mafk, “I love Alan Thicke songs” lookin’ mafk. (Chanting: Squishy or Pen, Squishy or Pen)

Jono’s best comedic work on the elevator. “More like slow-e-vator, am I right?”; Sings Happy Birthday to a stranger; proposes idea for a show called “Goin Down” where you pin a mic onto people as they come into the elevator

Papa Doug (Jeremy’s Step-Grandfather who would “get things goin’”) would fall asleep watching satellite tv, leaving grease spot on the wall.

Lyric or Lie Game
– Volunteer Bahd Brad is a “Where can I get a 2tarabite hard-drive at Best Buy” lookin’ mafk; “You’re gonna come around, eventually!”; Gingivitis “Kris Draper” lookin’ mafk friend in the audience
– Nickelback – LIE; Jann Arden – LIE; Burton Cummings – LIE; The Moffatts – LIE; Bret Hart -LIE; Shania Twain -LIE (“Give ‘em a shirt! Give ‘em a shirt!”)

Audience Questions
– Which TnT characters give you nightmares? (Jono: Seth Fischer “it’s hard to shake”, shares about loving tributes to Bonnie, Gordon Lightfoot; Jere: Crunch Crunch Guy/Donald Trump)
– Jere tells inside scoops about Rod Black who likes to “get things goin”
– Do you cut your own grass? (Jono confirms owning a John Deere riding mower)

Hit the Post Game
– RJ –> The Duker (“I had to take my Cosplay hat off cause I was way too fucking hot” lookin’ mafk, “How’s Shawna doing? Well, she met a guy on the internet, so I guess we’ll see…” lookin’ mafk, “Just tell me Collin’s not coming to Thanksgiving” lookin’ mafk): 99.9 The Goose in London: “Sweet Emotion” by Aerosmith
– (Jeremy shares William Shatner fart story at London Comic-Con; Jonathan shares Donald Sutherland story)
– Jeremy: 99.9 The Goose: “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits

Audience member asks, “What’s been your worst fight?”; Jono gets irritable when hungry; Jere isn’t great with directions)

Jonathan tells the Knowton Nash & Peter Mansbridge “The National” story; Corey Hart at the Junos “No Way” story

Jeremy warms up on the drums; Jono becomes Gear Pigeon: “cool, cool, cool”

Jono sings “Clap Your Turd Cutter”, “Trailer Park Life”, & “Brian Wilson”

Jeremy attended Arkells Rally show with Tim Oxford’s Dad & Lisa at the Hamilton CFL stadium; hung out with “Stumpy” (Ryan the Sound-man). “Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!”; “Bahdism is alive and well with the Arkellians!”; Tom Power was in attendance (played “Lyric or Lie” with Tom Power)

Jono wears homemade bow-tie with a Canadian glasses case with baler twine for Canada Day interview with Marilyn.

Jono supports fundraiser for Miranda (single mom with cancer).

Introduce concept of Canadianity Content Studios; rationale for creating their own internet-focused content, providing a venue for others’ creativity; intention to feature cartoon TnT clips, TnT video podcasts

Breaking News: Ontario Tour Dates (August 10-11-12: Oshawa, Toronto, St. Catharine’s) announced. “That’s going to be unskinny bop!” Expressed desire for summer-time Bahd-B-Ques; discuss east-coast & west-coast dates. “Bahds n Suds” Tour.

Jeremy moved parents into new Barrie apartment; Jere’s mom is struggling to adjust (getting lost, feeling overwhelmed, difficulty remembering); Jono shares struggles with his mom’s dementia; discuss challenges of aging parents and subsequent health issues.

Jono shares Bruce Hornsby story at LLBean parking lot, playing basketball against Alan Iverson. Jono’s first purchased cassette was Bruce Hornsby, played it in his Hyundai Pony; discuss Dire Straits deep dive.

Jeremy’s Top 5 “Are You Still Up?” jams
– “_________” by _______ (Donovan (Jono) & Reverb Guy (Jere); camping trip; “Wait. What are you?!”; discuss what they’re afraid of…)
– “______” by Enigma (Keenie (Jono) & Kenny (Jere); arguing at 3am; “Turn it off. that’s enough!”; “Turn down the attitude, then I’ll turn it off!”; Kenny wants MyPillow, Keenie gives silent treatment, references her therapist)
– “Open Arms” by Journey (Girlfriend (Jono) & Boyfriend (Jere); Bickering couple; guy apologizes for being an ass-hole, for hitting on the secretary, showing up at her work without a shirt on. “She’s on my radar!”; He wants “Real good hair… that’ll get you paid & laid”; “You’re getting neither of those things from me tonight… I bet Steve Perry would be happy to hear about my dreams and feelings…”; He loves Nic Cage, gets cramp in his leg.) Jono complains about getting Charlie Horses; Jere talks about doing small changes to improve mental health.
– “_______” by ________(Kevin (Jere) & Bonfire Guy (Jono); Debrief the vibes with Mandy who works in Fast Food; Debates whether he should take her for a Cod wrap from Arby’s; “Maybe I should just buy her a pair of capri pants”; wonders if he should get airplane message)
– “________” by ________ (Connor (Jere) & Friend (Jono); Connor doesn’t have to get up in the morning, wants to watch & debrief tv shows; Friend tries to re-direct Connor back to bed; “Right on, man… see you tomorrow!”)